Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Cannonball

As Mentioned in Episode 524 – House in a House

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Xorn is a junk food guy. (New X-Men #127)
I… I don’t think Snuffy really cares anymore, dude. (New X-Men #127)
The idea of Magneto making all of this up fascinates me. (New X-Men #127)
Aw, Sonny. (New X-Men #127)
This poor kid. (New X-Men #127)
“And life goes on.” (New X-Men #127)
The appropriately ridiculous first appearance of Fantomex. (New X-Men #128)
Fire, life, and silverware incarnate. (New X-Men #128)
SO THAT’S A PROBLEM. (New X-Men #128)
In which Emma sits like a dyed-in-the-wool bisexual. (New X-Men #128)
This silly, silly man. (New X-Men #129)
Corporal Animal. (New X-Men #129)
E.V.A. is so pretty. (New X-Men #129)
We have fun. (New X-Men #129)
Weapon XII. (New X-Men #130)
Absolutely, unquestionably the line of the story. (New X-Men #130)
NEXT EPISODE: A memorial of magnetism.

524 – House in a House

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which Xorn goes out on the town; silverware is morally neutral; Cyclops pursues dubious counsel; the X means ten; and Fantomex is eminently enjoyable.

X-PLAINED:

  • The parentage of Hope Summers
  • New X-Men #127-130
  • Mutant Town
  • A monster who is not a monster but is, perhaps, a metaphor
  • X-Corporation Paris
  • The whole Phoenix situation
  • Fantomex
  • Weapon XII
  • A gene-hazard
  • Corporal Animal
  • E.V.A.
  • The Weapon Plus program (somewhat)
  • The World (somewhat)
  • The Shi’ar Empire vs. Earth
  • Xorn variations

NEXT EPISODE: A Memorial of Magnetism

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507 – Comic Book Logic

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In which there are a lot of explosions in X-Force; Great Britain-616 is to intelligence as Canada-616 is to military; Alastair Stuart used to be fun; Emma Frost is here to stomp on your dreams; Chamber joins the X-Men; and the Generation X kids graduate themselves.

X-PLAINED:

  • Revolution (again)
  • Counter-X (again)
  • X-Force #114-115
  • Generation X #75
  • Yet another origin of humanity and/or life on Earth (again)
  • The World Engine
  • Accurate representation of CD-Rs
  • Genetech
  • A swimsuit interlude
  • Agent Corben
  • Alastair Stuart (more) (again)
  • A kidnapping
  • A really amazingly terrible plan
  • A particularly large explosion
  • The remaining 14 issues of X-Force vol. 1
  • An interlude at Applebee’s
  • Bad times at the New Xavier School
  • A murder (more) (again)
  • Intersectional superheroism
  • An additional bonus murder
  • An invitation
  • Many goodbyes
  • What happens next to the Generation X kids

NEXT EPISODE: The end of Revolution

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As Mentioned in Episode 499 – Light Me, Boy!

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We just want them to be happy! (X-Force #110)
That Jorge Lucas sure can draw. (X-Force #110)
GUN ARMS GUN ARMS (X-Force #110)
“The dishes… are done.” (X-Force #110)
“I mean, I’m going to space to get married and have a kid eventually, but not, like, yet.” (X-Force #110)
Next up is the PowerPoint presentation. (X-Force #110)
That shirt is held together by the sheer power of the Comics Code Authority. (X-Force #111)
X-FOOOOORRRRRCCCEEE (X-Force #111)
I guess they take after their dad? Kind of? (X-Force #111)
Deep (cerebral) tissue massage. (X-Force #111)
Listen, Valentina, the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb! And I guess the green liquid in those lady-tubes is maybe somewhere in between! (X-Force #111)
In which the link between SHIELD and OSI from The Venture Bros is even more obvious than usual. I think it’s the inking. (X-Force #112)
Timely… (X-Force #112)
Racal x-plains his extremely belated remorse. (X-Force #112)
I guess those lava lamp babies actually had it kind of good. (X-Force #112)
X-Force has always been a subtle book. (X-Force #113)
Yep. Subtle. (X-Force #113)
Half a world away, Cable smiles and doesn’t know why. (X-Force #113)
Awesome x4 (X-Force #113)
Striptease speedrun! (X-Force #113)
NEXT TIME: Somehow we’ve made 500 of these?!

Jay’s X-Major Arcana

  • 0 Fool – Wolverine (Logan)
  • 1 Magician – Forge
  • 2 High Priestess – Storm
  • 3 Empress – Emma Frost
  • 4 Emperor – Cyclops
  • 5 Hierophant – Charles Xavier
  • 6 Lovers – Gambit and Rogue
  • 7 Chariot – Magneto
  • 8 Justice – Bishop
  • 9 Hermit – Mystique
  • 10 Wheel of Fortune – Destiny
  • 11 Strength – Mirage with Wolfsbane
  • 12 Hanged Man – Havok (alt. Iceman)
  • 13 Death – Archangel
  • 14 Temperance – Nightcrawler
  • 15 Devil – Sebastian Shaw
  • 16 Tower – Quentin Quire
  • 17 Star – Hope
  • 18 Moon – Magik
  • 19 Sun – Shadowcat
  • 20 Judgement – Phoenix
  • 21 World – Krakoa

As Mentioned in Episode 489 – The Eyepatch of Love

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I can suspend disbelief about a lot of things, but I just don’t buy Sexually Irresistible Pete Wisdom, eyepatch or no. (X-Force #102)
Alastair Stuart has not aged well. (X-Force #102)
Please enjoy these meatspore stormtroopers. (X-Force #102)
It’s not just me, right? This cover is sketchy. (X-Force #103)
Sam’s face in this panel is gonna haunt my nightmares. (X-Force #103)
It’s Dr. Niles Roman! (X-Force #103)
Wellp. (X-Force #104)
Definite Slimer vibes. (X-Force #104)
And that’s the end* of Pete Wisdom.

*nope

(X-Force #104)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men!

489 – The Eyepatch of Love

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In which Pete Wisdom does his best Charles Xavier; Alastair Stuart has not aged well; San Francisco has monster problems; and there’s probably an alternate universe where Dr. Niles Roman fronts a metal band for toddlers.

X-PLAINED:

  • The value of Pete Wisdom
  • X-Force #102-105
  • Revolution (more) (again)
  • Counter X (more) (again)
  • Flight
  • Elf stuff
  • Alastair Stuart (again)
  • The eyepatch of love
  • Science City 53
  • Meatspore stormtroopers
  • Project Cuckoo
  • Dr. Niles Roman
  • Tactics vs. Strategy
  • Monster problems
  • The Violence Machine
  • The apparent death of Pete Wisdom
  • What a good X-Force HQ needs
  • The most X-treme possible lineup

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 488 – There Goes the Moon (Mutant X May, Part 3)

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Color-coded Horsemen of Apocalypse! (Mutant X #19)
What’s the magic word? (Mutant X #19)
Someone let that flying aerobics instructor in! The rain is going to wreck her hair! (Mutant X #20)
That A on his belt stands for Ally! (Mutant X #20)
Note that Charles Xavier’s Evil Mullet is never seen outside of these two panels. (Mutant X #21)
Not a bad riff on the Phoenix costume, honestly. (Mutant X #21)
And then Professor X turned into Doctor Fate. (Mutant X #22)
“That’s right, my friends! We must strike Galactus with every color of the traffic light!” (Mutant X #22)
You ever have a dream where someone is mean to you and then you’re still mad at them when you see them in real life? (Mutant X #23)
Behold! Bargain-basement X-Man, with bonus moppets! (Mutant X #23)
Just a hell of a cover. (Mutant X #24)
Why would you put a portal to the Negative Zone in the goddamn FLOOR?! At least put up a guard rail or something! I’m calling OSHA! (Mutant X #24)
Spoiler: they all just go to a bar. (Mutant X #25)
Flowers for Beast-gernon. (Yes, yes, we know Algernon is the mouse.) (Mutant X #25)
ah jeez (Mutant X #25)
It’s cool, Bloodstorm. We’ve all been there. (Mutant X #26)
The Marauders! (Mutant X #26)
Meet Dagger. And also sorta Cloak. (Mutant X #27)
Awwwwww (Mutant X #27)
Okay, that kid is way too chill. (Mutant X #28)
That’s way better than Evil Xavier’s mullet! (Mutant X #29)
Why, it’s the brand new Sabre-Roaster 3000, as seen on TV! (Mutant X #29)
Plus Iron Giant Man, but he’s too big for this panel! (Mutant X #30)
(This caption intentionally left blank) (Mutant X #31)
After this, they blow up the moon! (Mutant X #31)
The Beyonder x-plains Mutant X! And also eats Captain America. (Mutant X Annual 2001)
It’s really hard to pick a favorite! (Mutant X Annual 2001)
Benjamin E. Yonder, you put the population of New York City down right now! (Mutant X Annual 2001)
Well, I would have said “WHAT?!” (Mutant X #32)
Dracula dies not with a bang, but with a PFFFT. (Mutant X #32)
*sniffle* (Mutant X #32)
Goodbye, Earth-1298. It’s been a hell of a ride. (Mutant X #32)
NEXT TIME: Black ops in black leather!

488 – There Goes the Moon (Mutant X May, Part 3)

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In which we reap the consequences of our choices; possession is 18/10 of the law; Sinister dresses for the occasion; Hank gets his groove back; Havok of Earth-1298 is a jerk; Hank loses his groove; Captain America blows up the moon; the Beyonder experiences a stirring; Dracula makes a deal; and Mutant X May comes to an end.

X-PLAINED:

  • The aftermath of Mutant X
  • Mutant X #19-32
  • Mutant X Annual 2001
  • The story so far
  • Character color coding
  • Some telepathic misdirection
  • Apocalypse of Earth-1298
  • Charles Xavier of Earth-1298
  • Professor X’s Juggernaut-fightin’ mullet
  • A whole lot of possession
  • Fake Galactus
  • Several fears
  • X-Man of Earth-1298
  • Child batteries
  • The worst place for a portal to the Negative Zone
  • How Hank McCoy became the Brute
  • Vampire problems
  • The Marauders of Earth-1298
  • The Outcasts of Earth-1298
  • Cloak & Dagger of Earth-1298
  • James Hudson of Earth-1298
  • The Avengers of Earth-1298
  • The Beyonder of Earth-1298 who is also kind of the Goblin Force
  • Several additional superheroes
  • A last stand
  • The appeal of alternate timelines
  • Earth-1298’s best glow-ups

NEXT EPISODE: Attack of the Meatspore Stormtroopers!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 482 – The Mutant Gene for Murder

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“Mr. Wisdom would have wanted me to show this much chest.” (X-Force #106)
A fitting tribute from Romany Wisdom (Mark II). (X-Force #106)
Come on, Cable totally would have trained X-Force on Robert’s Rules of Order. (X-Force #106)
“Well, you’re looking at a version of it that doesn’t yet have nearly enough black leather.” (X-Force #106)
Upon further consideration: yeah, Meltdown totally designed all of these. (X-Force #107)
Bedlam’s new powers! (X-Force #107)
Meltdown’s new powers! (X-Force #107)
Proudstar’s new powers! (X-Force #107)
“You see, I have the mutant gene for murder.” (X-Force #107)
Domino understood the fashion assignment. (X-Force #108)
Remember, you can shoot the eyeball for double damage. (X-Force #108)
Spy stuff. (X-Force #108)
First you murder all of the children at this birthday party, and then you have the gall to criticize the host’s baking? (X-Force #108)
Meet these guys! But don’t get too attached. (X-Force #108)
But that doesn’t… it looks nothing like… ah, never mind. (X-Force #108)
You can read the entirety of New Mutants and X-Force as the history of Cannonball learning to turn. (X-Force #109)
I bet he’s using his Cable voice for this threat. (X-Force #109)
Tsung has probably seen The Matrix like, a lot. (X-Force #109)
That’s our Tabitha! (X-Force #109)
Mr. Giger sends his regards. (X-Force #109)
NEXT TIME: Claremont’s back!

482 – The Mutant Gene for Murder

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In which Pete Wisdom canonically smells weird; we are inordinately entertained by a villain; everyone levels up their superpowers; and you probably shouldn’t shave the logo of your secret super team into the side of your head.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nasty Boys disambiguation
  • X-Force #106-109
  • Counter X (more) (again)
  • Shockwave (more) (again)
  • Turn-of-the-millennium cool
  • X-Force (more) (again)
  • How to dress for funerals, I guess?
  • How Pete Wisdom smells
  • Romany Wisdom (again)
  • Marcus Tsung
  • Mind bullets
  • Nightman
  • Our first audience challenge in a really long time
  • A bad nickname
  • X-Force’s new looks
  • A thing growing out of Domino’s back
  • Several enigmas shrouded in mystery
  • The worst birthday party
  • Abel, Baker, and Charlie
  • Fish
  • The Factory
  • Telepathic “voices”
  • The miracle of magnetism

NEXT EPISODE: The return of Chris Claremont!

LISTENERS! We want to hear your Marcus Tsung murder ballads! Send ‘em to [email protected] with the subject line MUTANT MURDER BALLAD, and we’ll stick ‘em on the web or play ‘em on the show!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!