Cannonball – Page 3 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

388 – Deceit and Death

October 9, 2022 Jay 18 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which there’s a lot of good television out there; Shang-Chi says the title of the story at every possible opportunity; Wolverine is probably not a Deadhead; Sebastian Shaw thinks he’s a bigger deal than he is; and Operation Zero Tolerance officially begins.

X-PLAINED:

Storm’s ruby
X-Men #62-65
The Story So Far
Space LEGOs
Shang-Chi
Shang-Chi’s dad
An excellent fight scene
Word balloon placements
Agent Reston
Elixir Vitae
Several varyingly unexpected resurrections
Cyber Ninjas
Product placement for your own product
Bludgeon, Katana, Fist, and some other guy
Fujikawa Enterprises
Richard Fisk
Rambo heresay
Prime Sentinels
Children of Apocalypse
Carol Danvers substitutions

NEXT WEEK: Hawk talk

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X floats on

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 379 – Stardate: Today

July 24, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

FAO Schwarz, allegedly. (Uncanny X-Men #341)

Gladiator is not great at diplomacy. (Uncanny X-Men #341)

I AM SO WORRIED ABOUT THIS POOR MAN AND HIS HORSE (Uncanny X-Men #341)

New Outfits: Trish (Uncanny X-Men #342)

New Outfits: Bishop and Rogue (Uncanny X-Men #342)

New Outfits: Gambit, Joseph, and Beast (Uncanny X-Men #342)

Well, that’s a new look for the Phalanx. (Uncanny X-Men #343)

One for your reaction files. (Uncanny X-Men #343)

Word balloons on the cover are an underrated gimmick. (Uncanny X-Men #344)

Where babies come from! (Uncanny X-Men #344)

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X vs. Black Tom Cassidy!

379 – Stardate: Today

July 17, 2022 Jay 7 comments

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In which what happens in space stays in space; a horse is imperiled; Joseph does some dubious science; Gladiator’s name is absolutely not Gary; everybody gets new costumes; and we learn where babies come from.

X-PLAINED:

Shi’ar taxonomy, sort of
The Shi’ar (again)
The Phalanx (again)
Uncanny X-Men #341-344
A whole bunch of callbacks to X-Men #98
A carriage ride
The Z’noxx chamber (again)
One way to have safer sex
FAO Schwarz
The Shi’ar Imerial Guard (again)
Diplomacy, kind of
Space outfits
Trademarks
Pure Phalanx
Dinosaur Kingdom 2
Where Shi’ar babies come from
Flirting
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl vs. Isca the Unbeaten
Characters we would happily voice if invited to do so

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X vs. Black Tom Cassidy!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 373 – Tainted Loins

May 22, 2022 Miles 7 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Looks like your dad’s pain is a little worse than yours, Bobby. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Now that is 1996 Sam Guthrie. Finally. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Graydon Creed according to Joe Madureira… and Victor Creed as a glass of whiskey. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

If the command van’s a-knockin’… (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Joe Madureira’s mostly known for his action scenes, but he’s pretty great with quiet conversations too. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Your government dresses you funny, Madrox. (X-Factor #128)

That’s so Raven. (X-Factor #128)

Graydon Creed according to Jeff Matsuda… and Harper, who is well aware of the need for discretion. (X-Factor #128)

Mystique transforms, version 1. (X-Factor #128)

Sabretooth and less-interesting-Sabretooth. (X-Factor #128)

Val Cooper just got back from the most dangerous sleepover ever. (X-Factor #129)

I love it when powers cross panel borders. (X-Factor #129)

Mystique transforms, version 2. (X-Factor #129)

Having grown up in the 90s, I can assure you this is quite an accomplishment. (X-Factor #129)

Well I’m impressed. (X-Factor #129)

Ah, that explains it. (X-Factor #129)

Scrawling SOON across your son’s campaign poster is the first step in saving his life. (X-Factor #129)

Blowing a hole in your son’s campaign poster is the second step in saving his life. (X-Factor #130)

Blowing additional holes in your son’s campaign poster is the third step in saving his life. (X-Factor #130)

Mystique transforms, version 3. (X-Factor #130)

Graydon Creed according to Eric Battle… and Val Cooper has changed out of her sleepwear. (X-Factor #130)

I’m just writing a visual companion, and I kinda want to yell “GUARDS”. (X-Factor #130)

This should’ve been two-thirds of the issue instead of two pages. (X-Factor #130)

Snazzy! (X-Factor #130)

Raven, just interrupt! You’re allowed! (X-Factor #130)

And with that..! (X-Factor #130)

NEXT EPISODE: Hawk Talk! IN TWO WEEKS: Frank Punisher meets Carl the X-Cutioner.

373 – Tainted Loins

May 22, 2022 Miles 7 comments

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In which the Drake Roberts identity is retired; Gambit bonds with William Drake; Graydon Creed is evil but nondescript; tales of Pyro’s death have been somewhat exaggerated; and some mysteries resolve better than others.

X-PLAINED:

Damian Tryp
X-Factor (more) (again)
Uncanny X-Men #340
X-Factor #128-30
More Drake family dynamics
The Sword of Shannara
The general vagueness of Graydon Creed
Several ninjas
Hound stuff
Val Cooper’s pajamas
An unexpected return
Shapeshifting
Overextended plotlines
Some unusually threatening dad jokes
The anticlimactic death of Graydon Creed
Some time travel bullshit
Which series are ending and which are relaunching between Reign of X and Destiny of X
How and when Colossus stopped being the Juggernaut

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Carl & Frank

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 369 – Carly Askani

April 17, 2022 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

“This ought to give you” *POW* “a new perspective” *BIFF* “on things, Alex!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)

Head trauma for Lucas BIshop! (Uncanny X-Men #339)

I mean, she’s not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men #339)

“You think I just fell off the turnip truck, McCoy? No one pulls a fast one on J. Jonah Jameson!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)

“I’m Ororo Munroe, and I’m here to x-plain the X-Men… because it’s about time someone did.” (Uncanny X-Men #339)

Never trust a Summers when he tells you he’s fine. (Uncanny X-Men #339)

Well, if they can print it, I guess we can post it. (X-Men #59)

Head trauma for Lucas Bishop! Again! (X-Men #59)

Hell of a Wolverine you’ve got there, Mr. Kubert. (X-Men #59)

JOSEPH I AM CALLING THE POLICE (X-Men #59)

Not quite as good as the Rogue/Gambit kiss from #41, but still… whoa. (X-Men #59)

I’M HUGE (X-Men #59)

“For instance, I can see through this utterly massive chin.” (Wolverine Annual 1996)

Josef Stalin..? (Wolverine Annual 1996)

Up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)

…and up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)

…and up. (Wolverine Annual 1996)

“General Grievious, sir, it’s the Jedi!” (Wolverine Annual 1996)

You know, I think this might be Sunfire’s best non-Age of Apocalypse look! (Wolverine Annual 1996)

*Pacific Rim music plays* (and now it’s in your head too) (Wolverine Annual 1996)

Logan, that… that was there before. Maybe you need to adjust your bandana. (Wolverine Annual 1996)

NEXT TIME: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

369 – Carly Askani

April 17, 2022 Miles 23 comments

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In which Storm & Joseph X-Plain the X-Men, Alex Summers is not brainwashed this time, he promises, Scott Lobdell writes better moments than stories, Ed McGuinness draws very large chins, and it’s Denver the Last Dinosaur, not Denver the Lost Dinosaur

X-PLAINED:

Uncanny X-Men #339
Spider-Man disambiguation
A. Kubert disambiguation
J. Jonah Jameson (again) (hooray!)
Sneaking songs
The history of smoking regulation on airlines
Creed disambiguation
Havok’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
Bonding while falling out of planes
X-Men #59
The copyright status of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Well-drawn Wolverines
Hercules vs The Tick
Wolverine Annual 1996
The tragic death of Mariko Yashida
Silver Samurai (Kuniuchio Harada)
Sunfire (Shiro Yoshida) and what he’s been up to since Fatal Attractions
Josef Stalin, apparently?
Red Ronin and its nemesis, a time-lost dinosaur who we assure you is not Godzilla
Jedi and/or samurai vs. doors
Our logo fonts
James Howlett, guidance counselor
Onslaught but not evil
Whether Magneto could wield Mjolnir

NEXT EPISODE: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 363 – Licked by a Shadow

February 20, 2022 Jay 6 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

It’s hard to be Warren Kenneth Worthington III. (Uncanny X-Men #338)

Hey, feathers! (Uncanny X-Men #338)

Peep those teeny peepers! (Uncanny X-Men #338)

YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN? SHE’S TOTALLY POUNCING ON PSYLOCKE! (Uncanny X-Men #338)

That’s our J. Jonah Jameson! (Uncanny X-Men #338)

Guys. GUYS. (Uncanny X-Men #338)

Ouch. (X-Men #58)

In which William Drake has a rare moment of conscience. (X-Men #58)

Rogue can’t sleep without dramatic irony. (X-Men #58)

“What do kids like these days? Dirtbikes, right?) (X-Men Annual 1996)

Well, that’ll ruin a baseball game. (X-Men Annual 1996)

Aw, man. (X-Men Annual 1996)

Can we discuss the apparent existence of X-Beer? (X-Men Annual 1996)

ALLL RIIIGHT indeed. (X-Men Annual 1996)

LOOK AT ALL THOSE X-MANS! (X-Men Annual 1996)

NEXT EPISODE: Pryde & Wisdom

363 – Licked by a Shadow

February 20, 2022 Jay 8 comments

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In which standing in fields looking confused is a way of life; Psylocke gets a new superpower; when you gotta confess you gotta confess; Iceman’s dad stands up for justice; we mourn a Sentinel; and it’s probably a good thing that most companies don’t do mind melds as a team-building exercise.

X-PLAINED:

Levels of mutant power
Omicron-level mutations
Miles’s brief baseball career
Uncanny X-Men #338
X-Men #58
X-Men Annual 1996
Archangel’s wings
Joseph vs. Holographic Magneto
Shadow teleportation
The errand theory of confession
Graydon Creed (more) (again)
“Drake Roberts” and “Samson Guthry”
Several ways to memorialize the Mutant Massacre
Onslaught, but an anteater
A fight
Several JJJ cameos
X-baseball games
A highly atypical Sentinel
Several oblique warnings
X-Men ‘97
Media inspired by the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Pryde & Wisdom

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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