Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Doctor Crocodile

As Mentioned in Episode 129 – They Don’t Allow Dragons in Here

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Lockheed, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore. (Excalibur #12)
Lockheed, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore. (Excalibur #12)
Spoiler: this ends exactly the way you'd expect it to. (Excalibur #12)
Spoiler: this ends exactly the way you’d expect it to. (Excalibur #12)
This guy. (Excalibur #12)
This guy. (Excalibur #12)
IT'S SUCH A GOOD SIGHT GAG! (Excalibur #12)
IT’S SUCH A GOOD SIGHT GAG! (Excalibur #12)
Fisticuffs! (Excalibur #12)
Fisticuffs! (Excalibur #12)
This series has the best covers, man. (Excalibur #13)
This series has the best covers, man. (Excalibur #13)
Swell new threads, Cap! (Excalibur #13)
Swell new threads, Cap! (Excalibur #13)
Princess Kitty, now 100% more bland. (Excalibur #13)
Princess Kitty, now 100% more bland. (Excalibur #13)
'Kay. (Excalibur #13)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #13)
THIS IS NOT A GOOD FOUNDATION FOR A RELATIONSHIP. Also, I'm pretty sure they're both, like, fourteen. (Excalibur #13)
THIS IS NOT A GOOD FOUNDATION FOR A RELATIONSHIP. Also, I’m pretty sure they’re both, like, fourteen. (Excalibur #13)
Another classic. (Excalibur #14)
Another classic. (Excalibur #14)
I'm not saying he's not, but... (Excalibur #14)
I’m not saying he’s not, but… (Excalibur #14)
Whoa, dang. (Excalibur #14)
Whoa, dang. (Excalibur #14)
Oh. THAT guy. (Excalibur #14)
Oh. THAT guy. (Excalibur #14)
The more you know! (Excalibur #14)
The more you know! (Excalibur #14)
Swell new threads, Meggan! (Excalibur #14)
Swell new threads, Meggan! (Excalibur #14)
I always remember Albert being in this scene, which he's obviously not, because he didn't exist yet. Go figure. -J (Excalibur #14)
I always remember Albert being in this scene, which he’s obviously not, because he didn’t exist yet. Go figure. -J (Excalibur #14)
It's like the dog ending of Silent Hill II, but instead of shibas, you get Chris Claremont and John Byrne. (Excalibur #14)
It’s like the dog ending of Silent Hill II, but instead of shibas, you get Chris Claremont and John Byrne. (Excalibur #14)
You tell 'em, Galactus! (Excalibur #14)
You tell ’em, Galactus! (Excalibur #14)
Look, we get what you were going for, but, no. (Excalibur #12)
Look, we get what you were going for, but, no. (Excalibur #12)
I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. (Excalibur #13)
I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. (Excalibur #13)
You can go home now. We've hit single greatest panel of Excalibur, ever. (Excalibur #15)
You can go home now. We’ve hit single greatest panel of Excalibur, ever. (Excalibur #15)
Ah, "the old-fashioned way." (Excalibur #15)
Ah, “the old-fashioned way.” (Excalibur #15)
MEANWHILE... (Excalibur #15)
MEANWHILE… (Excalibur #15)
AND THEN... (Excalibur #15)
AND THEN… (Excalibur #15)
Jamie Jaspers is terrifying. (Excalibur #15)
Jamie Jaspers is terrifying. (Excalibur #15)
LATER... (Excalibur #15)
LATER… (Excalibur #15)
AND THAT'S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Excalibur #15)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Excalibur #15)
NEXT EPISODE: Killing the X-Men, with Charles Soule!
NEXT EPISODE: Killing the X-Men, with Charles Soule!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

129 – They Don’t Allow Dragons in Here (The Cross-Time Caper, Part 1)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which “Cross-Time Caper” is something of a misnomer; Excalibur is an awful lot of fun to summarize; none of us will ever live up to Oscar Wilde’s expectations; Captain Britain secretly derives his powers from genre; sometimes things turn out to be simple; Kitty Pryde is better at everything than you; manipulation and murder are the new flowers and candy; context may or may not ruin everything; Meggan gets a new outfit; Technet takes Brighton; and some universes are just too silly to survive.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rick Jones, Sidekick Supreme
  • The Cross-Time Caper
  • Excalibur #12-15
  • Three love triangles
  • Jay’s mom’s late iguana
  • Captain Marshall, Lord Champion of the Realm
  • Prince William
  • Butch the ogre
  • Princess Kate
  • Fisticuffs
  • Instant air conditioning, Excalibur-style
  • Bagpipe Vader
  • An anticlimactic solution to a protracted problem
  • Sorcery 101
  • Several profoundly unethical ways to initiate a relationship
  • Arrested Excalibur
  • The Campsite Rule of relationships
  • The logistics and social history of tarring and feathering
  • A protracted parody
  • A very large number and several names for it
  • A theoretical team-up
  • Ultimate Hunger
  • An unidentified comic that is not Ultimate Hunger
  • Some less-than-ideal creative choices
  • A multiversal montage
  • Jamie Braddock (more) (again)
  • A duck
  • The unenviable fate of Doctor Crocodile
  • Pairing mutants with metal genres
  • Inconsistent flight safety measures

NEXT EPISODE: Killing the X-Men, with Charles Soule

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 98 – Between Alien Visitations and Drunken Sulks

8 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Hello, Meggan!
Hello, Meggan!
Say what you will about Dai Thomas; the man is thorough.
Say what you will about Dai Thomas; the man is thorough.
The Crazy Gang tries so hard.
The Crazy Gang tries so hard.
These dudes really really seem like they must be a reference to something, but we were unable to dig up a clear source.
These dudes really really seem like they must be a reference to something, but we were unable to dig up a clear source.
Also how we found Kyle.
Also how we found Kyle.
She may be the evil dictator of a crypto-Nazi dystopian Earth, but damned if Sat-Yr-Nin doesn't have great hair.
She may be the evil dictator of a crypto-Nazi dystopian Earth, but damned if Sat-Yr-Nin doesn’t have great hair.
It's kind of charming how petty Brian gets when he's feeling self-righteous.
It’s kind of charming how petty Brian gets when he’s feeling self-righteous.
Sidney Crumb is ill.
Sidney Crumb is ill.
Aw, man.
Aw, man.
I'm'a let you finish, X-Men, but this is the best team in the Marvel Universe.
I’m’a let you finish, X-Men, but this is the best team in the Marvel Universe.
Captain Britain is a superhero comic that is also an extended metaphor that is also a superhero comic.
Captain Britain is a superhero comic that is also an extended metaphor that is also a superhero comic.
One more Technet group shot, just because.
One more Technet group shot, just because.
Brian Braddock summed up in a single panel.
Brian Braddock summed up in a single panel.
The Cherubim. Don't get too attached--they're super doomed.
The Cherubim. Don’t get too attached–they’re super doomed.
Okay, then.
Okay, then.
Captain U.K. and her therapy mullet.
Captain U.K. and her therapy mullet.
Meanwhile at Stately Braddock Manor...
Meanwhile at Stately Braddock Manor…
The real superpower is adherence to narrow beauty standards, but flight is also pretty cool.
The real superpower is adherence to narrow beauty standards, but flight is also pretty cool.
This sequence really needs to be set to the Benny Hill theme.
This sequence really needs to be set to the Benny Hill theme.
Oldest trap in the book.
Oldest trap in the book.
MORE TECHNET! It's Technet Christmas!
MORE TECHNET! It’s Technet Christmas!
There's probably a universe where Captain Britain is in fact a girl gang, and that's the universe where I want to live.
There’s probably a universe where Captain Britain is in fact a girl gang, and that’s the universe where I want to live.
Fridging summed up in a single panel.
Fridging summed up in a single panel.
Remember that time the protagonist, a superhero, straight-up smashed a dude's head in with a boulder? Because that definitely happened in this comic.
Remember that time the protagonist, a superhero, straight-up smashed a dude’s head in with a boulder? Because that definitely happened in this comic.
Don't quit your day job, kid.
Don’t quit your day job, kid.
Hardboiled gangster Meggan is the goddamn best.
Hardboiled gangster Meggan is the goddamn best.
No, seriously, there should be a whole comic that's just about the two of them doing this.
No, seriously, there should be a whole comic that’s just about the two of them doing this.
That RICK sound effect, tho.
That RICK sound effect, tho.
OH, HI.
OH, HI.
And they all lived happily ever after, but not really, because that doesn't make for a very interesting ongoing series.
And they all lived happily ever after, but not really, because that doesn’t make for a very interesting ongoing series.
NEXT EPISODE: Genosha is for lovers!
NEXT EPISODE: Genosha is for lovers!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

 

98 – Between Alien Visitations and Drunken Sulks

22 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Google Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which we continue our coverage of pre-Excalibur Captain Britain; S.T.R.I.K.E. is D.U.C.K. is W.H.O.; the R.C.X. is one lapse in judgment away from on-the-job cosplay; Meggan levels up; your name will never be as cool as Doctor Crocodile’s; Technet writes their own cold opens; and we announce the upcoming debut of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men!

 

X-PLAINED:

  • A large number of acronyms
  • Irony
  • Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • Mighty World of Marvel #14-16
  • Captain Britain #1-14
  • The aftermath of the Jaspers Warp
  • Inspector Dai Thomas
  • How to work out a superhero’s secret identity
  • The Crazy Gang (more) (again)
  • Slaymaster
  • Captain Britain’s costume
  • Sidney Crumb
  • Gatecrasher’s Technet (more) (again)
  • Earth-794
  • Kaptain Briton
  • Sat-Yr-Nin
  • The R.C.X.
  • Agents Gabriel & Michael
  • The Warpies
  • The Cherubim
  • Meggan (more) (again)
  • Doctor Crocodile
  • Jamie Braddock
  • Betsy Braddock’s short and calamitous tenure as Captain Britain
  • Women in Refrigerators
  • Our thoughts on the X-movies
  • Mutant heredity

NEXT EPISODE: Genosha Is for Lovers

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!