In which the 1990s were very long; if you die in the simulation, you die in real life; Adrienne Frost is a bad person with good clothes; we judge the number 57; things just keep happening; and Penance somehow gets even more complicated.
X-PLAINED:
Bevatron
Generation X #55-57
The Hellions and their untimely demise (again)
Uncanny X-Men #281
A continuity conundrum
Many allusions and references
Cognitive dissonance
Dancing between the raindrops of continuity
Resolution
Emma Frost, triumphant
Fashion
Emplate (more) (again)
Propeller beanies
Feelings
Explosions
One way to solve a problem
Whether you should read Dazzler: The Movie
The worst possible power swaps
NEXT EPISODE: The secret origins of Gambit’s fart ghost girlfriend!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which the moments of X-Universe are better than the whole; the code name “Dirigible” carries some inherent risks; Tony Stark is often more interesting without Iron Man; Clint Barton is no James Rhodes; there is somehow a Matt Murdock who makes even worse choices than the one from Earth-616; nobody should ever trust Mikhail Rasputin; and the baby’s name really doesn’t matter.
X-PLAINED:
J. Jonah Jameson’s stance on mutants
A way to get cool stuff AND support Trans Lifeline
X-Universe #1-2
Gwen Stacy (Earth-295)
Some really obnoxious white savior tropes
The Marauders (Earth-295)
How to waste Arcade
Spider-nostalgia
Owl noises
Tony Stark (Earth-295)
Clint Barton and/or James Rhodes (Earth-295)
Dr. Donald Blake (Earth-616)
Dr. Donald Blake (Earth-295)
Blark
Mikhail Rasputin (Earth-295)
Ship, but not Ship
Ben Grimm (Earth-295)
Sue Storm (Earth-295)
Bruce Banner (Earth-295)
A great many overplayed references
Matt Murdock (Earth-295)
Manuel de la Rocha (Earth-295)
Victor Von Doom (Earth-295)
Marte and Rafe McGuffin
The Upscale Program
A very hazardous plan
The Stryfe Force
The dreams of Donald Blake
A red herring named Frankie
Augmented humans in a mutant-centric world
How Wolverine communicates with animals
How Professor X lost his hair
NEXT EPISODE: What-ifs and might-have-beens!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This June, we’ll be donating all of the profits to Trans Lifeline!
In which Cable and Domino may or may not be very old teenagers; disguises are not Dani Moonstar’s strong suit; Empath remains awful; Shatterstar probably talks exactly like a telenovela; X-Force needs an office manager; Mothra is larger than most things; and if you get to choose between being an External or a Guthrie, always be a Guthrie.
X-PLAINED:
Bastion, to some extent
X-Force #34-37
Optical disambiguation
Moonstar
Face tentacle semantics
Sandwiches (again)
The Richter family
An entirely avoidable fight
Some time-travel bullshit
Hannigan Electronics
An insecurity system
Nimrods
Things neural networks would probably do instead of murdering you
Defining traits of the Externals
Adoption, X-Factor style
Wolverine: The Long Night
NEXT EPISODE: Douglock!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
I miss when comics had dialogue on their covers! And when Emma Frost was ten feet tall. (New Warriors #10)
“Your uzi is no match for my very tall right boot!” (New Warriors #10)
If Emma’s telepathy weren’t invisible, this is exactly how viscerally violent it would look. (New Warriors #10)
Oh, Speedball – never change. Like, especially into a mopey edgelord with spikes inside his costume. (New Warriors #10)
Angelica Jones, you warm my heart. And also everything else. (New Warriors #10)
The tarot of the who now? (New Warriors #10)
You tell her, Firestar! (New Warriors #10)
Darick Robertson, you sure can draw… everything. (New Warriors #31)
Background-Cyclops is annoyed at the damned teenagers always hogging the phone line with their endless calls and their AOLs. (New Warriors #31)
Cannonball’s facial expression speaks for us all. (New Warriors #31)
Remember – neither of these women actually has flame powers! (New Warriors #31)
I bet there’s a long German word for the terror that comes from knowing you’re about to crash into your friend’s crotch at seventy miles per hour (and a second word for the terror that comes from being on the receiving end). (New Warriors #31)
Shine on, you justifiedly resentful diamond. (New Warriors #31)
That’s it. That’s the whole explanation. (New Warriors #31)
Emma Frost believes strongly in clear labels. (New Warriors #31)
I liked the yellow better, but this ain’t bad. (New Warriors #31)
In which we check in on Firestar and the New Warriors; superheroes often celebrate Bring Your Mom To The Amazon Day; Fabian Nicieza employs only the finest of lampshades; and Emma Frost still doesn’t apologize for blowing up that pony.
X-PLAINED:
Vance Astro(vik)
Penance (but not that one)
Austin Gorton’s X-Aminations
New Warriors #10
Firestar (Angelica Jones)
The New Warriors
Visual representations of invisible mutant powers
The Hellions (more) (again)
Tarot and her Morrisonian powers
Bevatrons
Oxy-cution
The inevitably increasing complexity of superhero origins
The Miracle of Microwaves
New Warriors #31
Nova Roma
Magma (Amara Aquilla) (or Allison Crestmere, I guess)
A brief and futile attempt at Roman soldier disambiguation
Empath and his large collection of red flags
Gender-based intuition
A massive, stupid, and quickly undone retcon
Super-nature versus super-nurture
The hypothetical psychological roots of Emma Frost’s fashion phases
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor finally makes it to Genosha!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and coffee mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which we find the idea of Jack Kirby as G-d deeply comforting; “Jercules” is our new favorite insult; the difference between camp and divinity is good backlighting; Zeus does not have the moral high ground; Ron Lim’s Captain Britain is the definitive cad; the Demon Druid is the saddest supervillain; Archangel broods like it’s his day job; and Jay gets to do all the fun voices for once.
X-PLAINED:
The Upstarts
An inflatable Batman
New Mutants #81
Excalibur #20
X-Factor #47
Our favorite Magma story
The best insult
Pugilistic impunity
A context-inappropriate oath
The worst film festival
Fighting fire with Magma
The Demon Druid
A Satanic pirate tavern
Reactorhenge
The depths of fuchsia
Archangel’s deeply weird comfort mechanisms
Some dude named Greg
Publishing delays
NEXT WEEK: Lady Mandarin, feat. Sarah Kuhn
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
