excalibur – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 505 – The Amulet of Ass

November 9, 2025 Miles One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Excalibur volume 2! But actually more like Captain Britain volume 2. (Excalibur #1)

Pretty sure we’ve all had that dream. (Excalibur #1)

What a sciencey science machine that is! (Excalibur #1)

You’d think Betsy’s face tattoo would remind Brian of the Crimson Dawn… But honestly, who remembers the Crimson Dawn? (Excalibur #1)

Where’s Waldo? (Or, this being a British story: Where’s Wally?) (Excalibur #1)

Some friend. (Excalibur #1)

Captain UK’s mullet remains sweet. (Excalibur #1)

Hi, Crusader X! (Excalibur #2)

Meggan didn’t get the memo that this was a crotch-first mission. (Excalibur #2)

…as played by Viggo Mortensen. (Excalibur #2)

I do love a good Team Hero pose. (Excalibur #2)

“It’s… probably one of these things on my back… Hang on…” (Excalibur #2)

The Brit-Cave! (Excalibur #2)

Subtlety! (Excalibur #3)

The greatest hero in history, chosen primarily for his… sperm? (Excalibur #3)

“Not, like, literally Excalibur. That thing’s in the next room.” (Excalibur #3)

An evil science machine! (Excalibur #3)

You guys used to be cuter. And less murderous. (Excalibur #3)

Gahhh, this panel is referencing a specific past panel from a specific past comic, but we can’t remember which! (Excalibur #3)

Sword of Omens, grant me sight beyond sight! (Excalibur #3)

Best trope best trope! (Excalibur #4)

Mastermind wields the blade Excalibur! Brian Braddock wields an especially dangerous word balloon! (Excalibur #4)

With the powers of elemental magic, telekinesis, and… sword! (Excalibur #4)

It works way better to sacrifice your queen when your queen is immune to death. (Excalibur #4)

“Hey, I liked my spikes, ya jerk!” (Excalibur #4)

The chamber would be filled with old familiar faces, but they’re all dead. (Excalibur #4)

…and no one ever spoke of this again. (Excalibur #4)

NEXT TIME: Rachel Summers is back!

505 – The Amulet of Ass

November 9, 2025 Jay 7 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Widget takes a heel turn; there is some confusion over sword identification; we appreciate Sir Benedict of the Falls; the Braddock family has a lot going on; and Otherworld changes hands.

X-PLAINED:

Names for flying horses
Excalibur (2001 miniseries) #1-4
Captain Britain (Brian Braddock) (briefly) (again)
The Black Knight (Dane Whitman)
Darkmoor Research Facility
Sword and amulet distribution
Strider the Horse
Why all the horses of Asgard have Tolkien names
Sir Benedict of the Falls and his many axes
One way to win a bridge fight
Sword pops
Several continuity errors
Holographic James Braddock
The Dad Cave
Otherworld eugenecists
A coronation
A twist
Some potential X-Factor lineups
Life expectancies of mutants with healing factors

NEXT EPISODE: Cable fights some guys.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 456 – Until/Unless

July 24, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Techno-organic cover #1! (Uncanny X-Men #371)

Cheer up, Chuck – it’s just naptime at your school! I guess they all forgot their red and blue mats. (Uncanny X-Men #371)

I’m not so sure about this plot development, but… she’s just so happy! (Uncanny X-Men #371)

Hey, don’t judge: you look way grosser under your outer layer. (Uncanny X-Men #371)

“Dis was not in Gambit’s horoscope!” (Uncanny X-Men #371)

The Phalanx Covenant by Doctor Seuss. (Uncanny X-Men #371)

Techno-organic cover #2! (X-Men #91)

Take that, Billy G! You know what you did. (X-Men #91)

I love these weird faces and terrifying bone-trees! (X-Men #91)

Oof, brutal. (But nice dress, Rogue!) (X-Men #91)

URRKK indeed! (X-Men #91)

And for one panel, we were joined by the spirit of Bill Sienkiewicz. (X-Men #91)

Techno-organic cover #3! Yep, that’s Colossus’s arm from the last cover – we didn’t realize they connected until our listener Alex pointed it out on the blog! (X-Men Annual 1999)

This montage is way more efficient at describing continuity than our podcast. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Colonel Nicholas J. Fury, leading with guns and crotch. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Red Skull loves the Power Glove. It’s so bad. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Miles learned about the field of neurosurgery’s Thumbtack Technique back in college. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Go, Gadget, Go! (X-Men Annual 1999)

Yes, we know Douglock’s robo-suspenders started out as a miscoloring of his New Mutants uniform, but… they kinda work? (X-Men Annual 1999)

None of these new series will make it past a year. (X-Men Annual 1999)

NEXT TIME: Cecilia’s back!

456 – Until/Unless

July 21, 2024 Miles 3 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which there’s nothing inherently wrong with monster-of-the-week; Marrow’s makeover extends to her font; Red Skull gets a Power Glove; Marvel sets up a slate of spinoffs; and you should hire Matt Hunter to produce your podcast!

X-PLAINED:

What Danger’s been up to lately
Uncanny X-Men #371
X-Men #91
X-Men Annual 1999
Crossover cover design
Skrullverine
Machine Man
Dethlok vs. Dethklok
Jack Truman (Agent 18) (to some extent)
A nice dress
An awkward reunion
Gambit as a mentor
Billy G.
A daring but silly rescue
Several upcoming series
Marrow’s bone bikini and/or pubes
Whether Rogue can absorb animals

NEXT EPISODE: Cecilia Reyes returns from retirement!

Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

433 – Looking Back at Looking Back

December 10, 2023 Jay 10 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we take a retrospective look at X-Factor and Excalibur: where the series began, where they went, and what’s in store after the ends of their first volumes.

X-PLAINED:

What Rictor’s been up to
X-Factor
Excalibur

NEXT EPISODE: A Corbeau cameo!

The visual companion to this episode is scattered through the last eight years of visual companions, mostly under the X-Factor and Excalibur tags.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 423 – Moby Dick Ice Cream

September 10, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Probably not even the fanciest trash can on Muir Island. (Excalibur #121)

She’s fun. (Excalibur #121)

It’s no SMEK, but it’ll do.

What’s doubly interesting about this is that David’s personality isn’t actually there. (Excalibur #121)

And off they go. (Excalibur #121)

Hmm. (Excalibur #122)

That’s a lot of hair. (Excalibur #122)

Spoiler: Not actually the X-Men. (Excalibur #122)

The Mimic and his beard. (Excalibur #122)

The sound of love. (Excalibur #122)

Aw, those wacky kids. (Excalibur #123)

The now-beardless Mimic. (Excalibur #123)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor explodes.

423 – Moby Dick Ice Cream

September 10, 2023 Jay 6 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which subtlety is not Sabra’s strong point; Moira takes a vacation; Meggan broods; you should take care in referencing the Dark Phoenix Saga; Excalibur may or may not shave Mimic; and Captain Britain is a silly man.

X-PLAINED:

Ghosts
Excalibur #121-123
The Mutant Underground
Empathic recon
An extremely disgruntled kiss
Kitty’s new costume
Several of Legion’s personalities
A mysterious disk
A very fancy trash can and/or ice cream maker
Ice cream of Cloud City
A good dog
Remains of Operation Zero Tolerance
The devolution of Douglock
Mimic (Calvin Rankin)
Mimic’s facial hair
Some Prime Sentinels
Wedding planning
Liking parts of things
Villains who want to marry Storm
Maddy Pryor

NEXT EPISODE: The end of X-Factor!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 416 – The Screaming Room

July 16, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Okay, but it’s pretty fucking creepy as a toy, too. (Excalibur #118)

Aaaaand there he goes. (Excalibur #118)

Meanwhile in AWESOME. (Excalibur #118)

Oh, THAT guy. (Excalibur #118)

Nightcrawler’s nightmare. (Excalibur #119)

Colossus’s nightmare. (Excalibur #119)

Shadowcat’s nightmare. (Excalibur #119)

Douglock’s nightmare. (Excalibur #119)

Meggan’s nightmare, featuring a whole lot of great cameos! (Excalibur #119)

I’m not a smoker, but I wanna learn to blow smoke rings like that. (Excalibur #119)

Ouch. (Excalibur #120)

NEXT EPISODE: Why, indeed.

416 – The Screaming Room

July 2, 2023 Jay 7 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we are incapable of X-Plaining the Great Lakes Avengers; Pete Wisdom evolves; Douglock hacks the island; Nightcrawler cosplays Nightcrawler; and we find ourselves bafflingly defensive of the Bamfs.

X-PLAINED:

How to recruit Unus the Untouchable to your super-team
What Excalibur has been up to
Excalibur #118-120
An excellent use of danger room technology
Some fairly deft metacommentary
Colossus vs. another tree
Bamfs and the character assassination thereof
Nightmare
Characterization via lettering
Several nightmare scenarios
Pete Wisdom vs. Nightmare
Meggan’s true form (again)
A poorly conceived romantic gesture
Foreshadowing
Relative Bamf quality
Other Marvel villains we’d like to see menace the X-Men
Our thoughts on Legion and The Gifted

NEXT EPISODE: A pterodactyl with a gun!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!