Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: future

As Mentioned in Episode 531 – Here Comes Tomorrow

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Please enjoy this loving rendering of Wolverine’s ass. (New X-Men #151)
Meet the ‘Crawlers. (New X-Men #151)
Rover is a good boy. (New X-Men #151)
I really have trouble buying this as E.V.A.(New X-Men #151)
Do you know how long he had to grind for that belt? (New X-Men #151)
Meet Tito Bohusk, sexy hawk. (New X-Men #151)
The Stepford Cuckoos, all grown up. (New X-Men #151)
Wow, Emma. Wow. (New X-Men #152)
The Proud People, who absolutely deserve their own miniseries. (New X-Men #152)
Apollyon is totally That Guy. (New X-Men #152)
Goth team-up! (New X-Men #152)
A great illustration of the power of lettering. (New X-Men #152)
Wolverine poses dramatically. (New X-Men #152)
Wolverine poses dramatically.(New X-Men #152)
Everyone poses dramatically. (New X-Men #152)
…the fuck?!(New X-Men #152)
The Terminds. Don’t get too attached. (New X-Men #153)
They have fun. (New X-Men #153)
Yeah, valid. (New X-Men #153)
I love him.(New X-Men #153)
Didn’t see that team-up coming. (New X-Men #153)
Rover, NOOOOOO!(New X-Men #153)
Wolverine poses dramatically. (New X-Men #153)
Sublime X-Plains Sublime. (New X-Men #154)
The secondary colors of evil science. (New X-Men #154)
Hot Topic Phoenix. (New X-Men #154)
Wolverine X-plains the last century and a half. (New X-Men #154)
The end of the Stepford Cuckoos. (New X-Men #154)
Beast takes a turn posing dramatically. (New X-Men #154)
Phoenix night at the club. (New X-Men #154)
Only departure from the status quo can save the universe. (New X-Men #154)
NEXT EPISODE: The End.

 

531 – Here Comes Tomorrow

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which we wrap up the continuity portion of the podcast along with our coverage of Grant Morrison’s New X-Men; Wolverine poses dramatically; Cyclops breaks the timeline; Wolverine poses dramatically; we are deeply intrigued by Brian and his magic car; Wolverine poses dramatically; Sublime extends his reach; Phoenix heals the timeline; Wolverine poses dramatically; change is important; and somewhere Wolverine is probably still posing dramatically.

X-PLAINED:

  • X of Swords (somewhat)
  • Endings
  • Varying opinions on the same art
  • Earth-15104
  • ‘Crawlers
  • Tom Skylark
  • Rover (in several media)
  • The Beast (Hank McCoy) (sort of)
  • The evolution of EVA
  • An evocative quotation
  • Several recognizable oracles
  • Where the timeline broke
  • The Proud People
  • Apollyon the Destroyer
  • Mer-Max
  • A somewhat robotic love triangle
  • Tito Bohusk
  • How to hatch a Phoenix egg
  • The White Hot Room
  • The Termids
  • Several atrocities
  • An unfortunate costume choice
  • John Sublime (for real this time)
  • Yet another origin of life on Earth
  • Evil science
  • Kick (more) (again)
  • Weapon XIV
  • The X-Men’s last stand
  • An unlikely Phoenix host
  • Breaking cycles
  • Aspects of Earth-15104 we’d like to see explored further
  • Where we’d conclude the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: The end.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 340 – Retconaganda

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(Press the “i” icon in the bottom-right to see captions in the gallery. It’s a known WordPress bug we’re still looking for a way around!)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Welcome to the X.S.E., where moral ambiguity goes to die. (X.S.E. #1)
The villains in this series are exceptionally one-note even by comics standards. (X.S.E. #1)
I still can’t figure out what’s happening with the purple garment that Bishop and possibly also his grandmother are wearing. (X.S.E. #1)
Bishop has basically always been the same dude. (X.S.E. #1)
Hey, it’s Malcolm… (X.S.E. #2)
…and Randall! (X.S.E. #2)
I know the balloon at the top technically goes with the panel above, but it really looks like Fitzroy is just reciting his own name like a Pokémon. (X.S.E. #3)
De Witness. (X.S.E. #4)
Shackle’s costume is somewhat improbable. (X.S.E. #4)

340 – Retconaganda

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the X.S.E. miniseries is future copaganda; Earth-1191 has no room for moral ambiguity; Bishop pulls a Marty McFly; Malcolm and Randall get distinct personalities; and you really shouldn’t give officers a symbol of authority that there’s no way to revoke.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some of Bishop’s further adventures
  • X.S.E. #1-4
  • The future, sort of
  • Earth-1191 (more) (again)
  • The X.S.E. (more) (again)
  • Lucas Bishop (more) (again)
  • Shard Bishop (more) (again)
  • Grandmother (who may or may not be Storm)
  • Hancock (who may or may not be Cyclops)
  • The deeply baffling Bishop family tree
  • The fallability of childhood memory
  • Exhumes
  • Dubious reclamation
  • Heca’te
  • The Witness (more) (again)
  • Trevor Fitzroy (more) (again)
  • Several potential continuity errors
  • Malcolm and Randall (more) (again)
  • Emplates
  • Shirley
  • Mexican-American mutants
  • A cross-media quote

NEXT EPISODE: The return of Carl the X-Cutioner

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 212 – Drumbeats of Despair

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
(Actually, it’s part of a triptych! Here are all three, together at last!)
Damnit, Stryfe. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Ew. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Including this entirely for Archangel’s epic grumpy face. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Alas, the podcast JY & Miles X-Plain the X-Men won’t exist for another 23 years. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Say what you will about Scott and Jean, but they’re aware of their own cliches. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Of course. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
The number of unsettling ways in which X-artists can mess up drawing babies never ceases to impress. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
“Also, sorry ’bout your table.” (Uncanny X-Men #296)
“Remember,” said the editor, “Every comic is somebody’s first!” (X-Factor #86)
Seriously, though, that could not get more Patrick Nagel if Patrick Nagel had drawn it. (X-Factor #86)
“AND I’LL BE THE HEAD!” (X-Factor #86)
THIS. PAGE. (X-Factor #86)
No, not particularly. (X-Factor #86)
Seriously: Ew. (X-Factor #86)
“Eh, I got nowhere else to be.” (X-Factor #86)
They’re so enormous and heavily armed! (X-Men #16)
Aw, man, this is a really good heroic moment. (X-Men #16)
WHOOPS. (X-Men #16)
Well, that’s portentous. (X-Men #16)
Stryfe’s tirades remain an impressive mix of incredibly specific and frustratingly vague. (X-Force #18)
Possibly the most Stryfe line of the entire event. (X-Force #18)
Dang, Cable. (X-Force #18)
“Like, organs and stuff.” (X-Force #18)
I’d like to think that Stryfe is angriest about the pun. (X-Force #18)
SPOILER: He’ll be okay, at least by Cable standards. (X-Force #18)
Maybe it’s a universal remote! SERIOUSLY, CYCLOPS, I KNOW YOU WERE RECENTLY DEPRIVED OF OXYGEN, BUT IT’S VERY CLEARLY A DETONATOR. (X-Force #18)
Ouch. (X-Force #18)
NEXT EPISODE: Live from FlameCon, featuring Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams!

LINKS & FURTHER MISHAPS:

212 – Drumbeats of Despair: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 3 or 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which nobody but Stryfe’s diary understands him; Apocalypse is the best at what he does (and what he does is remarkably versatile); Scott and Jean weaponize their clichés; Jae Lee does his best Patrick Nagel; Apocalypse is poisonous; Cable goes full T-800; nothing good ever happens to Cyclops on the moon; Stryfe dies as passive-aggressively as he lived; and X-Cutioner’s Song finally concludes.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Cable dies
  • The Story So Far
  • Still more trading-card taxonomy
  • Uncanny X-Men #296
  • X-Factor #86
  • X-Men #16
  • X-Force #18
  • An AU we’d like to read
  • The not-Stüssy S
  • How to effectively reference X-Men #137
  • A decoy baby
  • An abortive escape
  • Moon gravity
  • Revelatory vandalism
  • A trip to the moon
  • A probably excessive number of hawk facts
  • Various daring rescues
  • How to kill time in space
  • Cathexes
  • A very fancy moon base
  • The cavalry, kind of
  • Stryfe vs. Cable
  • An X-Cellent epilogue
  • Several Silent Hill 2 references
  • Stryfe’s Legacy
  • Pawnee, Indiana vs. Marvel
  • Sexy high-security prisons of the future

NEXT EPISODE: Live from FlameCon, featuring Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams!

Special thanks to Matt for the subject of this episode’s cold open; and to the Protomen for use of their cover of “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 193 – Sewers of Tomorrow

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
On one hand: These dudes are pretty rad. On the other hand: being able to detect normal humans is a pretty ridiculous mutant power. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
John Romita, Jr. can be hit-or-miss, but he definitely draws some rad miscreants of the future. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
WOMP. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Compulsory Fitzroy Hair Appreciation Moment(TM). (Uncanny X-Men #277)
The Witness, in all his really creepy glory. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Can you imagine trying to have a conversation with this dude? (Uncanny X-Men #277)
I don’t understand what’s happening with Cyclops’s torso; and, frankly, I don’t want to. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
“Look! A distraction!” (Uncanny X-Men #278)
The first appearance of the letter… (Uncanny X-Men #278)
…and the second, FROM THE SAME FLIPPIN’ PAGE. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Thaaaaat’s our Archangel! (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Can confirm. -Jay (Uncanny X-Men #278)
*Today, at least. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Long Island cops are clearly unfamiliar with Cyburai. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Mystique is exceptionally bad at helping. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Damnit, Forge. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Storm’s reaction is appropriate. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Bobby. Have you MET your parents? (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Best. Date. Ever. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Remember that time Mikhail Rasputin turned a random skater into a tree? Because that certainly happened. (Uncanny X-Men #280)
Hanging out naked in the rain? This dude is DEFINITELY learning the ropes from Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #280)
DAMNIT, Forge. (Uncanny X-Men #280)
NEXT EPISODE: Brood trouble in the Big Easy!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

193 – Sewers of Tomorrow

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we pour one out for Malcolm and Randall; Cyclops is the worst at fun; Storm is better than you and always will be; Bishop forgets his first name; the X-Men can’t tie bow ties; Iceman’s dad is spectacularly awful; Mikhail Rasputin may have some lingering issues; and Doug Ramsey would probably have been pretty entertained by Hackers if he had survived long enough to see it.

X-PLAINED:

  • Whether Professor Xavier is dead
  • Marvel time vs. podcast time
  • Uncanny X-Men #287-290
  • The Wit and Wisdom of Henry McCoy
  • A dance of death and destruction
  • Styglut
  • Future flashbacks
  • Sewers of tomorrow
  • The Witness
  • “Fun”
  • Blood math
  • A mysterious letter
  • A terrible date
  • Several capes
  • The return of the cyburai
  • A theoretical Hackers crossover

NEXT EPISODE: Brood trouble in the Big Easy!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)