Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: gambit

As Mentioned in Episode 158 – No Focus, Less Direction

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“Oh, like THAT’s a big deal or something.” (Uncanny X-Men #273)
That’s a lot of X-Men. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Bobby, you incorrigible scamp! Way to EXPLODE THE PIPES IN THE SOLE BATHROOM SHARED BY EIGHTEEN PEOPLE. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
The original creative teams will be played by Storm in this panel. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Awk-ward. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Telekinetics don’t need shower curtains. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
We unironically adore this ridiculous pair of panels. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
This is a lot creepier if you remember that the Shadow King took over Jean permanently in one of the earths Excalibur visited… (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Meanwhile, in the sexy, sexy Savage Land… (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Between the art and the cascade of dramatic Magneto captions, this splash kinda encapsulates the whole arc. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Whoa. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
To be fair, that was always a really iffy battle tactic. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
“Also, am I imagining the sudden switch to romance comic framing?” (Uncanny X-Men #274)
No one gets dressed more dramatically than Magneto. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Zaladane: boring as hell, but damn does she know how to dress! (Uncanny X-Men #274)
That’s prudent, I suppose, for a certain value of the term. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Please note that:
A) Ka-Zar is calling Rogue “Red” despite the fact that her hair is clearly brown.
B) A mostly-naked man and his tiger buddy are clearly not REMOTELY the weirdest things those S.H.I.E.L.D. troops have shared a transport with.
(Uncanny X-Men #275)
It sure is 1991. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Every goddamn time. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Where’s an editorial footnote when you actually need one? (Oh, fine, I’ll do it: See Classic X-Men #12 and #19, respectively! -Jaded Jay) (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Well, that’s convenient timing! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Murder is negotiable, but frontal nudity? NEVER. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
NEXT WEEK: The end of New Mutants!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING
 

158 – No Focus, Less Direction

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

 

In which we return triumphant from hiatus; it’s still always Inferno in here; no one should ever under any circumstances date Cameron Hodge; Kenneth is a fundamentally hilarious name; Magneto’s family gets retconned to death; Pterosaurs are still the absolute worst; and Magik totally deserves a sidekick.

X-PLAINED:

  • Ka-Zar’s real name
  • Shanna the She-Devil
  • Our new production set-up
  • What we did on our summer vacations
  • Previously on X-Men
  • Further limits of the mutant metaphor
  • Uncanny X-Men #273-275
  • A crisis of leadership
  • A comic that is a metaphor that is also a comic
  • Cable’s OkCupid profile
  • Changing creative dynamics on the X-line
  • Archangel’s middle name
  • Gambit vs. Wolverine
  • Censorship Steam
  • The protean X-bathroom
  • Magneto’s retconned family
  • Colonel Semyanov
  • A perhaps ill-conceived team-up
  • The Self-Styled Mistress of Magnetism
  • Some remarkably lucky timing
  • The semantics of heel turns
  • Gender and sidekicks
  • Mr. Sinister’s powers

NEXT EPISODE: The end of New Mutants!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 145 – Remy & ‘Ro

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at RedBubble, or contact David to purchase the original!
This will be important later. Much later. (Uncanny X-Men #265)
“If only there were some sort of… dangerous… room in which to train! (Uncanny X-Men #265)
Man, dig that body language. Lots of folks forget that the Orphan-Maker is a kid – not Bill Jaaska. (Uncanny X-Men #265)
The Shadow King is the worst, but his Jacob Reisz incarnation is extra-the-worst. (Uncanny X-Men #265)
“Dad, you grew a beard! Mom, you grew a OH DEAR GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT” (Uncanny X-Men #265)
When life gives you amnesia-lemons, make thievery-lemonade! (Uncanny X-Men #265)
Seriously: Extra The Worst. (Uncanny X-Men #265)
Storm commands the lightning and the storm and the wet towel right in your face! (Uncanny X-Men #266)
It’s kind of arbitrary that the Shadow King and Storm are nemeses, but damn if it doesn’t completely work. (Uncanny X-Men #266)
Hey, it’s Gambit’s first full panel! “Who is that mysterious and surprisingly colorful man?” (Uncanny X-Men #266)
Gambit’s powers used to work a little differently. Well, for one issue, anyway – the whole eyes-and-spikes thing will be mostly gone by next time. (Uncanny X-Men #266)
This, for the record, is the speech that Evil Lian Shen sees as being full of innuendo. (Uncanny X-Men #266)
I knew you’d been together for a long time, Mystique and Destiny, but I didn’t know that you were SUPER HOT. (Uncanny X-Men #266)
Any scene involving Mystique: exactly as it seems, of course. (Uncanny X-Men #266)
Suddenly, Jim Lee! (Uncanny X-Men #267)
Gambit’s too good for panel borders. (Uncanny X-Men #267)
Okay, that’s legitimately charming. (Uncanny X-Men #267)
I would read an entire series about what happens on this page. (Uncanny X-Men #267)
Ororo Munroe: badass at any age. (Uncanny X-Men #267)
Robot-suit fight! (Uncanny X-Men #267)
*triumphant wailing guitars* (Uncanny X-Men #267)
Next time: Excalibur meanders.

145 – Remy and ‘Ro

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Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at RedBubble, or contact David to purchase the original!

In which Val Cooper remains the club queen of U.S. Intelligence; the Shadow King is a huge jerk; Storm is a badass at any age; Gambit gets off to a surprisingly good start; “flesh and spirit” is the new “body and soul”; and we are guardedly optimistic about an upcoming release.

X-PLAINED:
  • Unconventional evidence of nefarious influence
  • Uncanny X-Men #265-267
  • Storm’s early origins
  • The Shadow King
  • Deb Levin
  • A kind of pointless revenge plot
  • Trouble in space
  • A great deal of larceny
  • Counterintuitive costuming
  • The debut of Gambit
  • An unnecessarily complicated plan
  • Charm, and charm
  • Regrets
  • Our thoughts on the upcoming Legion series

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur meanders, with guest X-Pert Elisabeth Allie!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

121 – Two Sides of a Narcissistic Coin (feat. Ben Acker)

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Art by David Wynne.
Art by David Wynne.

In which Jay may or may not have sold their voice to a sea witch; Gambit and Deadpool are somewhat lackadaisical superheroes; everything Fat Cobra does is amazing; Miles is a prepared gentleman; Gambit is there to look pretty and throw something; and there is now a Ben Acker vocaloid hovering around the studio.

X-PLAINED:

  • Acker & Blacker
  • Thrilling Adventure Hour
  • X-Men #214, but not the real one
  • Deadpool v. Gambit
  • As-needed approach to continuity
  • The ontology of Deadpool
  • The time the Absorbing Man turned into cocaine
  • Wolverine Season One
  • What makes Gambit creepy
  • The roadtrip miniseries you didn’t know you needed
  • A theoretical poker game and its theoretical outcome

NEXT EPISODE: Atlantis Attacks!

There is no visual companion to this episode! Go read Deadpool v. Gambit! It’s great!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Contact David Wynne to inquire after the original of this week’s illustration.

As Mentioned in Episode 91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
The vaguely slapstick motifs in this story somehow make it even sadder. (New Mutants #64)
And it really only gets more depressing from here. (New Mutants #64)
No, seriously. (New Mutants #64)
Everything is terrible forever. (New Mutants #64)
=( (New Mutants #64)
Yeah, we do not have a sassy caption for this. Sorry. (New Mutants #64)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #64)
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
Harder than fighting Sentinels, apparently. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“It’s four hours of me, a vacuum cleaner, and a theremin.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
The X-Men take costume parties REALLY DAMN SERIOUSLY. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“Also, that is literally one of the only two non-uniform outfits you own.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
How not to lay out a page for coherent reading order. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
SO THEN THAT HAPPENED. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
And they all lived happily ever after. THE END! (But Doug Ramsey was still dead.) (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)

91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which New Mutants #64 is the saddest single issue of any X-book ever; the New Mutants have to grow up fast; Warlock comes to terms with mortality; The Last of Us is harder to play the second time; Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade is delightfully unhinged; animated Cyclops is totally the worst; Beast probably has a terrible garage band; Jean starts a kitchen fire; and Wolverine saves Jubilee’s birthday.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • The saddest issue ever
  • New Mutants #64
  • The only okay way to watch Grave of the Fireflies
  • The aftermath of Doug Ramsey’s death
  • Several unhealthy coping mechanisms
  • The Last of Us
  • Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade
  • Some varyingly impressive costumes
  • General irresponsibility
  • Why Wolverine is wearing a clown suit
  • Douglock
  • The New Mutants’ D&D alignments

NEXT WEEK: You never forget your first Ship.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 83 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/22/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
It is reasonably appropriate to judge this book by its cover. (X-Men Annual #3)
Spot the references. (X-Men Annual #3)
ARKON THE MAGNIFICENT! (X-Men Annual #3)
I guess when your job is cleaning up after Tony Stark, the existential hellscape of Funky Winkerbean starts to feel like a vacation. (X-Men Annual #3)
DON’T TOUCH THE HAIR! (X-Men Annual #3)
You’d think the Danger Room would have ANY KIND OF REMOTELY FUNCTIONAL SAFETY PROTOCOLS BY NOW, but no. (X-Men Annual #3)
The art makes a really, really good counterpoint to the conversation in these panels. (X-Men Annual #3)
Cyclops encouraging other characters to talk about their feelings: NEVER NOT FUNNY. (X-Men Annual #3)
Don’t forget to watch TV, kids! You never know when it’ll come in handy! (X-Men Annual #3)
The best thing about this panel is Wolverine’s understated “Geez.” (X-Men Annual #3)
“I mean, look, there’s a really good chance we’re just going to straight-up explode.” (X-Men Annual #3)
Starman #4 is about a Hawaiian shirt that is a gateway to heaven. In related news, you should all go read Starman RIGHT NOW, because it is WONDERFUL.
If you’re not hearing Queen in your head right now, I don’t really understand you. (X-Men Annual #3)
Things that are not awesome about this fight panel: NONE OF THEM. (X-Men Annual #3)
SHE’LL SAVE EVERY ONE OF US! (X-Men Annual #3)
“Oh, y’know, just stole a dragon from some flying commandos. No big deal.” (X-Men Annual #3)
This planet sucks. (X-Men Annual #3)
Wolverine, that’s not… y’know what? Never mind. (X-Men Annual #3)
I’m pretty sure that no writer will ever reference this again. (X-Men Annual #3)
“Well, that, or the colorist forgot to make it red, which also happens sometimes.” (X-Men Annual #3)
Somewhere in the multiverse, there’s a universe where the X-Men went, “Fuck it. Let’s just go be space barbarians.” (X-Men Annual #3)
NEXT WEEK: This jerk.

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

83 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival

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1_Arkon
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/22/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which we travel back in time to 1979 for our second live convention special; X-Men Annual #3 desperately needs a Queen soundtrack; George Perez draws great Banshee; Polemachus is kind of a bullshit planet; we dream of a world without Funky Winkerbean; Cyclops’s costume does not mix and match well; if you can be someone else, you should probably be Brian Blessed; Colossus gets a dragon; and Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival is awesome.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-misadventures in Las Vegas
  • X-Men Annual #3
  • Arkon the Magnificent
  • Isadore and Irmagarde Uhman
  • The Comical Books
  • Polemachus the planet vs. Polemachus the person
  • Funky Winkerbean
  • Several logistical problems with the Danger Room
  • MVP Cyclops
  • Some very good visual counterpoint to dialogue
  • Paperboard lightning bolt disambiguation
  • Jay’s favorite Starman story
  • X-title and music pairings
  • Imperions
  • Visual perspective in grand melees
  • How to order a meal on Polemachus
  • One specific variation on Cyclops’s powers
  • The X-Men as Spinal Tap
  • Space-barbarian eyewear
  • The annual cabinet
  • The most appropriate X-team placement for Funky Winkerbean
  • Best worst characters
  • Our favorite X-Force teams
  • Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts

NEXT WEEK: Somehow, Cameron Hodge manages to get even worse.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Halloween X – 2015

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As is our annual tradition, we put out a last-minute call on Twitter for pictures of your X-Men Halloween costumes, and dang are you a stylish bunch! Check out the full roundup–along with some really spectacular jack-o’-lanterns–below!

@kissmyrice specified that she is nice Emma Frost, not the one who’ll blow up your pony without a second thought.
The new X-kids never get enough love, so we were super psyched to see @MutantAnomaly‘s kickass Nature Girl!
@speedheart takes Ororo’s rebellious phase in a different direction with Storm: The College Years!
Speaking of X-Men who don’t get nearly enough cosplay love, check out the always-awesome @Elana_Brooklyn and her husband as Siryn and Forge!
@Elana_Brooklyn tells us that the costumes were for an X-themed party, which–appropriately–involved at least one awkward family reunion!
@galaxytravelin‘s stylin’ Skids makes us SO happy.
@JeffLoveness, who wrote one of our favorite Cyclops stories of the past year, is NOT throwing away his shot as Hamilclops. (Alas, Loveness tells us there was no Burrverine. Maybe next year!)
Not only did @rememberyhorsenail Quentin Quire’s signature look, but he’s got the glare down to a science!
@punkerthanthou (as Cyclops, appropriately!) organized this kickass X-group!
A Phoenix jack-o’-lantern where the firebird aura is actual fire? Yes, please, @eisoj5!
Another really spectacular use of the medium–and the best Cyclops costume–from @half_panda22!
There are better pictures of our costumes (Wirt from Over the Garden Wall, and Speed Racer, respectively), but we couldn’t resist the accidental glowing red eyes in this one.

ETA: I know I missed a handful–and a few came in after the post was done–so if you’ve got an X-costume that’s NOT here, please drop a link in the comments below!