Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Guido Carosella

283 – Legion Quest Quest

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay is writing a Cyclops one-shot; It is honestly truly almost Legion Quest; Mystique plays the long game; sometimes filler is a good thing; Havok is a geophysicist, not a geographer; Lila definitely stole it; and more stories should be set in space junkyards.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Betsy Braddock got her original body back
  • Marvel Snapshots: X-Men
  • The lead-up to Legion Quest
  • X-Factor #108-111
  • Mystique’s skill set
  • Legion (David Haller) (more) (again)
  • Freedom Force
  • The most powerful of devices
  • A dream about a dream
  • An intersection of unreliable narrators
  • The narrative justification for Legion Quest
  • A rock monster
  • Jornick
  • Lila Cheney (more) (again)
  • A Kurt Vonnegut reference
  • The K’Lanti
  • A space junkyard
  • The end of X-Factor’s second iconic era
  • Our favorite male/female X-friendships
  • Pros and cons of line cohesiveness

NEXT EPISODE: Chip Zdarsky!

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As Mentioned in Episode 275 – End of the Summer

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
HI, PROSH. (X-Force #39)
Look at this charming weirdo. (X-Force #39)
You see what I mean about the frolicking? (X-Force #39)
Damn skippy! (X-Force #39)
Well, that can’t be good. (X-Force #39)
I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (X-Force #39)
This whole issue has a very Looney Toons vibe. (X-Factor #107)
It’s good that they can find common ground. (X-Factor #107)
Gravity: she’s a harsh mistress. (X-Factor #107)
Again: I really love the way the art here leans into Strong Guy’s inherent cartoonishness. (X-Factor #107)
Ouch. (X-Factor #107)
That cover! (Uncanny X-Men #318)
The choker really does seem to have an extra layer of symbolism, especially considering the color vs. the rest of her outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
You tried, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
Serious X-Terminators vibes, right? (Uncanny X-Men #318)
“But, y’know, good luck with that.” (Uncanny X-Men #318)
She’s not wrong, Warren. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
…it works, though. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy!

LINKS & FURTHER CRYPTIDS:

275 – End of the Summer

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Professor is too cool for the Phalanx; fatphobia is significantly more dangerous than Fred Dukes; Strong Guy catches a plane; Emma Frost will not let you coast; Jubilee says goodbye to the X-Men; and it’s probably for the best that we have avoided corporate advertisers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mr. M
  • Thor: Metal Gods
  • Ship (more) (again)
  • The Phalanx vs. the Borg
  • Several cover homages
  • X-Force #39
  • X-Factor #107
  • Uncanny X-Men #318
  • Prosh
  • The myriad delights of embodiment
  • A complex theory about Leprechauns
  • Benefits of single-issue stories
  • Strong Guy vs. the Blob
  • Strong Guy vs. Gravity
  • Strong Guy vs. an airplane
  • Strong Guy vs. biology
  • Several explosions
  • The kids of Generation X
  • Deluxe-format comics
  • The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
  • Goodbyes
  • Dazzler’s relative immortality
  • Jay’s X-Men Happy Meal Toy wish list
  • How to make a page-accurate Warlock toy

NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy

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As Mentioned in Episode 272 – Children of the Phalanx

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
(X-Factor #106)
Damn skippy. (X-Factor #106)
Ew. (X-Factor #106)
Okay, the Phalanx is legitimately both cool and scary here. (X-Factor #106)
The looks on their respective faces really make this panel. (X-Factor #106)
R.I.P. (X-Factor #106)
Oh, THESE jerks. Again. (X-Factor #106)
Forge-o-Vision involves a lot of lucite rods, apparently. (X-Factor #106)
Douglock X-Plains the Phalanx. (X-Factor #106)
Spoiler: It’s all Phalanx. (X-Force #38)
My kingdom for this panel as drawn by Barry Windsor-Smith. (X-Force #38)
HE LOOKS LIKE A DINOSAUR OKAY (X-Force #38)
The Babel Spire has some serious Inferno vibes. (Excalibur #82)
Oh, yeah, this DEFINITELY ends well. (Excalibur #82)
Presenting: The stealth team. (Excalibur #82)
NEXT EPISODE: The Summers family goes rock climbing.

272 – Children of the Phalanx (the Phalanx Covenant, Part 2 of 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Ship was inside Cable all along; Life Signs is the Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant (but only in the bad ways), it’s lucky that the Phalanx doesn’t have WiFi; Nightcrawler embraces chaos; and we promise the crossover gets better next chapter.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Cable got his Ship back
  • Miles’s official stance on candy corn
  • The Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant
  • X-Factor #106
  • X-Force #38
  • Excalibur #82
  • A monastery party
  • Douglock (more) (again)
  • Forge-O-Vision
  • How Steven Lang got mixed up with the Phalanx
  • Stages of Phalanx development
  • Babel
  • Giuseppe Russo, shepherd
  • The Phalanx, but dogs
  • Shinar
  • What you get when you meet a stranger in the Alps
  • Whom we’d like to see draw the Phalanx
  • Mindwifery
  • Adulthood
  • “Stealth”
  • Where baby Phalanxes come from
  • Teamwork
  • Good stories about Hope Summers
  • What happened to Paul Bailey

NEXT EPISODE: Rock climbing with the Summers Family

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 266 – They’re Good Dogs, Miles

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)
Alex Summers, in a nutshell. I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)
SEE WHAT THEY DID, THERE? I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)
Strong Guy’s family is terrific. I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)
That said, this dude is my favorite colorful local. I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)
SOMEBODY REMEMBERED! KIND OF! I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)
And that’s why you always leave a note. I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)
Seriously, how is Polaris alive? I miss road trips. (X-Factor #104)
This cannot (and does not) possibly end well. (X-Factor #104)
He sure did that. (X-Factor #104)
And that’s how you supervillain with STYLE. (X-Factor #105)
This arc is almost enough to make us feel bad for Malice, which is a very weird sentence to type. (X-Factor #105)
NEXT EPISODE: Emma Frost goes for a joyride.

LINKS & FURTHER MEMES:

266 – They’re Good Dogs, Miles

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Havok goes surfing; Malice eats a poodle; Strong Guy’s ex is a big jerk; Sinister’s gotta Sinister; and Miles learns about a meme.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Puppet Master
  • X-Factor #103-105
  • Comparative Summers brooding
  • Perks of being a mutant geologist and/or geophysicist
  • Malice and Polaris’s complicated history
  • A somewhat convoluted plan
  • Several reasons to go to Rhinebeck, NY
  • Friendship
  • The extended Carosella family
  • Candy stripers
  • Mary, who is a big jerk
  • A Sinister entrance
  • The Nasty Boys (more) (again)
  • Karate pants
  • 14-year-old Chris Gethard’s feelings about Jamie Madrox
  • Ionic vampirism
  • Misguided vengeance
  • Pushing back against whitewashing in comics

NEXT EPISODE: Emma Frost takes a joyride

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 260 – Professor Power’s Prodigal Podcast

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Storm and Polaris: a study in contrasts. And not just the hair. (X-Factor #101)
Guido’s smile is his mask… (X-Factor #101)
…and sometimes that mask falls. (X-Factor #101)
You know how you could tell how much trouble the heroes were in on early seasons of Star Trek: Voyager by how messed up Janeway’s hair was? Havok is like that too, but with angst and stubble. (X-Factor #101)
…and plasma blasts. (X-Factor #101)
We are so, so here for Forge’s pettiness. (X-Factor #101)
Thank you, DeMatteis, for remembering to let Moira mourn too. (X-Factor #101)
You know, now that Forge has gotten over himself a little, he and Storm are a pretty great couple. (X-Factor #101)
Mutant power as metaphor. Yes please. (X-Factor #102)
Not only does Rahne have her freedom and independence back, but she also has one of the best friendships in the Marvel Universe! (X-Factor #102)
It’s the biggest character redemption for Moira MacTaggert until we find out that… eh, that’s probably a little too current to spoil. (X-Factor #102)
“Specifically, it may or may not be a PowerBook 500 series with one o’ them newfangled Ethernet ports!” (X-Factor #102)
He’s been practicing that line in the mirror for months. (X-Factor #102)
The next morning, Forge found a “#1 BOSS” coffee mug on his desk with a thank-you card from Polaris. (X-Factor #102)
God damn, Jan Duursema sure can draw a fight scene. (X-Factor #102)
Polaris has your number, Random. (X-Factor #102)
Crap crap fucky fucky (X-Factor #102)
“And I see you brought your abs!” (X-Factor Annual #9)
Half the cast may be gone, but X-Factor sure still is X-Factor. (X-Factor Annual #9)
“This is my good side, though. It is my butt. My butt is my good side.” (X-Factor Annual #9)
Man, LEGO figures got weird in the 90s. (X-Factor Annual #9)
The Shores of Oblivion feature mist, candles, and PowerPoint presentations! (X-Factor Annual #9)
“This will be much easier now that I’ve finally made it into an actual X-book!” (X-Factor Annual #9)
BOOOOO THIS PLOTLINE (X-Factor Annual #9)
Haven X-Plains Haven. (X-Factor Annual #9)
YOUR FETUS’S FACE IS FAMILIAR (X-Factor Annual #9)
Aww, Guido… (X-Factor Annual #9)
We didn’t talk about this pinup by Steve and Marianne Lightle, but it is delightful. (X-Factor Annual #9)
Not only did Miles have a partially-neon Bart Simpson shirt in the early 90s (as did the much older kid next to him), he also had a truly questionable mullet.
NEXT TIME: Live from Flame Con 2019!

260 – Professor Power’s Prodigal Podcast

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we explore the aftermath of Multiple Man’s death; X-Factor has a lot of feelings; it probably sucks to grieve with Charles Xavier; neither power nor responsibility is particularly fun; we finally find out who was trying to kill Polaris; Professor Power makes it to the big leagues; and the ‘90s were one long leg day.

X-PLAINED:

  • Vectors of Malice transmission
  • X-Factor #101-102
  • X-Factor Annual #9
  • The aftermath of Jamie Madrox’s death
  • Several ways to grieve
  • Captain Capitalism and Plucky the Girl Wonder
  • A foiled robbery
  • Several guest stars
  • Multiple Man’s Muir Island years
  • Several assassination attempts
  • Some shady government shenanigans
  • Beatrice Conners (sort of)
  • A surprisingly muscular astral projection
  • Haven’s deeply dubious origin story
  • Professor Power
  • A surprisingly muscular android
  • One way to clean a room
  • Creative uses of mutant powers
  • Top-ten lists

NEXT EPISODE: Live at FlameCon with Vita Ayala!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 252 – Snakes on a Trolley

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
TBH, this candle situation was basically how Jay decorated his room in the ’90s, too. (X-Factor #97)
“Also, the hand of orbital lasers.” (X-Factor #97)
I love this panel so much. (X-Factor #97)
SERIOUSLY THOUGH SHE HAS ORBITAL LASERS (X-Factor #97)
Spoiler: both of these dudes spend this arc being nonstop awful. (X-Factor #97)
“Antici– (X-Factor #98)
–pation!” (X-Factor #98)
Meanwhile, in a nearby Ralph Bakshi movie. (X-Factor #98)
Aw, Jamie. (X-Factor #98)
Haven’s real superpower is her AMAZING HAIR. (X-Factor #98)
Forge, fuck off. Lorna is literally the only competent member of X-Factor, including you. (X-Factor #99)
The snake shoes, in all their structurally questionable glory! (X-Factor #99)
Aw, Rahne. (X-Factor #99)
Aw, Rahne! (X-Factor #99)
I feel vaguely that I should be making a “what does G-d need with a starship” joke here, but frankly, Star Trek V doesn’t deserve the nod. (X-Factor #100)
Don’t tell them that. Never tell them that. (X-Factor #100)
You see what I mean about the captions, though, right? (X-Factor #100)
This is basically Jay’s morning routine. (X-Factor #100)
Aw, Jamie. (X-Factor #100)
It’s okay; he’ll be back eventually, mostly, probably. (X-Factor #100)
And now, an out-of-context infomercial-style tag! (X-Factor #100)
NEXT EPISODE: Haven’t we been here before?

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