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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

TBH, this candle situation was basically how Jay decorated his room in the ’90s, too. (X-Factor #97)

“Also, the hand of orbital lasers.” (X-Factor #97)

I love this panel so much. (X-Factor #97)

SERIOUSLY THOUGH SHE HAS ORBITAL LASERS (X-Factor #97)

Spoiler: both of these dudes spend this arc being nonstop awful. (X-Factor #97)

“Antici– (X-Factor #98)

–pation!” (X-Factor #98)

Meanwhile, in a nearby Ralph Bakshi movie. (X-Factor #98)

Aw, Jamie. (X-Factor #98)

Haven’s real superpower is her AMAZING HAIR. (X-Factor #98)

Forge, fuck off. Lorna is literally the only competent member of X-Factor, including you. (X-Factor #99)

The snake shoes, in all their structurally questionable glory! (X-Factor #99)

Aw, Rahne. (X-Factor #99)

Aw, Rahne! (X-Factor #99)

I feel vaguely that I should be making a “what does G-d need with a starship” joke here, but frankly, Star Trek V doesn’t deserve the nod. (X-Factor #100)

Don’t tell them that. Never tell them that. (X-Factor #100)

You see what I mean about the captions, though, right? (X-Factor #100)

This is basically Jay’s morning routine. (X-Factor #100)

Aw, Jamie. (X-Factor #100)

It’s okay; he’ll be back eventually, mostly, probably. (X-Factor #100)

And now, an out-of-context infomercial-style tag! (X-Factor #100)

NEXT EPISODE: Haven’t we been here before?

LINKS & FURTHER MODES OF TRANSPORTATION

• We did indeed review Dark Phoenix; and you can find that review–and links to everywhere else we’ve been talking about it online–right here.
• Friend, have you seen the wonders of the Wolverine Meets Freddie Mercury saga? Either way, here it is (plus a pretty splendid coda).
• You can find the comments Miles mentioned attached to Episode 241 – Conducive to Moral Subversion.
• The Trolley Problem is a pretty interesting ethical thought experiment and also a pretty interesting way to send yourself spiraling into an existential crisis!
• Yes, Miles’s stepdad actually has a trolley company.
• Please read all of Max Wittert’s Jean & Scott comics immediately.