Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 226 – Les Mutants

Listen to the podcast here!



At the End of the Fight

Lyrics by Jay Edidin, with apologies to Herbert Kretzmer

Performed by *Luz Bianca, Greg Black, Jeremy Borders, Lucas Brown, Kitty Byrne, *Tina Carelton, *Finn Carter, Everett Christensen, Veryan Croggan, Chris Eddleman, *Christina Eddleman, edibleflowers, Sol Foster, Emily Freville, Matt Gardner, Eric Michael Gray, Pete Gresser, Becky Hawkins, Andrew Hill, Jeff Holland, Al Kennedy, Steve Lacey, Kevin Lanigan, Elana Levin, *Alex Lundquist, Dan McMahon, William Mason, Steve Neal, notwhelmedyet (Lynn), Duck Orsino, Shannon Pack, Erin Pence, *Steve Pence, Philthy, Mariana Poole, rainproof, Samantha Riedel, Scott Sharplin, Adam Slevison, Richaundra Thursday, Dave Tomaine, Devin Toohey, and Grace Young.
*Soloists

[X-FACTOR]
At the end of the fight you’re another page older
And that’s all you can say for the X-Factor life
It’s a struggle, it’s a war
And just when you think that you’re winning
You find yourself stuck on the moon, facing down Stryfe
And the fight’s just beginning

At the end of the fight you’re another fight older
And the X on your jacket won’t keep out the chill
And the readers all hurry past
To the six other X-books they’re buying
As the Legacy Virus spreads fast, ready to kill
One fight nearer to dying

[COMPANY]
A tthe end of the fight there’s another fight coming
A crossover next week, an annual soon
Like a storm that’ll break any second
Foreshadowing Fatal Attractions
There’s a reckoning still to be reckoned
Plus the critics’ hot takes and reactions
And the future is not looking bright
At the end of the fight

[VAL COOPER]
At the end of the fight there will be a debriefing
You don’t get to slack in a government job

[STRONG GUY]
We’ve got better things to do
And this system doesn’t seem fair
After all, we threw all the punches

[POLARIS]
Plus, we don’t care

[STRONG GUY+ WOLFSBANE]
And we need a vacation.

[MULTIPLEMAN]
Have you seen how Val Cooper is fuming today

[QUICKSILVER]
She might be possessed, she seems so out of sorts

[VAL]
Step it up Summers, there’s paperwork waiting–
They’re not dissertations, just mission reports

[COMPANY]
At the end of the fight it’s another fight over
To whatever extent superhero fights end
Fight Magneto, fight the Blob
Fight some guy we just met in a sewer
What the hell, at least it’s a job
Just find us the next evildoer
‘Cause there’s no resolution in sight
At the end of the fight


LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE:

226 – Les Mutants

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Havok actually used to be pretty great; there are at least four attorneys in the Marvel Universe; Genosha continues to be wildly problematic; Hieronymus Bosch was not Comics Code-compliant; Quicksilver goes on vacation; Polaris has no time for your love triangle; Wolfsbane can maul as many magistrates as she wants; and Multiple Man makes a choice.

X-PLAINED:
• Damian Tryp
• An unconventional staffing practice
• Genosha (more) (again)
• The devolution of Alex Summers’ personality
• Several attorneys in the Marvel Universe
X-Factor #88-91
• Random (Marshall Stone III)
• Joe Quesada’s signature ribbons
• Checkbook heroism
• Kids these days
• Genoshan reconstruction
• Several gardens of earthly delights
• Puberty
• A mercifully abandoned plan
• A conspiracy
• A significant tonal shift
• Mutate #24601
• RoboJean
• Genosha’s sanitation system
• Dick Chalker
Magneto Rex
• Humans in Magneto’s Genosha

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine vs. everything


Thanks to everyone who helped bring Jay’s weird musical dream to life:

*Luz Bianca, Greg Black, Jeremy Borders, Lucas Brown, Kitty Byrne, *Tina Carelton, *Finn Carter, Everett Christensen, Veryan Croggan, Chris Eddleman, *Christina Eddleman, edibleflowers, Sol Foster, Emily Freville, Matt Gardner, Eric Michael Gray, Pete Gresser, Becky Hawkins, Andrew Hill, Jeff Holland, Al Kennedy, Steve Lacey, Kevin Lanigan, Elana Levin, *Alex Lundquist, Dan McMahon, William Mason, Steve Neal, notwhelmedyet (Lynn), Duck Orsino, Shannon Pack, Erin Pence, *Steve Pence, Philthy, Mariana Poole, rainproof, Samantha Riedel, Scott Sharplin, Adam Slevison, Richaundra Thursday, Dave Tomaine, Devin Toohey, and Grace Young.

*Soloists

Special thanks to Juliana Finch, Christian Lipski, and Laser Webber for technical advice; Christina Eddleman for recording the demo track; and Matt Gardner and Peter Gresser for [Easter egg description redacted].


Check out the visual companion to this episode–as well as the full lyrics to “At the End of the Fight”–on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 216 – X-Amining X-Factor

Listen to the episode here.



LINKS & FURTHER ANALYSES:

216 – X-Amining X-Factor (feat. Dr. Andrea Letamendi)

In which Dr. Andrea Letamendi of Arkham Sessions joins us to analyze some analysis; Doc Samson has major scope-of-practice issues; Ren & Stimpy references continue to fail to age well; it’s hard to be Quicksilver; Val Cooper is not your friend; Polaris pretty much always deserves better; Charles Xavier should not be allowed to inhabit positions of power; and labels are often not the best tools for good representations of mental illness and neurodivergence.

X-PLAINED:

  • A very high-stakes 3-D puzzle
  • X-Factor #87
  • Doc Samson
  • Making talking heads interesting
  • Wolfsbane’s relationship to pop culture
  • Appropriate boundaries
  • Several remarkable fashion choices
  • Pietro Maximoff in perspective
  • Therapeutic assessment vs. intervention
  • The extremely tragic backstory of Jamie Madrox
  • Imposter syndrome
  • A brief history of Polaris’s brushes with possession
  • A really poorly planned and presented sequence
  • Consequences of armchair diagnosis
  • Interactions of telepathy and psychology
  • Legion as a portrayal of mental illness
  • Writing mental illness in fiction

NEXT EPISODE: Rasputin Family Reunion!


Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 212 – Drumbeats of Despair

Listen to the episode here.



LINKS & FURTHER MISHAPS:

212 – Drumbeats of Despair: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 3 or 3)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which nobody but Stryfe’s diary understands him; Apocalypse is the best at what he does (and what he does is remarkably versatile); Scott and Jean weaponize their clichés; Jae Lee does his best Patrick Nagel; Apocalypse is poisonous; Cable goes full T-800; nothing good ever happens to Cyclops on the moon; Stryfe dies as passive-aggressively as he lived; and X-Cutioner’s Song finally concludes.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Cable dies
  • The Story So Far
  • Still more trading-card taxonomy
  • Uncanny X-Men #296
  • X-Factor #86
  • X-Men #16
  • X-Force #18
  • An AU we’d like to read
  • The not-Stüssy S
  • How to effectively reference X-Men #137
  • A decoy baby
  • An abortive escape
  • Moon gravity
  • Revelatory vandalism
  • A trip to the moon
  • A probably excessive number of hawk facts
  • Various daring rescues
  • How to kill time in space
  • Cathexes
  • A very fancy moon base
  • The cavalry, kind of
  • Stryfe vs. Cable
  • An X-Cellent epilogue
  • Several Silent Hill 2 references
  • Stryfe’s Legacy
  • Pawnee, Indiana vs. Marvel
  • Sexy high-security prisons of the future

NEXT EPISODE: Live from FlameCon, featuring Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams!


Special thanks to Matt for the subject of this episode’s cold open; and to the Protomen for use of their cover of “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”


Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 211 – A Cornucopia of Mayhem

Listen to the episode here.



LINKS & FURTHER EXPERIMENTS:

211 – A Cornucopia of Mayhem: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 2 of 3)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jubilee is underwhelmed by X-Force; Havok and Gambit make weirdly good buddy cops; Department K is a hot vacation destination; Cable is secretly a Coen Brothers protagonist; you can cancel Community but you can never take away Jay’s gratuitous Community references; Rusty goes full cultist; nobody is Stryfe’s real dad; smoking on a space station is a REALLY bad idea; Apocalypse is here to help; and Miles lies at length about music.

X-PLAINED:

  • Kuurth
  • Various Juggernauts
  • The Story So Far
  • More trading-card taxonomy
  • Uncanny X-Men #295
  • X-Factor #85
  • X-Men #15
  • X-Force #17
  • Varyingly hilarious misunderstandings
  • Wire Mothers: Harry Harlow and the Science of Love
  • What happened
  • Good Cop / Sleazy Cop
  • A deal
  • A tragic absence of Draculas
  • The Coen Brothers’ X-Cutioner’s Song
  • Thanksgiving with Cable
  • Miles’s summer camp hijinks
  • Murderbots in space (again)
  • A dubious strategy
  • MLF Redshirts
  • The second time someone force-fed superheroes baby food in space
  • A dropped plot thread
  • Things you shouldn’t do on space stations
  • Additional awkward reunions
  • Whether Stryfe is a Summers
  • The X-Cutioner’s signature karaoke song

NEXT EPISODE: Dang, this event is long.


Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 210 – The End of Tomorrow

Listen to the podcast here!



LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES:

210 – The End of Tomorrow: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 1 of 3)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you may or may not have your own Black Bug Room; FlameCon was in fact every bit as wonderful as we projected (and more); Caliban hates true love; no one will ever be as extra as Mister Sinister; X-Cutioner’s Song is secretly a farce; we achieve Peak Cable; and the quintessential ’90s crossover event begins!

X-PLAINED:

  • The Black Bug Room
  • A good deal of pre-event status quo
  • Uncanny X-Men #294
  • X-Factor #84
  • X-Men #14
  • X-Force #16
  • Trading card taxonomy
  • The opening strains of a crossover event
  • A concert that worked out better in theory than in practice
  • An abduction
  • Several attempted murders
  • A large number of awkward reunions
  • An even larger number of inter-team brawls
  • Two villains pretending to be other villains
  • Cape logistics
  • Peak Cable
  • Many pouches
  • Many guns
  • The origin of Hope Summers
  • Our hopes for mutants in the MCU

NEXT EPISODE: Aw, Stryfe, no.


NOTE: At one point in this episode, Miles said “X-Force” when he actually meant “X-Factor.” If you can tell us where, you win the prize of eternal smugness (not as much smugness as Sinister, but still a lot).


Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)