hats – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

April 9, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

So, that’s where he got it! (Wolverine #-1)

I love this design for Sabretooth. (Wolverine #-1)

And also his car. (Wolverine #-1)

Literally nothing is okay at the Blanding/Masters house. (X-Factor #-1)

Mister Sinister lurks in the bushes. (X-Factor #-1)

They’re AT LEAST in their early 20s. (X-Factor #-1)

DAMN, Haley! (X-Factor #-1)

The most dangerous mini-game. (X-Factor #-1)

Alex Summers in a nutshell. (X-Factor #-1)

Wellp, you did that. (X-Force #-1)

I swear I thought this thing was gonna be a red herring. (X-Force #-1)

Everything cute about this issue is also really sad. (X-Force #-1)

How Thunderbird got his code name. (X-Force #-1)

Don’t worry, Tabby; soon you’ll be stealing with the best of ’em! (X-Force #-1)

The Circus of Cameos. (X-Force #-1)

In which John Produstar straight-up wrassles a tiger. (X-Force #-1)

“We also do a lot of crimes, but they’re pretty low-key as comic-book circus crimes go.” (X-Force #-1)

Ugh, this guy. (X-Force #-1)

Naked in Space: The Charles Francis Xavier Story. (X-Men #-1)

Magneto, a sensible fellow, wears clothes in the vacuum of space. (X-Men #-1)

IT NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY (X-Men #-1)

DRAMATIC! JUXTAPOSITION! (X-Men #-1)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor hits rock-bottom, again.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

If you want to know more about the man behind the mustache, we recommend the hell out of Abraham Josephine Riesman’s True Believer: The Rise and Fall of Stan Lee.

406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

April 2, 2023 Jay 5 comments

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In which we disagree about the value of Stan Lee intros; everybody wants Wolverine; Mister Sinister lurks; Haley Blanding deserves better; Thunderbird fights a tiger; and Xavier and Magneto do their usual thing.

X-PLAINED:

The Circus of Crime
Stan Lee intros
Wolverine #-1
X-Factor #-1
X-Force #-1
X-Men #-1
Proust vs. Sartre
How Logan joined Alpha Flight
The secret origin of the word “canucklehead.”
USDA, Annex B
Myron MacLain
Logan’s cigars
Yet more continuity errors
Sabretooth’s ridiculous car
The balance of scary and silly
Wolverine’s cowboy hat
Summers family bullshit
The Blandings and/or Masterses
Vince
The Proudstar family
One or more cats named Coyote
The origin of Thunderbird’s totem
Edwin Martynec (again)
Chondu the Magician
Ringmaster
Yet more Xavier and Magneto flashback drama
The bottom of the resurrection queue
Good car-trip episodes

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor continues to make poor decisions

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Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 352 – Onslog

November 14, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Still not really seeing the “ebon” part of “ebon citadel,” but whatever. (The Incredible Hulk #445)

I always appreciate details like this. (The Incredible Hulk #445)

Ouch. (The Incredible Hulk #445)

It’s like that thing where you don’t hear your cat coming in and then it’s RIGHT THERE STARING AT YOU. (Invincible Iron Man #332)

Those are… certainly some sound effects. (Invincible Iron Man #332)

It’s not a whole fancy suit, but I guess it’ll do. (Invincible Iron Man #332)

Hats all around! (Invincible Iron Man #332)

Look at them, all action-y. (Avengers #402)

Sucks to be the dude who has to both accurately assess the situation AND keep everyone’s spirits up! (Avengers #402)

SO THERE. (Avengers #402)

SO MUCH HEROISM IN ONE PAGE (Avengers #402)

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Additional Onslaught!

LINKS & FURTHER CHOREOGRAPHY

The gold standard for sneaking songs.

352 – Onslog

November 7, 2021 Jay 18 comments

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In which Onslaught: Phase 2 does not live up to the promise of Phase 1; Hulk is not the most trustworthy individual; Miles is his own best audience; Sentinels know their continuity; and true heroism is scored by James Horner.

X-PLAINED:

The Phoenix Five
Onslaught thus far
The Incredible Hulk #445
Invincible Iron Man #332
Avengers #402
Pea Soup Hulk
Falcon’s late cousin Jim
The word “ebon”
Tunneling logistics
An uncomfortable lesson
Immortal Hulk and why you should be reading it
Fancy hats
Science Made Stupid
Teen Tony Stark (more) (again)
Sneaking
Onslaught’s best epithet
The sound of heroism
Thor’s “shirt”
Headgear

NEXT EPISODE: Additional Onslaught!

Check out the visual companion to this episode over on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

224 – Fix the Future

November 25, 2018 Jay 24 comments

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In which Alan Davis performs his pièce de résistance; the personification of Death is surprisingly supportive; Rachel Summers is the One True Phoenix; Kitty Pryde goes full ’90s; syntax saves the world; and the first Excalibur series should really have ended with #67.

X-PLAINED:

Origins of Phoenix mythology
Excalibur #61-67
The Phoenix Force (more) (again)
Rachel Summers (more) (again)
Earth-811 (more) (again)
Phoenix vs. Galactus
A pep talk from Death
The One True Phoenix
The dark, distant future of 2013
The dark, even more distant future of 2015
The extremely complicated future of Kate Pryde
Rory Campbell / Ahab
What may or may not be Ahab’s theme song
Moby Dick, kind of
That one time Widget was a car
Resistance Coordination Executive
Dark Angel
Killpower
Albion
Grace
Tangerine
Arthur
An Excalibur #54 callback
Excalibur (the gun)
Kitty’s new image
How to hack the robot apocalypse
Saved by the Bell: The College Years
Where Excalibur should have ended
Tactical use of Magneto’s hat
Anti-assimilation stories in X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: The Passion of Butter Rum (feat. Austin Gorton)

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 133 – Feisty Little Fellow from the Stars

November 8, 2016 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

YAYBO! We’re launching our brand new TeePublic shop with a brand new design from artist Scott Koblish and designer Dylan Todd!

You’re hearing this in the Strangers’ voices from Dark City, too, right? (X-Factor #48)

I, however, am thoroughly impressed. Look at that snazzy Kirby-designed dude! (X-Factor #48)

Including this panel mostly for ZZ-105’s adorable flailing. (X-Factor #48)

Aw, man, Beast. Never change. I mean, I guess aside from the extended series of self-induced mutations. (X-Factor #48)

Well, that’s awkward on a lot of levels. (X-Factor #48)

Iceman’s core personality traits involve both reluctance to kill and overcompensating like whoa. (X-Factor #49)

“Tell you what–I won’t tell the others about ‘Wugga Wugga Wugga’ if you don’t mention the hat.” (X-Factor #49)

Ship is such a good bro. (X-Factor #49)

SMASH THE STATE! (X-Factor #49)

Look at that creepy little smirk! (X-Factor #50)

It wouldn’t be X-Factor without some good old-fashioned baby theft! (X-Factor #50)

NO SPACE GODS NO SPACE MASTERS (X-Factor #50)

WOW. (X-Factor #50)

“Knowledge–and twenty-seven hours of smooth jazz classics!” (X-Factor #50)

Meanwhile, this nonsense. (X-Factor #50)

NEXT EPISODE: Live from VVCBF. And yes, the guitar gets played.

133 – Feisty Little Fellow from the Stars (Judgment War, Part 2)

November 7, 2016 Jay 23 comments

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In which the plot thickens; Jay and Miles fix Avatar; Ship is a good bro; you are in space right now; the Beginagains go full This Island Earth; Cyclops weaponizes love; voting is really important; and you’re listening to ten straight hours of soft jazz and subversion on ZZ-105

X-PLAINED:

The other Dazzler (Bertram Worthington)
Our newest t-shirt
X-Factor #48-50
A metaphor within a metaphor, in space
The first half of Judgment War (briefly) (again)
A prisoner exchange
Hairstyles of the possessed and famous
Proper use of Cable
A case for retcons
Iceman vs. Archangel
A feisty little fellow from the stars
The secret origin of Ship
The Celestials
The core of Iceman’s personality
Several kisses
Beast and the Rejects
Some terrible hats
An unfair fight
A nefarious plot
Contagious heroism
Arishem
The power of love
Why we use the word “queer”
Several theoretical and unlikely crossovers

NEXT EPISODE: Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival, with musical guest Scott Koblish!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 90 – Ghosts of the Outback

January 4, 2016 Jay 17 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

Dazzler is pretty fundamentally confused about the idea of “hiding out.” (Uncanny X-Men #228)

O.Z. Chase: Bounty Hunter, Not a Werewolf. (Uncanny X-Men #228)

WOLVERINE. DON’T FEED DOGS CIGARS. WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT. YOU ARE THE WORST. (Uncanny X-Men #228)

Oh, hey, it’s the Walter Peck of the Marvel Universe. (Uncanny X-Men #228)

Good times, good times. (Uncanny X-Men #228)

The Reavers. No, not those reavers. The other Reavers. One of them’s a tank. Centank. Tanktaur. (Uncanny X-Men #229)

That tattoo, man. (Uncanny X-Men #229)

Hi, Gateway! (Uncanny X-Men #229)

Do these guys know how to party, or what? (Uncanny X-Men #229)

“Look, we didn’t really think the whole horde thing through.” (Uncanny X-Men #229)

“Also, you’ll start spelling ‘tiger’ with a Y.” (Uncanny X-Men #229)

Those sound effects! (Uncanny X-Men #229)

Chekhov’s mystic portal. (Uncanny X-Men #229)

Really not feeling that costume, Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #230)

SPOILER: This will not end well. (Uncanny X-Men #230)

Question: Based on his powers, is it SUPER AWKWARD for Longshot to use the toilet? (Uncanny X-Men #230)

Alex. You’re the Summers brother who can see colors. There is no excuse for this. (Uncanny X-Men #230)

Elf Dazzler meshes weirdly well with the whole “Baby Boomer Santa” thing from Community. (Uncanny X-Men #230)

Aw. (Uncanny X-Men #230)

Rick Leonardi is so good, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #231)

Good hat, though. (Uncanny X-Men #231)

Hot, and also hot. (Uncanny X-Men #231)

CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT WHAT STORM IS WEARING? (Uncanny X-Men #231)

Leonardi draws the best Darkchylde by a pretty wide margin. (Uncanny X-Men #231)

How awesome would it be if the Xavier Institute always looked like this? SO AWESOME. (Uncanny X-Men #231)

Aw, man. Right in the feels. (Uncanny X-Men #231)

NEXT WEEK: The saddest story ever.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

We first visited the Australian Outback and met the Reavers (kinda) in Episode 64 – Giant-Size Special #2.
UncannyXMen.net on the probable location of Cooterman’s Creek

90 – Ghosts of the Outback

January 3, 2016 Jay 56 comments

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In which the X-Men move to Australia; O.Z. Chase is definitely not a werewolf; Dazzler is a smart, glittery laser cookie; Gateway falls into some uncomfortable tropes; Havok remains the king of terrible hats; Madelyne Pryor hacks the planet; Rogue makes a friend; Rick Leonardi draws the definitive Magik; Colossus’ secondary mutation is allegory; and there are a lot of great places to donate your old backissues.

X-PLAINED:

Gateway’s probable origin
Wintry mix
Miles’s definitive X-era
Uncanny X-Men #228-231
O.Z. Chase
Vladimir Zaitzev
The Reavers (No, not those Reavers)
Bonebreaker
Skullcrusher
Pretty Boy
Children
Jessan Hoan (Tyger Tiger)
Gateway
Teamwork (more) (again)
The Siege Perilous
Cooterman’s Creek
Jay’s favorite mythic figure (and long-term career goal)
The best brother in the Marvel Universe
A really sad team-up
Favorite X-science moments
Where to donate comic books

NEXT WEEK: The saddest story ever

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 17 – The Island of Dr. Corbeau

August 3, 2014 Jay 22 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Is there a friendship equivalent to “we ‘ship it”? Because, that. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

And you think it’s a pain when your parents visit. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

Corsair, X-Plained. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

Cyclops: Not all that quick on the uptake. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

Remember when this happened and it was hilarious? (Uncanny X-Men #114)

Get used to it, kid. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

Roy and Phil are the new Harvey and Janet. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

That’s… pretty valid, actually. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

Corsair does a lot of X-Plaining this issue. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

In Cyclops’s defense, he did, in fact, have the worst childhood ever. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

This is basically how the Shi’ar say Hello. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

Never change, Kitty Pryde. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

The lady in the fuchsia coat is hardcore judging you, Corsair. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

The Brood’s arsenal includes a super rad op-art ray. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

‘Kay, then. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

Wolveine is hella into fighting with the Brood, which is good, because he’s gonna be doing a lot of that a couple arcs from now. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

Spoiler: He’s gonna be okay. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

REMEMBER THESE BADASSES? They’re back. And we love them. (Uncanny X-Men #156)

We weren’t kidding when we said Phil and Roy were the new Harvey and Janet. (Uncanny X-Men #156)

THE STARJAMMERS ARE SO RAD THAT WE CAN ONLY TALK ABOUT THEM IN ALL CAPS. (Uncanny X-Men #156)

Hepzibah demonstrates the proper way to interrupt a dramatic moment. P.S. REMEMBER WHEN WE SAID THE STARJAMMERS ARE FUCKING DELIGHTFUL? THE STARJAMMERS ARE FUCKING DELIGHTFUL, YOU GUYS. (Uncanny X-Men #156)

The Brood are dicks, man. (Uncanny X-Men #156)

It’s okay. He’ll be back. (Uncanny X-Men #157)

Yeah, we’re not sure what’s going on in that first outfit, either. (Uncanny X-Men #157)

Uncanny X-Men #157, in which Kitty Pryde saves the world with costumes. Like, seriously.

And then, for no apparent reason, she changes into a Peter Pan outfit. You do you, Kitty. You do you. (Uncanny X-Men #157)

Meanwhile, in Avengers Annual #10, it’s raining Marvels.

Fun fact: Jessica Drew is long-time buds with the X-Men. (Avengers Annual #10)

Well, that explains it. (Uncanny X-Men #158)

Rogue’s default villain M.O. was really, really creepy. (Avengers Annual #10)

REMEMBER HOW THAT HAPPENED AND NONE OF THE AVENGERS SAW ANY PROBLEM WITH IT? (Avengers Annual #10)

You know the runs that gymnasts do as the lead-up to really spectacular tumbling passes? This is Chris Claremont’s equivalent, only instead of doing a bunch of flips, he is going to call out some of the most bullshit writing of the previous year. (Avengers Annual #10)

STANDING. FUCKING. OVATION. That said, it’s pretty depressing that this came out in 1981 and still reads as a lot more progressive than the handling of sexual violence in a lot of current comics. (Avengers Annual #10)

The return of Dr. Peter Corbeau. (Uncanny X-Men #158)

I WONDER IF THIS WILL BECOME RELEVANT LATER. (Uncanny X-Men #158)

Senator Kelly: Still a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #158)

“Hey, Alex, you know how all you wanted was a normal life? Yeah, I just dropped by to tell you our dad’s been alive for the last twenty years. And he’s a space pirate. And your hat looks stupid.” (Uncanny X-Men #158)