Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Joanna Cargill

As Mentioned in Episode 479 – Nancy Drew and the Secret of Carrion Cove

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Jay’s not wrong that the buildings look like giant dildos… but at least they look like fancy dildos! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
Starring: a bunch of fashionable jerks, mostly! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
Not a good look when your cops look just like the cops who used to oppress you… (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
Magneto: Master of Magnetism and Monologues! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
okay but what about the chest-skull (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
That floaty platform has a heated floor, blind spot monitoring, and built-in GPS. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
For all your chat reaction needs! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
These here comical books are lookin’ pretty comical-booky. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
Magneto talks to… someone! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
We just like this cover. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
Everybody fights everybody! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
In which dust illustrates speed and impact! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
It’s like the portrait-instead-of-landscape version of widescreen storytelling! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
Father of the year. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
To her credit, she does have all the Kirby Krackle. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
Because Mister Sinister is the hidden force behind literally everything. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
Rest in Ponytail, Fabian Cortez. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
“Time to conceive some other on-again, off-again offspring who suck less.” (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
NEXT TIME: X-Man!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

  • That thing about the cooking show and spreader bars and Namor that Jay was talking about
  • Information and pencils from Chris Claremont and Rick Leonardi’s canceled Phoenix miniseries

479 – Nancy Drew and the Secret of Carrion Cove

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In which Genosha gets better and/or worse; Fabian Cortez is the Secretary of Betrayal; having an action figure of yourself is the path to immortality; and Hammer Bay sounds like a sex toy company.

X-PLAINED:

  • Triathlon
  • The Revolution relaunch and the six-month gap
  • Magneto: Dark Seduction #1-4
  • Erotic skyscrapers
  • Magneto (again) (forever)
  • X-Men Tijuana Bibles
  • The Genoshan Cabinet
  • Dark friendship with benefits
  • Polaris’s newfound interest in heavy metal
  • Magneto’s on-again, off-again children
  • Carrion Cove
  • Coloring symbolism and/or errors
  • Spat and Grovel (kind of)
  • Magneto’s ancestral f**k-ghost
  • Socialism!
  • Magneto’s mysterious mind-voice
  • Neal Conan
  • The Avengers of 2000
  • Kirby Krackle
  • Magneto’s smooth arc into villainy
  • Bonking
  • Human nature
  • Rachel Summers in the Body Shoppe
  • Our (lack of) coverage of solo comics

NEXT EPISODE: X-Man!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 445 – Dick War

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This cover, man. (X-Men: The Magneto War #1)
Rogue’s dream bikini. (X-Men: The Magneto War #1)
His powers are just icky. (X-Men: The Magneto War #1)
Please enjoy Nightcrawler’s adorable pajamas. (X-Men: The Magneto War #1)
That’s… that’s not Trish Tilby. (Uncanny X-Men #366)
…what… (Uncanny X-Men #366)
Magneto knows from villainous lairs. (Uncanny X-Men #366)
Ferris is a cutie. (Uncanny X-Men #366)
NEXT EPISODE: Magneto wins.

LINKS & FURTHER ADVICE

 

445 – Dick War

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In which not every story needs to be an event; Alan Davis returns to the X-line; X-mansion security is not what it once was; Rogue needs some new fantasies; and Magneto wants a country.

X-PLAINED:

  • A poor governance decision
  • X-Men: The Magneto War #1
  • Uncanny X-Men #366
  • Astral demerits
  • A very dramatic dream
  • The yolk of oppression
  • Several Acolytes
  • Nightcrawler’s nightcap
  • Our standards for advertisers
  • Suburban Magneto
  • Ferris
  • Magnet problems
  • Forged DNA
  • Mutants from Georgia, Florida, and Indiana
  • Flying with Storm

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto wins.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

RSVP to our birthday shenanigans!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 372 – Monty Python’s Life of Magnus

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Steven Tyler vs Mick Jagger? (Magneto #1)
Home security has come a long way since 1996. (Magneto #1)
Sometimes the art crosses the line from iffy to weirdly awesome. (Magneto #1)
The sparkles are a nice touch, Fabian. (Magneto #1)
He’s the messiah! (Magneto #1)
Where… where’d your hair go, man? (Magneto #1)
“Behold my logo font!” (Magneto #2)
Fabian, what did that bird ever do to you?! (Magneto #2)
Meanwhile, in the space-opera version of this story… (Magneto #2)
Kelley Jones really nails the moments of Joseph’s Magneto-facade slipping. (Magneto #2)
PLOP (Magneto #2)
I mean, those birds have ample reason to have misgivings themselves. Fabian Cortez could be anywhere! (Magneto #2)
This was pre-Lyft, see. (Magneto #2)
…magnetism..? (Magneto #3)
So say we all. (Magneto #3)
If Fabian Cortez had a mustache, he’d be twirling it right now. (Magneto #3)
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH (Magneto #3)
Only the real Magneto could maniacally cackle at an angle that dramatic! (Magneto #4)
Because it’s about time someone did. (Magneto #4)
Broadcast Standards & Practices salutes you, Joseph. (Magneto #4)
“…for twenty-three days or so…” (Magneto #4)
NEXT TIME: Mystique vs. politicians-being-alive, round 2. Sorta.

372 – Monty Python’s Life of Magnus

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the first Magneto miniseries is actually a Joseph miniseries; Magneto lost a lot of nuance in the ‘90s; Fabian Cortez is friend to neither man nor bird; Joseph finds his inner supervillain; Marvel’s United Nations is unusually heavily armed; and bears are much cooler than guns.

X-PLAINED:

  • Magneto (again)
  • The Acolytes (again)
  • Joseph (again)
  • Magneto #1-4
  • Amelia Voght (again)
  • Religious statuary
  • Razors
  • New Avalon
  • Magneto’s voice
  • How not to make a point
  • Armstrong
  • A Trask who may or may not be Simon
  • Weird torture
  • Peonies
  • A big, silly fight
  • Happy X-Men comics featuring Wolverine
  • The many nexuses of reality

NEXT EPISODE: Assassination!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 57 – Apocalypse Soon

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Listen to the episode here!

Oh, this guy. (X-Factor #2)
As a side effect of her return from near-death, Jean can perfectly recall any outfit–except her own. (X-Factor #2)
“But at least I know how to put on my goddamn pants.” (X-Factor #2)
Oh, Vera, what have they done to you? (X-Factor #2)
“Trust me, this is in no way an allegory for any other situations in your life.” (X-Factor #2)
Walls are the real victims in Layton’s run. (X-Factor #2)
Why do thugs ever fall for that line? Seriously. (X-Factor #2)
It’s okay, Scott. We’re only a few issues away from Louise Simonson. (X-Factor #2)
X-Factor vs. yet another wall. (X-Factor #2)
Dr. Maddicks: kind of awful. (X-Factor #2)
In addition to being kind of a crap scientist, Carl Maddicks is a terrible parent. (X-Factor #3)
I was seriously considering having this entire as-mentioned just be X-Factor knocking down walls. (X-Factor #3)
Jean recognize her team’s signature move. (X-Factor #3)
Aaaaand there goes another wall. (X-Factor #3)
Scott and Jean finally have a talk about–wait, no, just kidding, they’re about to get interrupted by urgent news. (X-Factor #3)
AMAZING, Hank. AMAZING. (X-Factor #3)
LOOK AT THIS GLORIOUS COVER. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Wellp. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Thank you for that highly relevant footnote, comic book. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the underwear. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Headcanon: Heinreich has worked out a whole backstory for this secretary, and he’s really disappointed that he didn’t get to use more of it. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Serious question: is this the only time Bobby’s clothing transforms to ice along with him? DISCUSS. LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED. (X-Factor Annual #1)
How come some of these people are wearing robot underpants and others are not? (X-Factor Annual #1)
The Crimson Dynamo is not, in fact, the Red Scare. UNFORTUNATELY. (X-Factor Annual #1)
But seriously, the mix-up is pretty understandable.
Iceman vs. Iceman! (X-Factor Annual #1)
Oh, for the love of… (X-Factor Annual #1)
They’re fighting Tower and knocking down a wall at the same time! Two drinks! (X-Factor #4)
Joanna Cargill is so awesome. SO. AWESOME. (X-Factor #4)
At least he put on pants this time? I guess? (X-Factor #4)
X-Factor: actually kind of terrible. (X-Factor #4)
In case you happened to be wondering where the original art from this page is, the answer is our office. (Thank you, Tom!) (X-Factor #4)
Does no one ever use doors in this comic? (X-Factor #4)
Best outfit, best character, worst attempt at a cliffhanger. Also, I’m pretty sure one of us used to have a Mage: The Ascension character named Time Shadow. (X-Factor #4)
“It’s like we were briefly allowed to evolve as characters but have since reverted to a social dynamic we had long since outgrown.” (X-Factor #5)
True Fact: If one of you had submitted this outfit for the plainclothes cosplay contest, you would have won, no questions asked. (X-Factor #5)
And there goes another wall. (X-Factor #5)
Frenzy has no patience for your sub-par command of Yiddish. (X-Factor #5)
The less-than-inspiring debut of one of the X-Men’s greatest villains. (X-Factor #5)
Many thanks to Bobby Roberts for 57 spectacular episodes of production, advice, and boundless patience. You are the best, and we love you forever. (Art by David Wynne.)
Next week: MINISERIES MAYHEM!

57 – Apocalypse Soon

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Art by David Wynne. We're not selling prints of this one, but you can still hit David up for the original!
Art by David Wynne. We’re not selling prints of this one, but you can still hit David up for the original!

In which Miles tries to find things to like about Bob Layton’s X-Factor run; Cyclops’s life is literally an anxiety dream; X-Factor is very Leverage; Layton’s Angel is just godawful; Rachel is all about the Red Scare; Frenzy is awesome; and we bid a fond farewell to producer Bobby Roberts.

X-PLAINED:

  • An Apocalypse that might have been
  • Mid-80s X-title thematic disambiguation
  • The limited value of nostalgia
  • Creative history of X-Factor
  • X-Factor #2-5 and Annual #1
  • The baffling reinvention of Vera Cantor
  • Tower (Edward Pasternak)
  • Dubious didactic strategies
  • Carl Maddicks
  • Artie Maddicks
  • Muffin the kitten
  • Bad timing
  • Soviet mutant policy
  • Soviet robot disambiguation
  • The Doppelganger (Wolfgang Heinreich)
  • A ruse
  • Alexei Garnov, Mentac the Living Computer, Concussion, Iron Curtain, and Siberian Tiger
  • The worst phonetic accent we have ever seen.
  • The Alliance of Evil
  • Frenzy (Joanna Cargill)
  • The color of Beast’s fur
  • Our favorite X-Men toys

NEXT WEEK: Miniseries Mayhem!

Many thanks to Bobby Roberts for 57 spectacular episodes of production, advice, and boundless patience. You are the best, and we love you forever.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re not selling prints of this week’s illustration, but you can contact David Wynne for the original!