kurt wagner – Page 2 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

July 29, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Is Thunderbird cosplaying Colossus? (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Meet Neal Shaara! Or sometimes Neal Sharra, depending on who’s writing! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

In which Karima Shapandar literally jump-kicks her way into the issue. (See also the 1977 kung fu film The Invincible Armour.) (X-Men Unlimited #27)

And you haven’t even met Maggott yet! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

embarrassed_werewolf sounds like part of an auto-generated Reddit username. (X-Men Unlimited #27)

“Crap, instead of zapping them with the Robot Servant Ray, we zapped them with the Main Character Ray!” (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Aww, Sanjit. (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Check out Gambit’s sideways-Legion hair! And Beast’s Banshee disguise! (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Darkstar speaks for us all. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

This ain’t Beast’s first brainwashing rodeo. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Listen, the Darkforce is just cool, okay? (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Dis not what Gambit had in mind. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

More like the Golden Death, really. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Darkstar’s face is the same as Miles’s when he first discovered Cloud/Sephiroth slash almost 30 years ago. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

“No, my only weaknesses – rain and tasers!” (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Technology safety tip: if you get a suspicious email, blow up your computer! (X-Men Annual 2000)

Adorable downtime! (X-Men Annual 2000)

I love these goofballs so much. (X-Men Annual 2000)

Rogue learned a lot of things during her time with Magneto, like: if you have a problem, throw it into space. (X-Men Annual 2000)

The focused totality of her cutting your goddamn head off. (X-Men Annual 2000)

Everyone just looks really cool here. That’s the only significance. (X-Men Annual 2000)

GUN ARRRRRRMMMSSSSS (X-Men Annual 2000)

That’s some Claremont dialogue, alright (complimentary). (X-Men Annual 2000)

I guess that’s why Stryfe’s not too concerned with peripheral vision. Explains the helmet. (X-Men Annual 2000)

NEXT TIME: The Goth!

494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

July 20, 2025 Jay 9 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which the X-Men zealously protect their trademarks; Cable can have as many moms as he wants to; not everyone should have to be a superhero; Lady Deathstrike knows how to handle unauthorized emails; and somehow there are still more gun arms.

X-PLAINED:

Lady Deathstrike
X-Men Unlimited #27-28
X-Men Annual 2000
One reason to recycle code names
Thunderbird III (Neal Shaara)
Sanjit Shaara and his electronic diary
Karima Shapandar
Bastion and the Prime Sentinels (again) (briefly)
Omega Prime Sentinels
Rebirth Island and what lurks there
Darkstar (Laynia Petrovna)
Unusual disturbances
Whether Gambit sleeps
The Black Death
Internet security training with Bastion
The genealogy of Nora Ephron romantic comedy You’ve Got Mail
Fashion
Stryfe (again) (briefly)
Psylocke’s telekinetic katana
Interactions between Madelyne Pryor and her large adult son
Spiral’s Body Shop

NEXT EPISODE: The Brotherhood targets Senator Kelly… again.

Check out the visual companion to this episode here!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

490 – Chekhov’s Angel Dust

June 15, 2025 Jay 13 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Chris Claremont tries to make the Neo happen; Cecilia Reyes continues to have no time for this bullshit; Rogue gets some action; Shadowcat flees the comic; and Tessa returns.

X-PLAINED:

The Evolutionaries
X-Men #100-102
The current X-Men rosters
Thunderbird (Neal Shaara)
Claremont vs. continuity
Dove crimes
The Neo
- Domina
- Jaeger
- Rax
Fancy space suits
What to do with someone else’s bone claws
Some guy named Seth
The High Evolutionary’s love nest
A Phoenix-saga callback
Rave
Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s weird fantasies
Whether unstable molecules are self-cleaning
Seventeen deaths of Mister Sinister
Salvo the Living Gun
How to keep track of X-Men
Time travel problems
X-Men LEGO sets we’d like to see

NEXT EPISODE: Live from Washington, D.C.!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 484 – Hell Tuba

April 20, 2025 Miles 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

A miniseries based on a miniseries! (X-Men: Magik #1)

What are we looking at? Not sure. Is it rad? Definitely. (X-Men: Magik #1)

To paraphrase: it doesn’t have to be practical if it’s AWESOME. (X-Men: Magik #1)

Not the most efficient way to blow up a bunch of Teslas, but certainly stylish. (X-Men: Magik #1)

Only one of them got the note about the dress code. But which? (X-Men: Magik #1)

The Battle for Hell’s Deep. (X-Men: Magik #1)

So, like, what if the sky broke and then cut off your goddamned head, is my question (X-Men: Magik #2)

Everyone’s outfits are very long. (X-Men: Magik #2)

Did we mention that this series is in a hell dimension? (X-Men: Magik #2)

(Pushes up Norse glasses:) Technically, Surtur’s sword Twilight would only be on fire if he’d entered Asgard upon the day of Ragnarök, and… (X-Men: Magik #2)

And then sometimes the art is suddenly beautiful. (X-Men: Magik #2)

(wailing guitar solo) (X-Men: Magik #2)

I now pronounce you Hell-Lord and Sorceress! (X-Men: Magik #3)

Hey, tell us more about Lord Militant Phemous and his Huscarls! (X-Men: Magik #3)

Meanwhile, in the Hell-actic Senate… (X-Men: Magik #3)

You get out of the sky and finish your evil-chrome-skeleton-god dinner this instant, young man! (X-Men: Magik #3)

All hail the Hell Tuba! (X-Men: Magik #4)

Welp, there you have it. (X-Men: Magik #4)

Hey, it’s Death’s Head II! Hi, Death’s Head II! (X-Men: Magik #4)

I’m pretty sure Judas Priest has a song about this. (X-Men: Magik #4)

We need to start a metal band just so we can use this as an album cover. (X-Men: Magik #4)

The last day of summer camp is always bittersweet. (X-Men: Magik #4)

NEXT TIME: Generation X versus that thing!

484 – Hell Tuba

April 20, 2025 Miles 5 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which the 2000 Magik miniseries is not a good comics series but is an excellent heavy metal concept album; Nightmare has a nightmare; and tubas work differently in Hell.

X-PLAINED:

Belasco: the early years
Magik (2000 series) #1-4
Magik (Amanda Sefton) (Jimaine Szardos) (more) (again)
Some art stuff
The realm of Nightmare
The Splinter Realms
The Soul Sword (Amanda Sefton version)
An Archfiend of the Pit
Nugent
Chekhov’s Hell computer (and its secretions)
Kurt Wagner’s short and bizarre career in the church
Vitchen
Several cool demon battles
The Dread Dormammu
Gleeg
A problem
Muspelheim
Twilight (sword)
Some Mephisto nonsense
Hades, maybe
Epithets
A convocation
Weird Hell guys
Duke Bleys
The Archenemy
The Hell Tuba
The most demonic brass instrument
Some time travel bullshit
Stories where Emma Frost is at her best
Villain reuse

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X gets new threads!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 483 – Piotr Lovely Locks

April 13, 2025 Miles 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

I appreciate that Shadowcat’s new costume involves her perpetually flipping the (very sharp) bird. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

I mean, it could be worse – you could be Colossus. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

[Epic metal begins] (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

Is Nightcrawler trying to distract from his awful new color scheme by diving at the reader crotch-first? (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

A different look than usual, but I’m not mad at it. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

SEEMS FINE. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

Except that one time! And kind of that other time! (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

Chekhov’s removable skeleton. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

I mean, we’re not not going to show the shattered-moon-and-mountain-of-skulls every time it comes up. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

Magik x-plains the miniseries. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

After this, Warren will be required to take a Defensive Swooping class. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

Oof – right in the outfit! (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

(bonk) (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

A warm welcome back to Polaris’s chest-skull! (X-Men: Black Sun #3)

“Listen, it’s not my fault I’ve been a terrible boyfriend to every woman I’ve dated! And it definitely doesn’t imply anything!” (X-Men: Black Sun #3)

“Hey! That’s my favorite nipple you almost cut off!” (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

Dude needs to hydrate. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

We’d normally say not to mess with perfection, but that’s not a bad evolution of the Phoenix costume! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

Now that’s a demon. Well, Ru’tai. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

The origin of Magik’s bare midriff! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

You’re missing a bloodstone and a Banshee! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

Paging Doctor Belmont… (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

Way better than throwing a Poké Ball. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

Hey, now there are SIX bloodstones! At least Belasco’s throne is rad. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

From the Arcane Tome of Evil Fashion. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

BOOM! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

What if Magik was She-Ra? (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

NEXT TIME: Magik gets metal.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

On Yom Kippur, you fight your own skeleton.

483 – Piotr Lovely Locks

April 13, 2025 Miles 9 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which a lot has happened in the Six Month Gap (and we even get to learn about some of it); we’d missed Claremontian narration; Miles has questions about Colossus’s ponytail; the Soulsword is basically a Poké Ball; the Shadow Pope is cooler than the regular Pope; and Magik has a secret.

X-PLAINED:

Some big news
X-Men: Black Sun #1-5
Phoenix and Psylocke’s sorta-power-swap
Implied continuity
The N’Garai
Belasco
Limbo
Magik (Illyana Rasputin)
New costumes
Priests vs blood magic
An impressively overcomplicated evil plot
Chekhov’s skeleton
Body swaps and/or possession
Thunderbird (Neal Sharra)
Pilgrimm and the Ru’tai (again, surprisingly)
Astral meetups
Confusing bloodstone math
A Triple-Tech
Magik (Amanda Sefton)
Counting X-generations
Our favorite X-decades

NEXT EPISODE: More Magik!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 478 – The Monologue Tube

February 23, 2025 Miles 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Alan Davis protests the death of Cyclops. (From this link)

X-teams, past to present. (At least the ones who still had comics in 2000.) (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Well, at least this time he’s leaving with someone other than those five motorcycle guys who could turn into a sixth motorcycle guy. (Uncanny X-Men #379)

It really, really isn’t. (Uncanny X-Men #379)

“…why do you call yourself X-Man, anyway?” (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Suddenly, the plot! (Uncanny X-Men #379)

“Sacre blue, non! Our elf ears!” (Uncanny X-Men #379)

“you guys i am so mad right now you have no idea” (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Toad, did you just… have that mirror with you? (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Just a really good cover. (X-Force #101)

That pacing, though. (X-Force #101)

Aww man. (X-Force #101)

We’ve all been there, kid. Well, maybe not exactly there, but like… metaphorically. (X-Force #101)

Meltdown counsels a sad child in a comic by Joseph Harris, part 2. (X-Force #101)

Doctor Wily, is that you? (X-Men #99)

“You wanna play paintball with us?” (X-Men #99)

How does a costume that looks so good when you’re blue look so silly when you’re not? (X-Men #99)

I’m not so sure about this Storm-and-Marrow-as-camp-counselors subplot, but I do love me some soap opera. (X-Men #99)

Businesspeople and bikers: the two genders. (X-Men #99)

Tentacle-guys, demons, and hulks: the three genders. (X-Men #99)

Mystique really misses that lamp. (Uncanny X-Men #380)

Logan may be dying, but his eyebrows are very impressive right now. (Uncanny X-Men #380)

“Plus, they charged us like thirty bucks just to bring a carry-on!” (Uncanny X-Men #380)

The S stands for Sexy. (Uncanny X-Men #380)

We’ve all had that dream, Blob. (Uncanny X-Men #380)

Bye, Alan Davis! It’s been weird but pretty fun! (Uncanny X-Men #380)

NEXT TIME: Magneto versus everybody.

478 – The Monologue Tube

February 23, 2025 Miles 6 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Alan Davis is Team Cyclops; everyone gets depowered; it’s hard to connect with kids your age when you’re a superhero; Sinister’s gotta sinister; everyone gets repowered; and the ‘90s were much more eclectic than they get credit for being.

X-PLAINED:

Side effects of Decimation
Uncanny X-Men #379-380
X-Force #101
X-Men #99
Cadre K
Summers family drama
The High Evolutionary (more) (again)
The (other) time all the mutants got depowered
Kevin
A very beautiful book
The ongoing mess of Genoshan politics
The Neo (slightly)
To what extent Logan’s claws are a mutant power
Sinister monologues
Herbert Evolutionary
The New New Men
The ‘90s, in general
What makes a Morlock

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto: Dark Seduction!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!