In which the Hand probably doesn’t even offer dental; literally everyone is less creepy than the Joker and Harley Quinn; toxic masculinity is Sabretooth’s adamantium; Mark Trail is a wild ride; Wolverine trashes the dress code and gets funky; Larry Hama is your god now; and Sabretooth: Death Hunt scores a solid six on the butt-kick scale.
Mark Trail vs. X-Men
Sabretooth (Victor Creed)
Clones of Sabretooth
Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1-4
Ps[i don’t remember; that one guy]
A somewhat tasteful omission, I guess
The glow (and its counterintuitive sound effect)
Tribune (Graydon Creed)
Affirmations with Sabretooth
The butt-kick scale
A tearaway tuxedo
Dubious grenade handling
Parenting with Mystique
One thing Wolverine knows
The CHK-LIT gun
A very qualified recommendation
Our preferred versions of Sabretooth’s origin
NEXT EPISODE: Siena Blaze and the Mystery of the Missing Leprechauns!
In which Rogue flouts air traffic regulations; Jay is very sorry for how badly he butchers Gambit’s accent; stealth is directly proportionate to how loudly you dress; Rogue and Gambit win the gold in Pairs Punchin’; Candra is a big jerk; you should ABSOLUTELY NOT remove an impaled object; Rogue busts through some tropes; and we have complicated feelings about the Ultimate universe.
Rogue’s biological parents
Marvel New Orleans
Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
Bella Donna Boudreaux
What may or may not happen if Rogue kisses a Transformer
Cody Robbins (again)
Supervillain funeral crashers (again)
Inverse Ninja Law (Law of Conservation of Ninjutsu)
The Bill the Pony incident
Nature vs. nurture
Tante Mattie (Mattie Baptiste)
Candra’s new threads
How long it takes to drive from Westchester, NY, to Caledcott, MI
How Jay learned to love Gambit (but not to stop worrying)
Knives as superpowers
Inversions of several gendered superhero tropes
The limits of intent
Magnetos’ (sometimes) kids’ hair
Whether we’ll cover Ultimate X-Men
NEXT EPISODE: Spiky boys, yelling!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
In which we encounter one of comics’ greatest rarities; Spider-Man cannot actually do whatever a spider can; Flash Thompson subscribes to the X-Factor school of child endangerment; alliteration is the source of a very specific sort of powers; Spider-Man is not Phil; guilt is Spider-Man’s greatest motivator; we root for the antagonists; Guido Carosella would be an epic Twitter monster; a lot of people have hung out with the X-Men; and Glob Herman is a lovable, gross mystery.
Spider-Man / X-Men Crossovers
Other media we have consumed recently
Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games
What a spider can do
What Spider-Man can do
A comfortable fictional jacket
How to find Flash Thompson
Many sound effects
The untimely death of Mirrorshade
Why we’re not covering the Captain Marvel movie
Glob Herman’s powers
NEXT EPISODE: Somehow we been doing this for FIVE WHOLE YEARS?!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
In which Gambit is transatlantically terrible; Rick Leonardi is the poor man’s Alan Davis (but in a good way); we try and fail to care about British royals; Miles should probably read some Oscar Wilde already; Jay has a lot of feelings about The Rocketeer; Shadowcat gets a genuinely stylish costume; and we would read the hell out of a series about Destiny, Mystique, and Wolverine’s WWII adventures.
Why Gambit isn’t welcome in the United Kingdom
X-Men: True Friends #1-3
The poor man’s Alan Davis
Laird Alasdhair Kinross and his nonthreatening but convenient heterosexuality
Inexplicably absent familial relationships
Queen Lilibet the Second
Lady Regina Windermere
Several notable British fascists of the 1930s
A snazzy airplane
Several nefarious plots
The mystery of the Hypercolor™ kilt
A large number of strong feelings about The Rocketeer
Kitty Pryde’s best costumes
Weaponized cosmic queerness (again)
Power, agency, and the Dark Phoenix Saga
How characters end up with their specific mutations.
NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine, again.
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
In which Jay may or may not have sold their voice to a sea witch; Gambit and Deadpool are somewhat lackadaisical superheroes; everything Fat Cobra does is amazing; Miles is a prepared gentleman; Gambit is there to look pretty and throw something; and there is now a Ben Acker vocaloid hovering around the studio.
Acker & Blacker
Thrilling Adventure Hour
X-Men #214, but not the real one
Deadpool v. Gambit
As-needed approach to continuity
The ontology of Deadpool
The time the Absorbing Man turned into cocaine
Wolverine Season One
What makes Gambit creepy
The roadtrip miniseries you didn’t know you needed
A theoretical poker game and its theoretical outcome
NEXT EPISODE: Atlantis Attacks!
There is no visual companion to this episode! Go read Deadpool v. Gambit! It’s great!
Look! It’s Captain America! And… Dr. Druid. Okay, then. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
We see what you did, there. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
That… could have gone better. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
Let’s all take a moment to appreciate the fact that Wolverine is wearing a cowboy hat with his swim trunks. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
“But they don’t trust me! I know! I’ll sneak away! That’ll help!” (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
Magneto’s old helmet does not really work with his new disco neckline. (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
EVERYBODY FIGHT! (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
*rimshot* (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
“We could resolve this peacefully, and–actually, nah, you know what? Let’s just punch each other for another two issues.” (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
So, that happened. (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
“Howsabout bears? You got a problem with those, too?” (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
It’s not a miniseries until Rogue’s clothes explode. (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
MAGNETISM! (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
You’re a crook, Captain Hook! (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
It’s kind of like The Lady or the Tiger, only it’s The Naked Dude and the Bear but also They’re the Same Person, so actually it’s not really very much like The Lady or the Tiger at all. (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
Oh, generic Government Man. Never change. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
Well, that’s awkward. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
MAGNETISM! (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
Magneto, the Silver Age called. It wants its schtick back. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
But… I mean… That doesn’t even… You know what? Never mind. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
In the original draft of this issue, Magneto’s helmet turned blue and was eaten by Pac Man. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
Oh, COME ON. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
I swear at least one of those picket signs is straight-up lifted from Uncanny X-Men #200. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)