miniseries – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 452 – Hot Nothing

June 9, 2024 Jay 2 comments

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That can’t be comfortable. (Magneto Rex #1)

One way to put a fire out. (Magneto Rex #1)

Phillip Moreau and Jenny Ransome. (Magneto Rex #1)

This freakin’ loser. (Magneto Rex #1)

The Zealot. (Magneto Rex #1)

Uncool, dude. (Magneto Rex #1)

Ferris endures. (Magneto Rex #2)

“You may have the Legacy Virus, but the L is still for ‘loser.'” (Magneto Rex #2)

This would have been way more dramatic if he’d been naked, right? (Magneto Rex #2)

That’s certainly one way to deal with your problems. (Magneto Rex #3)

That is in fact exactly what he means. (Magneto Rex #3)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!

LINKS & OTHER ACADEMIA:

The book Jay mentioned is The Metaphysics of Fiction, by Amie L. Thomasson
Star Trek: Into Darkness was not a very good movie.

452 – Hot Nothing

June 9, 2024 Jay 8 comments

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In which Magneto is not full of mirth; nobody real or fictional likes Fabian Cortez; when you’re a speedster, every problem is a metaphorical nail; The Zealot makes some valid points; and when Quicksilver declares himself your conscience, it’s time to examine your life.

X-PLAINED:

How Magneto got his powers back
Morally ambiguous hair
Genosha (more) (again)
Magneto Rex #1-3
Magneto vs. Conan
Trish Tilby
Omniscient narrative condemnation
Magneto’s true archfoe
Magistrates (more) (again)
Mutates (more) (again)
Dr. Alda Huxley
Phillip Moreau (more) (again)
Jenny Ransome (more) (again)
Pipeline (Cormac Grimshaw)
Teleportational nudity
The Zealot
Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
Amelia Voght (more) (again)
Several of Magneto’s on-again-off-again children
The Bastille (but not that one)
Mutant numbering
When to use full frontal nudity in your comic
The X-books we’re not covering
The Amulet of Right vs the Sword of Might

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!

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436 – The Feel-Good Movie of the Summer

January 7, 2024 Jay 5 comments

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In which Colossus has had a rough time of it; the X-Men are at their best in bar fights; Bronze-age Wolverine was a jerk; Ursa Major deserves more page space; kids dig Nightcrawler; and we imagine an X-Men newspaper comic strip.

X-PLAINED:

Notable incidents in Iceman’s romantic history
X-Men: Liberators #1-4
Nostalgia
Friendship
A bar fight
Province 13
General Sergei
Several dead deer
Gregor and Valeri
Nikolas
Zener cards
Several children
Omega Red (more) (again)
Ariana
Ideal formats
Beast vs. Dark Beast
A theoretical X-Men newspaper comic

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force gets possessed!

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As Mentioned in Episode 415 – Stardust

July 2, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

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This is a cruel hoax. Mister Sinister appears nowhere in this miniseries. (Gambit vol. 2 #1)

Meet Olivier Stoker and his somewhat peculiar aesthetic. (Gambit vol. 2 #1)

Those playing-card captions. (Gambit vol. 2 #1)

WHAT THE HELL IS IN THE BOX, THOUGH?!?!!? (Gambit vol. 2 #1)

She must be an angel: surely no mere mortal’s hair would censor their swimsuit areas with such precision. (Gambit vol. 2 #1)

WHY IS THERE A TENTACLE (Gambit vol. 2 #2)

Spooning with Sister Katrina. (Gambit vol. 2 #2)

Meet Sybil! (Gambit vol. 2 #2)

“LITERALEEEEEEEEEEEEE” (Gambit vol. 2 #2)

Stoker and his little friends. (Gambit vol. 2 #2)

Surfin’ Pew S A. (Gambit vol. 2 #3)

Maybe next time try speed dating. (Gambit vol. 2 #3)

She’s fun at parties. (Gambit vol. 2 #3)

Anielle unleashed. (Gambit vol. 2 #4)

Aw, Katrina, no. (Gambit vol. 2 #4)

And they all lived happily ever after? (Gambit vol. 2 #4)

NEXT EPISODE: This fuckin’ thing.

415 – Stardust

June 25, 2023 Jay 6 comments

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In which Gambit does Stardust; Wilbur Weston holds no one’s redemption; Gambit is unequivocally bisexual; Lucifer is kinda goofy; and we still don’t know what’s in the box.

X-PLAINED:

Family businesses
Gambit vol. 2 #1-4
What Gambit’s been up to
Some peculiar parallels
Father Miguel Bonavita
Sister Katrina
Father Marcelo
A box
Tante Mattie Baptiste
Olivier Stoker and/or Lucifer
Fancy captions
The Cross of Redemption
Anielle, who may or may not Hanael and may or may not also be a fallen star and/or angel
Gambit’s subconscious
Octopus Gambit
The Grigori
Sibyl
Cerberus
Wormwood
Pew surfing
CyberFork
Spitting locusts, sadly
A bad take on the trolley problem
An ambiguous ending
A pecular transition
Genre displacement
Warlock as a form of art
Elon Musk’s closest X-villain analog

NEXT EPISODE: Dark night of the Bamf!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 377 – Sam Hill

July 10, 2022 Miles Leave a comment

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Milo is better at dominoes than Miles. (Domino #1)

Oh ay oh ay indeed! (Domino #1)

“Miss you? Dude, I barely remember who you are!” (Domino #1)

“And my boots are still full of ninja stars!” (Domino #1)

Is that… a Nike beret? Puck makes it work, though. (Domino #1)

Solid Snake she ain’t. (Domino #1)

Ah, the classic narrative conflict of (wo)man versus man(droid). (Domino #1)

Not exactly the red carpet Domino was hoping for. (Domino #1)

Domino gets strangled, part one. (Domino #2)

…did that explosion just say “Kablooey”? (Domino #2)

Man, that flashback must have been a long time ago. Look how much more hair she has! (Domino #2)

Between this place and the Witness’s cell in Bishop’s future… Are prisons just extra sexy in the Marvel Universe? (Domino #2)

“Ah, we do have fun.” (Domino #2)

Jay disapproves of robot tits. (Domino #2)

Domino gets strangled, part two. (Domino #2)

Domino gets strangled, part three. (Domino #3)

Pay no attention to the mysterious silhouette behind the curtain. (Domino #3)

Somehow, Milo Thurman’s studies of history never included learning just how very common faking one’s own death tends to be in X-books. (Domino #3)

I feel like Domino’s powers have a sense of humor. (Domino #3)

Domino may be an member of X-Force, but she learned how to enter rooms from X-Factor. (Domino #3)

I… but… what? (Domino #3)

Oof. (Domino #3)

PUCK WHY WOULD YOU DRESS LIKE THAT (Domino #3)

NEXT TIME: D’Spayre.

377 – Sam Hill

July 3, 2022 Jay 12 comments

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In which Domino’s miniseries earns a grade of “present”; Miles gets to know Sam Hill; Domino trades pouches for boots; and we would prefer that you not sexualize Lady Deathstrike.

X-PLAINED:

Halloween Jack
Domino (Neena Thurman)
Domino #1-3
Milo Thurman
The idiomatic Sam Hill
Lady Deathstrike (again)
The Reavers (again)
Pico
Boot pouches
Puck (Eugene Judd)
Dante’s Beatrice
Several Skullbusters
Robot tits
The E.T. Atari game
One way to get out of saying “I love you”
Our unpopular favorites

NEXT EPISODE: Giving in to D’Spayre!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 364 – Department of Pareidolia

February 27, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Meet Department F.66. (Pryde and Wisdom #1)

There are probably simpler ways to leave a note. (Pryde and Wisdom #1)

I legit love this cover. (Pryde and Wisdom #2)

Meet Harold Wisdom. (Pryde and Wisdom #2)

AND THEN THEY JUST STAY IN THE ROOM (Pryde and Wisdom #2)

Meet Romany Wisdom. (Pryde and Wisdom #2)

BEHOLD: A MAN STONE.

Just as well that it’s not important, as we’ll never learn what it is. (Pryde and Wisdom #3)

NOPE. (Pryde and Wisdom #3)

NEXT EPISODE: Space Adventures!

364 – Department of Pareidolia

February 27, 2022 Jay 16 comments

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In which we lie extensively about how comics schedules work; the Mystery School is clearly a backdoor pitch; the Wisdom family has a lot going on; red dyes fade fast; and we (roughly) calculate the odds of Cyclops having a good day.

X-PLAINED:

Marvel’s KISS comics
Pryde and Wisdom #1-3
Age
Cheerful hissing
Jardine
A serial killer
Department F66/The Mystery School
Stoats
Kill Your Boyfriend
Several skeletons
Harold Wisdom
Serial disambiguation
Inconsistent use of inhibitor guns
Romany Wisdom
A man stone
Distinctive hair
Some woman who seems important but never gets a name or follow-up
John Gideon
The Tube
The inexplicable evolution of Romany Wisdom
How not to end your miniseries
Forgotten friendships
The relative odds of Cyclops having a good day

NEXT EPISODE: Space Adventures!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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