Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: miniseries

As Mentioned in Episode 313 – Iguanafall

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Not even close, but go on. (Storm #1)
Spoiler: no. (Storm #1)
That is some weird-ass product placement. (Storm #1)
This is the worst panel. I hate it and everything it stands for. (Storm #1)
SERIOUSLY LOOK AT THOSE TEETH THIS IS NOT OKAY (Storm #1)
You’d think that context might salvage it. You would be wrong. (Storm #1)
The best character in this miniseries. (Storm #2)
Coooool. (Storm #2)
Misdirection or mistake? YOU BE THE JUDGE! (Storm #1)
I guess this counts as a malicious pose, but I feel like its main victims are her spine and ribcage. (Storm #2)
Hi, Callisto! Bye, Callisto! (Storm #2)
I refuse to accept this as “Daddy.” (Storm #2)
ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew (Storm #3)
Yeah, I don’t quite get it, either. (Storm #3)
“And I TRIPLE-DARE YOU!” (Storm #4)
Somewhere in the multiverse, there’s a timeline where Aidan Quinn was cast as Cable, and I want to go there. (Storm #4)
THIS IS NOT A GOOD WAY TO DISPOSE OF A BOMB WHOSE CONTENTS YOU DO NOT KNOW. (Storm #4)
Damn, Storm. Harsh. (Storm #4)
SURE WHY NOT LET’S JUST GO WITH THAT (Storm #4)
Really? You’re going to end your miniseries HERE? (Storm #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Jay has a lot of feelings about this issue of X-Factor

LINKS & FURTHER REPTILES:

313 – Iguanafall

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which sky pirates are the best pirates; Wolverine eats chicken in the woods; Xavier’s area loses its status as our least favorite panel; Cable is suspiciously credulous; we search in vain for a consistent metaphor; Storm has a thing or two to learn about restorative justice; and this entire miniseries should probably just have been an annual.

X-PLAINED:

  • Storm’s pirate adventures
  • Storm #1-4
  • Mark Trail
  • The Morlocks (more) (again)
  • Unacceptable gradients
  • Butt murder
  • Fashion
  • Several memes of yesteryear
  • Product placement
  • The new Worst Panel
  • Several variations on the Ceremony of Light
  • How not to identify a body
  • The Hill (Limbo)
  • “Daddy”
  • The inconsistent portrayals of Mikhail Rasputin
  • Still more members of Gene Nation
  • A new costume
  • The most obscure stories we’ve covered
  • That time Wolverine at his own arm

NEXT EPISODE: Jay’s favorite issue of X-Factor (and some others)!

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As Mentioned in Episode 280 – Business-Casual Basilisk

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Agent Coulson of Earth-1218 is mostly in it for the belly rubs.
What you see is what you get; and what you get is a large man with large guns and large feelings. (Bishop #1)
The gravitas of the X.S.E. is somewhat undercut by the fact that Bishop’s gun very clearly uses Nerf ammo. (Bishop #1)
You see what I mean about the shirt, right? (Bishop #1)
Do you think the other future criminals made fun of Mountjoy for not wearing a bunch of neon or having a mullet? (Bishop #1)
Bishop X-plains Mountjoy. (Bishop #1)
This effect is so creepy! (Bishop #1)
It’s okay, buddy. We’ve all been there. Sort of. Not really. (Bishop #2)
The utter disconnect between the expressions in this one is such a good detail. (Bishop #2)
TFW your holographic sister will not sit like a normal person on your futuristic bladed motorcycle. (Bishop #2)
Additional evidence against Hancock being Cyclops: he probably wouldn’t imply that his optic blasts generate heat. (Bishop #3)
Mountjoy is everyone! (Bishop #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Callasantos family reunion!

280 – Business-Casual Basilisk

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the future is not great at codenames; spot foil is cool as hell; Mountjoy is bafflingly business-themed; Bishop goes full Point Break; Jean Grey and Lorna Dane should absolutely be friends; and Jay & Miles are heading to ECCC 2020!

X-PLAINED:

  • Lola vs. L.O.L.A.
  • A very good cat
  • Bishop #1-4
  • Lucas Bishop
  • Earth-1191
  • X.S.E.
  • A surprising convergence
  • Guilt
  • Bantam
  • Mountjoy
  • Some terrible banter
  • Several nontraditional modes of possession
  • Shard Bishop
  • How the kids talk these days
  • Hancock
  • Fashion of the future
  • A complex ethical struggle

NEXT EPISODE: More Cats references.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 247 – The Butt-Kick Scale

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
In French, Sabretooth’s name is “Dents du Sabre,” and it’s not nearly as menacing. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)
“Fetch the pestridder, Birdy–We’ve got ninjas in the rutabagas.” (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)
As seen in Marvel vs. Capcom !(Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)
Sabretooth is a terrible boss, but marginally better than the Hand, maybe, I guess. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)
Ah, yes, the sound of telepathic soothing: PHOOOOOO. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)
Note the arms and the axe. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)
TURBO-SABRETOOTH! (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)
Tribune: Banker. Politician. Pundit. Supervillain. Definitely about to go to BotCon cosplaying his OC. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)
This series has consistently excellent covers. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #2)
I was going to make an Elements of Style joke based on that sound effect, but it seemed like kind of a stretch. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #2)
HI, MYSTIQUE! (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #2)
Do you think Mystique spends an inordinate amount of time researching who from the pasts of people she knows will make them the most uncomfortable? Probably. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #2)
I’m not saying this is peak Mystique; but I’m also not saying it’s not. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #2)
Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3: Large Angry Men Yelling!
TEETH. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3)
I appreciate this panel so damn much. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3)
“Look at us: just a pair of stone cold badasses doing stone-cold badass stuff.” (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3)
‘Kay. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3)
HOW DID HE FIT THE PAULDRONS UNDER THE TUXEDO? (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3)
I love that Mystique still has her cigarette holder. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3)
rghrargh (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #4)
OKAY THEN (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #4)
YEP THIS SURE IS HAPPENING (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #4)
AND SO IS THIS (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #4)
SURE WHY NOT (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #4)
AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER PROBABLY (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #4)
NEXT EPISODE: There should be leprechauns, and there aren’t, and I’m still angry about it.

And now, for your edutainment, a selection of Mark Trail panels, presented in no particular order:

LINKS & FURTHER WOODLAND CREATURES:

  • Experience the magic of Mark Trail for yourself.
  • If Jay wrote a Mark Trail parody Twitter account–which we’re certainly not admitting that he does–it would probably read exactly like this one.
  • The D- Poems of Jeremy Bloom is one of many delightful novels by Gordon Korman, who was a mainstay of Jay’s childhood. (It’s so weird that there are Bruno & Boots movies now!)

 

 

247 – The Butt-Kick Scale

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Hand probably doesn’t even offer dental; literally everyone is less creepy than the Joker and Harley Quinn; toxic masculinity is Sabretooth’s adamantium; Mark Trail is a wild ride; Wolverine trashes the dress code and gets funky; Larry Hama is your god now; and Sabretooth: Death Hunt scores a solid six on the butt-kick scale.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mark Trail vs. X-Men
  • Sabretooth (Victor Creed)
  • Clones of Sabretooth
  • Birthday traditions
  • Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1-4
  • Ps[i don’t remember; that one guy]
  • Low-context ninjas
  • A somewhat tasteful omission, I guess
  • The glow (and its counterintuitive sound effect)
  • Turbo Sabretooth
  • Tribune (Graydon Creed)
  • Mark Trail
  • Affirmations with Sabretooth
  • “Leni Zauber”
  • Dress codes
  • The butt-kick scale
  • A tearaway tuxedo
  • Dubious grenade handling
  • Parenting with Mystique
  • One thing Wolverine knows
  • The CHK-LIT gun
  • Comics bankers
  • A very qualified recommendation
  • Our preferred versions of Sabretooth’s origin
  • Relative redeemability

NEXT EPISODE: Siena Blaze and the Mystery of the Missing Leprechauns!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 245 – Natural Causes

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I love this cover, and I love this series. (Rogue #1)
I wonder if she just kisses planes every once in a while just in case one turns out to be a Transformer. (Rogue #1)
And that’s how we deal with street harassers. (Rogue #1)
Rogue’s backstory has stayed remarkably consistent over the years, especially by X-Men standards. (Rogue #1)
Gambit’s awkward facial expressions in this series are absolutely delightful. (Rogue #1)
Oh. THIS guy. (Rogue #1)
Meanwhile in a late ’80s music video… (Rogue #1)
The Assassins’ guild has the weirdest cell phone plans. (Rogue #1)
Gambit gets a lot more interesting when you realize his flirting is largely performative. (Rogue #2)
The uncontested champions of Pairs’ Punching! (Rogue #2)
Oh, hell, yeah. (Rogue #2)
As a responsible teacher, Wolverine makes sure to brief all his students about Inverse Ninja Law. (Rogue #3)
“I WAS coming up with new cheers, but den you showed up on dat motorcycle.” (Rogue #3)
I didn’t notice this my first time through, but what the HELL is going on with Lapin’s facial hair? (Rogue #3)
Oh. Hell. Yeah. (Rogue #3)
OH HELL YEAH (Rogue #4)
Seriously, why is Cody eight years old? (Rogue #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Pointy boys, yelling!

LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES:

245 – Natural Causes

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Rogue flouts air traffic regulations; Jay is very sorry for how badly he butchers Gambit’s accent; stealth is directly proportionate to how loudly you dress; Rogue and Gambit win the gold in Pairs Punchin’; Candra is a big jerk; you should ABSOLUTELY NOT remove an impaled object; Rogue busts through some tropes; and we have complicated feelings about the Ultimate universe.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rogue’s biological parents
  • Marvel New Orleans
  • Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
  • Rogue/rogue disambiguation
  • Rogue #1-4
  • Bella Donna Boudreaux
  • What may or may not happen if Rogue kisses a Transformer
  • Cody Robbins (again)
  • Natural causes
  • Supervillain funeral crashers (again)
  • Inverse Ninja Law (Law of Conservation of Ninjutsu)
  • The Bill the Pony incident
  • Relative culpability
  • Nature vs. nurture
  • Tante Mattie (Mattie Baptiste)
  • Candra’s new threads
  • How long it takes to drive from Westchester, NY, to Caledcott, MI
  • How Jay learned to love Gambit (but not to stop worrying)
  • Gris-Gris
  • Lapin
  • Fifolet
  • Punching hallucinations
  • Questa
  • Knives as superpowers
  • Inversions of several gendered superhero tropes
  • Closure
  • The limits of intent
  • Magnetos’ (sometimes) kids’ hair
  • Whether we’ll cover Ultimate X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Spiky boys, yelling!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 242 – Spider-Mansfield Park

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Okay, then. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)
…Actually, yeah, it does kind of look like Jello. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)
Flash Thompson should probably not be left in charge of children. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)
These charming reprobates. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)
This is also what he does when he sees someone parked illegally. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)
I’m not sure exactly what is happening with Havok’s hair in this panel, but it is not okay. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)
I bet JJJ smells like an ashtray, like, ALL the time. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)
Spider-Man: He’s Not Phil (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)
“Seriously, have you MET us?” (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #2)
He looks like such a reprobate. It’s great. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #2)
“By the hoary hosts of Hearst!” (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)
“In other breaking news, I have bizarrely tiny hands!” (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)
Aw, poor Mirrorfacemaskperson. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)
I really thought I was losing my mind briefly; but compare Havok’s hair on this page… (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)
…and the subsequent page. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)
It’s like a fight, right? (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)
WHOOPS. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)
NEXT EPISODE: Then…
…and now!

LINKS & FURTHER DIVERSIONS:

242 – Spider-Mansfield Park

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we encounter one of comics’ greatest rarities; Spider-Man cannot actually do whatever a spider can; Flash Thompson subscribes to the X-Factor school of child endangerment; alliteration is the source of a very specific sort of powers; Spider-Man is not Phil; guilt is Spider-Man’s greatest motivator; we root for the antagonists; Guido Carosella would be an epic Twitter monster; a lot of people have hung out with the X-Men; and Glob Herman is a lovable, gross mystery.

X-PLAINED:

  • Spider-Man / X-Men Crossovers
  • Other media we have consumed recently
  • Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games
  • What a spider can do
  • What Spider-Man can do
  • Shadow Force
  • Hard Time
  • Airborne
  • Oversize
  • Firefight
  • Ambush
  • Mirrorshade
  • JELLO Jigglers(TM)
  • Journalistic alliteration
  • The government
  • A comfortable fictional jacket
  • How to find Flash Thompson
  • Many sound effects
  • The untimely death of Mirrorshade
  • Why we’re not covering the Captain Marvel movie
  • Glob Herman’s powers

NEXT EPISODE: Somehow we been doing this for FIVE WHOLE YEARS?!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!