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As Mentioned in Episode 134 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival

Listen to the episode here.



Here are the lyrics to all thirty-nine verses of Dear Mister Sinister (you’ll have to hit Tea or Scott up for the chords):

Dear Mister Sinister
My name is Alex; I’ve
Got a school project
I hope you can help with
 
My teacher said we have to
Map out our families
Parents and grandparents
Brothers and sisters
 
She gave us poster board
She gave us markers, but
I’m having trouble with
Several specifics
 
You see, I’m adopted
But I’ve got a brother
We used to have parents
We don’t anymore
 
Dad’s name was Christopher
Mom’s name was Katherine
Dad’s mom and dad were named
Philip and Deborah
 
That part is easy, the
Trouble’s my brother, see
His name is Scott and he’s
Kind of a pain
 
But that’s not the problem, the
Problem is Maddy and
Nathan and Rachel and
Also some time travel
 
Maddy is Scott’s ex, and
Nathan’s their son, he
Grew up in the future
And Scott and Jean raised him
 
Jean is another ex
Maddy’s her clone, but
Jean’s also the Phoenix
Except so is Rachel
 
Rachel’s Scott’s kid
(with Jean not with Maddy)
She’s Mother Askani
Or she will be someday
 
(‘Cept Scott’s not her father
At least, not my brother
Because she was born in
An alternate timeline
 
That said, her parentage
Is somewhat hazy; it
Involves the Phoenix and
Parthenogenesis)
 
Rachel cloned Nathan in
Case of emergency
That clone is Stryfe; he
Was raised by Apocalypse
 
Nathan’s got Hope
Who is also adopted
(She isn’t a clone, though
Her last name was Spalding)
 
His son was named Tyler
But Wolverine killed him
And then we all kind of
Forgot he’d existed
 
But that’s Nathan Summers
Nate Grey’s someone different
He’s kind of like Rachel, but
From a worse timeline
 
Nate is a clone or grew
Up in a test tube; And
You might have raised him (Well,
Not you, exactly)
 
And now Scott’s with Emma
And Ruby’s their daughter, at
Least in one future where
Scott is a cyborg
 
They also have kids from
A different timeline; a
daughter named Meagan
With twin baby sisters
 
I married Jan in an
Alternate future and
We had a daughter but
Kang started meddling
 
Our daughter’s named Katie
Or will be or was, and
Her timeline is gone and
It’s kind of an issue
 
Did I forget Hepzibah?
She’s Dad’s new girlfriend, ’cause
Dad’s alive after all
And he’s a space pirate
 
Speaking of space stuff, I
Should mention Gabriel
My younger brother, at
Least ’til I killed him
 
He was born after mom died
And aged artificially
He married Deathbird and
Then he killed Dad again
 
Deathbird was pregnant
The Kree got involved and now;
No one is certain if
She’s given birth yet
 
Oh! And I should tell you
That I am some sort of
Multiversal nexus
Which complicates matters
 
See, there’s also Scotty
(My son, not my brother)
Well, not mine exactly
A parallel Alex’s
 
And that Alex married
a Madelyne Pryor
Who in this dimension
Is Scott’s ex-wife Maddy
 
(I mean Scott, my brother,
Of whom there are two now
And one is sixteen it’s
Incredibly awkward)
 
I’m also supposed
To trace my name’s history
That’s also a problem, see,
‘Cause there’s a time loop
 
‘Cause once Scott went back to
The late Nineteenth Century
To thwart a villain
Or something like that
 
And he saved a guy who
I think was your prisoner
His surname name was Edge, but
He changed it to Summers
 
He came to the States and he’s
My twice-great granddad, which
All seems a bit too
Complex for a poster
 
That’s why I am writing; see,
Your machinations are
Largely at fault for the
Mess that I’m in
 
I used to blame Scott but
It’s really not his fault
You’re clearly the one
Who was pulling the strings
 
Out of some weird obsession
With all our genetics
(Well, less so with mine, but
It’s still pretty creepy)
 
I mean, you cloned Scott’s girlfriend
And kidnapped my nephew
The least you can do is
Help me diagram this
 
Yours very sincerely,
Alex “Havok” Summers
(Scott’s younger brother)
(In case you’d forgotten)
 
Dear Mister Sinister
My name is Alex; I’ve
Got a school project
I hope you can help with
 

134 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival (feat. Scott Koblish)

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Deadpool and X-Men ’92 artist Scott Koblish joins us to present the Summers Family Tree as you’ve never experienced it before; the X-Men go to Dante’s Hell; Dr. Strange gets his Virgil on; Wolverine sniffs snakes; Iceman has probably killed a lot of people; and X-Men fans have remained remarkably consistent over the years.

X-PLAINED

  • The Summers family
  • Birthdays at the Xavier mansion
  • A package as sinister as it is stylish
  • Uncanny X-Men King-Size Annual #4
  • One version of Hell
  • A demon who is also a sorting hat
  • Another X-Men crossover conspiracy theory
  • The X-Men’s religious affiliations and lack thereof
  • Nuance of self-narration
  • Snakes with arms, and the vocalizations thereof
  • Dangers of encasing people in ice
  • The death of Stefan Szardos
  • An overly complex revenge plot
  • The origin of that one angry mob from Giant-Size X-Men #1
  • Kinda-incest
  • Reader responses to the Dark Phoenix Saga
  • X-Men vs. board games
  • The appeal of the Outback X-Men
  • Artist-character associations

NEXT EPISODE: Kurt Wagner: Warlord… of our hearts!


DEAR MISTER SINISTER lyrics by Jay Edidin & music by Tea Fougner. Performed by Scott Koblish.


You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 112 – Embers of Inferno (feat. Sam Humphries)

Listen to the episode here!


112 – Embers of Inferno (feat. Sam Humphries)

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which we cover (almost) all of the Inferno tie-ins with the help of writer Sam Humphries; the Marvel Universe used to be really X-Centric; Jarvis is unstoppable; Daredevil fights a vacuum cleaner; it’s probably best not to ask about the whole Celestial Madonna thing; Power Pack gets incredibly upsetting; working in comics makes you appreciate crossovers on a whole new level; and we’d all really have liked to have seen Guy Davis’s Inferno.

X-PLAINED:

  • Peter Quill’s brief music career
  • Widget
  • The Amazing Spider-Man #311-313
  • Spectacular Spider-Man #146-148
  • Web of Spider-Man #47-48
  • Avengers #298-300
  • Power Pack #42-44
  • Daredevil #262, 263, 265
  • Cloak and Dagger (vol. 3) #4
  • Fantastic Four #322-324
  • Inferno, as a whole
  • The fate of Madelyne Pryor
  • Jay’s Madelyne Pryor song
  • How working in comics taught us to appreciate crossovers
  • Our ideal Inferno artists

NEXT EPISODE: So. Much. Wolverine.


You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

The Lila Cheney music video will steal your heart

Dazzler’s great and all, but if you know us, you know our hearts belong to a different X-Universe rock star: Joan Jett lookalike and intergalactic super-thief Lila Cheney. So, when director Arvin Bautista–part of the team behind that amazing Dazzler video that dropped last year–dropped a line to let us know that their next project was going to feature Lila, we were pretty excited.

The video–“I Will Steal Your Heart,” embedded above, finally dropped today. And y’all.

Y’all.

I know you have jobs, and classes. I know you have responsibilities, and commutes. But please, whatever you’re doing, put it aside. Close your office door. Get a hall pass. Pull over. (Seriously, though, why are you reading blogs while driving? Don’t do that.) And then watch this video, because it is amazing.

There are New Mutants! Stevie freakin’ Hunter! Intergalactic heists! In-over-his-head Cannonball! Really, really catchy music! (Also some possibly recognizable t-shirts, and maybe some of your faces, if you were among the folks who responded to the casting call back in November!) And we’d be remiss not to mention Sage Montclair’s absolutely splendid performance as a super kickass Lila Cheney.

You can find more on both the Lila and Dazzler videos, as well as info about the folks behind ’em, production stills, &c. over at http://www.superheropop.com/

 

As Mentioned in Episode 60 – Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Listen to the podcast here!



LINKS AND FURTHER READING LISTENING:

60 – Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Rachel Summers went to sleep with Wolverine’s claws in her dreams and now there’s claws in her lungs and when she got out of bed this morning she tripped on her traumatic backstory and by mistake she dropped the Phoenix Force in the sink while the water was running and she could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

X-PLAINED:

  • Freedom Force
  • Supervillains’ day jobs
  • Uncanny X-Men #206-209
  • The X-Men’s first brief tenure in San Francisco
  • Terrible house guests
  • Lindsay McCabe
  • David Ishima
  • Bree Morrell
  • A metaphorical ghost story
  • Lycanthropy, but dumber
  • The crossing of several ethical lines
  • Death by narrative stasis (and also impaling)
  • Craft night at the Hellfire Club
  • Death by costume satin (and also heart failure)
  • One way to write someone out of a book
  • Our favorite Summers kids
  • X-Music

Special thanks to Elle Collins

NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants break your heart.


You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Merry Mutant Melodies

Here in the X-Pert Cave, we hew to some fairly specific Christmas Eve traditions, but if you’re at a loss for how to ring in the holiday, listener Mike Joyner sent us this 1990 gem: official X-mas carols, from What The? #7. (Click through for high-res.)

(If anyone actually takes these caroling, please send us videos, because that would be AMAZING.)

merrymutantmelodies