Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 134 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival

Listen to the episode here.

Here are the lyrics to all thirty-nine verses of Dear Mister Sinister (you’ll have to hit Tea or Scott up for the chords):

Dear Mister Sinister
My name is Alex; I’ve
Got a school project
I hope you can help with
My teacher said we have to
Map out our families
Parents and grandparents
Brothers and sisters
She gave us poster board
She gave us markers, but
I’m having trouble with
Several specifics
You see, I’m adopted
But I’ve got a brother
We used to have parents
We don’t anymore
Dad’s name was Christopher
Mom’s name was Katherine
Dad’s mom and dad were named
Philip and Deborah
That part is easy, the
Trouble’s my brother, see
His name is Scott and he’s
Kind of a pain
But that’s not the problem, the
Problem is Maddy and
Nathan and Rachel and
Also some time travel
Maddy is Scott’s ex, and
Nathan’s their son, he
Grew up in the future
And Scott and Jean raised him
Jean is another ex
Maddy’s her clone, but
Jean’s also the Phoenix
Except so is Rachel
Rachel’s Scott’s kid
(with Jean not with Maddy)
She’s Mother Askani
Or she will be someday
(‘Cept Scott’s not her father
At least, not my brother
Because she was born in
An alternate timeline
That said, her parentage
Is somewhat hazy; it
Involves the Phoenix and
Rachel cloned Nathan in
Case of emergency
That clone is Stryfe; he
Was raised by Apocalypse
Nathan’s got Hope
Who is also adopted
(She isn’t a clone, though
Her last name was Spalding)
His son was named Tyler
But Wolverine killed him
And then we all kind of
Forgot he’d existed
But that’s Nathan Summers
Nate Grey’s someone different
He’s kind of like Rachel, but
From a worse timeline
Nate is a clone or grew
Up in a test tube; And
You might have raised him (Well,
Not you, exactly)
And now Scott’s with Emma
And Ruby’s their daughter, at
Least in one future where
Scott is a cyborg
They also have kids from
A different timeline; a
daughter named Meagan
With twin baby sisters
I married Jan in an
Alternate future and
We had a daughter but
Kang started meddling
Our daughter’s named Katie
Or will be or was, and
Her timeline is gone and
It’s kind of an issue
Did I forget Hepzibah?
She’s Dad’s new girlfriend, ’cause
Dad’s alive after all
And he’s a space pirate
Speaking of space stuff, I
Should mention Gabriel
My younger brother, at
Least ’til I killed him
He was born after mom died
And aged artificially
He married Deathbird and
Then he killed Dad again
Deathbird was pregnant
The Kree got involved and now;
No one is certain if
She’s given birth yet
Oh! And I should tell you
That I am some sort of
Multiversal nexus
Which complicates matters
See, there’s also Scotty
(My son, not my brother)
Well, not mine exactly
A parallel Alex’s
And that Alex married
a Madelyne Pryor
Who in this dimension
Is Scott’s ex-wife Maddy
(I mean Scott, my brother,
Of whom there are two now
And one is sixteen it’s
Incredibly awkward)
I’m also supposed
To trace my name’s history
That’s also a problem, see,
‘Cause there’s a time loop
‘Cause once Scott went back to
The late Nineteenth Century
To thwart a villain
Or something like that
And he saved a guy who
I think was your prisoner
His surname name was Edge, but
He changed it to Summers
He came to the States and he’s
My twice-great granddad, which
All seems a bit too
Complex for a poster
That’s why I am writing; see,
Your machinations are
Largely at fault for the
Mess that I’m in
I used to blame Scott but
It’s really not his fault
You’re clearly the one
Who was pulling the strings
Out of some weird obsession
With all our genetics
(Well, less so with mine, but
It’s still pretty creepy)
I mean, you cloned Scott’s girlfriend
And kidnapped my nephew
The least you can do is
Help me diagram this
Yours very sincerely,
Alex “Havok” Summers
(Scott’s younger brother)
(In case you’d forgotten)
Dear Mister Sinister
My name is Alex; I’ve
Got a school project
I hope you can help with


  1. Another great episode, the opening song a big highlight, back in the past when all things seemed possible.

    It’s funny, I only vaguely remember this annual…I think I read a friend’s copy back in the day. That whole Amanda Sefton reveal is…that’s pretty weird, right? I mean, yes, she isn’t actually related to him genetically, but STILL. Also: “Oboy!” is really not the OK reaction here, Kurt.

    This is my iteration of the X-Men, though, so, you know…nostalgia. Yes, Cyclops has just left and Kitty is technically not on fully on deck, but still.

    Amanda Sefton is still bouncing around the MU, right? It feels like she didn’t leave the X-Men so much as dropped out of sight following Fall of the Mutants. It’s also and indicator of how different releases were that a revelation like this would occur in the annual (but was treated as if it was in the normal continuity timeline).

    It’s interesting to see how tightly the continuity was still maintained that they could even do that, something that Marvel editorial really isn’t managing (stuff like Secret Wars, Civil War II and so forth ending well after the events fallout has hit subsequent titles.

    1. I’m too lazy to check, but Amanda was one of the main characters in the last X-men episode of the podcast, wasn’t she? Which if I don’t have my crossovers confused is covers issues several years later than Fall of the Mutants.

    2. She was a character in the recent Nightcrawler series. Unfortunately at the moment I believe she’s trapped outside the universe.

    3. She took the name Daytripper and joined Excalibur during the Warren Ellis run which was a long way after the Fall of the Mutants. As mentioned, she’s also showed up in Nightcrawler’s recent series.

  2. I love that Excalibur cover, with Kurt and I think Meggan buying all into the whole John Carter/Frank Frazetta side of the whole thing, while Kitty and Rachel are all “You know what I want right now? Pants.”

    1. That’s Kymri, who’s not actually Kurt’s love interest in this story but is totally kickass awesome and definitely leaning into the Frazetta vibe! =D

    1. Yes, Tyler is Tolliver after some time travel and “Long thought dead but actually corrupted” shenanigans… he also went by the name Genesis for a while.

      (No one seems entirely sure whether his genetic father is Cable or Stryfe… which must have made Father’s Day terribly awkward, but Cable was the one to raise him)

      Just reading his wiki I can see why he was omitted, as he’d need fourteen more verses all to himself.

  3. Ooh that one annual! I remember when I first read that I was completely freaked out by it, I thought it was incredibly creepy, especially the part where Storm switches bodies with a snake, and also the tentacle monster in the Danger Room. Nightcrawler dating his adopted sister really didn’t bother me at all, though, for some reason? It still doesn’t much to this day, they’re not blood siblings, I can’t really see the issue.

    Also I’d just like to throw in that you can totally sing Dear Mister Sinister to the tune of Dear Mr. President by P!nk.

    1. I think the general weirdness with Kurt and Amanda is that they were raised to think of each other as brother and sister, whether they were or not.

      Margali raised Kurt from his infancy, so her family was his family, her other children his siblings. I’m not even sure _when_ he found out that he was adopted as opposed to Margali’s genetic child like his brother and sister.

      So there’s no genetic issue no, but emotionally they were raised to view each other as siblings from Kurt’s first memories on, and for that to abruptly slide into sexual involvement without either seeming remotely bothered, does seem more than a bit… off.

  4. Wowwww ,,(!!) , LOVED the song! 😀 epic

    yes one of my ALL TIME FAV X-MOMENTS: Wolv giving NC the self portrait, while munching away on the GIANT turkey leg 😛 😀

    Great EP / Thank u

  5. I hope you were getting good audience feedback, it’s probably just the mike and sound system at the venue, but there’s no real sound evident coming from the (hopefully large) crowd in the room, other than the Q&A bits, so it seems slightly eerily quiet at times.

  6. This was an amazing episode. Jay and Miles… I love you.
    I will not lie. I had a few drinks and I’m from the future. By the future I mean I listened to some episodes in the future and this reply will come in the future for the rest of you… These are my mutant powers and I only use them for good. I’m sure I’ll get a Soulsword and a cool story about Limbo or something but I digress… (Illyana is the coolest!)
    I think that this show means a lot to a lot of people including me and I thank you both for doing it.

  7. This is a good start, but I feel like, “Dear Mister Sinister,” needs a verse where Alex mentions the letter was sent via Jahf and the M’Kraan crystal. How else could he have looked through time to the future when his brother was old enough to have a son while he was still in school? Unless… did any Silver Age villains also come along to delay child Alex from finishing elementary school? Maybe Apocalypse’s Four Horseman of the Playground?

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