Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 229 – Giant-Size Special #7

Listen to the episode here.


Click through for Corbeau Awards and song lyrics!


  • Best Writer: Tom Taylor, for All-New Wolverine and X-Men Red
  • Best Line Artist: German Peralta, for the “Past Fears” arc of Cable
  • Best Colorist: Felipe Sobreiro, for Generation X
  • Best Ongoing Solo Series: Iceman
  • Best Ongoing Duo Series: Mr. & Mrs. X
  • Best Ongoing Team Series: X-Men Red
  • Best One-Shot: X-Men Holiday Special
  • Irene Adler Memorial Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Series: The Amazing Nightcrawler, by Seanan McGuire and Juan Frigeri
  • How-Was-This-So-Good? Award for a Premise That Shouldn’t Have Worked But Did: Infinity Wars: Weapon Hex
  • Cyclops Has A Good Day: Extermination #5
  • Best Callback: Chip Zdarsky, for “The Gift That Keeps on Giving”
  • Phoenix Award for Best Resurrection: Jean Grey
  • The Hero We Need: Adam Gorham, for tirelessly championing Shatterstar’s butt; and Leah Williams, for making everything gay
  • One Day This Will Be a Cold Open: Multiple Man
  • May Parker Memorial Scholarship for Superheroes Based in Queens: Shatterstar
  • False Foreshadowing: Wang Beams
  • “Orison” Award for Most Awkwardly Blatant Euphemism: Hand-holding as an incest stand-in in The Gifted
  • It’s Complicated Award for Intriguing but Uncomfortable Story Elements: Psylocke going back to her original body
  • About Damn Time: Seanan McGuire writing X-books
  • Best Non-X Marvel Title: West Coast Avengers
  • We Just Really Wanted to Give This an Award: Into the Spider-Verse

Classic Corbeaus

  • Buried Treasure: Wolverine: Killing
  • Why Havok Didn’t Finish His Dissertation This Year: The Government
  • Turbine Manacle Award: Fixing broken jaws by gluing things to people’s faces
  • This Is How We Live Now Award for Most Pervasive Memetic or Lexical Contribution: Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure, for “honkers”
  • Christopher Summers Award for Most Awkward Family Reunion: Lilith & Dracula in X-Men Annual #6
  • The Erik the Red Award for Justifying the Existence of This Podcast: X-Cutioner’s Song
  • Future Past Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Series Coverage: Generation X
  • Body & Soul Award for Furthering the Narrative Evolution of the X-Line: Fabian Nicieza (Uncanny X-Men, X-Force)
  • The Thank God Its Not The Thundercats Award for Beloved Childhood Character or Concept That Actually Holds Up Decades Later: Lucas Bishop
  • All That For Nothin’: Fabian Nicieza, for New Warriors 31
  • Dear Diary Award for Character Who Knows None of You Will Ever Understand the Depth of His Pain: Stryfe
  • In-Your-Face-Turn: X-Force
  • Layla Miller Award for Most Improved Character: Cable
  • Picture-in-the-Tapestry Award for Elegant Resolution of Dropped Continuity Threads: Alan Davis, for Excalibur
  • For Me It Was Tuesday Award for Casual Murder: Trevor Fitzroy
  • Do You Have a License for That Award for Dubious Professional Performance: Leonard Sampson, for X-Factor #87
  • Utopia Award for The Homeland We Have Dreamed of for So Long: FlameCon
  • They Don’t Make ‘Em Like That Anymore: Magneto’s obsession with the world’s tiniest man
  • Jay Just Came Here to Have a Good Time and He Is Feeling So Attacked Award for Uncomfortably Relatable Failure: Cyclops running away to Alaska to get out of an awkward conversation in X-Men #20


  • Best Listeners of Any Podcast, Ever: YOU. Seriously, how are you even real?


Lyrics by Jay Edidin; additional dialogue by Matt Gardner and Peter Gresser; performed by Matt Gardner and Peter Gresser

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the X-Men gave to me
Twelve miniseries
Eleven resurrections
Ten Toads a-leaping
Nine Morlocks moping
Eight dupes of Madrox
Seven splintered timelines
Six Summers brothers
Five nasty boys
Four flying steeds
Three henchmen
Two Maximoffs
And a world that hates and fears me


Lyrics by Jay Edidin; performed by Erin and Steve Pence

Oh, you’d better watch out
You might want to hide
Marauders are already lurking outside
Sinister is cloning this town

He’s making a list
And checking it twice
Gonna find out whose genes to splice
Sinister is cloning this town

He knows if you’re a Summers
He knows if you’re a Gray
He knows if you’re an X-Man
And he wants your DNA!

So–you’d better watch out
You might want to hide
Marauders are already lurking outside
Sinister is cloning
Sinister is cloning
Sinister is cloning
Sinister is cloning this town


Lyrics by Jay Edidin; performed by Tina Carleton

I saw Wolvie killing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
He didn’t see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep
He thought that I was tucked up
In my bedroom, fast asleep

Then I saw Wolvie stabbing Santa Claus
He went blue beneath his beard so snowy white
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Mystique had only seen
Wolvie killing Santa Claus last night


Lyrics by Jay Edidin; performed by Erin Pence

I’m not interested in X-Men
There is just one thing I need
I don’t care about Avengers
Johnny Storm, or Sue and Reed

I don’t need a Shi’ar empire
Let alone a a bunch of Kree
Starjammers won’t make me happy
Secret Skrulls are not for me

I just want a friend from orbit
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas
Is Broo

Oh, I won’t ask for much this Christmas
Hanukkah, Twelfth Night, or Yule
And I’m just gonna keep on waiting
Out here by the Jean Grey School

I won’t make a list and send it
To New York for Charlie X
I won’t wait for super-speed or
Hope to see a scarlet hex

Though I know it’s unorthodox
Opening Pandora’s Box
What more can I do?
‘Cause baby all I want for Christmas is Broo


Lyrics by Jay Edidin; performed by Erin and Steve Pence

Angel, we have heard, is high
Swooping laz’ly through the air
Warren Kenneth Worthington,
Get your stoned ass down from there


  1. I’m only half way through, but Sinister is Cloning This Town was so good, I had to stop the episode and tell you! Brilliantly hilarious. On a more sober note, I loved all the stuff you pulled out from Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix (which I reread in advance of listening to the episode), but my favourite line – which is worth repeating – is Rachel telling Nate ‘Of course you can. You’re a Summers. You can.. do anything.’ Happy New Year!

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