Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: mutates

As Mentioned in Episode 479 – Nancy Drew and the Secret of Carrion Cove

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Jay’s not wrong that the buildings look like giant dildos… but at least they look like fancy dildos! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
Starring: a bunch of fashionable jerks, mostly! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
Not a good look when your cops look just like the cops who used to oppress you… (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
Magneto: Master of Magnetism and Monologues! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
okay but what about the chest-skull (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
That floaty platform has a heated floor, blind spot monitoring, and built-in GPS. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
For all your chat reaction needs! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
These here comical books are lookin’ pretty comical-booky. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
Magneto talks to… someone! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
We just like this cover. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
Everybody fights everybody! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
In which dust illustrates speed and impact! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
It’s like the portrait-instead-of-landscape version of widescreen storytelling! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
Father of the year. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
To her credit, she does have all the Kirby Krackle. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
Because Mister Sinister is the hidden force behind literally everything. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
Rest in Ponytail, Fabian Cortez. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
“Time to conceive some other on-again, off-again offspring who suck less.” (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
NEXT TIME: X-Man!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

  • That thing about the cooking show and spreader bars and Namor that Jay was talking about
  • Information and pencils from Chris Claremont and Rick Leonardi’s canceled Phoenix miniseries

479 – Nancy Drew and the Secret of Carrion Cove

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In which Genosha gets better and/or worse; Fabian Cortez is the Secretary of Betrayal; having an action figure of yourself is the path to immortality; and Hammer Bay sounds like a sex toy company.

X-PLAINED:

  • Triathlon
  • The Revolution relaunch and the six-month gap
  • Magneto: Dark Seduction #1-4
  • Erotic skyscrapers
  • Magneto (again) (forever)
  • X-Men Tijuana Bibles
  • The Genoshan Cabinet
  • Dark friendship with benefits
  • Polaris’s newfound interest in heavy metal
  • Magneto’s on-again, off-again children
  • Carrion Cove
  • Coloring symbolism and/or errors
  • Spat and Grovel (kind of)
  • Magneto’s ancestral f**k-ghost
  • Socialism!
  • Magneto’s mysterious mind-voice
  • Neal Conan
  • The Avengers of 2000
  • Kirby Krackle
  • Magneto’s smooth arc into villainy
  • Bonking
  • Human nature
  • Rachel Summers in the Body Shoppe
  • Our (lack of) coverage of solo comics

NEXT EPISODE: X-Man!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 478 – The Monologue Tube

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Alan Davis protests the death of Cyclops. (From this link)
X-teams, past to present. (At least the ones who still had comics in 2000.) (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Well, at least this time he’s leaving with someone other than those five motorcycle guys who could turn into a sixth motorcycle guy. (Uncanny X-Men #379)
It really, really isn’t. (Uncanny X-Men #379)
“…why do you call yourself X-Man, anyway?” (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Suddenly, the plot! (Uncanny X-Men #379)
“Sacre blue, non! Our elf ears!” (Uncanny X-Men #379)
“you guys i am so mad right now you have no idea” (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Toad, did you just… have that mirror with you? (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Just a really good cover. (X-Force #101)
That pacing, though. (X-Force #101)
Aww man. (X-Force #101)
We’ve all been there, kid. Well, maybe not exactly there, but like… metaphorically. (X-Force #101)
Meltdown counsels a sad child in a comic by Joseph Harris, part 2. (X-Force #101)
Doctor Wily, is that you? (X-Men #99)
“You wanna play paintball with us?” (X-Men #99)
How does a costume that looks so good when you’re blue look so silly when you’re not? (X-Men #99)
I’m not so sure about this Storm-and-Marrow-as-camp-counselors subplot, but I do love me some soap opera. (X-Men #99)
Businesspeople and bikers: the two genders. (X-Men #99)
Tentacle-guys, demons, and hulks: the three genders. (X-Men #99)
Mystique really misses that lamp. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
Logan may be dying, but his eyebrows are very impressive right now. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
“Plus, they charged us like thirty bucks just to bring a carry-on!” (Uncanny X-Men #380)
The S stands for Sexy. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
We’ve all had that dream, Blob. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
Bye, Alan Davis! It’s been weird but pretty fun! (Uncanny X-Men #380)
NEXT TIME: Magneto versus everybody.

478 – The Monologue Tube

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In which Alan Davis is Team Cyclops; everyone gets depowered; it’s hard to connect with kids your age when you’re a superhero; Sinister’s gotta sinister; everyone gets repowered; and the ‘90s were much more eclectic than they get credit for being.

X-PLAINED:

  • Side effects of Decimation
  • Uncanny X-Men #379-380
  • X-Force #101
  • X-Men #99
  • Cadre K
  • Summers family drama
  • The High Evolutionary (more) (again)
  • The (other) time all the mutants got depowered
  • Kevin
  • A very beautiful book
  • The ongoing mess of Genoshan politics
  • The Neo (slightly)
  • To what extent Logan’s claws are a mutant power
  • Sinister monologues
  • Herbert Evolutionary
  • The New New Men
  • The ‘90s, in general
  • What makes a Morlock

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto: Dark Seduction!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 452 – Hot Nothing

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That can’t be comfortable. (Magneto Rex #1)
One way to put a fire out. (Magneto Rex #1)
Phillip Moreau and Jenny Ransome. (Magneto Rex #1)
This freakin’ loser. (Magneto Rex #1)
The Zealot. (Magneto Rex #1)
Uncool, dude. (Magneto Rex #1)
Ferris endures. (Magneto Rex #2)
“You may have the Legacy Virus, but the L is still for ‘loser.'” (Magneto Rex #2)
This would have been way more dramatic if he’d been naked, right? (Magneto Rex #2)
That’s certainly one way to deal with your problems. (Magneto Rex #3)
That is in fact exactly what he means. (Magneto Rex #3)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!

LINKS & OTHER ACADEMIA:

452 – Hot Nothing

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In which Magneto is not full of mirth; nobody real or fictional likes Fabian Cortez; when you’re a speedster, every problem is a metaphorical nail; The Zealot makes some valid points; and when Quicksilver declares himself your conscience, it’s time to examine your life.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Magneto got his powers back
  • Morally ambiguous hair
  • Genosha (more) (again)
  • Magneto Rex #1-3
  • Magneto vs. Conan
  • Trish Tilby
  • Omniscient narrative condemnation
  • Magneto’s true archfoe
  • Magistrates (more) (again)
  • Mutates (more) (again)
  • Dr. Alda Huxley
  • Phillip Moreau (more) (again)
  • Jenny Ransome (more) (again)
  • Pipeline (Cormac Grimshaw)
  • Teleportational nudity
  • The Zealot
  • Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
  • Amelia Voght (more) (again)
  • Several of Magneto’s on-again-off-again children
  • The Bastille (but not that one)
  • Mutant numbering
  • When to use full frontal nudity in your comic
  • The X-books we’re not covering
  • The Amulet of Right vs the Sword of Might

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 333 – Fight Train

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I’d like to think he leaves her office like this afterwards. (Uncanny X-Men #331)
Just another Thursday on the PATH… (X-Men #51)
TFW you run into your boss outside of work and they make it weird. (X-Men #51)
…Somehow. (X-Men #52)
Remember that name; you’ll be sneering it later. (X-Men #52)
I wasn’t kidding when I said that Sinister kidnapped Bishop to find out if his ships were canon. (X-Men #52)
NEXT EPISODE: Emplate sucks!

333 – Fight Train

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles discovers owl legs; Iceman dwells in subtext; Dark Beast overperforms; Daredevil is a delightful trash fire of a person; Graydon Creed’s presidential run is somewhat less shocking in 2021; Rogue does not enjoy playing ‘Got your nose’; and Mister Sinister is not a friend to public transportation.

X-PLAINED:

  • Post-Decimation resurrections
  • Owl legs
  • Uncanny X-Men #331
  • X-Men #51-52
  • Iceman’s complicated personal life
  • Casual crossovers
  • The facial hair of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
  • The terrible decisions of Matt Murdock
  • How to subtly test your in-laws for mutant powers
  • What Mister Sinister sounds like
  • A bad plan
  • The debut of Bastion
  • DNA
  • Foreshadowing

NEXT EPISODE: Emplate Sucks

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 277 – Hedgehogs of Cairo

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Sauron has hella abs… (X-Men Unlimited #6)
…and apparently a come-hither gaze? (X-Men Unlimited #6)
Sauron’s backstory is a wild ride even by Silver Age standards. (X-Men Unlimited #6)
“Also, I get three mana of any color.” (X-Men Unlimited #6)
That’s our Sauron! (X-Men Unlimited #6)
Karl Lykos is a cheerful guy. (X-Men Unlimited #6)
They say it’s the smell, but I bet the other pterosaurs are actually judging him for his jorts. (X-Men Unlimited #6)
Meanwhile in Cairo… (X-Men Unlimited #7)
It really doesn’t seem like Candra should be able to bend her arms and legs. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
Truly, a fancy beard. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
Urchins: 1, Gambit: 0. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
Later, this kid will be retconned to have been imaginary. Don’t think too hard about it. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
STEALTH! (X-Men Unlimited #7)
X-Men vs. Urchins. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
Seriously, Candra, Storm will stab you in a sewer and not even care. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
NEXT EPISODE: Sex?

LINKS & FURTHER DINOSAURS

277 – Hedgehogs of Cairo

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Sauron is a huge nerd; the Savage Land is where Marvel stores the weird stuff; an etymology detour does not come from the X-Pert you’d expect; and Storm will straight-up stab you.

X-PLAINED:

  • Responsible weapon storage
  • X-Men Unlimited #6-7
  • A very large creative team
  • Sauron (more) (again)
  • Blood-derived powers
  • The Mutates
  • A pterosaur glow-up
  • Achmed El-Gibar
  • Street urchins (and the etymology thereof)
  • How to get a t’ieve mentor
  • Style vs. taste
  • The proportional relationship between knife skills and leadership potential
  • Tattoos vs. healing factors

NEXT EPISODE: Sex?

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!