Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 508 – Destiny’s Doodles

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A quick workout with Charles Xavier. (Uncanny X-Men #389)
At my funeral, I want a kazoo band. (Uncanny X-Men #389)
Joe Mactaggert is a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #389)
Rachel’s actually okay, but Kitty doesn’t know that yet. (Uncanny X-Men #389)
DAMNIT. (Uncanny X-Men #389)
I wonder how weird and specific Destiny’s diaries get. (Uncanny X-Men #389)
Bad times. (Uncanny X-Men #389)
Is this a bit? (X-Men #109)
They’re gonna hook up, and then everyone’s going to forget that Thunderthird ever existed. Poor guy. (X-Men #109)
Ye Olde Hot Chocolate Hall. (X-Men #109)
Seriously, though, what the hell? (X-Men #109)
Oh, my. (X-Men #109)
I love that instead of making the holy family generally mutant-looking, they straight-up used X-Men statues. (X-Men #109)
Coming soon: X-Treme X-Men! (X-Men #109)
Based on size, maybe it’s a box of tissues? (X-Men #109)
Wellp. (X-Men #109)
BEHOLD YOUR LEGACY (X-Men #109)
NEXT EPISODE: Colossus dies!

508 – Destiny’s Doodles

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In which Professor Xavier is a jock; all of Shadowcat’s friends are dead; Storm recruits a team; Bishop makes new pals; and everyone gets festive.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some of Mystique’s secret kids
  • Uncanny X-Men #389
  • X-Men #109
  • Charles Xavier’s workout routine
  • Two funerals
  • Rave (the drug)
  • The wrong necklace
  • Destiny’s doodles
  • A large knife
  • Charles Xavier/Moira MacTaggert backstory
  • A snowball fight
  • A very sketchy circus
  • A break-up
  • “Christmas cheer”
  • A mysterious package
  • An X-Men nativity
  • Sage (Tessa)
  • Origins of X-Treme X-Men
  • Several gifts, some more mysterious than others
  • Charles Xavier’s legacy
  • Warwolves (more) (again)
  • Archangel’s color vision

NEXT EPISODE: Colossus dies!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 506 – The House at the End of the World

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Totally irrelevant to this story, but cool design. (Cable #85)
They have to abbreviate the name for the phone book. (Cable #85)
SMUFF, tho (Cable #85)
This will never come up again, ever. (Cable #85)
Cable’s time suit. (Cable #85)
Gaunt, who is probably actually Kang. (Cable #85)
We are ALWAYS here for awkward Summers family hugs. (Cable #86)
SHIRTS OFF (Cable #86)
Whoops. (Cable #86)
An unlikely frienship. (Cable #88)
What the fuck, Nightcrawler? (Cable #88)
Do you want Major X? Because that’s how you get Major X. (Cable #88)
Here’s to you, Video Renaissance. (Cable #88)
NEXT EPISODE: Two endings.

506 – The House at the End of the World

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In which Jay remains angry at a font; a person who is obviously Kang the Conqueror is not in fact Kang the Conqueror; the pig men deserve better; and Nightcrawler should never, ever, ever be allowed to attempt grief counseling.

X-PLAINED:

  • Storm/Cable
  • Cable #85-86, 88
  • Cable (more)(again)
  • Earth-4935
  • Mother Askani
  • Irene Merryweather
  • Several cryptic witches
  • Are you as dangerous as you think martial arts training for advanced students
  • Shin
  • An unlikely sound effect
  • The Black Dawn
  • A time catapult
  • An End of Time
  • Earth-805110
  • The House on the Borderline
  • Gaunt
  • One of Esad Ribic’s more entertaining accomplishments
  • A fight
  • One way to weaponize the T-O virus
  • The future past of Rachel Summers
  • Cable’s friendship with Moira MacTaggert
  • Streets of Fire
  • Grief counseling? Sort of? I guess?
  • A very impressive spear
  • Our muppet counterparts

NEXT EPISODE: Two endings!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 498 – Home Depot Ossuary

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The Twisted Sisters: “Never heard of ’em.” (X-Men #105)
Torque. Pretty sure that’s not the Invisible Woman in there. (X-Men #105)
Dun dun dun dun dun, Inspector Coil (X-Men #105)
More Logan backstory! MORE! (X-Men #105)
Does Nightcrawler teleport out of his clothes at the end of the day? (X-Men #105)
Psylocke should have worn her unstable cocktail dress. (X-Men #105)
A building sealed with the impenetrable perfection of boards. (X-Men #106)
I submit that if the Neo losing their powers for a few weeks could do this, there maaaaaay have been some flaws with their civilization. (X-Men #106)
Rogue PTUIs for us all. (X-Men #106)
Comics! (X-Men #106)
Just like DARE told us! (X-Men #106)
Hi, new Super Sabre and Crimson Commando! Bye, new Super Saber and Crimson Commando! (X-Men #106)
Behold, the effects of X-Men Forever! (X-Men #106)
Rogue, super spy. (X-Men #106)
Problem solved! (X-Men #106)
Hey, it’s that one scene from the X-Men Evolution intro that’s also that one scene from Buffy the Vampire Slayer! (Uncanny X-Men #386)
“I’ve kissed the lips that kissed you!” (Uncanny X-Men #386)
Thanks for breaking the tension, Paolo. (Uncanny X-Men #386)
WHEEEEE (Uncanny X-Men #386)
See? Not so judgey of Lee Forrester now, are we? (Uncanny X-Men #386)
NEXT TIME: X-Force versus monsters! Again!

498 – Home Depot Ossuary

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In which the Twisted Sisters are vanquished by water; there is no way to make Stryfe cool; and the X-Men fight a hurricane.

X-PLAINED:

  • Ego the Living Planet and his dysfunctional family
  • X-Men #105-106
  • Uncanny X-Men #386
  • The Neo (more) (again)
  • The state of Psylocke and Archangel’s relationship
  • The Twisted Sisters
    • Helix
    • Coil
    • Gyre
    • Ringlet
    • Torque
  • Pelicans
  • Bad decisions of past Jay and Miles
  • A mysterious stranger
  • Unrealized plans
  • Mystique and Wolverine’s forgotten friendship
  • Neo infrastructure
  • Big Casino’s name
  • An unlikely hybrid
  • A surprisingly large femur
  • The new Brotherhood
  • Lee Forrester (again)
  • Weather
  • Fan history

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force vs. Warborgs

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

495 – The Goth

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In which Rogue is beset with leadership; Psylocke’s telekinetic sword is narratively inconsistent; the Crimson Pirates are bad at their job; and you should not look to Frank Punisher as a role model.

X-PLAINED:

  • Whether Dani Moonstar is still a Valkyrie
  • X-Men #103-104
  • Uncanny X-Men #384-385
  • A crossover
  • Tessa (somewhat)
  • A test
  • The Goth (group)
  • Skulls
  • The Crimson Pirates
  • The mind of Tullamore Voge
  • Something “rough trade” does not mean
  • Visual representation of telepathy
  • Kymri (again)
  • The Goth (individual)
  • Skycycles
  • A ruse
  • How to get the X-Perts at a convention near you
  • What happened to the Massachusetts Academy

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Forever

The visual companion to this episode will be up in the near future!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

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Is Thunderbird cosplaying Colossus? (X-Men Unlimited #27)
Meet Neal Shaara! Or sometimes Neal Sharra, depending on who’s writing! (X-Men Unlimited #27)
In which Karima Shapandar literally jump-kicks her way into the issue. (See also the 1977 kung fu film The Invincible Armour.) (X-Men Unlimited #27)
And you haven’t even met Maggott yet! (X-Men Unlimited #27)
embarrassed_werewolf sounds like part of an auto-generated Reddit username. (X-Men Unlimited #27)
“Crap, instead of zapping them with the Robot Servant Ray, we zapped them with the Main Character Ray!” (X-Men Unlimited #27)
Aww, Sanjit. (X-Men Unlimited #27)
Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men Unlimited #27)
Check out Gambit’s sideways-Legion hair! And Beast’s Banshee disguise! (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Darkstar speaks for us all. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
This ain’t Beast’s first brainwashing rodeo. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Listen, the Darkforce is just cool, okay? (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Dis not what Gambit had in mind. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
More like the Golden Death, really. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Darkstar’s face is the same as Miles’s when he first discovered Cloud/Sephiroth slash almost 30 years ago. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
“No, my only weaknesses – rain and tasers!” (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Technology safety tip: if you get a suspicious email, blow up your computer! (X-Men Annual 2000)
Adorable downtime! (X-Men Annual 2000)
I love these goofballs so much. (X-Men Annual 2000)
Rogue learned a lot of things during her time with Magneto, like: if you have a problem, throw it into space. (X-Men Annual 2000)
The focused totality of her cutting your goddamn head off. (X-Men Annual 2000)
Everyone just looks really cool here. That’s the only significance. (X-Men Annual 2000)
GUN ARRRRRRMMMSSSSS (X-Men Annual 2000)
That’s some Claremont dialogue, alright (complimentary). (X-Men Annual 2000)
I guess that’s why Stryfe’s not too concerned with peripheral vision. Explains the helmet. (X-Men Annual 2000)
NEXT TIME: The Goth!

494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

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In which the X-Men zealously protect their trademarks; Cable can have as many moms as he wants to; not everyone should have to be a superhero; Lady Deathstrike knows how to handle unauthorized emails; and somehow there are still more gun arms.

X-PLAINED:

  • Lady Deathstrike
  • X-Men Unlimited #27-28
  • X-Men Annual 2000
  • One reason to recycle code names
  • Thunderbird III (Neal Shaara)
  • Sanjit Shaara and his electronic diary
  • Karima Shapandar
  • Bastion and the Prime Sentinels (again) (briefly)
  • Omega Prime Sentinels
  • Rebirth Island and what lurks there
  • Darkstar (Laynia Petrovna)
  • Unusual disturbances
  • Whether Gambit sleeps
  • The Black Death
  • Internet security training with Bastion
  • The genealogy of Nora Ephron romantic comedy You’ve Got Mail
  • Fashion
  • Stryfe (again) (briefly)
  • Psylocke’s telekinetic katana
  • Interactions between Madelyne Pryor and her large adult son
  • Spiral’s Body Shop

NEXT EPISODE: The Brotherhood targets Senator Kelly… again.

Check out the visual companion to this episode here!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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493 – Now a Major Motion Picture

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In which the first X-Men film turns 25 (and holds up remarkably well).

X-PLAINED:

  • A startling absence
  • The X-Men’s big-screen debut
  • An X-film that might have been
  • X-Men (2000), in general; and related publications
  • Some very casting
  • What makes a good adaptation
  • Wolverine’s hair
  • Those costumes
  • The cinematic X-Men
  • The cinematic Brotherhood
  • Sabretooth’s eyebrows
  • Condensed backstories
  • The movie magic of magnetism
  • The worst toy of all time
  • Going to school with superheroes
  • Things we’d like to have seen in the movie

NEXT EPISODE: The origin of Thunderbird! (Not that one.) (Or that one.)

The visual companion to this episode is the film X-Men (2000).

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!