Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Phoenix

84 – The Fourth Horseman

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/29/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/29/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Franklin Richards is the center of a disproportionate number of X-Men specials; Quicksilver without powers is comedy gold; Luna is the best little girl on the moon (but it’s kind of a low bar); Jay accidentally cares about the Inhumans; Jean Grey may or may not be the Wesley Willis of X-Factor; Cameron Hodge’s exit interview is weirdly professional; Boom Boom is the best reluctant hero; and Archangel makes his debut.

X-PLAINED:

  • Quicksilver’s team associations
  • Knights of Wundagore
  • Chthon
  • X-Factor Annual #2
  • X-Factor #21-23
  • The Inhumans
  • Black Bolt
  • Medusa
  • Crystal
  • Lockjaw
  • QWOP Quicksilver
  • Leech’s wildly inconsistent powers
  • Gorgon
  • Luna
  • Headbutting ghosts, or, why sentence structure matters
  • Maximus
  • Several methods of mind control
  • A really terrible place for a date
  • Cameron Hodge: Bureaucrat Supervillain
  • The last will & testament of Warren Worthington III
  • Another superpower pet peeve
  • A theoretical team-up we would love to see
  • The Arlington Interactive Museum of (evil) Science
  • Some really dumb armor
  • Archangel
  • Our preferred third Summers brothers

NEXT WEEK: Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Halloween X – 2015

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As is our annual tradition, we put out a last-minute call on Twitter for pictures of your X-Men Halloween costumes, and dang are you a stylish bunch! Check out the full roundup–along with some really spectacular jack-o’-lanterns–below!

@kissmyrice specified that she is nice Emma Frost, not the one who’ll blow up your pony without a second thought.
The new X-kids never get enough love, so we were super psyched to see @MutantAnomaly‘s kickass Nature Girl!
@speedheart takes Ororo’s rebellious phase in a different direction with Storm: The College Years!
Speaking of X-Men who don’t get nearly enough cosplay love, check out the always-awesome @Elana_Brooklyn and her husband as Siryn and Forge!
@Elana_Brooklyn tells us that the costumes were for an X-themed party, which–appropriately–involved at least one awkward family reunion!
@galaxytravelin‘s stylin’ Skids makes us SO happy.
@JeffLoveness, who wrote one of our favorite Cyclops stories of the past year, is NOT throwing away his shot as Hamilclops. (Alas, Loveness tells us there was no Burrverine. Maybe next year!)
Not only did @rememberyhorsenail Quentin Quire’s signature look, but he’s got the glare down to a science!
@punkerthanthou (as Cyclops, appropriately!) organized this kickass X-group!
A Phoenix jack-o’-lantern where the firebird aura is actual fire? Yes, please, @eisoj5!
Another really spectacular use of the medium–and the best Cyclops costume–from @half_panda22!
There are better pictures of our costumes (Wirt from Over the Garden Wall, and Speed Racer, respectively), but we couldn’t resist the accidental glowing red eyes in this one.

ETA: I know I missed a handful–and a few came in after the post was done–so if you’ve got an X-costume that’s NOT here, please drop a link in the comments below!

As Mentioned in Episode 75 – By Their Deeds You Shall Know Them

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/20/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
It’s hard to be a mutant teenager. (X-Factor #16)
We kind of skirted this part of the storyline, because it makes us both super uncomfortable and we weren’t really sure what angle to approach it from. You do you. (X-Factor #16)
Boom Boom fits right in at X-Factor! (X-Factor #16)
“Triumphant strangulation” is not a phrase you get to use under very many circumstances. (X-Factor #16)
Well, no, but it’s a nice sentiment. (X-Factor #16)
WHOOPS. (X-Factor #17)
The kids are the only ones who are not treating this as business as usual. (X-Factor #17)
X-Factor is THE WORST at interventions. (X-Factor #17)
Bobby, now is probably not the best time to joke about flight safety. Also, I’m kind of genuinely horrified that they APPARENTLY KEEP SPARE UNIFORMS WHERE THE LIFE VESTS GO. This is like how in the LEGO Blackbird there’s a chair blocking the door of the cabinet with the fire extinguisher and… okay, look, I realize no one else cares about this. BUT IT BUGS ME. (X-Factor #17)
“Not that I don’t appreciate the rescue, but don’t you people ever use doors?” (X-Factor #17)
“NOPE!” (X-Factor #17)
Cameron Hodge is so good at villain speeches. (X-Factor #17)
FANCY THAT, SKIDS. (X-Factor #18)
“I mean, we’re gonna get brainwashed by Scott and Jean’s clone’s kid’s clone, and then join a cult; and I’ll get killed in space by Holocaust; but the Phoenix Force is definitely not involved in most of that.” (X-Factor #18)
Scott’s life is basically an ongoing game of Hallucination or Hologram right now. (X-Factor #18)
“Skids, sometimes when two grown-ups love each other very much, and one of them was briefly replaced by a cosmic force, and the other married her clone, and–look, just give us a minute, please.” (X-Factor #18)
Ouch. (X-Factor #18)
DUH. (X-Factor #18)
Oh, hi, Angel. (X-Factor #18)
“Nineteen issues in, and we STILL haven’t figured doors out.” (X-Factor #19)
Cyclops X-Plains superhero comics in a nutshell. (X-Factor #19)
THOSE ARE NOT HORSES. Awesome, but not horses. (X-Factor #19)
Have I mentioned that X-Factor is the worst at interventions? Because X-Factor is definitely the worst at interventions. (X-Factor #19)
Well, then. (X-Factor #19)
The kids X-Factor rescued remain by far and away the most functional aspect of the whole operation. (X-Factor #20)
NEXT WEEK: Rachel & Miles Live at Rose City Comic Con, with Ann Nocenti, Jeff Parker, and Christopher Yost!

75 – By Their Deeds You Shall Know Them

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/20/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/20/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Masque is the worst Morlock; makeouts are a good reason to learn to control your powers; Cyclops and Marvel Girl are terrible role models; Iceman is the heart of X-Factor; Cameron Hodge finally shows his hand; the kids are all right (and probably the only ones who are); and we’ve basically given up on X-Factor ever learning to use doors.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Right
  • The Ani-Mator
  • X-Factor #16-20
  • Training with X-Factor
  • Skids’ backstory
  • Motivational makeouts
  • Miles’s Thor-ner
  • Thor #377-378
  • Why you don’t make deals with frost giants
  • The mystical realm of Pittsburgh
  • Redundant funeral graffiti
  • A totally rad villain speech
  • The evolution of Iceman
  • Dubious flight safety precautions
  • Rictor (Julio Esteban Richter)
  • Some really epic gaslighting
  • A probably-inevitable confrontation
  • Supervillain team-building exercises
  • Park maintenance

NEXT WEEK: Rachel & Miles Live at Rose City Comic Con; with Ann Nocenti, Jeff Parker, and Christopher Yost!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 70 – Forget It, Jake; It’s X-Factor

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/23/2015 in the shop (also pencils skirts, ‘cause, why the hell not?) or contact David for the original.
SPOILER. (X-Factor #12)
Meanwhile, in a nearby sitcom… (X-Factor #12)
HI, BOOM BOOM! (X-Factor #12)
Seriously, though, THOSE DRAMATIC GESTURES! (X-Factor #12)
FUN FACT: In 1987, a sufficiently high Dig Dug score actually provided legal immunity from a number of petty misdemeanors in the state of New York! (X-Factor #12)
X-Factor: Trained superheroes; still haven’t really gotten the hang of doors. (X-Factor #12)
This will certainly end well. (X-Factor #13)
Oh, hi, that one photo of Jean! It’s been a while! (X-Factor #13)
Aw, these kids. (X-Factor #13)
I can’t figure out what kind of fish this is supposed to be, and it’s really bothering me. (X-Factor #13)
Cameron Hodge: Definitely the worst. (X-Factor #13)
Same story, different door. (X-Factor #13)
LOOK AT THAT AMAZING ZOMBIE ROBOT. LOOK. LOOK. (X-Factor #13)
Seriously, just buy some damn lockpicks already. (X-Factor #13)
Scott Summers’s life: literally an anxiety dream. (X-Factor #13)
Those Walter Simonson layouts, tho. Dang. (X-Factor #14)
Even Rusty and Skids can’t look away from the amazing soap opera. (X-Factor #14)
Aw, man. (X-Factor #14)
Trish, THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE. (X-Factor #14)
“Oh, shit, we totally saved him from an inevitable and painful death! We’re monsters!” (X-Factor #14)
This cover is kind of hilarious. (X-Factor #15)
WHO KEEPS BRINGING HIM NEWSPAPERS? Probably Cameron Hodge. JERK. (X-Factor #15)
“Also, I think I might have a kid? I’m pretty sure there was a plot point about that last issue.” (X-Factor #15)
Caliban tries so hard. (X-Factor #15)
Due to lack of participation in X-Factor’s mandatory program of despair, Iceman has been temporary relocated to another book. (X-Factor #15)
I know this is supposed to be very poignant, but I can’t stop wondering why the hell Angel’s little private plane has fucking MISSILES. (X-Factor #15)
Well, I mean, it’s one way to get to Arizona. (X-Factor #15)
NEXT WEEK: Technoorganic blues!

LINKS, LINKS, LINKS!

  • Did you know there’s a ton of cool stuff to read and see at rachelandmiles.com? Obviously you do, since you’re already here.
  • David Wynne is the rad dude behind the illustrations you see at the top of every episode!
  • We have a Redbubble shop, where you can exchange money for all sorts of snazzy stuff, including a new, limited-run shirt every month…
  • …and if buttons are your bag, you can get those over at Strange Tomorrow!
  • While we’re being mercenary, you might as well go follow us on Twitter and Tumblr.

 

 

70 – Forget It, Jake; It’s X-Factor

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/23/2015 in the shop (also pencils skirts, ‘cause, why the hell not?) or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/23/2015 in the shop (also pencils skirts, ‘cause, why the hell not?) or contact David for the original.

In which everything is terrible; miscommunication triangles are way more awkward than love triangles; Boom Boom is universally delightful; Miles has feelings about ‘80s fashion; Apocalypse is judging your band posters; X-Factor still hasn’t gotten the hang of doors; Cyclops’s life continues to be an anxiety dream; the Twelve are better in foreshadowing than practice; and Angel dies as he lived: half-naked, at an airport.

X-PLAINED

  • The evolution of Angel
  • Cold opens
  • rachelandmiles.com
  • X-Factor so far
  • X-Factor #12-15
  • A miscommunication triangle
  • Boom Boom (Tabitha Smith)
  • Rachel’s Marc Silvestri causality loop
  • Boom Boom vs. Jubilee
  • Cameron disambiguation
  • Famine
  • Master Mold (more) (again)
  • The Twelve
  • Tanya Trask
  • Caliban

NEXT WEEK: Technoorganic blues!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 60 – Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
The last thing you see before you die. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
Do you ‘ship Storm and Bree Morrell now? You probably should. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
The outfits in this arc are just 100% amazing. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
Damnit, Rachel. This is why we can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
“Teamwork! Our only weakness!” (Uncanny X-Men #206)
“It’s Madelyne! They’ve shot her! And dyed her hair! And given her fairly extensive cosmetic surgery!” (Uncanny X-Men #206)
Wolverine hates Arizona. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
We were going to make up a drinking game based around how many times Wolverine really or metaphorically kills Rachel in this story, but you would die of alcohol poisoning by the end of the first issue. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Spoiler: It’s a metaphor. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
THE OUTFITS, THO. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
…And again. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Same song, different issue. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Neither of you is wrong. You’re just both assholes. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Well, that escalated quickly. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
THOSE. OUTFITS. THO. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Kitty tells it like it is. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Damnit, Selene. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Feelings are boring. Murder is awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
It really sucks to be a mortally wounded telepath, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Oh, SNAP. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
What. Selene. No. What are you even doing. No, Selene. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
No, but seriously: costume satin, right? (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Never not funny. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
And then, it got weird. Weirder. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
‘Kay. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
That one time a member of the Inner Circle wore a costume so bad it actually killed him. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Fun fact: this is the second time they’ve pulled this particular move. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Okay, that’s actually pretty awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Seeya in Excalibur, kid! (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Next Week: New Mutants breaks our hearts, over and over and over.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING LISTENING:

60 – Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Rachel Summers went to sleep with Wolverine’s claws in her dreams and now there’s claws in her lungs and when she got out of bed this morning she tripped on her traumatic backstory and by mistake she dropped the Phoenix Force in the sink while the water was running and she could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

X-PLAINED:

  • Freedom Force
  • Supervillains’ day jobs
  • Uncanny X-Men #206-209
  • The X-Men’s first brief tenure in San Francisco
  • Terrible house guests
  • Lindsay McCabe
  • David Ishima
  • Bree Morrell
  • A metaphorical ghost story
  • Lycanthropy, but dumber
  • The crossing of several ethical lines
  • Death by narrative stasis (and also impaling)
  • Craft night at the Hellfire Club
  • Death by costume satin (and also heart failure)
  • One way to write someone out of a book
  • Our favorite Summers kids
  • X-Music

Special thanks to Elle Collins

NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants break your heart.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 55 – How Nightcrawler Got His Groove Back

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/10/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
We really can’t blame her. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
You’d think Piotr would have caught on to the existence of spandex by now, what with being a superhero and all. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
Daaaaaaaang. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
Well, that’ll end well. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
Aw, kiddo. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
A miracle of magnetism! (Uncanny X-Men #202)
The Beyonder sucks, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
I know it’s just a flashback, but man, Rogue, serious dick move there. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
Don’t worry–we’ll X-Plain this whole thing at more length next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
Whaaaaaaaaaaat. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
I’m pretty sure no one ever brings this up again, which seems weird in retrospect. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
The Phoenix Force lends itself to some damn cool layouts. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
And again. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
And then the Beyonder went away and everyone lived happily ever… HA NO JUST KIDDING. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
THAT COVER, THO (Uncanny X-Men #204)
Nightcrawler likes Secret Wars about as much as we do. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
There are some very specific benefits to living in a comic-book universe. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
How do people always work out what’s going on so quickly? “Oh, I must clearly be in a giant pinball machine.” Really? REALLY? (Uncanny X-Men #204)
NIGHTCRAWLER IS DELIGHTFUL. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
ARCADE IS ALSO DELIGHTFUL. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
Comics Should Be Fun: A Manifesto by Kurt Wagner. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
Nightcrawler and Arcade make really excellent mutual foils–both of them appreciate the theatricality of the genre in ways that few of their peers do. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
OKAY THEN (Uncanny X-Men #204)
At this point, the X-Men going to any kind of cultural event is basically an invitation for a super-fight to land on their front lawn. (Alpha Flight #33)
Well, then. (Alpha Flight #33)
Third-worst honeymoon ever. (Alpha Flight #33)
I know there’s plot-relevant stuff going on here, but can we also take a moment to appreciate Wolverine’s awesome opera suit? (Alpha Flight #33)
Awk-ward. (Alpha Flight #33)
“Seriously, what the hell, lady?” (Alpha Flight #33)
I wonder if James Hudson and Charles Xavier are friends. It seems like they would be. (Alpha Flight #34)
Yer a good kid, Wolverine. (Alpha Flight #34)
Not actually plot relevant. We just think it’s funny. (Alpha Flight #34)
Daaaaaaaamn, Barry Windsor-Smith. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
No, seriously: Daaaaaaaamn, Barry Windsor-Smith. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Subtitle: “Someday Katie Power is going to make a therapist very rich.” (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Look at this awesome badass 5-year-old. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
That layout! (Uncanny X-Men #205)
It really sucks to be Wolverine a lot of the time. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
A) This page is amazing. B) Still can’t get over how much Barry Windsor-Smith’s Wolverine–drawn in 1986–looks like Hugh Jackman. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Wolverine has reconsidered his stance on transhumanism. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Sick burn, man. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Awww. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
NEXT WEEK: The Beyonder kills the New Mutants.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

55 – How Nightcrawler Got His Groove Back

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/10/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/10/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Secret Wars II ruins everything (more) (again) (forever); Rachel Summers hates the Beyonder almost as much as we do; Miles gets mad at comics; Nightcrawler does not do gritty well; Lady Deathstrike gets wired; and we consult our favorite 3-year-old for book recommendations.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rogue vs. Carol Danvers
  • Life before social media
  • Uncanny X-Men #202-205
  • Alpha Flight #33-34
  • Phoenix II vs. the Beyonder (twice)
  • The Reverse Gwen Stacy
  • Still more miracles of magnetism
  • Kitty Pryde disambiguation
  • SFLANNG!
  • Good times in Murderworld
  • The third-worst honeymoon
  • Lady Deathstrike (Yuriko Oyama)
  • Spiral’s Body Shop
  • The Reavers
  • One way to build a Wolverine antagonist
  • Skirting the Comics Code
  • Sound-effects lettering as a narrative device
  • Good X-books for a 3-year-old

Special thanks to Katie and Kestrel P.

NEXT WEEK: The Beyonder kills the New Mutants!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!