Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Phoenix

As Mentioned in Episode 253 – Autumn in the Uncanny Valley

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Aw, these kids. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
THEY’RE SO BAD AT BEING PEOPLE AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
I also love them. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Really, this is one of those issues that just makes me want the X-Men to always be happy and never have to do any superhero stuff. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Fucking hawks, always poaching passes on the gridiron. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Jean “Grab fate by the throat and hold on until it stops moving” Grey. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
What do YOU think Jean is saying here? Fill in her word balloon for a chance to, I dunno, I guess we could publish a gallery of them? (Uncanny X-Men #208)
The second scariest face in this issue. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Excellent use of ironic juxtaposition, there. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
It’s very text-heavy in Charles Xavier’s brain. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
“Now, let’s talk about my silvery mane.” (Uncanny X-Men #209)
I bet he wouldn’t be so depressed if he knew how good his depression beard looked! (Uncanny X-Men #209)
WHY DOES NOBODY IN THIS UNIVERSE HAVE APPROPRIATE PROFESSIONAL BOUNDARIES?! (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Version 1. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Version 2. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Ah, there it is. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
“Funny, I don’t remember that day being quite so caption-heavy.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)
“Later, we’re all going to go break into the zoo and flash the zebras. Trust us. It’s TRADITION.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Not a lot, Carl. Not a lot. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
“Look, Nathan, this is basically how we bond in my family.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)
He just hangs out in that position. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
“Let’s see. I went after a man in hospice care and got my ass kicked. What’s even lower-hanging fruit?” (Uncanny X-Men #210)
I can’t stop imagining them having to bat those captions out of the way as they run forward. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
He looks so mad about it! (Uncanny X-Men #210)
NEXT EPISODE: Obviously.

LINKS & FURTHER HEADLINES

253 – Autumn in the Uncanny Valley

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which an engagement begins; Jean Grey’s Walden Puddle counterpart is definitely Nicole; Cyclops is the telepathic equivalent of a pit trap with spikes at the bottom; Charles Xavier’s subconscious is very dialogue-heavy; nobody ever has appropriate professional boundaries; Cable dabbles in passive aggression; and the best is yet to come.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some of Blaquesmith’s recent activities
  • Uncanny X-Men #308-310
  • A very sweet retcon
  • Thanksgiving “traditions”
  • How to scare crows
  • Emplates
  • Feelings and telepathy
  • A proposal
  • A misprint
  • Thanksgiving at the Xavier School
  • A somewhat alarming manifestation of a conscience
  • The lies Charles Xavier tells himself
  • Xavier’s depression beard
  • The evolution of Amelia Voght
  • Angry Claremontean Narrator: The Movie
  • The anticlimactic return of Carl “X-Cutioner” Denti
  • An unexpected resolution
  • Foreshadowing
  • Trans voices in the larger comics conversation

NEXT EPISODE: The wedding!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 252 – Snakes on a Trolley

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
TBH, this candle situation was basically how Jay decorated his room in the ’90s, too. (X-Factor #97)
“Also, the hand of orbital lasers.” (X-Factor #97)
I love this panel so much. (X-Factor #97)
SERIOUSLY THOUGH SHE HAS ORBITAL LASERS (X-Factor #97)
Spoiler: both of these dudes spend this arc being nonstop awful. (X-Factor #97)
“Antici– (X-Factor #98)
–pation!” (X-Factor #98)
Meanwhile, in a nearby Ralph Bakshi movie. (X-Factor #98)
Aw, Jamie. (X-Factor #98)
Haven’s real superpower is her AMAZING HAIR. (X-Factor #98)
Forge, fuck off. Lorna is literally the only competent member of X-Factor, including you. (X-Factor #99)
The snake shoes, in all their structurally questionable glory! (X-Factor #99)
Aw, Rahne. (X-Factor #99)
Aw, Rahne! (X-Factor #99)
I feel vaguely that I should be making a “what does G-d need with a starship” joke here, but frankly, Star Trek V doesn’t deserve the nod. (X-Factor #100)
Don’t tell them that. Never tell them that. (X-Factor #100)
You see what I mean about the captions, though, right? (X-Factor #100)
This is basically Jay’s morning routine. (X-Factor #100)
Aw, Jamie. (X-Factor #100)
It’s okay; he’ll be back eventually, mostly, probably. (X-Factor #100)
And now, an out-of-context infomercial-style tag! (X-Factor #100)
NEXT EPISODE: Haven’t we been here before?

LINKS & FURTHER MODES OF TRANSPORTATION

 

 

 

 

252 – Snakes on a Trolley

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles invokes Freddie Mercury; Polaris is more competent than the rest of X-Factor put together; Armageddon theology does not intersect well with superpowers (or politics, or anything else); Val joins a cult (kind of); Random joins the team (kind of); Haven is a surprisingly nonviolent mass-murderer; Havok is confused by women; and good guys don’t have orbital lasers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Hope across the multiverse
  • X-Factor #97-100
  • Haven (Radha Dastoor)
  • Man, Mutant, and the New Humanity
  • A very fashionable outfit
  • One of the greatest Marvel art submissions of all time
  • Trinket the cat
  • Catalogs
  • A dramatic entrance
  • Mahapralaya (kind of)
  • Jamie Madrox vs. Jamie Madrox vs. the Legacy Virus
  • The Trolley Problem
  • Possession
  • Orbital lasers as a metric of morality
  • Monsoon (Aloba Dastoor)
  • The apparent death of Jamie Madrox
  • Our favorite takes on the Phoenix
  • Who our X-Universe counterparts should be

NEXT EPISODE: A very short engagement!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, or your favorite podcatcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

HAPPY PRIDE! This month, we’re donating all of the proceeds from our TeePublic shop to Trans Lifeline!

As Mentioned in Episode 248 – Destructo Woman

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Sure! Why not? What could POSSIBLY go wrong? (Excalibur #72)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #73)
Damnit, Siena Blaze. (Excalibur #73)
Phoenix demands proportionate arms! (Excalibur #73)
I don’t know why the fact that Moira kept Proteus’s entire genome on CD-ROM strikes me as hilarious; but it really, really does. (Excalibur #73)
Yelling in the Timestream: The Brian Braddock and Rachel Summers Story. (Excalibur #74)
You see the eyes, right? (Excalibur #74)
The odds that Mr. Sinister got that knife at a mall kiosk are basically 100%. (Excalibur #74)
You’re a good kid, Jubilee. (Excalibur #74)
I like to think they’re both just yelling. (X-Force #31)
The garden is a metaphor that is also a real garden. (X-Force #31)
Why is this random blonde dude so hung up on the Cassidy family? We’ll never know. (X-Force #31)
I just really love those yelling pages. (X-Force #31)
“And yet, despite all those years of gardening, I’m still not sure how to hold a rake.” (X-Force #31)
He’s an angry tree, but he’s an angry tree who cares. (X-Force #31)
NEXT EPISODE: More family fun!

248 – Destructo Woman

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Tom Cassidy and Cain Marko may be the most stable couple in the Marvel Universe; Rory Campbell is no Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau; Siena Blaze remains a big jerk; the Cassidy family has some issues; and we are dismayed by an inexplicable dearth of leprechauns.

X-PLAINED:

  • Birthday presents
  • What Excalibur has been up to
  • Excalibur #72-74
  • X-Force #31
  • How to be mysterious
  • The Proteus Room
  • The continually terrible choices of Moira MacTaggert
  • Porridge ghosts
  • An unnatural disaster
  • Chekhov’s solid rock
  • Rory Campbell
  • Destructo Woman
  • Limitations of CD-ROMs
  • Siryn (Theresa Cassidy)
  • The Cassidy family
  • How not to treat a gunshot wound
  • Kelvin Donaghann and his fancy hair
  • An intervention
  • The future of the New Mutants feature film
  • Underwear

NEXT EPISODE: Family Reunion!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 236 – Baggage of Traumas Past

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
THAT’S the image I always remember from this scene. (Wolverine #75)
The inside of Wolverine’s mind is surprisingly derivative. (Wolverine #75)
Throes of the Phoenix Saga… Wolverine #75)
Scott is clearly with me on this reading. (Wolverine #75)
There are a lot of people who would have made more sense than Illyana here. (Wolverine #75)
IN THIS HOUSE WE STAN JEAN GREY. (Wolverine #75)
Aw. (Wolverine #75)
That. Sound. Effect. (Wolverine #75)
One very good day to frame a conversation. (Wolverine #75)
I hate it when I get extra body parts via retcon. (Wolverine #75)
Use as you see fit. (Wolverine #75)
And then, everything got awkward. (Excalibur #71)
How you know something big is going on and/or your sales are flagging. (Excalibur #71)
Professor Xavier is a JERK. (Excalibur #71)
Ouch. (Excalibur #71)
Meanwhile in the B-Plot… (Excalibur #71)
AW. (Excalibur #71)
Aw, man, my heart. (Excalibur #71)
WELL THAT WAS A SURPRISE. (Excalibur #71)
Aw, Piotr. I’d like to say that it gets better for him from here, but… (Excalibur #71)
Has anyone ever rocked a blue-and-gold Phoenix costume? It’s not half bad! (Excalibur #71)
NEXT EPISODE: Time to get X-TREME!

LINKS & FURTHER CLONES:

236 – Baggage of Traumas Past (Fatal Attractions, Part 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Decimation was kind of sketchy; you should definitely come see us in Seattle; Wolverine has a rough day; Colossus has yet another rough day; Excalibur plans for the future; and Fatal Attractions comes to a close.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Professor X got his groove and/or powers back
  • Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
  • Wolverine #75
  • Excalibur #71
  • Psychic trauma
  • High-stakes references
  • The personal Ragnarok of a shattered soul
  • A really effective sound effect
  • The first day of the rest of Logan’s life
  • Butterflies of the Xavier School
  • Muir Island’s psychiatric ward
  • Medical consent
  • The worst bar, probably
  • Professorial disambiguation
  • What Micromax and Kyluun are probably definitely up to
  • Several variably awkward Grey-Summers family reunions
  • A betrayal
  • Amelia Voght
  • Unuscione
  • Katu
  • The future of Excalibur
  • Proactive superheroism
  • How not to make a White Russian
  • Shadowcat’s recovery post-Mutant Massacre
  • Our etymological destinies

NEXT EPISODE: It’s time to get X-TREME!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 232 – Careful With That Axe, Cerise

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
…Okay. then. (Excalibur #68)
“Now, do you want new handlebars, or should I just go ahead and go back to my lamp?” (Excalibur #68)
HI, STARJAMMERS! (Excalibur #68)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (Excalibur #69)
Oh, c’mon. I know you’re evil and bloodthirsty, but shooting corpses is just gratuitous. (Excalibur #69)
Sigh. (Excalibur #69)
Well, that works. (Excalibur #69)
I love this person. (Excalibur #69)
Fang! But not that Fang! A different Fang! (Excalibur #69)
Aw, these two. (Excalibur #70)
Awk-ward. (Excalibur #70)
The saddest staring contest. (Excalibur #70)
This seems legally dubious, but okay. (Excalibur #70)
Cerise X-Plains war crimes. (Excalibur #70)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Unlimited!

LINKS & FURTHER ANECDOTES

232 – Careful With That Axe, Cerise

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we’re still not over Into the Spider-Verse; Excalibur becomes an official X-book; Feron tries to help; Butts are fundamental; we care about the weird stuff; threats are unnecessary; and we were all always already Erik the Red.

X-PLAINED:

  • Several characters’ Earth-65 counterparts
  • The X-Office
  • Judging people for not being Alan Davis
  • Excalibur #68-70
  • A slippery story title
  • The unceremonious disappearance of Captain Britain
  • Mullets of space and time
  • Angst-ridden super-types, all of whom are morbidly obsessed with death
  • The other war criminal in Excalibur
  • Fashion trends of the Shi’ar Empire
  • Krag
  • Important conversations to have with your significant other
  • A sadness staredown
  • Cerise’s actual secret origins
  • A fairly poetic life sentence
  • The cleverest fights
  • Our 2019 Convention Schedule
  • How to get Jay & Miles at your local convention

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Unlimited!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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