Rogue – Page 13 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

110 – Lights, Camera, Apocalypse!

May 22, 2016 Jay 41 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which the X-Men cinematic universe is a really mixed bag; Kang the Conqueror ruins everything; everyone wants a Sphinx hovercraft; Elle was right; and we bring you up to speed on all things En Sabah Nur–just in time for X-Men: Apocalypse!

X-PLAINED:

How Chamber got his torso back (and then lost it again)(twice)
Several ways to count X-Men movies
X-Men
X2: X-Men United
X-Men: The Last Stand
X-Men: First Class
X-Men: Days of Future Past
Adaptation anxiety
Distillation vs. dilution
Apocalypse (En Sabah Nur)
Rise of Apocalypse #1-4
Akkaba
Dubious survival tips
Fantastic Four #19
Doctor Strange #53
Ozymandias
Various horsemen of Apocalypse
Age of Apocalypse (Earth-295)
The Twelve
Cinematic X-costumes
Cast Party

NEXT WEEK: Excalibur joins Inferno!

CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay states that Kieran Shiach explained Kang in the Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts. It was, in fact, the amazing Paul O’Brien. Mea culpa.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Jay Recaps X-Men: Evolution
S1E9: Survival of the Fittest

March 8, 2016 Jay 20 comments

I can summarize most episodes of X-Men: Evolution from memory, in a fair degree of detail; so it surprised me when, in reviewing the Season 1 roster, I realized I recalled almost nothing of “Survival of the Fittest” beyond the fact that it involved some kind of summer camp scenario. When I started to watch, I realized why: in a season where even the bad episodes are usually entertaining, this one is just boring as all hell.

On my first pass, I stopped taking notes five minutes in, because nothing was happening. By the halfway mark, I was actively fantasizing about watching paint dry.¹ But I am nothing if not committed, readers. I promised you a recap, and a recap you would have, come hell or high water.

Ah, well. At least I get to judge cartoon teenagers for their fashion choices.

As Mentioned in Episode 99 – Those Who Walk Away from Genosha

March 6, 2016 Jay 13 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

The whole arc summed up in a single image. (Uncanny X-Men #235)

Hawkshaw’s actual mutant power is talking in old-timey detective slang. (Uncanny X-Men #235)

“Y’know, when I’m not running a massive underground IT complex and consorting with demons.” (Uncanny X-Men #235)

Unlike the Genoshans, the X-Men actually arrive with extra clothes when they teleport. (Uncanny X-Men #235)

“Yes, and…” (Uncanny X-Men #235)

NAKED FIGHT! Take a drink, and follow it with a beer back. (Uncanny X-Men #236)

The stark normalcy of (human) life on Genosha is played for pretty spectacular contrast to horror’s it’s built upon. (Uncanny X-Men #236)

“Here in Genosha, we’re more into D.C.” (Uncanny X-Men #236)

BUTTERFLY MUSTACHE! (Uncanny X-Men #236)

Meet N’astirh: the most polite demon. Kinda. For now. (Uncanny X-Men #236)

We’d all like to think we’ve got a little Carol Danvers in us, but it’s rarely quite this literal. (Uncanny X-Men #236)

THAT OUTFIT. (Uncanny X-Men #236)

The best thing about being a supervillain is that people respect it when you don’t feel like multitasking. (Uncanny X-Men #236)

Damn, Genegineer. (Uncanny X-Men #237)

Don’t fuck with Madelyne Pryor. (Uncanny X-Men #237)

Or Wolverine, for that matter. (Uncanny X-Men #237)

OH SHIT (Uncanny X-Men #238)

He’s a homophone! Get it? ‘Cause Sinister is a Jeangineer! (Uncanny X-Men #238)

“Fuck foreshadowing. I’m turning on the damn SPOTLIGHT.” (Uncanny X-Men #238)

Genosha is actually kind of a metaphor–just not for what you first think. (Uncanny X-Men #238)

NEXT EPISODE: Chris Claremont.

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

We’ve recommended the documentary Chris Claremont’s X-Men before and likely will again.
Dazzle camouflage is totally a real thing, even if it has nothing to do with what Carol’s doing in this arc.

99 – Those Who Walk Away from Genosha

March 6, 2016 Jay 49 comments

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In which the podcast gets a new name; Jay starts (another) imaginary band; mutant issues break away from the metaphor; Genosha’s leading industry is cognitive dissonance; invisibility to electronic surveillance is not always a plus; Rogue and Wolverine are the X-Men most likely to find themselves nude in a fight; Carol Danvers is awesome even when disembodied; and we both have a lot of feelings about Mad Max: Fury Road.

X-PLAINED:

The Havok dilemma
Our new name
Uncanny X-Men #235-238
Genosha
Jenny Ransome
The Press Gang
A really good bit of vintage slang
The downside of electronic invisibility
Naked teleportation
The Genegineer (David Moreau)
Philip Moreau
Mutates
The (sort of) return of (sort of) Carol Danvers
The portmanteaus of Genosha
Moral binary in superhero comics
Possible antecedents of Sterling Archer
The only good reason to bring Logan back
N’astirh
Several versions of Madelyne Pryor
“Gone to America”
Off-page baby theft
How to have fun re-reading

InfernoWatch:

This week, it’s all about Madelyne Pryor: her first contact with N’astirh and escalating romance with Havok; the first hints of her connection to Mister Sinister; her oblique connection to the Phoenix Force; and her first foray into baby theft!

NEXT EPISODE: Chris Claremont

CORRECTION: In this episode, Miles mentioned Those Who Walk Away From Omelas as having been written by Margaret Atwood. It was, of course, actually written by Ursula K. LeGuin. Miles blames the Jaspers Warp for this mistake.

You can find a visual companion to this episode–and links to recommended reading–on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Jay Recaps X-Men: Evolution
S1E8: SpykeCam

February 23, 2016 Jay 23 comments

Oh, Evolution Season One. You try so hard. And sometimes you hit your mark: sometimes it’s “Turn of the Rogue.”

And then, sometimes, it’s “SpykeCam.”

Here’s the thing about Spyke: he’s a character born of good intentions and just stunningly thin execution. He’s got a lot of potential, but the actual episodes that focus on him–which are fairly few and far between–and his eventual, deeply dubious fate are almost universally weak. I want to like this dude, and sometimes I really do–but often, it’s in spite of, not because of, the stories built around him.

Ah, well. We’ll always have Dracula: The Rock Musical.

As Mentioned in Episode 95 – Earthfall

February 8, 2016 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

TFW you forget a plotline for over a year and have to recap not only the original hook, but the entire context. (Uncanny X-Men #232)

If I had a dollar for every time this had happened when I was out camping… (Uncanny X-Men #232)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men #232)

That is definitely not how you perform CPR. (Uncanny X-Men #232)

A lot of our nightmares start like this. (Uncanny X-Men #232)

“Okay. This looks bad.” (Uncanny X-Men #233)

Nope. (Uncanny X-Men #233)

That’s… actually, that’s incredibly reasonable. (Uncanny X-Men #233)

How much do we love this cover? SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #234)

That couple in the background are by far our favorite characters in this arc. (Uncanny X-Men #234)

And again. (Uncanny X-Men #234)

“So, meth, then?” (Uncanny X-Men #234)

Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #232)

You know that thing where you have a really awful dream about someone you know, and you wake up really mad at them, and then you team up with demons and try to sacrifice a bunch of babies and turn New York into Hell? Yeah, me, too. (Uncanny X-Men #233)

In Madelyne’s defense, this really is a super fucked up dream. (Uncanny X-Men #233)

“She’s her old self again, but about six inches shorter.” (Uncanny X-Men #233)

There is literally nothing okay about what is going on here. (Uncanny X-Men #234)

Has anyone ever tried to reproduce this awesome manicure IRL? You should do that. (Uncanny X-Men #234)

The first official apparance of one of the worst villain costumes in X-Men. At least it’s memorable? (Uncanny X-Men #234)

Next Week: This asshole.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

For an introduction to the Brood (and one of the best Brood stories ever), listen to Episode 20 – The Brood They Carried.
For more on Hannah Conover, check out Left Unresolved – Do the X-Men Still Have a Frozen Lady in Their Freezer?, by Brian Cronin, over at CBR.
Here’s a pretty solid overview of the unfathomable clusterfuck of the direct market, from Heidi MacDonald at the Beat; including links to a number of other analyses from retailer and publisher perspectives.

95 – Earthfall

February 8, 2016 Jay 33 comments

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In which the X-Men finally follow up on a dropped plotline; you should probably not mess with abandoned star sharks; “Dawn of Blood” is a sometimes food; The Goblin Queen makes her first appearance; we debut a new podcast feature; and there may or may not be a frozen woman in the Xavier School basement.

X-PLAINED:

The Providian Order
Uncanny X-Men #232-234
The Brood (again)
Several ill-fated campers
Harry Palmer
The Brood as horror antagonists
Why John Doggett is the best X-Files agent
Psylocke’s armor
Why Nestor Carbonell should play Gambit
Some deeply dubious codenames
Red Bee
Michael the Bee
Reverend William Conover and his Glory Day Crusade
The Mile High Diner
The strange case of Hannah Conover
One hell of a nightmare
A deal with a devil
InfernoWatch
The direct market
Ways to approach an endless serial

INFERNO WATCH:

Madelyne meets and strikes a deal with S’ym
First appearance of the Goblin Queen costume

NEXT EPISODE: Evolutionary War

CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay recalled the direct market as having been conceived in significant part by Carol Kalish. It was, in fact, the brainchild of Phil Seuling.

You can find a visual companion to this episode–and links to recommended reading–on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

January 10, 2016 Jay 8 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

The vaguely slapstick motifs in this story somehow make it even sadder. (New Mutants #64)

And it really only gets more depressing from here. (New Mutants #64)

No, seriously. (New Mutants #64)

Everything is terrible forever. (New Mutants #64)

=( (New Mutants #64)

Yeah, we do not have a sassy caption for this. Sorry. (New Mutants #64)

Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #64)

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)

Harder than fighting Sentinels, apparently. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)

“It’s four hours of me, a vacuum cleaner, and a theremin.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)

The X-Men take costume parties REALLY DAMN SERIOUSLY. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)

“Also, that is literally one of the only two non-uniform outfits you own.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)

How not to lay out a page for coherent reading order. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)

SO THEN THAT HAPPENED. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)

And they all lived happily ever after. THE END! (But Doug Ramsey was still dead.) (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)

91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

January 10, 2016 Jay 39 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | Email | RSS

In which New Mutants #64 is the saddest single issue of any X-book ever; the New Mutants have to grow up fast; Warlock comes to terms with mortality; The Last of Us is harder to play the second time; Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade is delightfully unhinged; animated Cyclops is totally the worst; Beast probably has a terrible garage band; Jean starts a kitchen fire; and Wolverine saves Jubilee’s birthday.

X-PLAINED:

The saddest issue ever
New Mutants #64
The only okay way to watch Grave of the Fireflies
The aftermath of Doug Ramsey’s death
Several unhealthy coping mechanisms
The Last of Us
Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade
Some varyingly impressive costumes
General irresponsibility
Why Wolverine is wearing a clown suit
Douglock
The New Mutants’ D&D alignments

NEXT WEEK: You never forget your first Ship.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!