romance – Page 2 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

309 – Excellent Turtle

September 27, 2020 Jay 12 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which ballistics get weird; Black Air is no W.H.O.; we have surprisingly mixed feelings about Pete Wisdom and Kitty Pryde as a couple; there is an actual creepy clown bar in Portland; blood eagles are excessively ostentatious; the Uncreated just want to be cool; and Rory Campbell continues his descent into supervillainy.

X-PLAINED:

The Forever Man
Turner D. Century
Excalibur #87-90
Excalibur (more) (again)
Genosha (more) (again)
Some extremely confusing bullets
Philip Moreau
Jenny Ransome
Black Air
Dream Nails
Spy bars
Foundations of Kitty Pryde and Pete Wisdom’s relationship
Captions
Work/life separation
A creepy clown bar
Easy Tiger
Blood eagles
Shrine
A virus and/or bacteria
The Uncreated
Gor the God-Butcher
Data security
Rory Campbell vs. Spoor
How the X-Men got their name
Terrigen toxicity

NEXT EPISODE: Starjammers!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 286 – Family Before Continuity

February 23, 2020 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Don’t worry! The world will end before they can die in that plane crash! (Excalibur #86)

Pete Wisdom is a happy man with a happy life. (Excalibur #86)

MAH PUIR WEE HOVERCRAFT (Excalibur #86)

I want a team that’s just him and Chamber, brooding. (Excalibur #86)

A green and pleasant, &c. (Excalibur #86)

Well, so much for that mission. (Excalibur #86)

Me, too, Sam. Me, too. (X-Force #43)

I relate so hard to Shatterstar right now. (X-Force #43)

Time travel has some good looks. (X-Force #43)

Aw, these dudes. (X-Force #43)

“We’re here for you, in all our oddly-proportioned glory!” (X-Force #43)

He hasn’t, actually, but that won’t be revealed for a while yet. (X-Force #43)

“Man, is THIS what happens when your boss ditches you for another book?” (X-Force #43)

I know, right?! (Cable #20)

Pretty sure that every one of the original five has, at some point, referred to Hank as their best and/or closest friend. (Cable #20)

Ouch. (Cable #20)

OUCH. (Cable #20)

I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (Cable #20)

Aw, these guys. And it didn’t even take a bathtub! (Cable #20)

Sometimes a family is eight people in tight clothing posing dramatically for the end of the world. (Cable #20)

NEXT EPISODE: Welcome to Earth-295! Hope you survive the experience!

LINKS & FURTHER EVENT HORIZONS:

Come see us at Emerald City Comic Con! Miles is delightful in person; and Jay, um, exists corporeally.
Jay wrote an X-Men comic! It’s about Cyclops, and it will be out in April. Please tell your local comics shop to order a lot of copies so that they will let him write more.
Also, Thor: Metal Gods continues on over at Serial Box!
We covered the first 3/4 of Legion Quest in Episode 285 – Immediately If Not Sooner…
…and interviewed Fabian Nicieza about X-Force and a bunch of other stuff in Episode 250 – Minding the DNA!
New Intersections: Queer Futurism and the Krakoan Body Politic is a really fascinating article.

286 – Family Before Continuity

February 23, 2020 Jay 16 comments

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In which Sunspot is a bad enough dude to save the president; Black Air is nowhere near as fun as WHO; we reach the end of Fabian Nicieza’s X-Force run; Rictor and Shatterstar talk about feelings; Gambit does not go gently into that good night; Scott and Jean choose family over continuity; Legion Quest comes to a close, along with Earth-616; the heart of Dawn of X is its margins; you should come see us at ECCC; and we announce a new schedule.

X-PLAINED:

The Maker (Reed Richards of Earth-1610)
Jay & Miles at ECCC and FlameCon 2020
Stuff Jay writes
Excalibur #86
X-Force #43
Cable #20
Black Air
Pete Wisdom
What’s been up in Genosha
The Midnight Runner
Navigating Kitty Pryde’s age in Excalibur
A very abrupt ending
The ongoing evolution of X-Force
Locus’s new look
Clubbing with Rictor and Shatterstar
Legion Quest so far
Complicated feelings at the end of the world
A reunion
Where it all started
Vague power sets
Complicated feelings about Dawn of X
The new podcast schedule

NEXT EPISODE: The Age of Apocalypse

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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Come see us at ECCC, March 12-15!

As Mentioned in Episode 285 – Immediately if Not Sooner

February 16, 2020 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Wait, what if Bobby just misuses slang all the time to mess with Bishop? (Uncanny X-Men #320)

What the hell, Legion? (Uncanny X-Men #320)

So, that happened. (Uncanny X-Men #320)

Have fairly normal toes ever seemed as creepy as they do on this cover? I would argue that they have not. (X-Men #40)

If this were fanfic they would immediately have to fake being married to, I dunno, something. (X-Men #40)

Seriously, did ANY readers who didn’t already know recognize this dude as Legion? (X-Men #40)

That shadow! THAT ANGST! (X-Men #40)

“I had always hoped I might find others like us, but I never imagined the continuity would be this impenetrable!” (X-Men #40)

Meanwhile in a sitcom… (X-Men #40)

Tower of Telepaths never really caught on as a board game. (Uncanny X-Men #321)

Just kiss already. (Uncanny X-Men #321)

Greatest caption, or GREATEST CAPTION? (Uncanny X-Men #321)

Wait, has Bishop DISGUISED HIMSELF AS A PIRATE? If the answer is no, I don’t want to know; let me keep this dream. (Uncanny X-Men #321)

JUST KISS ALREADY (Uncanny X-Men #321)

Oh, no. (Uncanny X-Men #321)

Legion, NO. (Uncanny X-Men #321)

You’ve made it to Bishop’s ill-fitting trousers, Cable: just where you needed to be. (Uncanny X-Men #321)

“I knew that someday our future son would travel back in time to kill my best friend.” (X-Men #41)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (X-Men #41)

Ouch. (X-Men #41)

Jubilee gives good advice. (X-Men #41)

The best kiss in X-Men. (X-Men #41)

Okay, but, that first panel. (X-Men #41)

NEXT EPISODE: The end of the world, more, again.

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

Here’s where you can find more on some of the key figures in Legion Quest:
- Legion / David Haller
  - Episode 44 – Assembling Legion, with Si Spurrier
  - Episodes 172–173 – The Muir Island Saga
  - Episode 283 – Legion Quest Quest
- The M’Kraan Crystal and Jahf
  - Episode 9 – Leprechaun Surprise Party
The Apocalypse Triptych is a very cool series of anthologies set before, during, and after various ends of the world.
- (Jay reviewed the first volume when it came out.)

285 – Immediately if Not Sooner

February 16, 2020 Jay 11 comments

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In which Goldballs is still a better name than Egg; we continue our progress towards Earth-295; Legion pulls a Stryfe; we’re still pretty shaky on how to pronounce “M’Kraan”; Xavier and Magneto were absolutely and unquestionably doing sex in the 1970s; it’s time time; the Watcher is watching you masturbate; and what happens immediately before the end of the world is often as important as what happens immediately after.

X-PLAINED:

Balls
Legion (more) (again)
Uncanny X-Men 320-321
X-Men #40
Establishing stakes
Slang of the mid-1990s
Time travel as a dick move
Issues vs. episodes
The M’Kraan Crystal (more) (again)
Hebrew vowels
Latent time travel abilities
Charles Xavier’s “first” bar fight
An exceptional caption
A very bad narrative choice
The death of Charles Francis Xavier
A load-bearing moment in time
Jahf the Guardian
Waiting for the end of the world
The best-drawn kiss in X-Men, ever
The many Krakoas
Integrating Legion into Dawn of X

NEXT EPISODE: More Legion Quest!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 266 – They’re Good Dogs, Miles

October 6, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)

Alex Summers, in a nutshell. I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)

SEE WHAT THEY DID, THERE? I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)

Strong Guy’s family is terrific. I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)

That said, this dude is my favorite colorful local. I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)

SOMEBODY REMEMBERED! KIND OF! I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)

And that’s why you always leave a note. I miss road trips. (X-Factor #103)

Seriously, how is Polaris alive? I miss road trips. (X-Factor #104)

This cannot (and does not) possibly end well. (X-Factor #104)

He sure did that. (X-Factor #104)

And that’s how you supervillain with STYLE. (X-Factor #105)

This arc is almost enough to make us feel bad for Malice, which is a very weird sentence to type. (X-Factor #105)

NEXT EPISODE: Emma Frost goes for a joyride.

LINKS & FURTHER MEMES:

They’re good dogs, Brent.

266 – They’re Good Dogs, Miles

September 29, 2019 Jay 11 comments

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In which Havok goes surfing; Malice eats a poodle; Strong Guy’s ex is a big jerk; Sinister’s gotta Sinister; and Miles learns about a meme.

X-PLAINED:

The Puppet Master
X-Factor #103-105
Comparative Summers brooding
Perks of being a mutant geologist and/or geophysicist
Malice and Polaris’s complicated history
A somewhat convoluted plan
Several reasons to go to Rhinebeck, NY
Friendship
The extended Carosella family
Candy stripers
Mary, who is a big jerk
A Sinister entrance
The Nasty Boys (more) (again)
Karate pants
14-year-old Chris Gethard’s feelings about Jamie Madrox
Ionic vampirism
Misguided vengeance
Pushing back against whitewashing in comics

NEXT EPISODE: Emma Frost takes a joyride

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 265 – Rude Awakenings

September 22, 2019 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Is anyone else weirded out by the fact that that’s supposed to be Forge in the lower right-hand corner? (X-Men Annual #5)

The Shi’ar sext WEIRD. (X-Men Annual #5)

Professor X was definitely naked, right? (X-Men Annual #5)

The weirdest thing about this panel is that the tractor beam seems to have shrunk her shirt by about half. (X-Men Annual #5)

Professor X X-Plains human-Shi’ar relations. (X-Men Annual #5)

FASHION! (X-Men Annual #5)

Imagine how confusing it must be to run into Jubilee on alien planets. (X-Men Annual #5)

I DID NOT NOTICE THE HANGING TEDDY BEAR UNTIL I CLIPPED THE PANEL FOR THIS VISUAL COMPANION. (X-Men Annual #5)

He’s a hugger. (X-Men Annual #5)

Be fair, Gambit: there are a LOT of reasons Cyclops is never fun at parties. (X-Men #34)

BUT WHO IS LURKING IN THE FOREGROUND? (X-Men #34)

Sinister, moisturize your damn clones. (X-Men #34)

Oh, hey, Threnody! (X-Men #34)

‘Kay. (X-Men #34)

Ewwwwwwww. (X-Men #34)

Please bear in mind that these are costumes S.H.I.E.L.D. just happened to have lying around the Helicarrier. (X-Men #35)

“Also, do you know how hard it was to dress you in skintight neoprene while you were unconscious?” (X-Men #35)

The end of the world looks pretty rad. (X-Men #35)

Some artists definitely made some choices. (X-Men #35)

That’s our Cyclops. (X-Men #35)

Some of the layouts in this issue are really nice. (X-Men #35)

Sunset Grace X-Plains Sunset Grace (and marries Ronald Reagan). (X-Men #35)

Ouch. (X-Men #35)

NEXT EPISODE: Malice!

FURTHER LISTENING

We covered The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix in Episode 229 – Giant-Size Special #7!

265 – Rude Awakenings

September 22, 2019 Jay 20 comments

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In which Glen Danzig was the most popular Wolverine fancast for a weirdly long time; breasts have physical mass; the Shi’ar empire is not your friend; Deathbird should not be left in charge of anything alive; Jubilee learns about privilege; Sinister is not subtle; plasma is the new magnetism; Scott and Jean return from the future; and Nick Fury probably sews his name into the waistband of all his underpants.

X-PLAINED:

Some guy from Earth-1610
X-Men: Unlimited #5
X-Men #34-35
Shi’ar sexting
A rude awakening (literal)
Rococo Stryfe
Some uncomfortable fashion choices
X-pajamas
Definitely nude Charles Xavier
Breasts
Shi’ar imperial bullshit
A very impressive headdress
Reality TV… in space!
A rude awakening (metaphorical)
Shi’ar childhood
Negotiation
A total dick move
Another total dick move
Beast’s brief tenure as field leader of the X-Men
The return of Threnody
The titles of several sex tapes
High-tech spelunking
Sinister’s secret DNA library
Controversial outfits
Nick Fury’s stuff
Sunset Grace
The racism inherent to Evan Sabahnur’s background
A question we’ve answered before and will probably answer again

NEXT EPISODE: Malice!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 254 – Carry Each Other

June 30, 2019 Miles 5 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

All these years, Miles thought he was quoting Jean Grey, but it turned out to be Oscar Wilde. AS USUAL. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)

“Dammit, Logan never made me talk about feelings!” (X-Men: The Wedding Album)

Green ain’t your color anyway, kid. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)

I love every aspect of this segment except for every aspect of its format. Except the Jubilee silhouette at the top, that part’s pretty cool. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)