Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Sabretooth

As Mentioned in Episode 411 – Tearaway Pants

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When you meet a straight couple, you should ask them which is the Nic Cage and which is the John Travolta. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Fuckssake, Warren. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Severe costume injuries. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Logan’s skiing / beat poetry outfit. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
After thirty years, Warren finally gets a gun, I guess. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
SERIOUSLY, HOW DO THEY RECOGNIZE IT?! (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Much like Gambit, I hallucinate a team of X-Men insulting me at all times. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Hydro-Man. He sure is. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Jean Grey advocates for change. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Aw. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
See, they body-swapped because of carpet static and… y’know what? Just watch Gravity Falls. You won’t regret it.
NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

411 – Tearaway Pants

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In which we actually kind of like a Sabretooth story; we’re not asking for viscera, here; all pants on Earth-616 are tearaway pants; we’d like to see more Wolverine stories about bodily autonomy; Gambit’s hallucinations have hallucinations; and there are probably too many X-books.

X-PLAINED:

  • Punch-clock villains
  • Hydro-Man’s secret weakness
  • 411
  • ‘90s fashion
  • X-Men Unlimited #17-18
  • X-Men Unlimited vs. annuals
  • A difficult casting decision
  • Forge’s neutralizer gun
  • Costume injuries
  • Color symbolism? Kinda? I guess?
  • Mrs. Hoo
  • Saberine & Wolvertooth
  • Warren Kenneth Worthington III vs. shirts
  • How to dress for Earth-616
  • Hot buttered whatever
  • Boob foliage
  • Clones
  • Very tenacious blood stains
  • The return of the Angry Claremontean Narrator
  • Lots of hallucinations
  • Oscar the Fixer
  • Hydro-Man
  • Redemption, symbolic and otherwise
  • The evolution of Magneto’s name
  • Our ideal X-line

NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 407 – Freshening Up

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(He is not in fact here to help.) (X-Factor #138)
Heh. Omega Red, man. (X-Factor #138)
The most threatening destroyed football you’ll see today. (X-Factor #138)
THAT IS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION. (X-Factor #138)
(Spoiler: That’s Mystique.) (X-Factor #138)
A delightful cover. (X-Factor #139)
This whole sequence is so good. (X-Factor #139)
Ever is weird, and I say that with all respect and admiration! (X-Factor #139)
Dark Beast DEFINITELY has multiple candy-colored iMacs. (X-Factor #139)
Mystique: once again mother of the year. (X-Factor #139)
The preceding page literally had a Slaughterhouse Five reference, and I’m kind of annoyed about it. (X-Factor #140)
Fixx, Greystone, and Archer. (X-Factor #140)
A guy who is probably not Cable. (He’s not; he’s an alternate-future Forge.) (X-Factor #140)
Batman. (X-Factor #140)
There are actually *multiple* people huffing frogs, if you look closely. (X-Factor #141)
SERIOUSLY WHY WOULD YOU EVER TRUST THIS MAN (X-Factor #141)
THE PLOT THICKENS (X-Factor #141)
NEXT EPISODE: Bishop: X.S.E.!

LINKS & FURTHER TIME SINKS

407 – Freshening Up

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In which X-Factor bounces from one rock-bottom to another; Sabretooth gets his (murderous) groove back; Dark Beast embraces the iMac aesthetic; the tip was righteous; Mystique multitasks like a pro; and Shard Bishop has come unstuck in time.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Nation
  • What X-Factor’s been up to
  • X-Factor #138-141
  • Omega Red (again)
  • The Brotherhood’s new hideout
  • Mallory Brickman
  • Miles and/or Ralph Brickman
  • Gloria Brickman
  • “Freshening up”
  • Mystique, but a sitcom
  • Agent Vargas
  • Ever
  • The secret purpose of Havok’s Brotherhood
  • Exhumes vs. emplates
  • Fixx
  • Greystone
  • Archer
  • The X.U.E.
  • Bantam
  • Leisure activities
  • What would happen if the T-O virus took over Cable’s body
  • What we want from X-Men #700

NEXT EPISODE: Bishop: X.S.E.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

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So, that’s where he got it! (Wolverine #-1)
I love this design for Sabretooth. (Wolverine #-1)
And also his car. (Wolverine #-1)
Literally nothing is okay at the Blanding/Masters house. (X-Factor #-1)
Mister Sinister lurks in the bushes. (X-Factor #-1)
They’re AT LEAST in their early 20s. (X-Factor #-1)
DAMN, Haley! (X-Factor #-1)
The most dangerous mini-game. (X-Factor #-1)
Alex Summers in a nutshell. (X-Factor #-1)
Wellp, you did that. (X-Force #-1)
I swear I thought this thing was gonna be a red herring. (X-Force #-1)
Everything cute about this issue is also really sad. (X-Force #-1)
How Thunderbird got his code name. (X-Force #-1)
Don’t worry, Tabby; soon you’ll be stealing with the best of ’em! (X-Force #-1)
The Circus of Cameos. (X-Force #-1)
In which John Produstar straight-up wrassles a tiger. (X-Force #-1)
“We also do a lot of crimes, but they’re pretty low-key as comic-book circus crimes go.” (X-Force #-1)
Ugh, this guy. (X-Force #-1)
Naked in Space: The Charles Francis Xavier Story. (X-Men #-1)
Magneto, a sensible fellow, wears clothes in the vacuum of space. (X-Men #-1)
IT NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY (X-Men #-1)
DRAMATIC! JUXTAPOSITION! (X-Men #-1)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor hits rock-bottom, again.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

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In which we disagree about the value of Stan Lee intros; everybody wants Wolverine; Mister Sinister lurks; Haley Blanding deserves better; Thunderbird fights a tiger; and Xavier and Magneto do their usual thing.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Circus of Crime
  • Stan Lee intros
  • Wolverine #-1
  • X-Factor #-1
  • X-Force #-1
  • X-Men #-1
  • Proust vs. Sartre
  • How Logan joined Alpha Flight
  • The secret origin of the word “canucklehead.”
  • USDA, Annex B
  • Myron MacLain
  • Logan’s cigars
  • Yet more continuity errors
  • Sabretooth’s ridiculous car
  • The balance of scary and silly
  • Wolverine’s cowboy hat
  • Summers family bullshit
  • The Blandings and/or Masterses
  • Vince
  • The Proudstar family
  • One or more cats named Coyote
  • The origin of Thunderbird’s totem
  • Edwin Martynec (again)
  • Chondu the Magician
  • Ringmaster
  • Yet more Xavier and Magneto flashback drama
  • The bottom of the resurrection queue
  • Good car-trip episodes

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor continues to make poor decisions

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 397 – Mürdr at IKEA

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Daydreamers this is not. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Chop Chop’s weapon is a machete, Yuri’s weapon is his fist, and artist Frank Teran’s weapon is the color black. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
I wish Wild Child and Bob Hoskins always looked like this. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Sabretooth and Wild Child may look similar in close-up, but there’s never a question of who’s who. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
When less detail equals more horror. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR GIVING YOUR BAR THAT NAME (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Yes! Use more black, Frank Teran! More! (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Scrrfffle. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Wild Child is shadowed like a villain… until he isn’t. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
What are the odds?! (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
That guy’s mustache is no match for Psychic Paper. (X-Factor #136)
The iPhone 14 Pro’s cameras ain’t got nothin’ on these. (X-Factor #136)
Have you ever noticed that RAD and HAM have the same number of letters? (X-Factor #136)
WAT (X-Factor #136)
Jeff Matsuda stole some of Frank Teran’s black and is using it well. (X-Factor #136)
Put that towel down! You know you don’t sweat! (X-Factor #136)
“Huh?” is right. (X-Factor #136)
This seems way less efficient than leaving a voicemail. (X-Factor #136)
I HAVE QUESTIONS (X-Factor #137)
Best exes. (X-Factor #137)
It’s a little thing, but I like the symbolism of the seemingly arbitrary background shapes. (X-Factor #137)
It’s a credit to Mystique that she can be legitimately scary while wearing that. (X-Factor #137)
Again with the implied gore. (X-Factor #137)
Of course, honey. Of course. (X-Factor #137)
NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men return from space!

397 – Mürdr at IKEA

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Al Kennedy and Miles enter a somewhat post-OZT world, the art of Frank Teran (whose uncle built a jetpack) elevates an otherwise merely decent story, Puck is played by Bob Hoskins, Wild Child gets a chance to shine, Mystique and Forge are sitting in a tree, and Swamp Thing is amazing.

X-PLAINED:

  • Spider-Man’s head cold
  • Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1
  • Sabretooth (Victor Creed)
  • Wild Child (Kyle Gibney)
  • Horrible violence, expertly implied
  • The ubiquity of sewers
  • Saturday morning cartoons of R-rated movies
  • Serial killers with G.I. Joe names
  • Improbable tracking
  • Bilingual crime
  • Chekhov’s waterfall
  • DRUGS
  • X-Factor #136-137
  • The Hound program
  • Skeumorphism
  • Doctor Valerie Cooper and Major Edmond Atkinson, excellent exes
  • Questionable wound-dressing
  • Holograms
  • Government jobs
  • The sad fate of the Chase family
  • Nimrod disambiguation
  • The Marvel Universe According to Doctor Seuss

NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men return from space!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 381 – If We Told You, We’d Have to Kill You

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
If Alex Summers had more issues, he’d be a comics shop. (X-Factor #131)
I guess he swallowed the thumb, which makes its lack of repeat appearance less surprising. (X-Factor #131)
The world’s slowest plasma blast. (X-Factor #131)
The real reason for Jamie Madrox’s heel turn. (X-Factor #132)
“And if you don’t like our terms, there’s also a free AOL install!” (X-Factor #132)
Agent Bowser. (X-Factor #133)
The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Sabretooth. (X-Factor #133)
The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Wild Child. (X-Factor #133)
The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Polaris and Shard. (X-Factor #133)
The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Mystique. (X-Factor #133)
The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Forge. (X-Factor #133)
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. Crimson Dawn!

 

381 – If We Told You, We’d Have to Kill You

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which real life sucks; Havok may or may not be a bad enough dude to rescue mutantkind; X-Factor quits; CD-ROMs were never THAT cool; subtlety is for suckers; Val Cooper hates nothing more than she hates the U.S. government; and Jamie Madrox wants nothing to do with your nonsense.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to end a wedding
  • X-Factor #130-133
  • Malice (again)
  • A thumb (and the biting thereof)
  • Barnes (and her hair)
  • The relative versatility of plasma
  • The Brotherhood
  • A ruse and/or retcon
  • Lighting design
  • A CD-ROM
  • The time Jay wrote some Captain America comics
  • The last time you’re gonna see these
  • Trevor Chase (more)
  • One thing that might’ve inspired Jamie Madrox’s heel turn
  • The nature of Jamie Madrox’s relative mortality
  • Brand names
  • Many faked deaths
  • Agent Bowser
  • A very fancy haunted house
  • X-Factor’s true calling
  • The X.S.E. (again)
  • Mutant shifts in adaptations
  • ‘Nuff said

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. Crimson Dawn!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!