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As Mentioned in Episode 225 – Class Reunion (feat. Austin Gorton)

December 2, 2018 As Mentioned, As Mentioned 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

I miss when comics had dialogue on their covers! And when Emma Frost was ten feet tall. (New Warriors #10)

“Your uzi is no match for my very tall right boot!” (New Warriors #10)

If Emma’s telepathy weren’t invisible, this is exactly how viscerally violent it would look. (New Warriors #10)

Oh, Speedball – never change. Like, especially into a mopey edgelord with spikes inside his costume. (New Warriors #10)

Angelica Jones, you warm my heart. And also everything else. (New Warriors #10)

The tarot of the who now? (New Warriors #10)

You tell her, Firestar! (New Warriors #10)

Darick Robertson, you sure can draw… everything. (New Warriors #31)

Background-Cyclops is annoyed at the damned teenagers always hogging the phone line with their endless calls and their AOLs. (New Warriors #31)

Cannonball’s facial expression speaks for us all. (New Warriors #31)

Remember – neither of these women actually has flame powers! (New Warriors #31)

I bet there’s a long German word for the terror that comes from knowing you’re about to crash into your friend’s crotch at seventy miles per hour (and a second word for the terror that comes from being on the receiving end). (New Warriors #31)

Shine on, you justifiedly resentful diamond. (New Warriors #31)

That’s it. That’s the whole explanation. (New Warriors #31)

Emma Frost believes strongly in clear labels. (New Warriors #31)

I liked the yellow better, but this ain’t bad. (New Warriors #31)

Next time: X-Factor finally makes it to Genosha!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

We talked all about Firestar in Episode 42 – A Firestar Is Born
Check out Austin Gorton’s X-Aminations – writeups of every X-issue from 1963 on!
Listen to Austin on his podcast, A Very Special Episode!

225 – Class Reunion (feat. Austin Gorton)

December 2, 2018 podcasts 15 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we check in on Firestar and the New Warriors; superheroes often celebrate Bring Your Mom To The Amazon Day; Fabian Nicieza employs only the finest of lampshades; and Emma Frost still doesn’t apologize for blowing up that pony.

X-PLAINED:

Vance Astro(vik)
Penance (but not that one)
Austin Gorton’s X-Aminations
New Warriors #10
Firestar (Angelica Jones)
The New Warriors
Visual representations of invisible mutant powers
The Hellions (more) (again)
Tarot and her Morrisonian powers
Bevatrons
Oxy-cution
The inevitably increasing complexity of superhero origins
The Miracle of Microwaves
New Warriors #31
Nova Roma
Magma (Amara Aquilla) (or Allison Crestmere, I guess)
A brief and futile attempt at Roman soldier disambiguation
Empath and his large collection of red flags
Gender-based intuition
A massive, stupid, and quickly undone retcon
Super-nature versus super-nurture
The hypothetical psychological roots of Emma Frost’s fashion phases

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor finally makes it to Genosha!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 180 – Lawful Badass

January 14, 2018 As Mentioned, As Mentioned 3 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

What you see is pretty much what you get. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

Cybernetic fuckboys. Don’t worry, they’re all going to die soon. For now. Mostly. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

That is… certainly some dialogue, there. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

And that’s why she’s the boss. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

“We eat dinner naked. It’s very sexy. And then we do the sexy dishes, sexily.” (Uncanny X-Men #281)

Oh, no! Not Bevatron! (Uncanny X-Men #281)

If you had told me a year ago that there was armor worse than Cameron Hodge’s ruby quartz armor, I would not have believed you. Mea culpa. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

Oh, no, not again. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

OH HELL YES. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

Professor X is kind of a sore winner. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

And then, suddenly, Storm was telekinetic. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

That’s gotta sting. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

“But first, The Very Hungry Caterpillar.” (Uncanny X-Men #282)

Earth-1191 is AMAZING. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

I really want to know if all these criminals dressed up special for the occasion, or if this is just what everyone hangs out looking like in the future. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

ABOUT DAMN TIME. (See what I did, there?) (Uncanny X-Men #282)

“Ha, ha!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)

Aw, this kid. (Uncanny X-Men #283)

“I’m going to the comics shop to cancel my subscription RIGHT NOW!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)

Bishop, I know you come from a difficult timeline, but even you have to appreciate how rad that Walt Simonson Archangel design is. (Uncanny X-Men #283)

Are… Iceman and Colossus levitating? (Uncanny X-Men #283)

This is why we–or at least the Upstarts–can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #283)

NEXT EPISODE: Guns ‘n’ Pouches!

180 – Lawful Badass

January 14, 2018 podcasts 59 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay is deeply invested in The Gifted; Trevor Fitzroy is generally inexcusable; there are a lot of reasons to be uncomfortable in the Hellfire Club; the mix just got altered in this little clambake; Jean Grey (kind of) dies (again); Earth-1191 gives the Age of Apocalypse some glam competition; Lucas Bishop is a pretty decent metaphor for fan culture; everyone is probably Kang the Conqueror; and now Miles really has no excuse for not watching The Prisoner.

X-PLAINED:

The Chronomancer and his Chronobots
The Gifted
Lucas Bishop’s creative origins
Trevor Fitzroy
Goatee Theory
X-Factor #67
Uncanny X-Men #281-283
Dapper Lesbian Shinobi Shaw
A briefly useful mnemonic
Cybernetic fuckboys
The return of Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s hair
Beef and Bevatron
The deaths of the Hellions
Warhammer
Some of the challenges of X-Plaining the ’90s
Bringing a knife to a Sentinel fight
Bantam
A bunch of bad guys from the future
Bishop
Randall
Malcolm
Earth-1191
The Gamemaster
X-Men we’d like to see come out as trans (revisited)
Whether either or both of us are Kang the Conquerer

NEXT EPISODE: Pouches and Guns

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

119 – Red Night of the Soul (feat. Elisabeth Allie)

August 1, 2016 podcasts 22 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Elisabeth hacks the Matrix; Magneto is the worst at small talk; Hela overreaches; parents just don’t understand human speech; everything is better with super-rings; Selene has a Xena moment; almost anything can be solved with a kiss; and even if you transform Doug Ramsey into a giant red murder monster, he’ll still be a huge nerd.

X-PLAINED:

The S-Men
New Mutants Forever #1-5
Magma’s revised family tree
Updating the New Mutants
The delicate balance of the Forever line
The web
Idiom confusion
A flawed cultural analogy
Tiberius the Generic
Several profoundly dubious costumes
Family resemblance
Skull v. Skull
The dearth of canonically asexual X-characters

NEXT EPISODE: Different Nazis

Miles here – in one of the questions for this episode, I conflated asexuality and aromanticness. Those are totally two different things. Apologies – I’m still learning!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 117 – How to Pee Like a Supervillain

July 18, 2016 As Mentioned, As Mentioned 7 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

Babies, amirite? (New Mutants #74)

At least we know from a previous panel that they’ve both already washed their hands. (New Mutants #74)

IT’S CANON: No fighting in the Hellfire Club bathrooms. (New X-Men #142)

Warlock is adorable and Ship is adorable and everything is adorable. (New Mutants #74)

This cannot end anything but well. (New Mutants #74)

“Have you learned nothing about foreshadowing crossover events?” (New Mutants #75)

“We’re gonna go hang out with Namor! He’d never start a war!” (New Mutants #75)

I want to go to school on Ship. (New Mutants #76)

Possibly the purest distillation of Doctor Doom as a character. (Spidey Super Stories #53)

Boom Boom, like Doom, does what she wants. (New Mutants #76)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (New Mutants #76)

This man is unflaggingly delightful. (New Mutants #76)

“Again?” (New Mutants #76)

NOPE. (New Mutants #76)

(2 of 2) (Astonishing X-Men #12)

NEXT EPISODE: Trolls!

117 – How to Pee Like a Supervillain

July 17, 2016 podcasts 36 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Gossamyr definitely probably doesn’t get blown up; we engage in a long and surprisingly canon-based exploration of Hellfire Club bathroom etiquette; the New Mutants break up with Magneto; you should probably never go swimming in the Marvel Universe; and it is possible (but unlikely) that Jay yells “IMPERIUS REX” more than is strictly necessary.

X-PLAINED

New Son/New Sun
Post-Inferno New Mutants
New Mutants #74-76
Babies
Ship shipping
Inanimate objects Warlock has attempted to befriend
Hellfire Club bathroom etiquette
A long-anticipated showdown
Magneto’s on-again-off-again children
The Mutant Wars
The Grey King (but not The Grey King)
Undersea creatures that have no business near New York
An Atlantean artificat of dubious provenance
How to deter a giant and possibly supernatural octopus
Recycled powers
Friendly sentinels

NOTE: The Dispossessed is in fact by Ursula K. Le Guin.

NEXT EPISODE: Trolls!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 71 – The Once and Fuchsia King

August 24, 2015 As Mentioned, As Mentioned 4 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

Spoiler: They will be back next issue. (New Mutants #51)

“If they’d learned anything from me, they’d be faking their own deaths!” (New Mutants #51)

DRAMA! (New Mutants #51)

No, the OTHER Plan Omega. (New Mutants #51)

Kevin Nowlan draws a rad Hepzibah. (New Mutants #51)

PROFESSOR XAVIER IS A JERK. (New Mutants #51)

“Well, I should probably see what the study group thinks, but I’m thinking fuchsia.” (New Mutants #51)

Sebastian Shaw takes dress codes seriously. (New Mutants #51)

She even LOOKS like she stepped off a power metal album cover. (New Mutants #52)

HE’S NOT WRONG. (New Mutants #52)

Aw, kiddo. (New Mutants #52)

Fighting xenomorphs, from the look of it. (New Mutants #52)

Love the body language on this page. (New Mutants #52)

We keep saying that this whole era feels like an inexorable escalation toward Inferno, and, yeah. That. (New Mutants #52)

I was gonna make a “subtext: not just for the ladies” joke, but I’m pretty sure it’s just text at this point. (New Mutants #53)

Aw, man. (New Mutants #53)

TWIST! Don’t worry, this’ll come back up eventually. (New Mutants #53)

“…But can you take them anywhere?” Spoiler: NO. No, you can’t. (New Mutants #53)

Magik intimidating Empath is the gift that keeps on giving. (New Mutants #53)

Make good choices, Cypher! (New Mutants #53)

Or, y’know, not. (New Mutants #53)

Sam Guthrie: Everyone’s best big brother. (New Mutants #54)

“I love you, but I have to leave the team because your costumes are SO BAD.” (New Mutants #54)

SO, THAT HAPPENED. (New Mutants #54)

Has anyone else noticed that Doug’s superhero career is basically a series of dress rehearsals for his eventual death. (New Mutants #54)

I genuinely can’t tell if this is a good burn or not: on one hand, the New Mutants’ costumes are objectively way worse; but on the other hand, the Hellions’ costumes are way more circus-y. (New Mutants #54)

NEXT WEEK: It’s hard to be Havok.

LINKS:

If you’re curious about the Starjammers, go listen to Episode 7 – Cyclops Has a Good Day, in which we discuss them at length with Greg Rucka.
The podcast where two dudes watch and review Grown Ups 2 every week is an actual, real thing, which you can listen to here.

71 – The Once and Fuchsia King

August 24, 2015 podcasts 24 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which the New Mutants return from space; Professor Xavier ruins everything; Magneto is the Craig Pelton of X-Men; Cypher carouses shamefully with Hellfire tramps; Karma quits the team; and we wrap up Chris Claremont’s New Mutants run.

X-PLAINED:

Leong and Nga Coy Manh
New Mutants #51-54
The Starjammers (again)
The paradox of Professor X
Several dramatic speeches
The Hellfire Club for Creative Anachronism
Plan Omega (but not that one)
A fairly epic dress-code violation
Magik vs. Limbo
A very specific bit of fancasting
Best Magneto
What X-fans (may or may not) live for
A well-wrought nightmare
Hellion disambiguation
Doug Ramsey’s Fancy Hair
New Mutants X Frank Zappa
Wacky teen hijinks at the Hellfire Club
Carousing shamefully with Hellfire tramps
A heroic challenge
A counterintuitive heart’s desire
Claremont’s New Mutants run.
Libraries
Emma Frost’s accent
The sounds of blastin’

NEXT WEEK: It’s hard to be Havok.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 60 – Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

June 8, 2015 As Mentioned, As Mentioned 4 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

The last thing you see before you die. (Uncanny X-Men #206)

Do you ‘ship Storm and Bree Morrell now? You probably should. (Uncanny X-Men #206)

The outfits in this arc are just 100% amazing. (Uncanny X-Men #206)

Damnit, Rachel. This is why we can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #206)

“Teamwork! Our only weakness!” (Uncanny X-Men #206)

“It’s Madelyne! They’ve shot her! And dyed her hair! And given her fairly extensive cosmetic surgery!” (Uncanny X-Men #206)

Wolverine hates Arizona. (Uncanny X-Men #207)

We were going to make up a drinking game based around how many times Wolverine really or metaphorically kills Rachel in this story, but you would die of alcohol poisoning by the end of the first issue. (Uncanny X-Men #207)