sentinels – Page 2 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

355 – All Sentinels Are Bastards

December 12, 2021 Jay 18 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we take a break from X-Men to talk Onslaught tie-ins; Miles learns about coffee shop AUs; Sentinels are very large; there are no bystanders in a crossover event; we are really not Punisher people; and all the bad guys have plans.

X-PLAINED:

The Clone Saga (briefly)
How not to dispose of a dead clone
Ben Reilly
Amazing Spider-Man #415
Spider-Man #72
Green Goblin #12
Punisher #11
Onslaught’s increasingly nebulous goals
Sentinel timing
Coffee shop AUs
Sentinels in Manhattan
Several fights with Sentinels
Green Goblin (Phil Urich)
Uncles Ben
The Lunatic Laugh
Punisher (Frank Castle) (briefly)
Yet another helicarrier crash
The happiest cannon fodder
The Junkyard Dogs
Rashid Hammer Jones
The surprisingly exciting world of NYC maritime salvage
Make-believe superpowers
Deadlines

NEXT EPISODE: A Big Fight

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As Mentioned in Episode 349 – Onslaught Secret Weapon Force Power Slammers

October 17, 2021 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Ahh, it’ll be fine. (Cable #34)

Sure, why not? (Cable #34)

I kind of wish he’d gotten to keep his massive fucked up arm. (Cable #34)

Start your red-string maps here. (Incredible Hulk #444)

GIANT SCREAMING ROCK! (Incredible Hulk #444)

SURE, WHY NOT? (Incredible Hulk #444)

Hulk just want to be left alone. (Incredible Hulk #444)

Sinister certainly knows how to make an entrance. (X-Man #18)

Aw, Caliban. (X-Force #57)

And there goes another Xavier school! (X-Force #57)

It’s no Bogdanove, but it’ll do. (X-Force #57)

I love that Onslaught’s happening and Sinister is just playing out this whole entire other story. (X-Force #57)

NEXT EPISODE: Hawk talk! NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught continues to continue.

LINKS & FURTHER COMPLICATIONS

On Coming Out, Queer Identity, and Continuity in All-New X-Men #40

349 – Onslaught Secret Weapon Force Power Slammers

October 10, 2021 Jay 25 comments

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In which Onslaught nomenclature has some consistency issues; electricity is the new magnetism; Nate Grey mopes; Sinister doesn’t care about your guns; the Xavier mansion blows up (again); and we track down an elusive Sentinel.

X-PLAINED

Doctor Doom’s absolutely irrelevant Onslaught encounter
Cable #34
Incredible Hulk #444
X-Man #18
X-Force #57
Onslaught Phases vs. Impacts
Ozymandias (more) (again)
Post (more) (again)
Cable’s ridiculous motorcycle
Several Hulks
Behemoth
Cable/Storm
The Betty Conspiracy
Rocks that yell
Alpacalypse
Multiversal disambiguation
Some unlikely sound effects
An anti-Sinister failsafe
A self-destruct system
Warpath and Risque
A hug
A very specific Sentinel
Coming out in adulthood

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Somehow We Have Made 350 of These (and also more Onslaught)

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As Mentioned in Episode 314 – Feelings, Alaska

November 16, 2020 Jay 3 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Of course, that’s also exactly what a hologram would say. (X-Factor #115)

WHY DOES FORGE HAVE ALL THIS STUFF SAVED IN HIS HOLODECK? (X-Factor #115)

I’m putting all three pages of this flashback in the visual companion, because, while this scene has been shown roughly a zillion times, this one is the gold standard. (X-Factor #115)

This scene is ALSO a pretty good thumbnail guide to how to write Alex Summers and why. (X-Factor #115)

And that’s that, folks! (X-Factor #115)

“I mean, why do YOU come to Alaska? (X-Factor #115)

HECK YEAH (X-Factor #115)

THESE DORKS I LOVE THEM (X-Factor #115)

*wipes away a single tear* (X-Factor #115)

MILES WAS RIGHT. I stand corrected. -J (X-Factor #116)

Shard is cool, but she’d be cooler if she weren’t a cop. (X-Factor #116)

WHAT?! Superheroes trying to TALK through a misunderstanding? Surely Alpha Flight will jump straight to the punching, at least. (X-Factor #116)

…NOPE. (X-Factor #116)

Uncalled for, Roma. (X-Factor #117)

Seriously, don’t sic a sentinel on your team *because you’re not sure one of its members can adequately control his powers.* (X-Factor #117)

I’m pretty sure Random mostly wants a Jolt Cola(TM) and a Sega CD. (X-Factor #117)

…THEY FIGHT CRIME! (X-Factor #118)

Seriously, Random, nobody cares. (X-Factor #118)

Ah, yes, the flaming chasms of… somewhere. (X-Factor #118)

Well, that’s Random. (X-Factor #118)

NEXT EPISODE: Gambit & Wolverine!

LINKS & FURTHER MISUNDERSTANDINGS:

Lauretta Jean’s makes the best pie on earth, and Jay misses it desperately.
Wanna make comics? Wally Wood’s 22 Panels That Always Work are an incredibly useful resource.
We watched so much Sealab 2021 in college.
If you’re interested in the intersections of psychology and superhero comics, check out The Arkham Sessions!
PREVIOUSLY ON JAY & MILES X-PLAIN THE X-MEN
- For more about Scott and Alex’s origin story and picking which versions of canon count, check out Episode 308 – No Story Is the Whole Story.
- Hear about Roma and The Adversary’s last fight in Episode 86 – Legends.
- Dr. Andrea Letamendi joined us to discuss representations of mental illness and therapy in X-Factor in Episode 216 – X-Amining X-Factor.
- Our coverage of the Age of Apocalypse starts in Episode 287 – Welcome to the Age of Apocalypse…
- …and we focus on Cyclops and Havok’s relationship in that universe in Episode 292 – Weekend at Sinster’s.

314 – Feelings, Alaska

November 16, 2020 Jay 7 comments

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In which Haven deserved better; Cyclops and Havok have a lot of feelings in Alaska; X-Factor is the cop team; breaking up with your girlfriend between issues is a massive faux pas; Haven got a bad deal; no one cares about Random’s feelings; Spiral is weird Twitter; and Alex Summers once again fails to finish his dissertation.

X-PLAINED:

Chaos (Daniel Dash)
Pie
Power suits vs. power suits
X-Factor #115-118
Haven (more) (again)
The Adversary (more) (again)
Naze (more) (again)
Several people who may or may not be holograms
One of Jay’s all-time-favorite single issues
Howard Mackie
Wally Wood’s 22 Panels
The Summers Family plane crash
Cyclops and Havok’s relationship
Havok’s Silver Age origins
Trans readings of Alex Summers
Shard (more) (again)
Canadian drama
A trap
The return of Random
Roma (again)
Mojoworlders on social media
Which X-teens should be audience surrogates in a new animated series

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine & Gambit!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 296 – Hard Choices

May 31, 2020 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

“Are you coming too, mysterious hooded stranger? My sister, Carmen Sandiego, would love to have you along!” (Amazing X-Men #1)

Danger Room cold open, Earth-295-style! (Amazing X-Men #1)

“Just a few more hours and a few dozen more cigarettes until Tom Waits karaoke night!” (Amazing X-Men #1)

“For further details, my X-Men, you must buy every other X-comic on the stands. Excelsior!” (Amazing X-Men #1)

As the famous thinker Parappa the Rapper once so wisely said: you gotta believe. (Amazing X-Men #1)

Earth-295 Sentinels may be lacking in toboggan hats and robot one-piece swimsuits, but they’re still pretty impressive. (Amazing X-Men #1)

Half unspooled VHS tape, half Slinky, all nuisance. (Amazing X-Men #2)

“Go easy on ’em, X-Men – they remembered to use our logo font, and that was very considerate of them.” (Amazing X-Men #2)

Banshee’s facial expression speaks for us all. (Amazing X-Men #2)

Okay, that’s legit terrifying. (Amazing X-Men #2)

Quicksilver? More like FRIPsilver! (Amazing X-Men #2)

If the title wasn’t already taken, Magneto’s autobiography would be called The Brood Saga. (Amazing X-Men #3)

It takes a true villain to make “being stretchy” an intimidating superpower. (Amazing X-Men #3)

Mary Poppins: The Snyder Cut. (Amazing X-Men #3)

Shaking Angel down for information is an X-Men rite of passage. (Amazing X-Men #3)

Open wide and say “flashback”! (Amazing X-Men #3)

you guys I think I’m in the wrong church (Amazing X-Men #4)

This may be bad, but at least he doesn’t have to die of a mutant-targeting virus twice in the Age of Apocalypse the way he does in Earth-616… (Amazing X-Men #4)

Generation Next – ripping our hearts out even when it’s someone else’s comic! (Amazing X-Men #4)

I know you’re mad at Gambit, Rogue, but did you really have to punch his legs off? (Amazing X-Men #4)

Aww, damn – he was just one week away from retirement! (Amazing X-Men #4)

*raises lighter* (Amazing X-Men #4)

NEXT EPISODE: This guy.

296 – Hard Choices

May 31, 2020 Jay 8 comments

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In which Magneto doesn’t really do work/live divide; Amazing X-Men is a bit of a misnomer; Exodus is the lawful evil to Fabian Cortez’s chaotic evil; smoking is bad for you; moisture molecular inversion is fairly definitely not a real thing; Earth-295 Quicksilver and Earth-616 Cyclops would probably get along; OSHA would probably like a word with the Madrii; Gambit had ONE JOB; and there are no superheroes in the Age of Apocalypse.

X-PLAINED:

An unlikely team-up
Relative amazingness
Amazing X-Men #1-5
Color separations
Comics credits
The Brotherhood of Mutants and/or Chaos
The Great Human Airlift
Exodus (more) (again)
Best Quicksilver (Earth-295)
Abyss
A dubiously aerodynamic cape
One last job
Several points of semantic distinction
Lone Nanny & Cub
The most punchable man on Earth-295
A difficult choice
What it means to be X-Men
Dick Valentine
Jamie Madrox (Earth-295)
A world without superheroes
Universe numbering

NEXT EPISODE: X-Man!

CORRECTION: The line about fence-straddling that Jay attributed to Wonder Woman was in fact spoken by Hawkgirl.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This June, we’ll be donating all of the profits to Trans Lifeline!

As Mentioned in Episode 291 – Eat Malarkey and Die

April 12, 2020 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Logan just straight-up has a mane in this timeline. (Weapon X #1)

Seriously, this has to be the worst mode of transportation. (Weapon X #1)

“I’ll finish you, just like I finished my disserta– ohhhh, shit.” (Weapon X #1)

NEVER NOT FUNNY. (Weapon X #1)

Is… is Logan saying that he hopes Havok gets teleported into somebody’s butt? (Weapon X #1)

Snnnnrk. (Weapon X #1)

He spends hours thinking ’em up. (Weapon X #1)

Seriously, if it weren’t for that damn pose, this page would be SO cool. (Weapon X #1)

Logan subscribes to the Dan McNinja school of tactics. (Weapon X #2)

To his credit, I’d be pretty nonplussed if this fell through my ceiling. (Weapon X #2)

The setup… (Weapon X #2)

…and the punchline. (Weapon X #2)

I see what you did, there. (Weapon X #3)

She doesn’t seem to have a sash, so I’m just going to go ahead and assume that Carol-295 just carries rhythmic gymnastic ribbons to make her leaps look more dramatic. (Weapon X #3)

This version of Gateway is really cool, and deserves both more page space and more analysis than he gets. (Weapon X #3)

CAROL FOREVER. (Weapon X #3)

Was Logan just, like, saving this for a rainy day? (Weapon X #4)

That is certainly one way to navigate an airship. (Weapon X #4)

You know nothing pleasant is going to follow this sound effect. (Weapon X #4)

‘Kay. (Weapon X #4)

NEXT EPISODE: Vulcan is still the worst Summers Brother in any universe, though.

LINKS & FURTHER ATROCITIES

Here is a recording of William S. Burroughs performing R.E.M.’s “Star Me Kitten.”

291 – Eat Malarkey and Die

April 12, 2020 Jay 22 comments

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In which we celebrate a birthday; nuclear war is never a good Plan A; every Logan is Old Man Logan; we are underwhelmed by the Pretty Boys of Earth-295; Jean Grey is one hell of a pilot; there are so many reasons not to like Donald Pierce; teleporters are the narrative nuclei of the Age of Apocalypse; and Gateway of Earth-295 deserves significantly more in-depth exploration than we can provide.

X-PLAINED:

Weapon X (Logan)
Weapon X #1-4
Irony
Coordinating costumes to tattoos (and vice versa)
How to ride a sentinel
Apocalypse’s sea wall
Mutant power classifications
The mass human evacuation
Nuclear war
Magma
A load of malarkey
Interactions of telepathy and PTSD
The Pretty Boys of Earth-295
How not to jump out of a zeppelin
What Carol Danvers smells like
Gateway (Earth-295)
An exceptionally high-tech guilt trip
Unconventional navigation
Character transformations between universes
The complex conundrum of Jean Grey
When humans became aware about mutants
Logan’s D&D alignment
Our own D&D character histories

NEXT EPISODE: Factor X!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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