Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: sentinels

263 – The Oldest Teens of Them All

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Cable and Domino may or may not be very old teenagers; disguises are not Dani Moonstar’s strong suit; Empath remains awful; Shatterstar probably talks exactly like a telenovela; X-Force needs an office manager; Mothra is larger than most things; and if you get to choose between being an External or a Guthrie, always be a Guthrie.

X-PLAINED:

  • Bastion, to some extent
  • X-Force #34-37
  • Optical disambiguation
  • Moonstar
  • Face tentacle semantics
  • Sandwiches (again)
  • The Richter family
  • An entirely avoidable fight
  • Some time-travel bullshit
  • Hannigan Electronics
  • An insecurity system
  • Nimrods
  • Things neural networks would probably do instead of murdering you
  • Defining traits of the Externals
  • Adoption, X-Factor style
  • Wolverine: The Long Night

NEXT EPISODE: Douglock!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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224 – Fix the Future

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Alan Davis performs his pièce de résistance; the personification of Death is surprisingly supportive; Rachel Summers is the One True Phoenix; Kitty Pryde goes full ’90s; syntax saves the world; and the first Excalibur series should really have ended with #67.

X-PLAINED:

  • Origins of Phoenix mythology
  • Excalibur #61-67
  • The Phoenix Force (more) (again)
  • Rachel Summers (more) (again)
  • Earth-811 (more) (again)
  • Phoenix vs. Galactus
  • A pep talk from Death
  • The One True Phoenix
  • The dark, distant future of 2013
  • The dark, even more distant future of 2015
  • The extremely complicated future of Kate Pryde
  • Rory Campbell / Ahab
  • What may or may not be Ahab’s theme song
  • Moby Dick, kind of
  • That one time Widget was a car
  • Resistance Coordination Executive
  • Dark Angel
  • Killpower
  • Albion
  • Grace
  • Tangerine
  • Arthur
  • An Excalibur #54 callback
  • Excalibur (the gun)
  • Kitty’s new image
  • How to hack the robot apocalypse
  • Saved by the Bell: The College Years
  • Where Excalibur should have ended
  • Tactical use of Magneto’s hat
  • Anti-assimilation stories in X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: The Passion of Butter Rum (feat. Austin Gorton)

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 180 – Lawful Badass

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
What you see is pretty much what you get. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
Cybernetic fuckboys. Don’t worry, they’re all going to die soon. For now. Mostly. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
That is… certainly some dialogue, there. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
And that’s why she’s the boss. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
“We eat dinner naked. It’s very sexy. And then we do the sexy dishes, sexily.” (Uncanny X-Men #281)
Oh, no! Not Bevatron! (Uncanny X-Men #281)
If you had told me a year ago that there was armor worse than Cameron Hodge’s ruby quartz armor, I would not have believed you. Mea culpa. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
Oh, no, not again. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
OH HELL YES. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
Professor X is kind of a sore winner. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
And then, suddenly, Storm was telekinetic. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
That’s gotta sting. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
“But first, The Very Hungry Caterpillar.” (Uncanny X-Men #282)
Earth-1191 is AMAZING. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
I really want to know if all these criminals dressed up special for the occasion, or if this is just what everyone hangs out looking like in the future. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
ABOUT DAMN TIME. (See what I did, there?) (Uncanny X-Men #282)
“Ha, ha!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)
Aw, this kid. (Uncanny X-Men #283)
“I’m going to the comics shop to cancel my subscription RIGHT NOW!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)
Bishop, I know you come from a difficult timeline, but even you have to appreciate how rad that Walt Simonson Archangel design is. (Uncanny X-Men #283)
Are… Iceman and Colossus levitating? (Uncanny X-Men #283)
This is why we–or at least the Upstarts–can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #283)
NEXT EPISODE: Guns ‘n’ Pouches!

FURTHER READING, WATCHING, & LISTENING:

180 – Lawful Badass

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay is deeply invested in The Gifted; Trevor Fitzroy is generally inexcusable; there are a lot of reasons to be uncomfortable in the Hellfire Club; the mix just got altered in this little clambake; Jean Grey (kind of) dies (again); Earth-1191 gives the Age of Apocalypse some glam competition; Lucas Bishop is a pretty decent metaphor for fan culture; everyone is probably Kang the Conqueror; and now Miles really has no excuse for not watching The Prisoner.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Chronomancer and his Chronobots
  • The Gifted
  • Lucas Bishop’s creative origins
  • Trevor Fitzroy
  • Goatee Theory
  • X-Factor #67
  • Uncanny X-Men #281-283
  • Dapper Lesbian Shinobi Shaw
  • A briefly useful mnemonic
  • Cybernetic fuckboys
  • The return of Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s hair
  • Beef and Bevatron
  • The deaths of the Hellions
  • Warhammer
  • Some of the challenges of X-Plaining the ’90s
  • Bringing a knife to a Sentinel fight
  • Bantam
  • A bunch of bad guys from the future
  • Bishop
  • Randall
  • Malcolm
  • Earth-1191
  • The Gamemaster
  • X-Men we’d like to see come out as trans (revisited)
  • Whether either or both of us are Kang the Conquerer

NEXT EPISODE: Pouches and Guns

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 163 – Shut Up, Conscience

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Soviet Plot is my favorite porn mag. (Marvel Comics Presents #10)
In case you were wondering whether this was an Ann Nocenti story: yes. (Marvel Comics Presents #10)
This picnic is terrible. (Marvel Comics Presents #11)
“Just step out back to the kidnap van!” (Marvel Comics Presents #12)
These fuckers are the worst people in the story. (Marvel Comics Presents #13)
Okay, but seriously, I want a fort like this. (Marvel Comics Presents #11)
“We’ll talk about kyriarchy later, kiddo.” (Marvel Comics Presents #13)
“Okay, but… why did you resign?” (Marvel Comics Presents #14)
Oof. (Marvel Comics Presents #14)
In their defense, this is pretty terrifying. (Marvel Comics Presents #15)
If only they’d given him mongoose blood, he could’a gotten super speed! (Marvel Comics Presents #15)
THESE ASSHOLES, SERIOUSLY. (Marvel Comics Presents #15)
“How did your grandpa die, Zackery?” “Narrative necessity.” (Marvel Comics Presents #16)
And then nothing was ever okay again. The end! (Marvel Comics Presents #17)
Cyclops: Still the worst at vacations. (Marvel Comics Presents #17)
Fun fact: the last time Cyclops was actively hallucinating, he kicked Master Mold’s ass. FORESHADOWING? (Marvel Comics Presents #17)
Moira, this is not an acceptable way to science. Who do you think you are, Charles Xavier? (Marvel Comics Presents #18)
Okay, but did you consider that she might be like one of those cool lizards who can run on water? (Marvel Comics Presents #18)
Cyclops may be a jerk to adults, but he’s canonically pretty decent with little kids. (Marvel Comics Presents #18)
…well, fuck. (Marvel Comics Presents #18)
…well, FUCK. (Marvel Comics Presents #19)
Seriously, Dr. Mustache Guy, what the hell is wrong with you? (Marvel Comics Presents #19)
“I need helper robots. I KNOW, I’LL BUILD LITTLE NAKED ALIENS. THAT’LL BE COOL.” (Marvel Comics Presents #19)
More servitors, because if I have to see this nonsense, you do, too. (Marvel Comics Presents #20)
Shut up, Conscience. (Marvel Comics Presents #20)
“Look, they forgot I even EXISTED for three issues!” (Marvel Comics Presents #20)
“But, like, not the person. The concept. But not really in this story. Anyway, you get the idea, right? Right?” (Marvel Comics Presents #20)
This plan is terrible. (Marvel Comics Presents #21)
Aw. That’s… sort of nice? In an about-to-explode kind of way. (Marvel Comics Presents #24)
NEXT EPISODE: The Mutant Revolution, Live at Rose City Comic Con!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

163 – Shut Up, Conscience

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Rose City Comic Con was in fact pretty awesome; we return to Marvel Presents; Colossus has a bad day; Ann Nocenti engages in some bipartisan satire; Cyclops has a bad day; Moira MacTaggert gets possessed again; Master Mold is really hard to kill; you should absolutely not send Jay naked leprechaun pictures; sentinels are basically rationalization engines; and that is really not how consciences work.

NOTE: In this episode, we said that the U.S.S.R. dissolved in 1989. That actually happened in 1991.

ADDITIONAL NOTE: THE NYCC PANEL HAS BEEN MOVED. IT IS ON THURSDAY, NOT FRIDAY.

X-PLAINED:

  • Sentinel Aesthetics
  • Prime Sentinels
  • “Colossus: God’s Country”
  • Butt physics
  • The Cold War
  • Colossus’s feelings about porn
  • The Billy Ireland Cartoon Library
  • Some varyingly dubious politics
  • The Cold Warriors
  • Alexander, who is probably not actually either Colonel Sanders or Howard Hughes
  • Bipartisan satire
  • Jay’s grandfather
  • An uncomfortable picnic
  • Limbs
  • Number Six (but not that one)
  • Terrible neighbors
  • “Cyclops: The Retribution Affair”
  • Bobbie and Mary Campbell
  • Master Mold (again)
  • Stephen Lang (again)
  • Servitors
  • A well-honed lobster alert system
  • The Retribution Virus
  • Conscience
  • A terrible party
  • Kitty Pryde’s Gal Pal Squad
  • Community Organizer Magneto

NEXT EPISODE: Live from Rose City Comic Con!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

152 – Ghosts of Future Present

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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

In which Franklin Richards makes everything more complicated; Reed Richards is a terrible parent; Days of Future Present is a surprisingly good ghost story; Valeria Richards is awesome (but does not appear in this crossover); everyone’s got hounds these days; Banshee is your sad cyborg dad; Phoenix has a lot of feelings; and X-Factor once again manages to up the ante for child endangerment.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nightcrawler’s brief clerical career
  • Days of Future Present
  • Annuals, in general
  • Some extraordinarily specific Namor headcanon
  • Fantastic Four Annual #23
  • New Mutants Annual #6
  • X-Factor Annual #5
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #14
  • Franklin Richards
  • Several statuses quo
  • The reproductive potential of Doombots
  • Ms. Marvel (Sharon Ventura)
  • Ahab
  • A Code Red Time Emergency
  • One of Jay’s dream pitches
  • Your sad cyborg dad
  • The worst tea party
  • One hell of a kiss
  • Robocop vs. Terminator

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets eclectic!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Rose City Comic Con was the COOLEST

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Listen to the live episode here!

We are so ridiculously lucky: our hometown con is the coolest. It’s only a few years old, but Rose City Comic Con is one of the most fun, accessible, welcoming, and all-around celebratory comics shows we’ve ever been to. This was our first con as Rachel & Miles X-Plain the X-Men, and our first ever live episode; and we can’t imagine a better place to start.

Click through the gallery below for photos from the con, the panel, and the party! (We’ll toss the sketches up separately tomorrow!)

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/4/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Someone left Rachel alone with the button press.
More con prep.
We have a table! (Also, a lot of people were really irate about the word balloon, SIGH.)
WHOADANG, it’s the brand new zines and con-exclusive t-shirts!
Punk Cyclops was one of our favorite cosplays of the show.
Awesome going as well as coming!
Our friend Sarah–a kickass pro photographer in her own right–was cosplaying as Rule-63 Phil Sheldon of Marvels!
Rachel’s heart 100% belongs to Norita Smoeuk’s 50s Girl-Gang X-Men. These three were part of a whole group cosplaying Norita’s wildly kickass designs.
Even Marvel characters are sufficiently confused by their own continuity to need our help!
Benja Barker of Portland’s Alter Egos Society hooked us up with this incredibly cool X-Men belt buckle, which sneakily velcros around pretty much any belt.
Monsters of Podcasting celebrating at the Kaijucast booth after our Sunday panel. L to R: Rachel and Miles; Zee and Jamie of the British History Podcast; Kyle of Kaijucast (and our producer!).
“Let’s just meet at the panel room,” we told the guests. “There shouldn’t be a line or anything.”
Damn, there were a lot of you. HI, PORTLAND!
Rachel and Miles X-plain Cable and Stryfe in the live episode cold open. (Photo courtesy of Kyle Yount.)
Left to right: Ann Nocenti, Miles Stokes, Rachel Edidin, Jeff Parker, Chris Yost. (Photo courtesy of Kyle Yount.)
Annie and Miles. (Photo courtesy of Sarah Giffrow / Upswept Creative.)
Annie, Miles, Rachel, and Jeff. (Photo courtesy of Sarah Giffrow / Upswept Creative.)
Katie and Kestrel set the question bar AWFULLY high. (Photo courtesy of Sarah Giffrow / Upswept Creative.)
Custom drink menus from The Steep & Thorny Way to Heaven. (The X-Men menu was 21+; New Mutants were all-ages.)
SO. GOOD.
Magneto and friends hang the Days of Future Past wall.
(Magneto also doubled as DJ and bartender. Thank you, Myrrh!)
Live cold-open previews have been a thing since our ECCC meetup. This time, we got some help from Fern. Yes, we have TWO tiny Squirrel-Girl X-perts, and they are both THE BEST. (Photo courtesy of @pawpaw5771)
There are a LOT of variations on this photo, but I think Max and Brandon may have been the first. (Photo courtesy of Brandon Goede.)
White Phoenix has no patience for this post-apocalypse nonsense. (Photo courtesy of Cassandra Carter.)
The word balloons from ECCC were also out in force. (Photo courtesy of Cassandra Carter.)
The British History Podcast wants you to know that your dark future really doesn’t have a damn thing on the past. (Photo courtesy of Jamie and Zee.)
The team-up you weren’t expecting. (Photo courtesy of Christopher Troy.)
We’re gonna go ahead and say that “continuity” is the correct collective noun for Cyclopses. In that spirit: here’s continuity of Cyclopses. (Photo courtesy of Jeff Polier.)
Another homage to the original cover. Dave, on the left, helped build and weather the wall. Katie’s Marvel Girl is updated from the o5 group previously pictured on our blog. (Photo courtesy of the Proctors.)
This Shadowcat is not only an awesomely on-point cosplayer (that Lockheed!) but also one of the coolest teenagers we’ve ever met. (Photo courtesy of Tom Kishel.)
Two very happy, very tired X-Perts. (Photo courtesy of Myrrh Larsen.)
NEXT WEEK: Fallen Angels!

Special thanks to a LOT of people without whom the con and show wouldn’t have been possible:

  • Panel Guests: Ann Nocenti, Jeff Parker, and Chris Yost
  • Earth-811 Craft Department: Dave Proctor and Cameron Harris
  • Everyone from Rose City Comic Con; but particularly Mikey Nielson, Ron Brister, and Paula Brister.
  • Our amazing, amazing, amazing party hosts at The Steep & Thorny Way to Heaven: Megan Skye Hale and Myrrh Larsen
  • Team X-Plain: Tina Abate, David Wynne, and Kyle Yount.
  • The Absolute Goddamn Best: Katie Moody and Anna Sheffey.
  • Last but not least: Max Carleton, Dusty Eppers, Jason Betournay, Scott Hazle, Fern, Kestrel, Jasper, and everyone who turned out to help, yell, party, and X-Plain with us at and after RCCC!

 

76 – Live at Rose City Comic Con, with Ann Nocenti, Jeff Parker, and Chris Yost

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/4/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/4/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which we record our first live episode; Rose City Comic Con is AMAZING; Ann tells us how to torture the X-Men; Jean Grey needs more friends; Chris survives an encounter with an angry vampire; Squirrel Girl sets the high bar for questions; everyone has opinions about Longshot’s hair; Jeff gets meta; Cyclops is the best at fighting Sentinels; and Rachel ALMOST gets through an entire panel without swearing.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Cable (Nathan Summers)
  • Stryfe (Also Nathan Summers)
  • Rose City Comic Con
  • Christopher Yost
  • Jeff Parker
  • Ann Nocenti
  • The X-Men
  • Superheroes vs. soap operas
  • Continuity vs. evolution
  • Updating the Silver Age
  • What defines an X-book
  • All of our iconic X-eras
  • Close encounters of the fan kind
  • The Continuiteens
  • Marvel Girl and Squirrel Girl team-ups
  • Narrative regrets
  • How we’d end the X-Men
  • X-Men best suited to professional wrestling
  • Our personal mutant metaphors
  • Which of the X-Men is best at fighting Sentinels

NEXT WEEK: Fallen Angels!

There’s no visual companion this week, but you can see photos from the panel, party, and more in our Rose City Comic Con roundup!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 70 – Forget It, Jake; It’s X-Factor

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/23/2015 in the shop (also pencils skirts, ‘cause, why the hell not?) or contact David for the original.
SPOILER. (X-Factor #12)
Meanwhile, in a nearby sitcom… (X-Factor #12)
HI, BOOM BOOM! (X-Factor #12)
Seriously, though, THOSE DRAMATIC GESTURES! (X-Factor #12)
FUN FACT: In 1987, a sufficiently high Dig Dug score actually provided legal immunity from a number of petty misdemeanors in the state of New York! (X-Factor #12)
X-Factor: Trained superheroes; still haven’t really gotten the hang of doors. (X-Factor #12)
This will certainly end well. (X-Factor #13)
Oh, hi, that one photo of Jean! It’s been a while! (X-Factor #13)
Aw, these kids. (X-Factor #13)
I can’t figure out what kind of fish this is supposed to be, and it’s really bothering me. (X-Factor #13)
Cameron Hodge: Definitely the worst. (X-Factor #13)
Same story, different door. (X-Factor #13)
LOOK AT THAT AMAZING ZOMBIE ROBOT. LOOK. LOOK. (X-Factor #13)
Seriously, just buy some damn lockpicks already. (X-Factor #13)
Scott Summers’s life: literally an anxiety dream. (X-Factor #13)
Those Walter Simonson layouts, tho. Dang. (X-Factor #14)
Even Rusty and Skids can’t look away from the amazing soap opera. (X-Factor #14)
Aw, man. (X-Factor #14)
Trish, THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE. (X-Factor #14)
“Oh, shit, we totally saved him from an inevitable and painful death! We’re monsters!” (X-Factor #14)
This cover is kind of hilarious. (X-Factor #15)
WHO KEEPS BRINGING HIM NEWSPAPERS? Probably Cameron Hodge. JERK. (X-Factor #15)
“Also, I think I might have a kid? I’m pretty sure there was a plot point about that last issue.” (X-Factor #15)
Caliban tries so hard. (X-Factor #15)
Due to lack of participation in X-Factor’s mandatory program of despair, Iceman has been temporary relocated to another book. (X-Factor #15)
I know this is supposed to be very poignant, but I can’t stop wondering why the hell Angel’s little private plane has fucking MISSILES. (X-Factor #15)
Well, I mean, it’s one way to get to Arizona. (X-Factor #15)
NEXT WEEK: Technoorganic blues!

LINKS, LINKS, LINKS!

  • Did you know there’s a ton of cool stuff to read and see at rachelandmiles.com? Obviously you do, since you’re already here.
  • David Wynne is the rad dude behind the illustrations you see at the top of every episode!
  • We have a Redbubble shop, where you can exchange money for all sorts of snazzy stuff, including a new, limited-run shirt every month…
  • …and if buttons are your bag, you can get those over at Strange Tomorrow!
  • While we’re being mercenary, you might as well go follow us on Twitter and Tumblr.