Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: space adventures

As Mentioned in Episode 365 – A Whole Year of This Nonsense

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It sure is 1996. (X-Force/Cable Annual 1996)
Hi, Pulse! (X-Force/Cable Annual 1996)
I mean, wouldn’t you? (X-Force/Cable Annual 1996)
THAT’S NOT HOW TORSOS WORK. (X-Force/Cable Annual 1996)
Seriously, what is Cyclops attached to? (X-Men Unlimited #13)
Where’s an editorial footnote when you need one? (X-Men Unlimited #13)
The cover of our new metal album! (X-Men Unlimited #13)
No real episode context; I just think this explosion looks really cool. (X-Men Unlimited #13)
How they celebrate in Junction, NY. (X-Men Unlimited #13)
NEXT EPISODE: Beast and/or Karma!

365 – A Whole Year of This Nonsense

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you can now listen to a unique episode of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men every day for a year; Shi’ar tech support leaves something to be desired; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau does not appear in a story; it’s Deathbird, not Dueprocessbird; Zenn-La gets destroyed a lot; and we shall never speak of this incident again.

X-PLAINED:

  • Where babies come from
  • The Shi’ar (again)
  • Cable/X-Force Annual 1996
  • X-Men Unlimited #13
  • Organs
  • Shi’ar ship names
  • Pulse
  • Unconventional use of the Danger Room
  • Butt-first framing
  • Interplanetary extradition
  • The word “contemplative”
  • Binary (again)
  • More Shi’ar ship names
  • Zenn-La
  • Silver Surfer (Norrin Radd)
  • The Inciters
  • A giant metal space skull
  • Junction, NY
  • A metaphor for America
  • Marie Cavendish
  • Mutants with synthetics-based powers
  • Literary intersections

NEXT EPISODE: Beast!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 289 – Unsolved Mysteries

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
A ToS Trek novel, specifically, I think. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
This statue sucks. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
Sinister is a terrible parent. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
Okay, but why are the guys they’re fighting wearing bondage harnesses? (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
We were so baffled by the abs that we did not consider that they had been dressing him in skintight jeans and pirate boots for five years. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
Robbie flippin’ Robertson: a badass in any universe. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
“Is it me, or do these briefings get weirder every time?” (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
It would be more depressing when Sinister told him he was the worse brother, though. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
These assholes work for a genocidal nightmare regime and yet call a graveyard “the ghost lands.” (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
A familiar story, except where it’s not. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
OH, SHIT. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
If you didn’t know Corsair was doomed before, Havok’s last line definitely clinches it. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
There’s probably a Gatecrasher joke to be found somewhere, but honestly, after this week, I’m fresh out. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
Still not the most awkward conversation they’ve had in a comic, for what it’s worth. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)
Yeah, Death, you’re not gonna impress Cyclops with that. He was raised by Sinister; he’s effectively immune to Extra. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)
Sweatertown: Population, Blink. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)
Aw, Ship. =( (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)
He really is. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)
I bet when people tell AoA Nightcrawler “Your Mom” jokes, he just kinda sighs and acknowledges that they’re probably right. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)
BLACKAGAR BOLTAGON YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)
Look, I’m just saying: it’s no telling Dracula to follow his heart. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)
NEXT EPISODE: Astonishing X-Men

LINKS & FURTHER CATASTROPHES:

289 – Unsolved Mysteries

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which this episode is way more topical than it was when we recorded it; Apocalypse makes a terrible Statue of Liberty; there are no reliable narrators; Robbie Robertson and Carmen Sandiego are your new OTP; Emplate is creepy in any universe; lawful evil is still evil; and partial universe reboots come with some fairly silly problems.

X-PLAINED:

  • Awkward intersections of fiction and reality
  • Pandemic (Dr. Richard Palance)
  • Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines
  • Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light
  • Brooding in multiple ways at once.
  • Corsair (Christopher Summers) (Earth-295)
  • Reconciling cross-universe timelines
  • The Shi’ar (Earth-295)
  • Comparative Summers Backstory
  • Robbie Robertson (Earth-295)
  • Northstar and Aurora (Earth-295)
  • Emplate and the Monets (Earth-295)
  • The Bedlam Brothers (Earth-295)
  • Brood problems
  • The most awkward Summers family reunion to date
  • The Absorbing Man (Earth-295)
  • Diablo (Earth-295)
  • Senator Robert Kelly (Earth-295)
  • The fall of the Guthrie family
  • An early era of Magneto’s X-Men
  • A trip to the moon
  • Death (Maximus Boltagon)
  • Whether the Beyonder of Earth-295 knows how to poop
  • Listening to this podcast with kids

NEXT EPISODE: Astonishing X-Men!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 265 – Rude Awakenings

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Is anyone else weirded out by the fact that that’s supposed to be Forge in the lower right-hand corner? (X-Men Annual #5)
The Shi’ar sext WEIRD. (X-Men Annual #5)
Professor X was definitely naked, right? (X-Men Annual #5)
The weirdest thing about this panel is that the tractor beam seems to have shrunk her shirt by about half. (X-Men Annual #5)
Professor X X-Plains human-Shi’ar relations. (X-Men Annual #5)
FASHION! (X-Men Annual #5)
Imagine how confusing it must be to run into Jubilee on alien planets. (X-Men Annual #5)
I DID NOT NOTICE THE HANGING TEDDY BEAR UNTIL I CLIPPED THE PANEL FOR THIS VISUAL COMPANION. (X-Men Annual #5)
He’s a hugger. (X-Men Annual #5)
Be fair, Gambit: there are a LOT of reasons Cyclops is never fun at parties. (X-Men #34)
BUT WHO IS LURKING IN THE FOREGROUND? (X-Men #34)
Sinister, moisturize your damn clones. (X-Men #34)
Oh, hey, Threnody! (X-Men #34)
‘Kay. (X-Men #34)
Ewwwwwwww. (X-Men #34)
Please bear in mind that these are costumes S.H.I.E.L.D. just happened to have lying around the Helicarrier. (X-Men #35)
“Also, do you know how hard it was to dress you in skintight neoprene while you were unconscious?” (X-Men #35)
The end of the world looks pretty rad. (X-Men #35)
Some artists definitely made some choices. (X-Men #35)
That’s our Cyclops. (X-Men #35)
Some of the layouts in this issue are really nice. (X-Men #35)
Sunset Grace X-Plains Sunset Grace (and marries Ronald Reagan). (X-Men #35)
Ouch. (X-Men #35)
NEXT EPISODE: Malice!

FURTHER LISTENING

265 – Rude Awakenings

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Glen Danzig was the most popular Wolverine fancast for a weirdly long time; breasts have physical mass; the Shi’ar empire is not your friend; Deathbird should not be left in charge of anything alive; Jubilee learns about privilege; Sinister is not subtle; plasma is the new magnetism; Scott and Jean return from the future; and Nick Fury probably sews his name into the waistband of all his underpants.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some guy from Earth-1610
  • X-Men: Unlimited #5
  • X-Men #34-35
  • Shi’ar sexting
  • A rude awakening (literal)
  • Rococo Stryfe
  • Some uncomfortable fashion choices
  • X-pajamas
  • Definitely nude Charles Xavier
  • Breasts
  • Shi’ar imperial bullshit
  • A very impressive headdress
  • Reality TV… in space!
  • A rude awakening (metaphorical)
  • Shi’ar childhood
  • Negotiation
  • A total dick move
  • Another total dick move
  • Beast’s brief tenure as field leader of the X-Men
  • The return of Threnody
  • The titles of several sex tapes
  • High-tech spelunking
  • Sinister’s secret DNA library
  • Controversial outfits
  • Nick Fury’s stuff
  • Sunset Grace
  • The racism inherent to Evan Sabahnur’s background
  • A question we’ve answered before and will probably answer again

NEXT EPISODE: Malice!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 133 – Feisty Little Fellow from the Stars

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
YAYBO! We’re launching our brand new TeePublic shop with a brand new design from artist Scott Koblish and designer Dylan Todd!
You’re hearing this in the Strangers’ voices from Dark City, too, right? (X-Factor #48)
I, however, am thoroughly impressed. Look at that snazzy Kirby-designed dude! (X-Factor #48)
Including this panel mostly for ZZ-105’s adorable flailing. (X-Factor #48)
Aw, man, Beast. Never change. I mean, I guess aside from the extended series of self-induced mutations. (X-Factor #48)
Well, that’s awkward on a lot of levels. (X-Factor #48)
Iceman’s core personality traits involve both reluctance to kill and overcompensating like whoa. (X-Factor #49)
“Tell you what–I won’t tell the others about ‘Wugga Wugga Wugga’ if you don’t mention the hat.” (X-Factor #49)
Ship is such a good bro. (X-Factor #49)
SMASH THE STATE! (X-Factor #49)
Look at that creepy little smirk! (X-Factor #50)
It wouldn’t be X-Factor without some good old-fashioned baby theft! (X-Factor #50)
NO SPACE GODS NO SPACE MASTERS (X-Factor #50)
WOW. (X-Factor #50)
“Knowledge–and twenty-seven hours of smooth jazz classics!” (X-Factor #50)
Meanwhile, this nonsense. (X-Factor #50)
NEXT EPISODE: Live from VVCBF. And yes, the guitar gets played.

133 – Feisty Little Fellow from the Stars (Judgment War, Part 2)

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x133

In which the plot thickens; Jay and Miles fix Avatar; Ship is a good bro; you are in space right now; the Beginagains go full This Island Earth; Cyclops weaponizes love; voting is really important; and you’re listening to ten straight hours of soft jazz and subversion on ZZ-105

X-PLAINED:

  • The other Dazzler (Bertram Worthington)
  • Our newest t-shirt
  • X-Factor #48-50
  • A metaphor within a metaphor, in space
  • The first half of Judgment War (briefly) (again)
  • A prisoner exchange
  • Hairstyles of the possessed and famous
  • Proper use of Cable
  • A case for retcons
  • Iceman vs. Archangel
  • A feisty little fellow from the stars
  • The secret origin of Ship
  • The Celestials
  • The core of Iceman’s personality
  • Several kisses
  • Beast and the Rejects
  • Some terrible hats
  • An unfair fight
  • A nefarious plot
  • Contagious heroism
  • Arishem
  • The power of love
  • Why we use the word “queer”
  • Several theoretical and unlikely crossovers

NEXT EPISODE: Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival, with musical guest Scott Koblish!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 128 – A Stupid Way to Die (Judgment War, Part 1)

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Jean, I know busting through walls is an X-Factor thing, but some walls are there for a reason. (X-Factor #43)
The Kirbiest of Kirby designs! (X-Factor #43)
Throwing this one in for scale. Celestials are big. (X-Factor #43)
A Stupid Way to Die: The Scott Summers Story. (X-Factor #43)
Aw, man. Monster babies are the best babies. (X-Factor #44)
Seems like a fair trade. (X-Factor #44)
Damn, but that’s satisfying. Not quite punching-a-pterosaur satisfying, but still not half bad. (X-Factor #45)
Of Jean’s three personalities, Maddy is the only one familiar with how hairbrushes work. (X-Factor #46)
NEXT EPISODE: The Cross-Time Caper begins!

128 – A Stupid Way to Die (Judgment War, Part 1)

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Google Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which X-Factor goes to space; Miles gets judgmental about spelling; Paul Smith returns to an X-title; Celestials are a pain; Judgment War is the Star-Trekkiest story that doesn’t actually involve Star Trek; monster ladies are super important; if you can be a green dude, you should be a green dude; and Cyclops gears up to fight some gods.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to kill a Celestial
  • Judg(e)ment War
  • Drunk Mark Trail
  • X-Factor #43-46
  • Walls you should maybe not bust through even if you’re X-Factor
  • A completely inappropriate show pitch
  • Celestials
  • The true secret purpose of Ship
  • The Chosen
  • The Rejects
  • Dualers
  • Perfect Seera
  • Rask
  • Zarka
  • Monster ladies in cultural context
  • Lev
  • A stupid way to die
  • Jammers
  • Plot-relevant amnesia
  • The Most Perfect
  • ZZ-105
  • Baby theft (more)(again)
  • Ryest
  • The Beginagains
  • Whether and when there’ll be another all-question episode
  • The current status of the Jean Grey school

NEXT EPISODE: The Cross-Time Caper begins!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!