Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 525 – Beyond This Death

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Warren, no. (New X-Men #131)
Aw, buddy. (New X-Men #131)
<3 <3 <3 (New X-Men #131)
And then everyone immediately forgot that. (New X-Men #131)
Seriously, dick move, Emma. (New X-Men #131)
I really love this panel. (New X-Men #131)
Meanwhile in Genosha. (New X-Men #132)
The magnetic ghosts. (New X-Men #132)
Ah, man. (New X-Men #132)
The last words of Magneto, for now. (New X-Men #132)
Oh, for fuck’s sake. (New X-Men #133)
Damnit, Xavier. (New X-Men #133)
I love the idea that the Shi’ar’s collective Earth disguise is a bunch of Amish dudes.
Dust’s first (conscious) appearance. (New X-Men #133)
Jumbo Carnation! (New X-Men #134)
Quentin Quire before shit goes down. (New X-Men #134)
Seriously, Hank, uncool. (New X-Men #134)
Slick is gddamn adorable. (New X-Men #134)
Someday I will knit this sweater vest. (New X-Men #134)
NEXT EPISODE: Someday I will also knit this sweater vest.

LINKS & FURTHER ILLUSIONS:

525 – Beyond This Death

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which Warren Kenneth Worthington III is a terrible teacher; we are all Magneto’s children; Sooraya Qadir deserves a better origin story; teenagers have a lot of feelings; and we meet one of the modern age’s most controversial mutants.

X-PLAINED:

  • The destiny of Quentin Quire
  • New X-Men #131-134
  • An underattended funeral
  • How to fly? Kinda? I guess?
  • A kiss
  • A friendship
  • Another bit of ruby quartz marginalia that will never be mentioned again
  • A somewhat ill-founded psychic metaphor
  • Emma Frost’s Dark Phoenix costume
  • Some kind of weird affair
  • Echoes of 9/11/2001
  • Genosha, a year later
  • Ghosts
  • Polaris’s paternity
  • Shocker (the mutant one)
  • The last words of Genosha
  • Islamophobia post 9/11
  • Sooraya Qadir (Dust)
  • An attempted hijacking and the aftermath thereof
  • Some Shi’ar nonsense
  • X-Corporation Mumbai
  • Jumbo Carnation
  • Telepathy class
  • An artist’s interpretation of the fate of mankind if mutants are not driven out, as predicted by Bolivar Trask
  • Accountability
  • Professor X’s weird little paintings
  • X-adjectives
  • Best and worst X-Men with whom to share a psychic rapport

NEXT EPISODE: Quentin Quire’s teen angst bullshit gets a body count!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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As Mentioned in Episode 483 – Piotr Lovely Locks

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I appreciate that Shadowcat’s new costume involves her perpetually flipping the (very sharp) bird. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
I mean, it could be worse – you could be Colossus. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
[Epic metal begins] (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
Is Nightcrawler trying to distract from his awful new color scheme by diving at the reader crotch-first? (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
A different look than usual, but I’m not mad at it. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
SEEMS FINE. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
Except that one time! And kind of that other time! (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
Chekhov’s removable skeleton. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
I mean, we’re not not going to show the shattered-moon-and-mountain-of-skulls every time it comes up. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
Magik x-plains the miniseries. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
After this, Warren will be required to take a Defensive Swooping class. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
Oof – right in the outfit! (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
(bonk) (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
A warm welcome back to Polaris’s chest-skull! (X-Men: Black Sun #3)
“Listen, it’s not my fault I’ve been a terrible boyfriend to every woman I’ve dated! And it definitely doesn’t imply anything!” (X-Men: Black Sun #3)
“Hey! That’s my favorite nipple you almost cut off!” (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
Dude needs to hydrate. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
We’d normally say not to mess with perfection, but that’s not a bad evolution of the Phoenix costume! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
Now that’s a demon. Well, Ru’tai. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
The origin of Magik’s bare midriff! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
You’re missing a bloodstone and a Banshee! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
Paging Doctor Belmont… (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
Way better than throwing a Poké Ball. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
Hey, now there are SIX bloodstones! At least Belasco’s throne is rad. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
From the Arcane Tome of Evil Fashion. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
BOOM! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
What if Magik was She-Ra? (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
NEXT TIME: Magik gets metal.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

483 – Piotr Lovely Locks

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In which a lot has happened in the Six Month Gap (and we even get to learn about some of it); we’d missed Claremontian narration; Miles has questions about Colossus’s ponytail; the Soulsword is basically a Poké Ball; the Shadow Pope is cooler than the regular Pope; and Magik has a secret.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some big news
  • X-Men: Black Sun #1-5
  • Phoenix and Psylocke’s sorta-power-swap
  • Implied continuity
  • The N’Garai
  • Belasco
  • Limbo
  • Magik (Illyana Rasputin)
  • New costumes
  • Priests vs blood magic
  • An impressively overcomplicated evil plot
  • Chekhov’s skeleton
  • Body swaps and/or possession
  • Thunderbird (Neal Sharra)
  • Pilgrimm and the Ru’tai (again, surprisingly)
  • Astral meetups
  • Confusing bloodstone math
  • A Triple-Tech
  • Magik (Amanda Sefton)
  • Counting X-generations
  • Our favorite X-decades

NEXT EPISODE: More Magik!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 477 – Ages of Apocalypse

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Jean Grey sums up this podcast. (Uncanny X-Men #379)
No smoking in the Skull Cave. (Uncanny X-Men #379)
“Was this outfit a mistake? I’m worried this outfit was a mistake.” (Uncanny X-Men #379)
“This outfit was definitely not a mistake, sugah.” (Uncanny X-Men #379)
To be fair, not her worst costume. (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Remember this for the next four chapters! ‘Cause the writers won’t. (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Don’t bring a sword to a gun- and/or Psimitar-fight. (Cable #77)
We learned that a horse helmet is called a chanfron, sometimes spelled shaffron, and that Magneto’s horse has the greatest one of all time. (Cable #77)
The literal power behind the throne. (Cable #77)
*cries in alternate timeline* (Cable #77)
We never get sick of that coloring technique. (Cable #77)
*record scratch* “You’re probably wondering how I got here…” (Wolverine #148)
“Logan, you know perfectly well that skeletons can’t drink, and even asking me is offensive and hurtful.” (Wolverine #148)
Is this issue good? That’s the wrong question. Is this issue fun? Absolutely. (Wolverine #148)
Nate Grey as Onslaught… Could this get any more 90s? (Wolverine #148)
I mean, might be an upgrade at this point. (See also: One World Under Doom, on sale now.) (Wolverine #148)
One of a very large number of excellent Phoenix costume color combinations. (X-Men Unlimited #26)
What’s Siphon’s deal? No one knows! (X-Men Unlimited #26)
Don’t think of it as losing a costume so much as gaining a robo-pterodactyl. (X-Men Unlimited #26)
Hey, it’s Excalibur! Kinda! (X-Men Unlimited #26)
Know why there isn’t sound in space? Because Banshee lost his voice. (X-Men Unlimited #26)
The one we’ve been waiting for! (Uncanny X-Men #380)
That ol’ Alan Davis alchemy. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
I want to read a whole comic about them! (Uncanny X-Men #380)
Utterly charming. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
The Brotherhood of 2099! Between Magneto and Polaris, we have complete shoulder fur-coverage. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
“Everyone, blast your thing at the thing!” (Uncanny X-Men #380)
Comic book structure as comic book storytelling. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
NEXT TIME: All the mutants lose their powers!

477 – Ages of Apocalypse

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In which reality shatters; Ghost Rider wants friends; Jay’s toddler weighs in on the X-Men; the Phoenix costume is pretty much perfect; Caliban puts all his resources into an epic mount; and the future is so bright you’re gonna need shades.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Triune Understanding
  • Ages of Apocalypse
  • Uncanny X-Men #378
  • Cable #77
  • Wolverine #148
  • X-Men Unlimited #26
  • X-Men #98
  • Earth-23378
  • Things you can leave to people in a will
  • The Silver Age, but different
  • Apocaclops
  • Aliya Dayspring
  • Chronological inconsistencies
  • Earth-2841
  • The Harpy (Betty Ross)
  • A very different Fantastic Four
  • Earth-32000
  • Siphon
  • The moon
  • Zackat (Wolverine) (long story)
  • Erik the Red (more) (again)
  • The Ladies Mastermind
  • Cadre K
  • Earth-32098
  • X-World
  • The prettiest X-Man
  • The moon’s mutant power

NEXT EPISODE: Powerless!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 471 – Eyebrows and Powers (The Twelve, Part One)

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Which of our lucky contestants will make it into… The Twelve? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
The exceptionally ripped man he is today. (Uncanny X-Men #376)
Well, it beats breaking up with a text message… maybe? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
The costume so rad Jubilee would remember it existed and start wearing it on the regular years later when she became a vampire! (Uncanny X-Men #376)
…He says that during sex too, doesn’t he? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
Havok-hat versus fez: fight! (Uncanny X-Men #376)
“Why hello up there, Nate and Little Nate!” (Cable #75)
Angry faces! (Cable #75)
Angry faces, continued! (Cable #75)
Not gonna lie, that’s legitimately badass. (Cable #75)
WHO PUT THAT THERE?! (Cable #75)
En Sabah Snake (Cable #75)
Now kiss! (Cable #75)
Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75)
Black Friday shopping gets worse every year. (X-Men #96)
“…if you know what I mean.” (X-Men #96)
Aww, c’mon, Scott – Fiz is just happy to be here! (X-Men #96)
Say what you will about Apocalypse, but he does design some pretty excellent costumes. (X-Men #96)
I really dig this take on Storm’s cape. (X-Men #96)
Hi Rory! Sorry about your, uh, everything! (X-Men #96)
Dear Alan Davis: please keep drawing Nightcrawler forever. (X-Men #96)
We just love this guy. (X-Men #96)
NEXT TIME: The Twelve continues!

471 – Eyebrows and Powers (The Twelve: Part One)

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Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75)

In which we begin our coverage of The Twelve; Scott and Jean get sucked back in AGAIN; Apocalypse probably doesn’t tip; and we have become awfully fond of Cable.

X-PLAINED:

  • A codename that deviates from common patterns
  • The story so far
  • Uncanny X-Men #376
  • Cable #75
  • X-Men #96
  • Fiz the Skrull (again)
  • The Twelve
  • Foreshadowing, both accurate and otherwise
  • The Living Monolith (more) (again)
  • That one font
  • Time-travel logic
  • Cable vs. eyes
  • Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
  • A trap
  • Why the Twelve are the Twelve
  • The evolution of Cable

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve continues!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 470 – Large Adult Men

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Nipples? Spigots? Weirdly evenly spaced barnacles? You be the judge! (Cable #73)
Neither that font nor that neck is acceptable. (Cable #73)
The fonts in this book are killing me. (Cable #73)
Hug #1. (Cable #73)
Hug #2. (Cable #73)
Perspective? I hardly know ‘er! Wait. Damnit. (Cable #73)
What’s REALLY on the CD? Tell us in the comments! (Cable #73)
Caliban: Tailor of Apocalypse! (Cable #73)
The juxtaposition between the art and text in this pane is extremely funny. (Cable #73)
Quick-change! (Cable #74)
Deathbird, or possibly Warbird now. (Cable #74)
Whoops. (Cable #74)
He looks so over it. (Cable #74)
Ewwwww. (Wolverine #145)
He does look pretty rad, though. (Wolverine #145)
THAT HORSE (Wolverine #145)
Large man being large. (Wolverine #145)
The first time the new claws come out. (Wolverine #145)
NEXT EPISODE: We couldn’t put it off forever.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE

470 – Large Adult Men

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In which Cable may or may not have been a spokesperson for AT&T; it’s impossible to draw a CD dramatically; Wolverine gets his adamantium back; Apocalypse says the thing; and we probably can’t keep putting off The Twelve forever.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to dispose of a corpse
  • Cable #73-74
  • Wolverine #145
  • Cable (more) (again)
  • Poor font choice
  • Sarcophagus nipples
  • Caliban (more) (again)
  • Impromptu tailoring
  • A cliched vignette
  • People talking on couches
  • A compact disc
  • Unpleasant reunions
  • An impressive outfit
  • Prior generations of horsemen of Apocalypse
  • Wolverine (more) (again)
  • How Wolverine ended up a horseman of Apocalypse
  • Apocalypse’s aesthetic
  • Wolverine vs. Hulk (yet again)
  • Which version of Magik was on Krakoa
  • An X-Men pitch in the style of Spidey and his Amazing Friends

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve begins!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!