Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: teenagers

As Mentioned in Episode 526 – Vengeful Mutants on Drugs

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I love these weird kids. (New X-Men #135)
It really is the same outfit with different flourishes. (New X-Men #135)
That One Shirt. (New X-Men #135)
That… is not how campfires work. (New X-Men #135)
It’s a look, alright. (New X-Men #135)
Go, Beak! (New X-Men #136)
WELL, THAT’S NOT MENACING OR ANYTHING (New X-Men #136)
“His Viennese Waltz, for instance, was terribly clumsy.” (New X-Men #137)
These kids in a nutshell. (New X-Men #137)
Why is that thing on your face, Logan? Who did this to you? (New X-Men #137)
See how much better he looks without it? (New X-Men #137)
Ouch. (New X-Men #137)
I wish these gentlemen only the best. (New X-Men #138)
SPOILER: Their kids are gonna be awesome. (New X-Men #138)
Awkward. (New X-Men #138)
NEXT EPISODE: Murder!

LINKS & FURTHER REVOLUTIONS

526 – Vengeful Mutants on Drugs

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which you should use drugs only with caution; a famous shirt makes its debut; Wolverine is the new Mary Worth; and you were never Quentin Quire’s age (unless you were).

X-PLAINED:

  • What Quentin Quire’s been up to since discorporating
  • New X-Men #135-138
  • The Special Class
  • Basilisk
  • Ernst
  • Dummy
  • No Girl
  • Whether the Xavier School should admit human students
  • Quentin’s new look
  • Kick (more) (again)
  • The Omega Gang
  • That one t-shirt
  • How to punch up your Power Point presentation
  • A somewhat fraught camping trip
  • The Special Class vs. U-Men
  • A secret
  • Some kind of weird affair
  • A riot, of sorts
  • Wolverine’s unfortunate soul patch
  • What actually happened to Jumbo Carnation
  • Telepathic deconstruction
  • The Cuckoos vs. Emma Frost
  • A somewhat mysterious secondary mutation
  • Denouement
  • The subsequent evolution of Quentin Quire
  • What’s happening to xplainthexmen.com when the show ends
  • The telepathy-telekinesis overlap

NEXT EPISODE: Murder!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 481 – Chekhov’s Butt-Gun

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In which Adrienne Frost flirts with a corpse. (Generation X #67)
Oh man, Monet’s left sock is going to be all wet and gross for the rest of the morning… (Generation X #67)
I used to love it when the cafeteria served GReeBo C back in high school. (Generation X #67)
I think those bullies were held back a few years… like maybe 30 or so. (Generation X #67)
Just some really fun faces on this page. (Generation X #67)
NO PRETTY BOYS. (Generation X #67)
It’s like a romance comic cover exploded! (Generation X #68)
Hey, that shirt’s just painted on! (Generation X #68)
Teens are the worst, Jubilee. (Generation X #68)
“And I assure you, that’s far from the most dangerous thing in this skirt.” (Generation X #68)
Everyone reacts to bad news in their own way. Penance’s way is to stick a Mjolnir sticker to her face. (Generation X #68)
Well shit. (Generation X #68)
The snowy calm before the fiery storm. (Generation X #69)
“The Leprechauns of Cassidy Keep never gave me this much grief.” (Generation X #69)
What fighting game is this supposed to be?! And don’t say Ninja Boogie! (Generation X #69)
Effortless. (Generation X #69)
What is this, Black Friday? (Generation X #70)
Kid’s got a point, Sean. (Generation X #70)
You really feel the crush of humanity in this issue. (Generation X #70)
Everett Thomas: hero ’til the end. (Generation X #70)
Bye, Adrienne. See ya never. (Generation X #70)
Left-to-right, the answers will be: make bad decisions as part of X-Factor, become a vampire mom, have sex with Angel in the sky above Ma Guthrie, get crucified on the X-Mansion’s lawn, and find out you’re a descendent of Apocalypse. (Generation X #70)
NEXT TIME: X-Force goes Counter-X!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

481 – Chekhov’s Butt-Gun

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In which Adrienne Frost is absolutely terrible (and so was Ronald Reagan); you should not put guns in your butt; Synch deserved better; and Jay and Miles inventory their favorite dangling plot threads of the ‘90s.

X-PLAINED:

  • Several potential origins of Havok’s stupid hat
  • Generation X #67-70
  • Revolution (more) (again)
  • Shockwave (more) (again)
  • Adrienne Frost (more) (again)
  • The New Xavier School and/or Massachusetts Academy (more) (again)
  • Possible necrophilia
  • Dorm life
  • How not to draw clothing
  • Rules of entry to Jubilee’s dorm room
  • The Rich Person Store
  • How to say the word “consigliere”
  • The ‘90s
  • Blackmail
  • Limits of telepathy
  • Arson
  • Ninja Boogie
  • Panic
  • How to keep Synch safe
  • Adultification
  • Failure to keep Synch safe
  • Where to pick up to follow along with us
  • Plot threads we’d like to see picked back up

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force goes Counter-X!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 474 – Giant-Size Special #13 (feat. Anthony Oliveira)

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Listen to the episode here.

Hey, that’s not what Warlock looks like in this series! (Warlock #1)
Jeez, Doug’s coffin needs to put up a NO TRESPASSING sign or something. (Warlock #1)
We had to really try to not just post all of Warlock’s transformations in this visual companion. (Warlock #1)
Meet Hope! No, not that one. The other one. (Warlock #1)
Anime hair, robot dinosaurs, and angst! (Warlock #2)
Classic (x2). (Warlock #2)
Warlock’s health is readable through the length of his cape. (Warlock #2)
Meet the Psi-Cops! (Warlock #3)
Our core cast! (Warlock #4)
Terry Gilliam’s been trying to make this movie for decades. (Warlock #4)
Jack Kirby smiles from the afterlife. (Warlock #4)
We love these kids. Wish they’d stuck around. (Warlock #4)
Mainspring can villain-splain with the best of them. Also… toucan? (Warlock #5)
I mean, to Warlock’s credit, it is pretty cool. (Warlock #5)
Team-up time! (Warlock #6)
“Alas, poor Bastion! I knew him-” SPAKKOW! (Warlock #6)
An oversimplification of the events of this story? Yes. Still hilarious? Also yes. (Warlock #7)
Friendship! (Warlock #7)
Grade A villainy, Mainspring! (Warlock #7)
I WANNA CLIMB IT. (Warlock #8)
“I know writers who use subtext, and they’re all cowards.” (Warlock #8)
If dad bods were evil. (Warlock #8)
/ FIGHT / TRANSFORM / MAGIC / ITEM / (Warlock #9)
“Eel” catch you later, dad! (Warlock #9)
When strength of identity meets strength of robot dinosaur. (Warlock #9)
If most of the cast will never be seen again, that’s not a bad panel to go out on. (Warlock #9)
Avengers Academy: Marvel’s Voices Infinity Comic by Anthony Oliveira!
NEXT TIME: Demon Bear!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

474 – Giant-Size Special #13 (feat. Anthony Oliveira)

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Classic (x2). (Warlock #2)

In which the Warlock ongoing series is fun, and fun is good; people should maybe leave Doug Ramsey’s grave alone; Tony Stark is probably not in touch with the Indigo Girls; the heroes skate awfully close to the “no killing” line; Bastion gets exhumed, rehumed, and re-exhumed; you should really read the Avengers Academy Infinity Comic; and you remain the best listeners of any podcast, ever.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-related characters of Avengers Academy
  • Warlock vol. 5, #1-9
  • Warlock (more) (again)
  • M-Tech
  • Jay’s Bluey Test for all-ages media
  • The visual semiotics of Warlock
  • Project Mainspring
  • Hope (Esperanza Ling)
  • Chi-Chee
  • Psi-cops
  • Gatekeepers
  • Technarchs
  • The transmode virus
  • A fancy hat
  • Many guest stars
  • The Phalanx (more) (again)
  • Psiren
  • Psimon
  • The techno-mechanic virus
  • Complicated feelings
  • Psycho Man (more) (again)
  • Astro-computers
  • Hope’s actual powers
  • Template
  • Magus (more) (again)
  • Avengers Academy Marvel Voices Infinity Comic
  • Why there are so many Canadian comic-book writers
  • Superhero comics vs. religious texts
  • Defining heroism
  • Escapade
  • Captain America of the Railways
  • Bloodline
  • Red Goblin
  • Moon Girl
  • Kid Juggernaut
  • Blackheart
  • Ongoing storytelling
  • Emplate as a queer character
  • Marcus Wetherell
  • What else to read if you love Avengers Academy Marvel Voices Infinity Comic
  • The 11th Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
  • Many people to whom we are profoundly grateful

NEXT EPISODE: The return of the Demon Bear!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 293 – The Monster Under the World

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Almost as cool as the way the backgrounds of the Marvel Universe Series 3 trading cards can be laid out as two giant space-pictures.
Husk, you’ve changed! And Chamber, you… have a face! (Generation Next #1)
Red and yellow outfit, banded metal skin, muscles on muscles, utterly broken by the world… I guess Earth-295 isn’t that different. (Generation Next #1)
We’ve seen Kitty bully younger mutants before… just usually not with as much stabbing. (Generation Next #1)
“I mean, we don’t want them to be inexperienced at dying, do we?” (Generation Next #1)
Know-It-All is pretty sure the depiction of technology in Hackers is way too bland and boring. (Generation Next #1)
Drums. Drums in the deep. (Generation Next #2)
Do minibuses look like that? No. But should they? (Generation Next #2)
This was one of the weirder anti-smoking PSAs of the 90s. (Generation Next #2)
Quietus is troubling. (Generation Next #2)
Paige has a zero-tolerance policy for Monty Python references. (Generation Next #2)
Only Chris Bachalo could make relatively normal people and monsters like that look at home in the same panel. (Generation Next #3)
“Like, the spiritual concept, not like Xi’an from New Muta… You know what, never mind.” (Generation Next #3)
Weirdly, I’ve had this exact same dream. (Generation Next #3)
Meanwhile, everything is terrible. (Generation Next #3)
YIP! (Generation Next #3)
Enclosed V Exposed: Dawn of Panel Layouts (Generation Next #4)
And then Sugar Man ate through his own mangled corpse and burrowed into the next scene. As one does. (Generation Next #4)
noooooo (Generation Next #4)
NOOOOOOOO (Generation Next #4)
Not to downplay the effectiveness of SPLOT SPLANG BONK THOPP, but it’s those irregular, sharp panel borders that really sell the impact. (Generation Next #4)
It all happens so quickly. (Generation Next #4)
And I’ll remember those panels for the rest of my life. (Generation Next #4)
Ever. (Generation Next #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Happy Mother’s Day!

293 – The Monster Under the World

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which not all Mondos are created equal; the kids are only rarely all right; the Age of Apocalypse is not Magneto’s fault; Sugar Man is the stuff of universal nightmares; “cartoonish” is not necessarily a plus; and the Age of Apocalypse is not particularly sustainable.

X-PLAINED:

  • Generation Next #1-4
  • The tradition of YA horror in X-books
  • Bachalo unchained
  • Whose fault the Age of Apocalypse is
  • Adaptive technology vs. Apocalypse
  • Chamber of Earth-295
  • Husk of Earth-295
  • Skin of Earth-295
  • Mondo of Earth-295
  • Vincente Cimetta
  • Know-It-All (Claudia)
  • An abysmal training exercise
  • Colossus of Earth-295
  • Shadowcat of Earth-295
  • Gardner Monroe (Flashback)
  • Quietus
  • Sugar Man
  • The Portland and/or Seattle Core
  • Illyana Rasputin
  • Ace
  • Human collaborators
  • A gratuitous Monty Python reference
  • The difference between mass and volume
  • Number Six
  • The fall of Generation Next
  • Growing up in the Age of Apocalypse
  • Illyana 2.0
  • Subtext vs. queerbaiting

NEXT EPISODE: X-Calibre!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 177 – The Less You Know

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Luckily for Terrence, the actual X-Men were ALSO lurking by the playground! (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
“Look, to be honest, several of us are DEFINITELY not trustworthy.” (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
“Also, would you say that your kidneys are in good condition?” (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
BEAST, NO. (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
Gambit is definitely the Least Safe X-Man. (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)
So, that’s a thing that exists. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
Circle of Death time is the best time! (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
Evolution in action. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
I absolutely do not believe that you did not see anyone unusual at a state fair. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
They’re so bad at not being menacing. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
“He sees you forever and ever, Alan!” (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
This panel is amazing. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
“Let us never speak of today again.” (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
The contents of one of the greatest minds on Earth. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
This is a fundamentally self-defeating activity page, and also a really boring connect-the-dots puzzle. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)
Let’s just assume that it’s a slow news day. (Smokescreen)
Centaur? Immortal Iron Fist? WHY NOT BOTH? (Smokescreen)
Kids can’t resist a plaid vest. (Smokescreen)
“So… what you’re basically saying is that he’s a teenager?” (Smokescreen)
She still gets taken out like a chump, though. (Smokescreen)
“Hey, wanna see some of his shrink’s notes, while we’re grossly violating his privacy?” (Smokescreen)
MARK TRAIL, NO! (Smokescreen)
oh my god look at this asshole (Smokescreen)
“Tell me, Bret, how much do you know about the migratory patterns of mallard ducks?” (Smokescreen)
That is certainly one way to do a thing. (Smokescreen)
NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special!

FURTHER READING:

  • We don’t know for sure that The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas was heavily influenced by Peter Shaffer’s Equus; but we also don’t know that it wasn’t.

177 – The Less You Know

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we discuss several Very Special Issues; the real cautionary tale is not to trust Hank McCoy; horses are vehicles of lies and heartbreak; the X-Men shill for a state fair; whatever you’re doing, Cyclops is here to stop you; smoking is a gateway to some really weird vices; and we want YOU to design the latest X-Men PSA!

X-PLAINED:

  • The alternate-timeline terrible choices of Hank McCoy
  • Our wholly unfounded theories about Spongebob Squarepants
  • Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men
  • VHS tapes
  • Blockbuster KidPrint
  • Mariano Nicieza
  • Some Fundamental Problems With Superhero PSAs
  • A man who may or may not be D-Man
  • Terrence
  • Why Cable should deliver more PSAs
  • Why D.A.R.E. doesn’t work
  • Varying coherent cautionary tales
  • The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas
  • A tragic lack of carnies
  • Danny the centaur and his very intense feelings about horses
  • Several exciting attractions at the State Fair of Texas
  • Big Tex
  • Activities
  • Smokescreen
  • Bret Jackson
  • Some of the lesser-known danger of smoking
  • Whether Danny Rand can turn into a centaur
  • Hanging out and other gateways to delinquency
  • The South Side Social Club
  • Jake
  • Etiquette of following teenagers around
  • A villainous plan so ineffective that it’s actually kind of sad
  • X-Men you should hire for your PSAs
  • Our thoughts on the Disney/Fox merger
  • Where to find Bloodstorm
  • Baby Jumping

NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special!

LISTENER CHALLENGE: Send your X-Men PSAs to [email protected] with the subject PSA by December 27!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)