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As Mentioned in Episode 244 – Terminal Nudity

April 21, 2019 As Mentioned, As Mentioned 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

You can tell he’s evil because he’s the only assassin who… wears black? (Gambit #1)

“And how is your mustache?!” (Gambit #1)

Wolverine is basically the Mary Worth of the X-Men. (Gambit #1)

…Okay, yeah, I get why he’s kind of cool. (Gambit #1)

You can tell the captions are serious business because of the fake torn edges. (Gambit #1)

It seems weird that the first thing he did was throw his coat over her. That’s weird, right? (Gambit #2)

Maybe the accents skip a generation. (Gambit #2)

They have fun. (Gambit #2)

The Tithe Collector knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men! (Gambit #2)

No, seriously, look at this Shadow-looking dude. (Gambit #2)

Fashion! (Gambit #3)

Well played. (Gambit #3)

I just really love that he changes into THIS for infiltration. (Gambit #3)

Candra got over pants centuries ago. (Gambit #3)

It’s cool that she survives and everything; but, ew. (Gambit #4)

Remy “John Constantine” LeBeau. (Gambit #3)

NEXT EPISODE: Rogue’s turn!

LINKS & FURTHER DRAMA:

Jay is writing a thing that may be relevant to your interests in the intersection of Marvel and audio.
We first encountered the T’ieves’ Guild in Episode 194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy.
Go watch Intacto; it’s brilliant.
The Thief of Always is basically Clive Barker in Ray Bradbury drag. It’s not going to blow your mind; but it’s a fun read.
As a gloomy ’90s teen, Jay was of course very into The Crow; which holds up surprisingly well. It can’t rain all the time!

244 – Terminal Nudity

April 21, 2019 podcasts 18 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which X-Men don’t get to take vacations; Jay makes a somewhat belated announcement; sometimes Gambit is legitimately pretty cool; the assassins get a day-glo-up; The Crow holds up surprisingly well; Gambit gets exiled again; and Artie and Leech damn well better get to live happily ever after.

X-PLAINED:

Rogue and Gambit’s honeymoon
A thing that Jay is working on
Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
Bella Donna Boudreaux
Gambit #1-4
The New Orleans trilogy
“X-Ternally Yours”
The tithe collector
Things about which your mama may or may not have warned you
Dramatic captions
Candra
The Thieves’ and Assassins’ Guilds
The pact
Julian Boudreaux (again)
Henri LeBeau and his mustache
Critical nudity
Terminal nudity
Marius Boudreaux
Accent inconsistencies
Draping
Jean Luc LeBeau
Treachery most foul
(Select elements of) Gamit’s origin story
How thieves get kids
Gambit as a romantic hero
Ungrateful children of the Marvel Universe
Petite Chou
Clubbing with Gambit
Subtlety (for some value of the term)
Lifestyles of the rich and immortal
The Church of Lost Thieves
The Elixir of Life
An undersold side effect
A very lucky break
Artie and Leech’s probable adult lives
Villains we’d like to see on the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Rogue!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 66 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 2

July 20, 2015 As Mentioned, As Mentioned 4 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

If this week’s illustration reminds you of last week’s, that’s because they’re two parts of this rad panorama! Again, prints are available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

Mystique, what are you even doing? (X-Factor #9)

This, again. (X-Factor #9)

Passing privilege in action! (X-Factor #9)

That’s actually pretty clever. (X-Factor #9)

MOPPETS. (X-Factor #9)

Meanwhile in Apartment 3G… (X-Factor #10)

WRONG CHOICE, ANGEL. (X-Factor #10)

One horseman down, three to go. (X-Factor #10)

Damn, Jean. (X-Factor #10)

Ouch. (X-Factor #10)

OUCH. (X-Factor #10)

There is never a worst time to be a Power kid than during an X-line crossover. (Power Pack #27)

Everyone hates X-Factor. (Power Pack #27)

It really does kind of cheapen Sabretooth’s menace when a bunch of kids can take him down–even these kids. (Power Pack #27)

COMICS FOR KIDS. (Power Pack #27)

And then everything was sad forever. (Power Pack #27)

BEHOLD THIS MAJESTIC THUNDER GOD AND HIS MAJESTIC BEARD! (The Mighty Thor #373)

No, but seriously, though. (The Mighty Thor #373)

Thor has frog friends. (The Mighty Thor #373)

Have we mentioned that we love Thor? We love Thor. (The Mighty Thor #373)

There’s a reason that Walter Simonson is the gold standard for epic dialogue. (The Mighty Thor #374)

Aw. (The Mighty Thor #374)

There’s a lot of straight-up killing on the hero side of this event. (The Mighty Thor #374)

(X-Men #9, specifically.) (The Mighty Thor #374)

Thor: Definitely the best dude you know. (The Mighty Thor #374)

It’s funny, because miscommunication. (X-Factor #11)

“Run! It’s a crossover issue!” (X-Factor #11)

X-Factor drinking game: Drink every time someone has to explain the relationship between X-Factor and the X-Terminators. (X-Factor #11)

Halfway there, Apocalypse! (X-Factor #11)

Ouch. (X-Factor #11)

On the upside: Boom-Boom! (X-Factor #11)

NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants party like it’s 1299!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Listen to Episode 65–The Mutant Massacre, Part 1–here!
You can find the Mutant Massacre reading order here.
Have you read Walter Simonson’s run of The Mighty Thor yet? You should really go do that. It starts here.

66 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 2

July 20, 2015 podcasts 25 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we wrap up our first official two-parter; Gambit ruins everything; Rachel has a theory about Mister Sinister; Marvel communication technology is behind the times; Trish Tilby is tired of your bullshit; Walter Simonson is the best of the best; X-Factor pulls it together; Power Pack gets uncomfortably dark; Miles has Thor feelings; and even more mutants die.

NOTE: This episode is the second of a two-parter! If you haven’t listened to Episode 65, where we cover the first half of the mutant massacre, you should probably do that before you listen to this one!

X-PLAINED:

Masque
Tentacle disambiguation
More of the Mutant Massacre
A Sinister hypothesis
Several Marauder-related retcons
X-Factor #9-11
Power Pack #27
The Mighty Thor #373-374
Trish Tilby
Artie & Leech
Several awkward reunions
Walter Simonson
The fall of Angel
Apocalypse’s horsemen
Yet another crossover that will probably scar the Power kids for life
Franklin Richards
Thor, Donald Blake, and Sigurd Jarlson
The best issue of any comic, ever.
The Tunnelers
Ongoing repercussions of the Mutant Massacre
Rachel & Miles’s horseman identities
Which X-Men could and should wield Mjolnir

NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants party like it’s 1299!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 65 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 1

July 13, 2015 As Mentioned, As Mentioned 10 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

And so it begins. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Dazzler vs. Dazzler. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

We’d make a joke about taking a drink for every X-Men/X-Factor near miss, but you’d die of alcohol poisoning before the end of the crossover. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Aw, Colossus. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Not sure why Alanis Morisette didn’t bring this up in “Ironic.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Good job Kitty. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Well, damn. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

There’s something really unsettlingly cheery and Silver-Age about this page. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

No idea who the purple individual is, which is a shame, because they seem awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

STORM, NO! DON’T SPLIT THE PARTY! (Uncanny X-Men #211)

Whoa. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

This is the closest they’ll come to an actual conversation until Inferno. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

Whoops. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

So, THAT happened. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

SO, THAT HAPPENED. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

Dani Moonstar’s powers are METAL AS FUCK. (New Mutants #46)

“My powers are limited to the counterculture.” (New Mutants #46)

Powerlessness and the sense of being able to accomplish too little too late are pervasive themes in the Mutant Massacre. (New Mutants #46)

Everything’s sadder when teenagers are reacting to it. (New Mutants #46)

Well, shit. (New Mutants #46)

How have they not learned to listen to Doug by now? He is ALWAYS RIGHT. (New Mutants #46)

Cold, Wolverine. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

In her defense, everything is in fact well and truly fucked. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

And again. See what I meant about the alcohol-poisoning thing? (Uncanny X-Men #212)

You can, however, take a drink when Storm takes off her clothes for no clear reason. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

First mention of the man with the plan! (Uncanny X-Men #212)

Well done, Wolverine! (Uncanny X-Men #212)

I don’t care who you are: Callisto is better at leadership than you. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

It’s cool. It’s just Thor; we’ll be covering that stuff next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

Psylocke’s psychic projection is adorable and also super creepy. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Uncanny X-Men #213)

Betsy Braddock is hardcore. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

Two classic Claremontisms… (Uncanny X-Men #213)

…on a single page. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

Damn, Psylocke. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

How much do we love Psylocke’s totally femme-princess superhero costume? SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

Next Week: The Mutant Massacre, Part 2!

If you want to follow along with the crossover, you can find a guide to the reading order–and how we’re dividing it between episodes–here.

65 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 1

July 13, 2015 podcasts 47 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we hit the first big X-centric crossover; a lot of Morlocks die; X-Factor is a dark farce; Kitty Pryde talks down a mob without using racial slurs; when Doug Ramsey tells you there’s a problem, you listen; and Callisto should be one of the iconic leaders of the Marvel Universe.

X-PLAINED:

Death by intellectual-property dispute
The Mutant Massacre
Mutant Massacres that might have been
Uncanny X-Men #210-213
New Mutants #46
The Marauders
The best way to guarantee the New Mutants’ involvement in a storyline
Limbo fashion
The responsibility of leadership
Wolverine vs. Sabretooth
Psylocke vs. Sabretooth
The evolution of crossovers
Characters we’d like to see more of post-Secret Wars

NEXT WEEK: The Mutant Massacre, Part 2!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

The Mutant Massacre: A How-To Guide

July 8, 2015 Blog Posts 9 comments

…wait, that title doesn’t sound right.

Miles here! Our next two episodes will be about the Mutant Massacre, Marvel’s first-ever X-event. It’s super depressing; huzzah! (Just like a lot of other X-events, come to think of it.)

Anyway! Since the Mutant Massacre involves eleven issues of five and a half different titles and doesn’t have distinct chapter numbers the way later events do, we thought it might be helpful to post a reading order for those following along. For the sake of simplicity, I’ll post the order we decided to use in our upcoming episodes.

(Of note: every single one of these except Power Pack #27 is on Marvel Unlimited right now.)

The Mutant Massacre, X-Men side (Episode 65):

Uncanny X-Men #210
Uncanny X-Men #211
New Mutants #46
Uncanny X-Men #212
Uncanny X-Men #213

The Mutant Massacre, X-Factor side (Episode 66):

X-Factor #9
X-Factor #10
Thor #373
Thor #374
Power Pack #27
X-Factor #11

Daredevil #238 is technically a tie-in too, but it’s a loose enough one that we’ll be skipping it.

For an alternate reading order–including a very handy flow chart–we recommend the Mutant Massacre guide at UncannyXMen.net.

We’ll see you – and a ton of dead Morlocks – soon!

EDITED TO ADD: Andrew Vestal hooked us up with this perversely cheery Official Mutant Massacre Flow Chart that Marvel published in ’86. So, that’s a thing:

As Mentioned in Episode 56 – Death by Crossover

May 10, 2015 As Mentioned, As Mentioned 9 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/17/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

Bobby makes some valid points. (New Mutants #36)

Remember being fourteen? (And also a mutant superhero?) (New Mutants #36)

Damnit, Beyonder. (New Mutants #36)

Hey, look! It’s a literal derailment in the middle of a metaphorical derailment! (New Mutants #36)

Don’t you hate it when your best friend’s soul gets split by a cosmic force and suddenly you’re stuck with her eldritch armor, weapon, and amulet, when all you really wanted was a library book? Yeah, us, too. (New Mutants #36)

Not even being brainwashed and absorbed into a cosmic hive-mind can come between Cannonball and his classic science fiction allusions. (New Mutants #36)

Aw, Illyana. (New Mutants #36)

This cover = Rachel’s definitive Beyonder. (New Mutants #37)

The New Mutants have the best incidental moments by a wide margin. (New Mutants #37)

Seriously: WHO THE HELL IS THAT ABOVE RAHNE? (New Mutants #37)

Relevant metaphor is relevant. (New Mutants #37)

THE BEYONDER IS A DICK. (New Mutants #37)

THAT IS NO EXCUSE. (New Mutants #37)

The Beyonder comes off as a petulant child in a lot of Secret Wars, but in New Mutants, he’s legitimately terrifying. (New Mutants #37)

Headcanon: In Marvel Asgard, there is at least one legit full-length saga about this storyline, focused on Dani. (New Mutants #37)

This cover. This scene. This series. (New Mutants #38)

Of all the scenes in all the issues of New Mutants, NONE has ever stuck with Rachel as hard as this one. (New Mutants #38)

Aw, kids. (New Mutants #38)

YES (New Mutants #38)

Is there a better pep talk than a pep talk from FROG THOR? We think not. (New Mutants #38)

Warlock, you delightful scamp! (New Mutants #38)

Empath is the worst ever forever. (New Mutants #38)

That “Next Issue” blurb, tho. (New Mutants #38)

Another memorable cover. (New Mutants #39)

Aw, man. (New Mutants #39)

Sadneto. (New Mutants #39)

Keith Pollard’s Emma is so good. (New Mutants #39)

It just DOES NOT STOP SUCKING to be Tom and Sharon. (New Mutants #39)

Madneto! (New Mutants #39)

Emma Frost, you sneaky person! (New Mutants #39)

WARLOCK IS THE BLACKBIRD. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID. (New Mutants #40)

Magneto is trying so hard to be the man he promised Xavier he’d be. Poor guy. (New Mutants #40)

Really, Cap? Really? You gonna go there? (New Mutants #40)

Teacher Magneto might be the best Magneto. Definitely one of the most critically unremembered and underused. (New Mutants #40)

Aw, New Mutants. (New Mutants #40)

The perfect Emma Frost moment. (New Mutants #40)

Next Week: Angel in tiny briefs (more) (again), too much Tower, and the dubious debut of Apocalypse!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

Yaybo! Marvel Unlimited added New Mutants #36-40 just in time for this episode (starting here)!
In terms of formative influence, Kyle Baker’s Why I Hate Saturn was basically Rachel’s third parent.

56 – Death by Crossover

May 10, 2015 podcasts 23 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/17/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which nothing comes between Sam Guthrie and his classic sci-fi allusions; Sunspot tries; the Beyonder is really scary; you can have Danielle Moonstar’s agency when you pry it from her cold, dead hands; Empath remains the worst kid; Tom Corsi and Sharon Friedlander just cannot catch a break; Emma Frost gets nuanced; Magneto does the wrong things for the right reasons; Rachel and Miles like liking things; and we finally wrap up Secret Wars II.

X-PLAINED:

Soulsword custody
New Mutants #36-40
The best Secret Wars II tie-in
Several Beyonder-triggered crises of confidence
A literal derailment in the midst of a metaphorical derailment
The Greek tragedy of Illyana Rasputin
Personal personifications of death
Counting coup
The death of the New Mutants
Crossover-related PTSD
A pep talk from a frog
Art style as a component of narrative
The Hellions (again)
Sadneto
Madneto
A completely avoidable fight
Rachel’s definitive Emma Frost moment
Emma Frost, Charles Xavier, and moral culpability

NEXT WEEK: The dubious debut of Apocalypse!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!