Thor – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 298 – Unlikely Avengers

June 21, 2020 Jay Leave a comment

All of our TeePublic profits this month are going to Trans Lifeline! Have you always wanted a mask that says THEY’RE NOT LASERS? Now’s your chance!

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Seriously, can we not? (X-Universe #1)

Don’t worry; they all die in about a page and a half. (X-Universe #1)

“…ladies.” (X-Universe #1)

Blark 4 Lyfe (X-Universe #1)

See what we mean about the Darkseid thing? (X-Universe #1)

Damnit, Matt. (X-Universe #1)

These badasses! (X-Universe #1)

This should really have been the cover to #1. (X-Universe #2)

They’ve got names, and they’re not recognizable characters in a series that’s all about recognizability, so–yep, gonna die. (X-Universe #2)

DAMNIT, Matt. (X-Universe #2)

Clint Barton? James Rhodes? Lester Whatshisname? Who even knows, anymore? (X-Universe #2)

GOOD JOB, VICTOR VON DOOM. (X-Universe #2)

HE COULD STILL BE ALIVE (X-Universe #2)

That’s an awfully fancy red herring, there. (X-Universe #2)

NEXT EPISODE: What didn’t happen!

298 – Unlikely Avengers

June 21, 2020 Jay 10 comments

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In which the moments of X-Universe are better than the whole; the code name “Dirigible” carries some inherent risks; Tony Stark is often more interesting without Iron Man; Clint Barton is no James Rhodes; there is somehow a Matt Murdock who makes even worse choices than the one from Earth-616; nobody should ever trust Mikhail Rasputin; and the baby’s name really doesn’t matter.

X-PLAINED:

J. Jonah Jameson’s stance on mutants
A way to get cool stuff AND support Trans Lifeline
X-Universe #1-2
Gwen Stacy (Earth-295)
Some really obnoxious white savior tropes
The Marauders (Earth-295)
How to waste Arcade
Spider-nostalgia
Owl noises
Tony Stark (Earth-295)
Clint Barton and/or James Rhodes (Earth-295)
Dr. Donald Blake (Earth-616)
Dr. Donald Blake (Earth-295)
Blark
Mikhail Rasputin (Earth-295)
Ship, but not Ship
Ben Grimm (Earth-295)
Sue Storm (Earth-295)
Bruce Banner (Earth-295)
A great many overplayed references
Matt Murdock (Earth-295)
Manuel de la Rocha (Earth-295)
Victor Von Doom (Earth-295)
Marte and Rafe McGuffin
The Upscale Program
A very hazardous plan
The Stryfe Force
The dreams of Donald Blake
A red herring named Frankie
Augmented humans in a mutant-centric world
How Wolverine communicates with animals
How Professor X lost his hair

NEXT EPISODE: What-ifs and might-have-beens!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This June, we’ll be donating all of the profits to Trans Lifeline!

As Mentioned in Episode 277 – Hedgehogs of Cairo

December 15, 2019 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Sauron has hella abs… (X-Men Unlimited #6)

…and apparently a come-hither gaze? (X-Men Unlimited #6)

Sauron’s backstory is a wild ride even by Silver Age standards. (X-Men Unlimited #6)

“Also, I get three mana of any color.” (X-Men Unlimited #6)

That’s our Sauron! (X-Men Unlimited #6)

Karl Lykos is a cheerful guy. (X-Men Unlimited #6)

They say it’s the smell, but I bet the other pterosaurs are actually judging him for his jorts. (X-Men Unlimited #6)

Meanwhile in Cairo… (X-Men Unlimited #7)

It really doesn’t seem like Candra should be able to bend her arms and legs. (X-Men Unlimited #7)

Truly, a fancy beard. (X-Men Unlimited #7)

Urchins: 1, Gambit: 0. (X-Men Unlimited #7)

Later, this kid will be retconned to have been imaginary. Don’t think too hard about it. (X-Men Unlimited #7)

STEALTH! (X-Men Unlimited #7)

X-Men vs. Urchins. (X-Men Unlimited #7)

Seriously, Candra, Storm will stab you in a sewer and not even care. (X-Men Unlimited #7)

NEXT EPISODE: Sex?

LINKS & FURTHER DINOSAURS

Jay co-wrote a serial Thor novel! You can subscribe to it–and hear and read the first chapter–here, if you are so inclined.
(If Jay got to pick a theme song for said novel, it would be the extremely kickass Faster, Pussycat cover of “You’re So Vain.”)

As Mentioned in Episode 275 – End of the Summer

December 1, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

HI, PROSH. (X-Force #39)

Look at this charming weirdo. (X-Force #39)

You see what I mean about the frolicking? (X-Force #39)

Damn skippy! (X-Force #39)

Well, that can’t be good. (X-Force #39)

I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (X-Force #39)

This whole issue has a very Looney Toons vibe. (X-Factor #107)

It’s good that they can find common ground. (X-Factor #107)

Gravity: she’s a harsh mistress. (X-Factor #107)

Again: I really love the way the art here leans into Strong Guy’s inherent cartoonishness. (X-Factor #107)

Ouch. (X-Factor #107)

That cover! (Uncanny X-Men #318)

The choker really does seem to have an extra layer of symbolism, especially considering the color vs. the rest of her outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #318)

You tried, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #318)

Serious X-Terminators vibes, right? (Uncanny X-Men #318)

“But, y’know, good luck with that.” (Uncanny X-Men #318)

She’s not wrong, Warren. (Uncanny X-Men #318)

…it works, though. (Uncanny X-Men #318)

NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy!

LINKS & FURTHER CRYPTIDS:

Jay co-wrote a Thor novel! You can pre-order it here, if you are so inclined.
For more on Fred Dukes and confronting and subverting the fatphobic tropes around his characterization, listen to Episode 240 – Live at ECCC, feat. Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, & Leah Williams!
“End of the Summer” is a really good song.

As Mentioned in Episode 273 – The Back-End Creep

November 17, 2019 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Ouch. (Wolverine #85)

Do you think Cable got there early and then waited for someone to say his name so he could make a dramatic entrance? (Wolverine #85)

here is your large adult son (Wolverine #85)

Aw, man, right in the feels. (Wolverine #85)

And again. (Wolverine #85)

I like this cover more than it probably deserves. (Cable #16)

Lang’s tiny panties might be the weirdest thing about the whole Phalanx situation. (Cable #16)

Well, that happened. (Cable #16)

Cable vs. Derrida. (Cable #16)

He really never learns. (Cable #16)

It’s cute how anyone ever thinks Cameron Hodge is going to accept defeat with grace. (Cable #16)

GET IT? ‘CAUSE HE’S POINTY! (Cable #16)

NEXT EPISODE: Talking House of X and Powers of X with Chris Eddleman!

LINKS & FURTHER CATASTROPHES:

WHOA DANG WE’VE BEEN ON A LOT OF PODCASTS LATELY!
- Miles joined Titan Up the Defense for Tales of the Haunted Disco Barn…
- …and got his Dracula on in Exiled’s Assault on Camelot Eternal!
- Meanwhile, Jay joined the Fantasticast for a look at Karma’s debut!
Did you know that Jay co-wrote a Thor novel? Because that happened. (Lila Cheney is in it, so you know it’s gonna be cool.)

As Mentioned in Episode 244 – Terminal Nudity

April 21, 2019 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

You can tell he’s evil because he’s the only assassin who… wears black? (Gambit #1)

“And how is your mustache?!” (Gambit #1)

Wolverine is basically the Mary Worth of the X-Men. (Gambit #1)

…Okay, yeah, I get why he’s kind of cool. (Gambit #1)

You can tell the captions are serious business because of the fake torn edges. (Gambit #1)

It seems weird that the first thing he did was throw his coat over her. That’s weird, right? (Gambit #2)

Maybe the accents skip a generation. (Gambit #2)

They have fun. (Gambit #2)

The Tithe Collector knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men! (Gambit #2)

No, seriously, look at this Shadow-looking dude. (Gambit #2)

Fashion! (Gambit #3)

Well played. (Gambit #3)

I just really love that he changes into THIS for infiltration. (Gambit #3)

Candra got over pants centuries ago. (Gambit #3)

It’s cool that she survives and everything; but, ew. (Gambit #4)

Remy “John Constantine” LeBeau. (Gambit #3)

NEXT EPISODE: Rogue’s turn!

LINKS & FURTHER DRAMA:

Jay is writing a thing that may be relevant to your interests in the intersection of Marvel and audio.
We first encountered the T’ieves’ Guild in Episode 194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy.
Go watch Intacto; it’s brilliant.
The Thief of Always is basically Clive Barker in Ray Bradbury drag. It’s not going to blow your mind; but it’s a fun read.
As a gloomy ’90s teen, Jay was of course very into The Crow; which holds up surprisingly well. It can’t rain all the time!

244 – Terminal Nudity

April 21, 2019 Jay 18 comments

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In which X-Men don’t get to take vacations; Jay makes a somewhat belated announcement; sometimes Gambit is legitimately pretty cool; the assassins get a day-glo-up; The Crow holds up surprisingly well; Gambit gets exiled again; and Artie and Leech damn well better get to live happily ever after.

X-PLAINED:

Rogue and Gambit’s honeymoon
A thing that Jay is working on
Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
Bella Donna Boudreaux
Gambit #1-4
The New Orleans trilogy
“X-Ternally Yours”
The tithe collector
Things about which your mama may or may not have warned you
Dramatic captions
Candra
The Thieves’ and Assassins’ Guilds
The pact
Julian Boudreaux (again)
Henri LeBeau and his mustache
Critical nudity
Terminal nudity
Marius Boudreaux
Accent inconsistencies
Draping
Jean Luc LeBeau
Treachery most foul
(Select elements of) Gamit’s origin story
How thieves get kids
Gambit as a romantic hero
Ungrateful children of the Marvel Universe
Petite Chou
Clubbing with Gambit
Subtlety (for some value of the term)
Lifestyles of the rich and immortal
The Church of Lost Thieves
The Elixir of Life
An undersold side effect
A very lucky break
Artie and Leech’s probable adult lives
Villains we’d like to see on the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Rogue!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 66 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 2

July 20, 2015 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

If this week’s illustration reminds you of last week’s, that’s because they’re two parts of this rad panorama! Again, prints are available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

Mystique, what are you even doing? (X-Factor #9)

This, again. (X-Factor #9)

Passing privilege in action! (X-Factor #9)

That’s actually pretty clever. (X-Factor #9)

MOPPETS. (X-Factor #9)

Meanwhile in Apartment 3G… (X-Factor #10)

WRONG CHOICE, ANGEL. (X-Factor #10)

One horseman down, three to go. (X-Factor #10)

Damn, Jean. (X-Factor #10)

Ouch. (X-Factor #10)

OUCH. (X-Factor #10)

There is never a worst time to be a Power kid than during an X-line crossover. (Power Pack #27)

Everyone hates X-Factor. (Power Pack #27)

It really does kind of cheapen Sabretooth’s menace when a bunch of kids can take him down–even these kids. (Power Pack #27)

COMICS FOR KIDS. (Power Pack #27)

And then everything was sad forever. (Power Pack #27)

BEHOLD THIS MAJESTIC THUNDER GOD AND HIS MAJESTIC BEARD! (The Mighty Thor #373)

No, but seriously, though. (The Mighty Thor #373)

Thor has frog friends. (The Mighty Thor #373)

Have we mentioned that we love Thor? We love Thor. (The Mighty Thor #373)

There’s a reason that Walter Simonson is the gold standard for epic dialogue. (The Mighty Thor #374)

Aw. (The Mighty Thor #374)

There’s a lot of straight-up killing on the hero side of this event. (The Mighty Thor #374)

(X-Men #9, specifically.) (The Mighty Thor #374)

Thor: Definitely the best dude you know. (The Mighty Thor #374)

It’s funny, because miscommunication. (X-Factor #11)

“Run! It’s a crossover issue!” (X-Factor #11)

X-Factor drinking game: Drink every time someone has to explain the relationship between X-Factor and the X-Terminators. (X-Factor #11)

Halfway there, Apocalypse! (X-Factor #11)

Ouch. (X-Factor #11)

On the upside: Boom-Boom! (X-Factor #11)

NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants party like it’s 1299!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Listen to Episode 65–The Mutant Massacre, Part 1–here!
You can find the Mutant Massacre reading order here.
Have you read Walter Simonson’s run of The Mighty Thor yet? You should really go do that. It starts here.

66 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 2

July 20, 2015 Jay 25 comments

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In which we wrap up our first official two-parter; Gambit ruins everything; Rachel has a theory about Mister Sinister; Marvel communication technology is behind the times; Trish Tilby is tired of your bullshit; Walter Simonson is the best of the best; X-Factor pulls it together; Power Pack gets uncomfortably dark; Miles has Thor feelings; and even more mutants die.

NOTE: This episode is the second of a two-parter! If you haven’t listened to Episode 65, where we cover the first half of the mutant massacre, you should probably do that before you listen to this one!

X-PLAINED:

Masque
Tentacle disambiguation
More of the Mutant Massacre
A Sinister hypothesis
Several Marauder-related retcons
X-Factor #9-11
Power Pack #27
The Mighty Thor #373-374
Trish Tilby
Artie & Leech
Several awkward reunions
Walter Simonson
The fall of Angel
Apocalypse’s horsemen
Yet another crossover that will probably scar the Power kids for life
Franklin Richards
Thor, Donald Blake, and Sigurd Jarlson
The best issue of any comic, ever.
The Tunnelers
Ongoing repercussions of the Mutant Massacre
Rachel & Miles’s horseman identities
Which X-Men could and should wield Mjolnir

NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants party like it’s 1299!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 65 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 1

July 13, 2015 Jay 10 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

And so it begins. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Dazzler vs. Dazzler. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

We’d make a joke about taking a drink for every X-Men/X-Factor near miss, but you’d die of alcohol poisoning before the end of the crossover. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Aw, Colossus. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Not sure why Alanis Morisette didn’t bring this up in “Ironic.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Good job Kitty. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Well, damn. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

There’s something really unsettlingly cheery and Silver-Age about this page. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

No idea who the purple individual is, which is a shame, because they seem awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

STORM, NO! DON’T SPLIT THE PARTY! (Uncanny X-Men #211)

Whoa. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

This is the closest they’ll come to an actual conversation until Inferno. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

Whoops. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

So, THAT happened. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

SO, THAT HAPPENED. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

Dani Moonstar’s powers are METAL AS FUCK. (New Mutants #46)

“My powers are limited to the counterculture.” (New Mutants #46)

Powerlessness and the sense of being able to accomplish too little too late are pervasive themes in the Mutant Massacre. (New Mutants #46)

Everything’s sadder when teenagers are reacting to it. (New Mutants #46)

Well, shit. (New Mutants #46)

How have they not learned to listen to Doug by now? He is ALWAYS RIGHT. (New Mutants #46)

Cold, Wolverine. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

In her defense, everything is in fact well and truly fucked. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

And again. See what I meant about the alcohol-poisoning thing? (Uncanny X-Men #212)

You can, however, take a drink when Storm takes off her clothes for no clear reason. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

First mention of the man with the plan! (Uncanny X-Men #212)

Well done, Wolverine! (Uncanny X-Men #212)

I don’t care who you are: Callisto is better at leadership than you. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

It’s cool. It’s just Thor; we’ll be covering that stuff next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

Psylocke’s psychic projection is adorable and also super creepy. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Uncanny X-Men #213)

Betsy Braddock is hardcore. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

Two classic Claremontisms… (Uncanny X-Men #213)

…on a single page. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

Damn, Psylocke. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

How much do we love Psylocke’s totally femme-princess superhero costume? SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

Next Week: The Mutant Massacre, Part 2!

If you want to follow along with the crossover, you can find a guide to the reading order–and how we’re dividing it between episodes–here.

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