Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Uncanny X-Men

321 – Revolving Doors

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Sabretooth does not get effectively rehabilitated; nobody has the moral high ground; Val Cooper is the worst possible person to call in any emergency; Bishop needs a better support system; Jay knows several things about onions; and not everything has to be a mammal.

X-PLAINED:

  • Sabretooth (more) (again)
  • X-Force #48
  • Uncanny X-Men #328
  • Sabretooth Special #1
  • Bunny slippers
  • An intervention
  • Stages of grief
  • What not to do with Sabretooth
  • An evil squirrel
  • Onions
  • The three genders
  • Mutant Massacre callbacks
  • Caption disambiguation problems
  • The overabundance of boobs on fictional non-mammalian species

NEXT EPISODE: INTO THE CLONE ZONE!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 317 – Acquaintances of Humanity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Oh, c’mon, you did NOT need a double gatefold for that. (X-Men #45)
OW.
(Not a metaphor.) (X-Men #45)
Included to showcase some really damn good use of balloon and caption placement. (X-Men #45)
Aw, Rogue. (X-Men #45)
Damn, that’s good composition. (X-Men #45)
Just here to rub salt in the wound by out-glamming you. (X-Men #45)
It’s true: there’s something extra sad about brooding in shorts. (Uncanny X-Men #326)
IT SURE IS 1995 IN HERE. (Uncanny X-Men #326)
Seriously, Boomer, don’t be friends with Sabretooth. (Uncanny X-Men #326)
To those of you who get reaction images from these: You’re welcome. (Uncanny X-Men #326)
Gambit clearly subscribes to the Rory Campbell school of rehabilitation. (Uncanny X-Men #326)
Well, WE certainly recognize it! (Uncanny X-Men #326)
Now, that’s a wraparound cover! (X-Men Annual 1995)
Somebody’s been reading Age of Apocalypse. (X-Men Annual 1995)
“They’re never sure how many of them they are, and the uncertainty is difficult to live with.” (X-Men Annual 1995)
These three look like time travelers dressed in what each is certain everyone was wearing in 1995. (X-Men Annual 1995)
At least they’re stylish? I guess? (X-Men Annual 1995)
“I see hair more glam than any in this universe.” (X-Men Annual 1995)
“Several, at this point.” (X-Men Annual 1995)
Well, kinda. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Also, they all, um, teleported away. To a farm. Where they can run and play with the other villains. (X-Men Annual 1995)
NEXT: Leprechauns, obviously.

317 – Acquaintances of Humanity

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In which Nicholas Cage is more of a concept than a human being; Rogue’s angst-fueled road trip continues; Gambit and Sinister have complementary aesthetics; there are a lot of Guthries; the Trasks are never up to any good; and whether or not it is canon, Ghost Rider has definitely teamed up with Johnny Cash.

X-PLAINED:

  • Ghost Rider (film)
  • Nicholas Cage
  • Rogue and Gambit
  • X-Men #45
  • Uncanny X-Men #326
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual 1995
  • A gratuitous gatefold
  • Alliteration vs. consonance
  • Osmium
  • Fancy captions
  • Aesthetics
  • Shorts
  • Gambit vs. Sabretooth
  • Questionable medical policy
  • AIDS and the Legacy Virus, revisited
  • Humanity’s Last Stand
  • Guthries
  • Preacher
  • The evolution of killer robots
  • Superhero-musician team-ups
  • Otherworld vs. the M’Kraan crystal

NEXT EPISODE: THE LEPRECHAUNS RETURN

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 311 – Love Makes a Super Team

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This friendship really never gets old. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Freakin’ Genesis, man. (X-Men Annual 1995)
The Nasty Boys, they are not. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Nathaniel Essex: The Hollywood Dracula Years. (X-Men Annual 1995)
The ladies love the cape. (X-Men Annual 1995)
In all fairness, I’m not sure I’d want to be naked in Teen Hank and Bobby’s makeouts cabin without cleaning first, either. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Meanwhile in the UK, a dramatic man and his dramatic ponytail! (X-Men Annual 1995)
I still think the photos were a bit much. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Anniversary or no, this image does not justify a double gatefold. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Jean Grey: thirsty on main. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Me, too, Monet. Me, too/ (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Damn, Piotr. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
“Non, mon ami, I do not have Prince Albert in a can.” (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Marrow may be bloodthirsty, but she’s also inclusive! (Uncanny X-Men #325)
What. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Ew. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
This is why we can’t have nice things and/or organs. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
NEXT EPISODE: The Nobody People, with author Bob Proehl!

311 – Love Makes a Super-Team

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we decide to stop recognizing the nominal difference between X-Men and Uncanny X-Men; time travel may or may not wait for you; Mister Sinister has probably appeared in at least one Ed Wood film; we are a pro-Tingle podcast; X-Men is about family; the Braddock twins catch up; Sailor Moon > Shinobi Shaw; Generation X is inducted into the baseball tradition; and Storm does what she does with Morlocks in sewers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Franklin Richards’ impressive lineage
  • 311
  • Yet another structure for annuals
  • X-Men Annual 1995
  • Uncanny X-Men #325
  • Serious academic discussions
  • Faye Livingstone
  • Mister Sinister’s Hollywood adventures
  • Tyler Dayspring / Tolliver / Genesis (again)
  • Teenage optimism
  • An absolutely nonsensical villainous plot
  • A Hank McCoy that might have been
  • Friendship
  • Fraternal correspondence
  • Romance
  • Morlocks
  • The first time Storm stabbed a Morlock leader in the heart
  • Gene Nation
  • A really excessive cover
  • An intergenerational baseball game
  • Another fairly nonsensical villainous plot
  • The second time Storm stabbed a Morlock leader in the heart
  • X-horror
  • Other media X-fans may enjoy reading, playing, or watching

NEXT EPISODE: Bob Proehl X-Plains the Resonant Duology!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 306 – Between Here and There

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Kids, send in your answers for a prize! (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Pink was IN for pretty much all projectiles in 1995. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Jeez, Warren, get over it. Everyone has to wear a mask these days. It’s not that hard. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Now I want to see what Bishop would think of Mandy. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
I really like Jean’s family. Shame what Claremont did to them in 2006. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Getting punched by the Juggernaut is a way quicker method of depilation than waxing or electrolysis. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Uncanny X-Men #12-13 could’ve been cut down to about a page and a half if Psylocke had been around. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Sigh. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
This page was very important to young Miles. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
Okay, who spiked the Danger Room? (Uncanny X-Men #323)
X-Force’s former leader, folks. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
Low blow, Trish. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
On one hand, Iceman is a loyal and caring friend. On the other hand, he calls himself The Bobster. It kind of evens out. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
Logan, this is how we got banned from Denny’s, remember? (Uncanny X-Men #323)
The Container Crew. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
DC’s Azrael only wishes he could look this cool. (Uncanny X-Men #324)
Look at my teeth! LOOK AT THEM! (Uncanny X-Men #324)
Would’ve been funnier if it was a vampire bar. (Uncanny X-Men #324)
You said it, Logan. (Uncanny X-Men #324)
1.5 stars in Yelp’s morgue section (Uncanny X-Men #324)
This Fall on CBS! (Uncanny X-Men #324)
Letting Bobby’s call go to voicemail? Jeez, this is almost as bad as that time she blew up a pony! (Uncanny X-Men #324)
NEXT TIME: Hey, it’s these kids!


LINKS & FURTHER ATROCITIES:

306 – Between Here and There

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we continue our ongoing tour of the post-Age of Apocalypse X-Universe; Onslaught gets a name; nobody’s sure what Noah Dubois is doing there; Iceman gets to be the practical one, for once; T&A should not generally appear on the same visual plane; someone needs to talk to Cannonball about kink safety; and Emma Frost lets a call go to voicemail.

X-PLAINED:

  • Tarzan fandom
  • X-Man, summarized
  • Uncanny X-Men #322-324
  • Color as a narrative tool
  • The evolution of Storm’s shower etiquette
  • How not to relax with Lucas Bishop
  • Seat-of-the-pants plotting
  • Parenting
  • Noah Dubois, sort of
  • A road trip
  • Sexiness vs. sexualization
  • Emma Frost as Caprica Six
  • How not to walk a supervillain
  • Cannonball’s uniform
  • Sack
  • Vessel
  • Greycrow (more) (again)
  • The worst morgue and/or disco ever
  • Edna and Norton McCoy
  • Times Rogue has absorbed Colossus’s powers
  • X-Men: Marvels Snapshot

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 285 – Immediately if Not Sooner

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Wait, what if Bobby just misuses slang all the time to mess with Bishop? (Uncanny X-Men #320)
What the hell, Legion? (Uncanny X-Men #320)
So, that happened. (Uncanny X-Men #320)
Have fairly normal toes ever seemed as creepy as they do on this cover? I would argue that they have not. (X-Men #40)
If this were fanfic they would immediately have to fake being married to, I dunno, something. (X-Men #40)
Seriously, did ANY readers who didn’t already know recognize this dude as Legion? (X-Men #40)
That shadow! THAT ANGST! (X-Men #40)
“I had always hoped I might find others like us, but I never imagined the continuity would be this impenetrable!” (X-Men #40)
Meanwhile in a sitcom… (X-Men #40)
Tower of Telepaths never really caught on as a board game. (Uncanny X-Men #321)
Just kiss already. (Uncanny X-Men #321)
Greatest caption, or GREATEST CAPTION? (Uncanny X-Men #321)
Wait, has Bishop DISGUISED HIMSELF AS A PIRATE? If the answer is no, I don’t want to know; let me keep this dream. (Uncanny X-Men #321)
JUST KISS ALREADY (Uncanny X-Men #321)
Oh, no. (Uncanny X-Men #321)
Legion, NO. (Uncanny X-Men #321)
You’ve made it to Bishop’s ill-fitting trousers, Cable: just where you needed to be. (Uncanny X-Men #321)
“I knew that someday our future son would travel back in time to kill my best friend.” (X-Men #41)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (X-Men #41)
Ouch. (X-Men #41)
Jubilee gives good advice. (X-Men #41)
The best kiss in X-Men. (X-Men #41)
Okay, but, that first panel. (X-Men #41)
NEXT EPISODE: The end of the world, more, again.

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

 

 

 

285 – Immediately if Not Sooner

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Goldballs is still a better name than Egg; we continue our progress towards Earth-295; Legion pulls a Stryfe; we’re still pretty shaky on how to pronounce “M’Kraan”; Xavier and Magneto were absolutely and unquestionably doing sex in the 1970s; it’s time time; the Watcher is watching you masturbate; and what happens immediately before the end of the world is often as important as what happens immediately after.

X-PLAINED:

  • Balls
  • Legion (more) (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men 320-321
  • X-Men #40
  • Establishing stakes
  • Slang of the mid-1990s
  • Time travel as a dick move
  • Issues vs. episodes
  • The M’Kraan Crystal (more) (again)
  • Hebrew vowels
  • Latent time travel abilities
  • Charles Xavier’s “first” bar fight
  • An exceptional caption
  • A very bad narrative choice
  • The death of Charles Francis Xavier
  • A load-bearing moment in time
  • Jahf the Guardian
  • Waiting for the end of the world
  • The best-drawn kiss in X-Men, ever
  • The many Krakoas
  • Integrating Legion into Dawn of X

NEXT EPISODE: More Legion Quest!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 282 – The Tide Takes the Castle

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Hank McCoy is his own worst enemy–and best audience! (X-Men #38)
Bobby Drake somehow experienced the ’90s harder than most of his peers. (X-Men #38)
She’s not wrong. (X-Men #38)
“I, um, think I might have left something in Alaska. Bye.” (X-Men #38)
Every day, Bishop gets a little less enchanted with his heroes. (X-Men #38)
Aw, these two and their friendship. (X-Men #38)
[SOBS IN CALLBACK] (Iceman #3)
Has anyone ever stopped to notice the fact that Bobby Drake is a fucking spectacular sculptor? Seriously, he should be doing THAT professionally. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
William Drake: a jerk then, a jerk now. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
There is no rage like the rage of a man quietly spooning mashed potatoes onto plates. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
HE’S SO AWFUL. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Aw, these kids. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Meanwhile, in Hawk Talk! (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Planes are a Summers family tradition; as, apparently, is crashing them. (X-Men #39)
He’s a good kid. (X-Men #39)
A good kid with a good cap. (X-Men #39)
Weirdly, the heart just sort of hovers around outside the boathouse, and nobody can figure out how to make it go away. (X-Men #39)
See what we mean about the difference the right artist makes to Adam X (X-Men #39)
Man, I just want Philip and Deborah to adopt him and basically be the Kents. (X-Men #39)
Y’know what? Sure. Why not? (X-Men #39)
He came back! (X-Men #39)
HE’S SUCH A GOOD KID. (X-Men #39)
NEXT EPISODE: Still not technically Legion Quest!

LINKS & FURTHER DELIGHTS:

  • When not making our endless nonsense sound good, producer Matt Hunter makes really excellent music, and you should go listen to some!
  • Jay does not actually write things on hackertyper.com, but he wishes he could.
  • We covered Rogue’s solo series in Episode 245 – Natural Causes.
  • This is the plane Philip flew in WWII, if that’s your kind of thing.