Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Valerie Cooper

As Mentioned in Episode 145 – Remy & ‘Ro

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at RedBubble, or contact David to purchase the original!
This will be important later. Much later. (Uncanny X-Men #265)
“If only there were some sort of… dangerous… room in which to train! (Uncanny X-Men #265)
Man, dig that body language. Lots of folks forget that the Orphan-Maker is a kid – not Bill Jaaska. (Uncanny X-Men #265)
The Shadow King is the worst, but his Jacob Reisz incarnation is extra-the-worst. (Uncanny X-Men #265)
“Dad, you grew a beard! Mom, you grew a OH DEAR GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT” (Uncanny X-Men #265)
When life gives you amnesia-lemons, make thievery-lemonade! (Uncanny X-Men #265)
Seriously: Extra The Worst. (Uncanny X-Men #265)
Storm commands the lightning and the storm and the wet towel right in your face! (Uncanny X-Men #266)
It’s kind of arbitrary that the Shadow King and Storm are nemeses, but damn if it doesn’t completely work. (Uncanny X-Men #266)
Hey, it’s Gambit’s first full panel! “Who is that mysterious and surprisingly colorful man?” (Uncanny X-Men #266)
Gambit’s powers used to work a little differently. Well, for one issue, anyway – the whole eyes-and-spikes thing will be mostly gone by next time. (Uncanny X-Men #266)
This, for the record, is the speech that Evil Lian Shen sees as being full of innuendo. (Uncanny X-Men #266)
I knew you’d been together for a long time, Mystique and Destiny, but I didn’t know that you were SUPER HOT. (Uncanny X-Men #266)
Any scene involving Mystique: exactly as it seems, of course. (Uncanny X-Men #266)
Suddenly, Jim Lee! (Uncanny X-Men #267)
Gambit’s too good for panel borders. (Uncanny X-Men #267)
Okay, that’s legitimately charming. (Uncanny X-Men #267)
I would read an entire series about what happens on this page. (Uncanny X-Men #267)
Ororo Munroe: badass at any age. (Uncanny X-Men #267)
Robot-suit fight! (Uncanny X-Men #267)
*triumphant wailing guitars* (Uncanny X-Men #267)
Next time: Excalibur meanders.

145 – Remy and ‘Ro

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Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at RedBubble, or contact David to purchase the original!

In which Val Cooper remains the club queen of U.S. Intelligence; the Shadow King is a huge jerk; Storm is a badass at any age; Gambit gets off to a surprisingly good start; “flesh and spirit” is the new “body and soul”; and we are guardedly optimistic about an upcoming release.

X-PLAINED:
  • Unconventional evidence of nefarious influence
  • Uncanny X-Men #265-267
  • Storm’s early origins
  • The Shadow King
  • Deb Levin
  • A kind of pointless revenge plot
  • Trouble in space
  • A great deal of larceny
  • Counterintuitive costuming
  • The debut of Gambit
  • An unnecessarily complicated plan
  • Charm, and charm
  • Regrets
  • Our thoughts on the upcoming Legion series

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur meanders, with guest X-Pert Elisabeth Allie!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

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As Mentioned in Episode 29 – Mutant in a Box

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Listen to the podcast here!

We’re having a stealth / plainclothes cosplay contest, with guest X-Pert judge Kris Anka, and prizes from TVStoreOnline! Submissions are open ’til November 7. JOIN US.
Yep, that’s our Fantomex.
This ridiculous motherfucker who is now THREE PEOPLE. What the hell, Fantomex?
This isn’t Cyclops’s worst vacation. Hell, it’s not even his worst honeymoon. (X-Men #176)
Wolverine and Mariko: dealing with relationship issues like grown-ups. We choose to believe that wearing a mask that looks like your hair is a prerogative of adulthood. (X-Men #176)
You’d REALLY THINK Scott would know what an octopus looks like by now, but I guess he was blindfolded for a lot of his time in Octopusheim. (X-Men #176)
Scott! The sea’s a lovely lady when you play in her. But if you play with her, she’s a BITCH! Play in the sea, yes, but never play with her. You’re lucky to be here! You’re lucky to be ALIVE! (X-Men #176, with sincere apologies to the late, great Spalding Gray. Seriously, go watch Swimming to Cambodia. And Monster in a Box. And Gray’s Anatomy. Now.)
Yeah, good luck with that, Sparky. (X-Men #176)
Val Cooper: Definitely the sister of Special Agent Dale Cooper.
The early ’80s: A more innocent time, when all a hero needed was coke and epic shoulder pads, and you could kill Wolverine by slitting his throat. (X-Men #177)
Why is Alex dressed like an elf? (X-Men #177)
As diversions go, that’s a pretty impressively orchestrated one. Go, Brotherhood! (X-Men #177)
CYCLOPS WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN WRONG WITN YOU (X-Men #178)
“Get the asprin, Rogue. I feel a crossover event coming on.” (X-Men #178)
Awyeah. (X-Men #178)
Why is Kitty wearing an unbranded Fantastic 4 costume? Who the hell knows? Do we even need a reason, at this point? (X-Men #178)
99% sure Cyndi Lauper wrote a song about this. (X-Men #179)
This is innocuous in context, until you realize he’s sniffing a dead teenager in a morgue. (X-Men #179)
Aw, Leech. (X-Men #179)
LOOK AT THIS FUCKING WIZARD LOOK AT HIS HAT LOOK AT HOW HE CLEARLY BELONGS ON THE SET OF FLASH GORDON (X-Men #179)
Professor Xavier engages in a rare moment of being absolutely delightful. (X-Men #178)
I like to imagine that Kitty and Doug’s side adventures are the subject of a mid-’80s feature film starring Jenny Lewis. (X-Men #180)
Sky closure is the best closure. (X-Men #180)
Literally the only worthwhile panel in all twelve issues of Secret Wars. (Secret Wars #1)
“I’ll see she’s raised as if she were my own. HOPE SHE LIKES BEING DROWNED IN PUDDLES.” (X-Men #181)
Oh. That guy. Again. (X-Men #181)
This Erica Henderson drawing of Warlock and Cypher doing Troy and Abed in the Morning may be the single nerdiest thing Rachel owns, and that’s saying something.
Next week: These delightful scamps.

29 – Mutant in a Box

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In which Cyclops is the worst at vacations, Mystique is your favorite MurderMom™, Havok is eternally ABD, Kitty Pryde does science, Callisto doesn’t give a damn about her bad reputation, Xavier has a Troy Barnes moment, Miles may be the only person with fond memories of Secret Wars, and Rachel finally gets to make Spalding Gray references.

X-Plained:

  • Fantomex
  • Uncanny X-Men #176-181
  • Reset issues
  • Scott Summers’s second-worst honeymoon
  • Cephalopod disambiguation
  • Project Wideawake (more) (again)
  • Valerie Cooper
  • Foreshadowing
  • Public displays of affection
  • Leech
  • How X-Men age
  • A sewer wizard
  • Doug Ramsey
  • Secret Wars
  • Japan
  • Mystique’s kids
  • Douglock
  • Mystique’s powers
  • The other X-Men Forever

Next Week: The New Mutants gets weird!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Send us your submissions to the Stealth / Plainclothes Cosplay Contest until the end of the day on Friday, November 7!