Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: vampires

As Mentioned in Episode 488 – There Goes the Moon (Mutant X May, Part 3)

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Color-coded Horsemen of Apocalypse! (Mutant X #19)
What’s the magic word? (Mutant X #19)
Someone let that flying aerobics instructor in! The rain is going to wreck her hair! (Mutant X #20)
That A on his belt stands for Ally! (Mutant X #20)
Note that Charles Xavier’s Evil Mullet is never seen outside of these two panels. (Mutant X #21)
Not a bad riff on the Phoenix costume, honestly. (Mutant X #21)
And then Professor X turned into Doctor Fate. (Mutant X #22)
“That’s right, my friends! We must strike Galactus with every color of the traffic light!” (Mutant X #22)
You ever have a dream where someone is mean to you and then you’re still mad at them when you see them in real life? (Mutant X #23)
Behold! Bargain-basement X-Man, with bonus moppets! (Mutant X #23)
Just a hell of a cover. (Mutant X #24)
Why would you put a portal to the Negative Zone in the goddamn FLOOR?! At least put up a guard rail or something! I’m calling OSHA! (Mutant X #24)
Spoiler: they all just go to a bar. (Mutant X #25)
Flowers for Beast-gernon. (Yes, yes, we know Algernon is the mouse.) (Mutant X #25)
ah jeez (Mutant X #25)
It’s cool, Bloodstorm. We’ve all been there. (Mutant X #26)
The Marauders! (Mutant X #26)
Meet Dagger. And also sorta Cloak. (Mutant X #27)
Awwwwww (Mutant X #27)
Okay, that kid is way too chill. (Mutant X #28)
That’s way better than Evil Xavier’s mullet! (Mutant X #29)
Why, it’s the brand new Sabre-Roaster 3000, as seen on TV! (Mutant X #29)
Plus Iron Giant Man, but he’s too big for this panel! (Mutant X #30)
(This caption intentionally left blank) (Mutant X #31)
After this, they blow up the moon! (Mutant X #31)
The Beyonder x-plains Mutant X! And also eats Captain America. (Mutant X Annual 2001)
It’s really hard to pick a favorite! (Mutant X Annual 2001)
Benjamin E. Yonder, you put the population of New York City down right now! (Mutant X Annual 2001)
Well, I would have said “WHAT?!” (Mutant X #32)
Dracula dies not with a bang, but with a PFFFT. (Mutant X #32)
*sniffle* (Mutant X #32)
Goodbye, Earth-1298. It’s been a hell of a ride. (Mutant X #32)
NEXT TIME: Black ops in black leather!

488 – There Goes the Moon (Mutant X May, Part 3)

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In which we reap the consequences of our choices; possession is 18/10 of the law; Sinister dresses for the occasion; Hank gets his groove back; Havok of Earth-1298 is a jerk; Hank loses his groove; Captain America blows up the moon; the Beyonder experiences a stirring; Dracula makes a deal; and Mutant X May comes to an end.

X-PLAINED:

  • The aftermath of Mutant X
  • Mutant X #19-32
  • Mutant X Annual 2001
  • The story so far
  • Character color coding
  • Some telepathic misdirection
  • Apocalypse of Earth-1298
  • Charles Xavier of Earth-1298
  • Professor X’s Juggernaut-fightin’ mullet
  • A whole lot of possession
  • Fake Galactus
  • Several fears
  • X-Man of Earth-1298
  • Child batteries
  • The worst place for a portal to the Negative Zone
  • How Hank McCoy became the Brute
  • Vampire problems
  • The Marauders of Earth-1298
  • The Outcasts of Earth-1298
  • Cloak & Dagger of Earth-1298
  • James Hudson of Earth-1298
  • The Avengers of Earth-1298
  • The Beyonder of Earth-1298 who is also kind of the Goblin Force
  • Several additional superheroes
  • A last stand
  • The appeal of alternate timelines
  • Earth-1298’s best glow-ups

NEXT EPISODE: Attack of the Meatspore Stormtroopers!

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As Mentioned in Episode 476 – The Moppets Take Manhattan

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Moppets on the run! (Generation X #59)
The meme before the meme but after the thing that became the meme. (Generation X #59)
Generation X vs. New Warriors. (Generation X #59)
Can’t really argue with that. (Generation X #59)
R.I.P., Butter Rum. (Generation X #59)
Oh, hey, it’s Mondo! (Generation X #60)
I don’t know if it’s the pose, or the color and font of the text, or what, but I can’t shake the idea that this is their holiday card. (Generation X #60)
Have you ever seen him in the same place as Santa? I REST MY CASE. (Generation X #61)
Spirit Halloween Hellfire Club. (Generation X #60)
Look at this silly-ass Dracula. (Generation X #60)
He will hypnotize you with the power of… ugly wallpaper! (Generation X #61)
Vampire quick-change? (Generation X #62)
Vampire quick-change! (Generation X #62)
NEXT EPISODE: Ages of Apocalypse!

Links & Further Conflagrations:

476 – The Moppets Take Manhattan

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In which we remain adamant pro-POG advocates; Artie and Leech have adventures; Firestar and Emma Frost get some resolution; Santa Claus may or may not be the avatar of Cyttorak; Black Tom Cassidy exceeds expectations; and Monet has vampire problems.

X-PLAINED:

  • Marvel’s Revolution line
  • POGs (somewhat) (again)
  • Who’s on Generation X these days
  • Generation X #59-62
  • Artie and Leech’s adventures in NYC
  • Holidays at the Massachusetts Academy
  • Cordelia Frost (more) (again)
  • Mondo (the real one)
  • Santa Claus / Juggernaut disambiguation
  • An overly convoluted plot
  • Parenting?
  • St. Croix family problems
  • Vampire problems
  • Legacies of Generation X

NEXT EPISODE: Ages of Apocalypse!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 438 – The Man of Harsh Business

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The confident sneer of a man with a shillelagh. (Uncanny X-Men #361)
Wolverine, vigilante relationship counselor. (Uncanny X-Men #361)
A Juggernaut diminished. (Uncanny X-Men #361)
Dude’s got his flaws, but Gambit really knows how to make an entrance! (Uncanny X-Men #361)
Shadowcat and Gambit have met before, but never so close to whatever’s in Juggernaut’s pants. (Uncanny X-Men #361)
“I especially don’t want anyone to see my impressive collection of Jonathan Taylor Thomas calendars!” (Uncanny X-Men #361)
The X-Men have their best conversations while fighting ninjas or ninja equivalents. (Uncanny X-Men #361)
Jack of Queen of Hearts Death! (Uncanny X-Men #361)
Comedy gold. (X-Men #81)
I’ve missed this dynamic. (X-Men #81)
It’s so easy to follow the motion of this fight even through still images… Pay attention, every modern action director! (X-Men #81)
The three words every woman longs to hear: “I hurrk hkk”. (X-Men #81)
Hairy hugs! (Wolverine: Black Rio)
THE MAN OF HARSH BUSINESS (Wolverine: Black Rio)
My only complaint with this panel is that the sound effect should actually be SHAAARK (Wolverine: Black Rio)
Logan knows how to party! (Wolverine: Black Rio)
Logan continues to know how to party! (Wolverine: Black Rio)
I have questions. (Wolverine: Black Rio)
To this, we can only say: huh. (Wolverine: Black Rio)
“Sorry I didn’t get here sooner. This thing has, like, a lot of zippers.” (Wolverine: Black Rio)
The road goes Wolver on and on. (Wolverine: Black Rio)
NEXT EPISODE: The Hunt for Xavier begins!

438 – The Man of Harsh Business

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In which Gambit knows how to make an entrance; Rogue and Gambit only have relationship conversations during superhero fights; Wolverine fights a shark; and we have opinions on how to handle certain aspects of backstory.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to take over Madripoor
  • Uncanny X-Men #361
  • X-Men #81
  • Wolverine: Black Rio
  • The X-Men’s rapid slide back to the status quo
  • Steve Comicraft
  • The fork of loneliness
  • Cyttorak (again)
  • Black Tom Cassidy (again)
  • Peacocks
  • Sarasota Jungle Gardens
  • What’s sticking out of Juggernaut’s pants
  • Favorite versions of the Danger Room
  • Floriography
  • Kali (kind of)
  • Mary Purcell (a bit)
  • Rio Carnival
  • An outfit
  • Detective Antonio Vargas and his mustache
  • Saint Cyrus Leviticus
  • Ezra
  • Comparing mutant and Inhuman culture
  • Demonic homage

NEXT EPISODE: The Hunt for Xavier begins!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 346 – Romancing the Gehenna Stone

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Darts with Patch. (Wolverine #11)
Burt Corrigan, at his driest. (Wolverine #11)
Now THAT’S how you arrive at court. (Wolverine #11)
I would argue that Burt is MORE competent than most of the people around him, and also more vampire-aware. (Wolverine #11)
He’s the best at what he does, and what he does makes for pretty fun splash pages. (Wolverine #12)
Dang, man. (Wolverine #12)
So, that happened. (Wolverine #13)
Good times, good times. (Wolverine #13)
THE PRECIOUS! (Wolverine #13)
AGAIN: NOBODY IN THIS COMIC CAN FLY. (Wolverine #14)
Two corner-box Wolverines are better than one! (Wolverine #15)
Aw, Burt. (Wolverine #15)
The Hand of God, everybody! (Wolverine #15)
Hell, yeah, you are. (Wolverine #15)
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught!

346 – Romancing the Gehenna Stone

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we continue to avoid Onslaught with a jaunt over to the Wolverine solo series; Logan is terrible at both being a loner and secret identities; fake vampires are fundamentally hilarious; and Burt Corrigan is the hero we need.

X-PLAINED

  • Hyperstorm (kinda)
  • Wolverine #11-16
  • A very full week
  • What Wolverine has been up to
  • Madripoor
  • Several supporting cast members
  • “Patch”
  • Archie Corrigan
  • Burt Corrigan
  • Several things to do in San Francisco
  • Vampire humor
  • Ba’al
  • The Gehenna Stone
  • Penis bones
  • The Hand of God
  • Doomsday
  • Mutual fratricide
  • A midair brawl
  • Secret identity problems
  • Claw problems
  • Other metals with which one’s skeleton might be bonded
  • Bisecting Logan
  • Team-ups we’d like to see

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk!

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, honestly, we promise.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 153 – Mermaid Parade

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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
These two have their moments. (Excalibur #28)
Aw. (Excalibur #28)
“I’m Brian’s significantly more fashion-forward brother.” (Excalibur #28)
…’kay. (Excalibur #28)
Well, then. (Excalibur #28)
I don’t know what you do in fights, but… (Excalibur #28)
Man, these Sweet Valley High novels are getting weird. (Excalibur #28)
The Excalibur #29 wall of shame.
Not every day. Just, y’know, most days. (Excalibur #29)
HEY, KIDS! COMICS! (Excalibur #29)
I just. Wow. (Excalibur #29)
Okay, so, that’s a pretty cool layout.
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Excalibur #29)
Breakfast with Excalibur is aggressively informal. (Excalibur #29)
Alysande “I knew I’d have been better off staying home and drinking” Stuart. (Excalibur #30)
Not mentioning W.H.O. here was kind of a waste. (Excalibur #30)
And then Captain Britain got his ass kicked by the elderly. (Excalibur #30)
Good dog. (Excalibur #30)
These delightful scamps! (Excalibur #30)
[Insert Second Coming joke here.] (Excalibur #31)
I really hope they never stop bringing that up, because it never stops being funny. (Excalibur #31)
Um. Can we… maybe not? (Excalibur #31)
LOOK AT THIS GOOFY TURTLE-LOOKING DUDE (Excalibur #31)
They’re about as effective as they look. (Excalibur #31)
NEXT EPISODE: Talking Iceman with Sina Grace!

153 – Mermaid Parade

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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

In which Miles gets an etymology lesson; Nightcrawler is the most dateable guy in the X-Universe; Meggan is basically all the cryptids; Michael Higgins must be stopped; Alistair Stuart is terrible at adulting; we really hope Brian wasn’t too attached to that airplane; and in retrospect, there probably should have been a Spalding Gray joke in there somewhere.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Montesi Formula
  • Excalibur #28-31
  • The Gilded Lady
  • The quintessential post-college experience
  • The word “cooter”
  • Relative gullibility
  • A generally unacceptable issue
  • Loungewear
  • Vampires, kind of
  • Some uncomfortably colonial imagery
  • Krakoa, Jr.
  • The Vega Men
  • The aftermath of Axis
  • Colossus’s probable politics

NEXT EPISODE: Talking Iceman with Sina Grace!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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