Warlock – Page 3 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 256 – Mullets of Time and Space

July 14, 2019 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Always aspire to a higher level of time paradox! (Excalibur #75)

How much extra creepiness does this already creepy scene get from the bolding of “his”? (Excalibur #75)

It’s his girlfriend. He called and asked her to come over. There is literally no reason that this should be so mysterious and pseudo-suspenseful. (Excalibur #75)

You do you, Amanda. (Excalibur #75)

PITCH: “What if only Captain Britain’s arms had returned from the timestream?” (Excalibur #75)

If you need me, I will be over here having FEELINGS about the lack of official acknowledgement of this relationship. (Excalibur #75)

“I was going to have some really dubious facial hair.” (Excalibur #75)

This better be worth it. (Excalibur #75)

[Ron Howard narrator voice] It was not worth it. (Excalibur #75)

GET IT? GET IT? GET IT? (Excalibur #75)

I hope you’re happy in the life you’ve chosen for yourself. (Excalibur #76)

“I mean, for some value of the term.” (Excalibur #76)

Well, that’s portentous. (Excalibur #76)

This is UNQUESTIONABLY the face of a man who has attempted to eat a toaster, a tube of lipstick, and several telephones. (Excalibur #76)

Nightcrawler, in his moppet days. (Excalibur #76)

I don’t understand D’Spayre’s torso muscles; and, frankly, I don’t care to. (Excalibur #76)

SEE WHAT I MEAN?! (Excalibur #77)

D’Spayre’s only weaknesses are joy and, by remarkable coincidence, children named Amil. (Excalibur #77)

WHAT?! (Excalibur #77)

The cutest pin-up. (Excalibur #77)

NEXT EPISODE: The adventures of Rachel Summers in the 37th Century!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

You can hear all about D’Spayre’s first clash with the X-Men (or at least one of them) in Episode 14 – Look Upon My Man-Thing and D’Spayre!
We talked about the time Margali Szardos build Nightcrawler his own private hell in Episode 134 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival.

256 – Mullets of Time and Space

July 14, 2019 Jay 16 comments

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In which you raised a lot of money for Trans Lifeline; we continue to miss Alan Davis; Rory Campbell should not be narrating a climactic event; Daytripper needs to dial up her eldritch patter; the universe is dubiously self-correcting; Britannic is not nearly weird enough; and we have ongoing concerns about the anatomy of incarnate concepts.

X-PLAINED:

The X-Men of Earth-77995
Excalibur #75-77
Daytripper
A somewhat pointless sacrifice
Rough times in the timestream
Britannic
X-theology
D’Spayre’s butt
The rest of D’Spayre
Margali Szardos
The blood-brain barrier
Acrobatic flirtation
The Winding Way
Stark emptiness
A shocking possible resurrection
Major X
Essential characters

NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Rachel Summers in the 37th Century!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 238 – Meet Them Where They Are

March 10, 2019 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

You can get this shirt–and other rad stuff–over at our teepublic store.

THAT MUSTACHE! (X-Force #26)

Bobby’s “tell your friends that their friends are dead” outfit is somewhat nontraditional, but I’m digging it.

Damnit, Rictor. (X-Force #26)

That “X-Gear” label raises some questions. Do they manufacture their own line of exercise wear? (X-Force #26)

KLIK (X-Force #26)

Reignfire definitely owns several electric guitars, right? (X-Force #26)

Ewwwwww. (Uncanny X-Men #305)

Opal deserves better, forever. (Uncanny X-Men #305)

Meet Louis “Samuel ‘Mark Twain’ Clemens” St. Croix. (Uncanny X-Men #305)

Oh, right, it’s The Year of the Flesh Ribbons. (Uncanny X-Men #305)

DIDJA MISS HIM?! (Uncanny X-Men #306)

Those faces… Romita… noooo… (Uncanny X-Men #306)

Hi, Candy! (Uncanny X-Men #306)

Ororo Munroe: wind rider, fashion queen! (Uncanny X-Men #306)

Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #306)

Oh. Oh, no. (Uncanny X-Men #306)

EAT IT, HODGE. (Uncanny X-Men #306)

NEXT EPISODE: Maximoffstravaganza, feat. Max Carleton!

LINKS & FURTHER RESURRECTIONS

Come see us at Emerald City Comic Con!
You can find the new Heck Yeah Queens t-shirt designed by Randall Trang in our Teepublic shop!
For the full scoop on Cameron Hodge, check out our previous coverage of his various nefarious activities!

238 – Meet Them Where They Are

March 10, 2019 Jay 14 comments

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In which X-Force is the new New Mutants; Professor is what Cable has instead of a burn book; Cable develops emotional literacy; Jay has a lot of feelings about Shatterstar; Cowboys can be wizards, too; you really shouldn’t call adult people “child”; privilege is truly the greatest superpower; Cameron Hodge remains improbably difficult to kill; Candy Southern gets to write the ending to her own story; and Emerald City Comic Con is coming up REALLY fast!

X-PLAINED:
Reignfire
Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
Some new merch
X-Force #26
Uncanny X-Men #305-306
The evolution of Tabitha Smith’s code name
X-Force and its members (more) (again)
Professor’s narrative function
A sudden mustache and its potential implications
A lot of things about Shatterstar
Cable as a leader
Armor full of skin
Louis St. Croix and/or Mark Twain
An inappropriate nickname
The first Xavier school prom
Inflatable erotic accessory semantics
The return of Candy Southern
The return of Cameron Hodge
Moral event horizons and how to handle them in comics
Pros and cons of dating telepaths

NEXT EPISODE: A Maximoffstravaganza, feat. Max Carleton

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Come see us at Emerald City Comic Con!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 223 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival

November 18, 2018 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

We went to Vegas Valley Comic Book Fest!

Possibly the grooviest Dracula-related cover ever published. (X-Men Annual #6)

HELL, YEAH, IT’S DRACULA! (X-Men Annual #6)

Kitty is having SO MANY FEELINGS, and you will NEVER UNDERSTAND! (X-Men Annual #6)

Check out Cyclops and Nightcrawler exchanging a look, like, “Parents? What the hell are those?” (X-Men Annual #6)

This panel is actually a pretty good encapsulation of what I remember about being 13. (X-Men Annual #6)

TBH, a lot of Kitty’s dreams probably start like this. (X-Men Annual #6)

THAT’S NOT A BAT. (X-Men Annual #6)

Dracula is probably the only person who looked at a bright green catsuit and yellow pouches and thought “stealth.” He’s mysterious like that. (X-Men Annual #6)

Ah, 13: that tender age when a young girl’s heart turns to eldritch summonings. (X-Men Annual #6)

Dracula, that’s really the kind of thing you should be keeping track of. (X-Men Annual #6)

[Eliot Spencer voice] “It’s a very distinctive sound effect.” (X-Men Annual #6)

How does Nightcrawler know the Montesi Formula? Who knows? Who cares? He’s a good pal. (X-Men Annual #6)

OH, SNAP. (X-Men Annual #6)

That’s our Wolvie! (X-Men Annual #6)

Lilith really looks like she’s visiting from an Archie comic. (X-Men Annual #6)

Skids and Northstar!

NEXT EPISODE: Fix the future!

And here’s a bonus gallery of Jay’s convention sketches:

Quentin Quire is indisputably the Nancy of the X-Men.

Warlock!

Smol Magneto.

Iceman assures you that he is rad.

LINKS & FURTHER GAMBLES:

We discussed X-Men #159–and a lot of other Dracula-relevant material–in Episode 18 – You’ve Got a Dracula Problem.
You can hear–and see!–us read the picture-book adaptation of “Days of Future Past” in the Jay & Miles Storytime Special.

As Mentioned in Episode 200 – Lightning in a Bottle, with Louise Simonson

June 3, 2018 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

For the beginning of Louise Simonson’s X-Factor run, check out Episode 64 – Ski Lodge of Apocalypse.
We started covering Simonson’s New Mutants run in Episode 82 – Birds and Boys.
Hear about the aftermath of Doug Ramsey’s death in Episode 91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told.
For a close look at Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown, click over to Episode 114 – Meltdown.
You can learn more about the Judgment War arc in Episode 128 – A Stupid Way to Die, and Episode 133 – Feisty Little Fellow from the Stars.
Louise previously appeared on the show–along with Chris Claremont–in Episode 168 – Live at NYCC.
(We interviewed Chris at more length in Episode 100 – Unexpected Wonder.)
And we talked a lot about the mutant metaphor and current politics in Episode 164 – This Is the Mutant Revolution: Live at Rose City Comic Con.
The new Power Pack podcast we mentioned this episode is Unpacking the Power Pack. Go give ’em a listen!

200 – Lightning in a Bottle, with Louise Simonson

June 3, 2018 Jay 29 comments

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In which we celebrate a major milestone with the coolest person ever to work on the X-books and look back at the last four-plus years of the podcast; and nobody ends up on trial at the Hague.

NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles take a much-needed vacation.

NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men take the fight to Mojoworld!

Check out our blog for links to the stuff we discussed in this episode!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 198 – How to Destroy the Universe Without Really Trying

May 20, 2018 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Alas, the Walter Simonson cover is a false alarm. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)

Sweet threads, Brigadier! (Excalibur: Air Apparent)

Life Model Decoy life is hard. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)

At this point, she should really just change her code name to “Ripley.” (Excalibur: Air Apparent)

Thiiiiiiiiis guy. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)

“Maybe, like, a buck fifty?” (Excalibur: Air Apparent)

And that’s why we don’t experiment on ourselves, Dr. Cayre. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)

Air-Walker is a cyborg who loves his work. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)

And now, a whole bunch of Lockheed making really good shifty faces! (Excalibur: Air Apparent)

Seriously, it’s basically just this for like six images. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)

What, you thought I was joking? (Excalibur: Air Apparent)

I was not joking. (Excalibur: Air Apparent)

(Okay, fine, I also threw in a Captain Britain suit on fire.) (Excalibur: Air Apparent)

But here’s one more Lockheed, for good measure! (Excalibur: Air Apparent)

“Remember when I basically destroyed the universe? Good times!” (Excalibur: Air Apparent)

Well, it’s no Excalibur #41 or 52, but I guess it’ll do. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)

He’s got style, I’ll give him that. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)

Doom is a tough audience. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)

Scott Summers: hopelessly uncool in just about any time period. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)

World War II Angel may in fact be the best Angel. Dang! (Excalibur: XX Crossing)

But what could it be?! (Excalibur: XX Crossing)

IT’S A HONKER OF DOOM! (Excalibur: XX Crossing)

Sure, why not? (Excalibur: XX Crossing)

This is one of those costumes that really only works in specific art styles; but this is one of them. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)

I mean, he is kind of a notorious dick… (Excalibur: XX Crossing)

He died as he lived: crushed under a tower of word balloons. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)

That Kitty and Bobby briefly dated later makes this much funnier. (Excalibur: XX Crossing)

NEXT EPISODE: Shattershot!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

How to Snakes is one of the best things on YouTube. Watch, listen, and learn.
Our RoboCop Remake is amazing and ABSOLUTELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK. You’ve been warned.
This Monty Python sketch may clarify a few of Jay’s more bizarre moments in this episode.
To learn all about Honkers, listen to Episode 197 – Wolverine and the Honker of Doom.

198 – How to Destroy the Universe Without Really Trying

May 20, 2018 Jay 41 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Excalibur goes 16-bit platformer; Alysande gets new threads; Shadowcat should probably just change her code name to Ripley; Captain Britain may or may not destroy the universe; Doctor Doom tries his hand at human resources; Excalibur is at home with weirdness; and no lizard needs breasts.

X-PLAINED:

Invisible Boy
Human heralds of Galactus
Excalibur Special Editions
Excalibur: Air Apparent
Excalibur: XX Crossing
Dr. Jonothon Cayre
Norm the LMD
Lava pits of Scotland
Some dubious herpetology
Eric the Cyborg (Coldblood-7)
Robert Cop
Special Man
Air-Walker and/or Gabriel Lam
A cosmic explosion
Captain Britain’s extra costume
Sidestep
An exceptionally awkward job interview
A counterintuitive plan
The other time-displaced X-Men
The best version of Angel
Angel’s third-greatest nemesis
Gladiator Hank
A very fancy vest
The best Excalibur Special Edition
The Phalanx vs. the Technarchy
Warlock vs. gender
Our thoughts on Avengers: Infinity War

Note: according to the letter column from Excalibur #54, at least some of the art credits for Excalibur: XX Crossing were incorrect, so some of our descriptions of who drew what in this episode are wrong. See the comments below for more information!

NEXT EPISODE: Shattershot!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 169 – Bad Kansas

October 29, 2017 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

SO, THAT’S GRAPHIC. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Yeah, I’m with Phoenix on this one. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Oh, that’s NEVER good. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

I’m not gonna say that Havok’s hat is the greatest abomination of this world, but it’s a pretty bad hat. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Oh, that makes perfect… sense? (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Seriously. Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

It’s hard to be a Phoenix host in a hell dimension. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Those eyebrows, though. Daaaamn. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Seriously, those things are off the rails. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

And then the Phoenix defeated the Nazis with the power of gayness. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Well, that’s one way to do it. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

So, yeah. Giant Naked Cosmic Nazi Space Xavier. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (New Mutants Summer Special)

Have we mentioned that Brett Blevins is a national treasure and must be protected at all costs? Brett Blevins is a national treasure and must be protected at all costs. (New Mutants Summer Special)