Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: wolverine

29 – Mutant in a Box

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In which Cyclops is the worst at vacations, Mystique is your favorite MurderMom™, Havok is eternally ABD, Kitty Pryde does science, Callisto doesn’t give a damn about her bad reputation, Xavier has a Troy Barnes moment, Miles may be the only person with fond memories of Secret Wars, and Rachel finally gets to make Spalding Gray references.

X-Plained:

  • Fantomex
  • Uncanny X-Men #176-181
  • Reset issues
  • Scott Summers’s second-worst honeymoon
  • Cephalopod disambiguation
  • Project Wideawake (more) (again)
  • Valerie Cooper
  • Foreshadowing
  • Public displays of affection
  • Leech
  • How X-Men age
  • A sewer wizard
  • Doug Ramsey
  • Secret Wars
  • Japan
  • Mystique’s kids
  • Douglock
  • Mystique’s powers
  • The other X-Men Forever

Next Week: The New Mutants gets weird!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Send us your submissions to the Stealth / Plainclothes Cosplay Contest until the end of the day on Friday, November 7!

As Mentioned in Episode 28 – What’s New, Shadowcat?

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Art by David Wynne! You can get prints here through 11/2/2014; or contact David to purchase the original.
Kitty’s Fairy Tale is one of the best and most beloved issues of Uncanny X-Men.
D’awwwwww. (X-Men #153)
The Beast With No Name does his best River City Ransom. (X-Men #153)
The rest of the X-Men are as delighted with Kitty’s fairy tale as we are. (X-Men #153)
No, seriously. This issue is FANTASTIC. (X-Men #153)
In a lot of ways, Kitty’s Fairy Tale is a fantasy riff on the Dark Phoenix Saga with a happy ending, which makes the end of the issue kinda bittersweet. (X-Men #153)
Kitty Pryde and Wolverine: We read it so you don’t have to.
The fact that she still has her skates is really damn charming. (Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #1)
Don’t call Wolverine, Kitty! He’ll bogart your miniseries! (Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #1)
Kitty’s dad: kind of the worst. (Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #2)
Your homework: Rate the creepiness of this scene on the X-Men scale of one to Belasco. (Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #2)
Okay. That’s legitimately fairly cool. (Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #2)
In which Al Milgrom is not Frank Miller, and Chris Claremont writing for Al Milgrom is not Chris Claremont writing for Frank Miller. SIGH. (Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #3)
“Well, Kitty Pryde called me from Japan and then disappeared… BUT WHO COULD THIS INTANGIBLE MASKED OPPONENT POSSIBLY BE?” (Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #3)
Can we talk about how Yukio’s outfit in this scene is THE BEST OUTFIT EVER? (Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #3)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #3)
Samurai eyefucking, illustrated. (Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #4)
Oh, Kitty, no. (Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #4)
Remember being fifteen and thinking “Shadowcat” was a really good, really grown-up code name? (Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #4)
Headcanon: Yukio moonlights with the Hong Kong Cavaliers. (Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #5)
This cover is a pretty good metaphor for what went wrong in this series. (Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #6)
Sorry, Wolverine. Your Samurai eyefucking game is lacking. (Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #6)
THE BEST PART IS THAT THEY ARE DRESSED LIKE THAT TO GO OUT FOR ICE CREAM. We would SO have hung out with these weirdos in high school. (Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #6)
Seriously, Yukio, what the hell are you even wearing? I mean, it’s awesome, but, what? (Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #6)
Excalibur Kitty is the best Kitty. (Excalibur #2)
NO, SERIOUSLY.
That time Kitty realized it was very much the early aughts.
Despite its dubious title and weirdly hypersexy-shiny art, X-Treme X-Men: Mekanix is actually a super solid Kitty Pryde series.
Professor K.
Kitty and Illyana sass is the best sass. (Wolverine and the X-Men #37)
If you like granular, obsessive journeys into media, we recommend the hell out of the podcast Into It, in which our friend Elle interviews people about their pop-culture obsessions.
Next Week: Rachel finally gets to make some Spalding Grey jokes.

Links:

As Mentioned in Episode 25 – The Best at What He Does

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Art by David Wynne, after Katsushika Hokusai. Prints available until 10/12; or contact David to purchase the original.
Because you demanded it: Probably a Summers Brother t-shirts (light or dark backgrounds) and other gear are now a thing that exist, and which you can purchase using moneydollars!
Welcome to the Wolverine comic that will forever set the bar for Wolverine comics.
Shingen: Totally a dick. (Wolverine #1)
Seriously. This asshole. (Wolverine #1)
Things that never get old: Frank Miller drawing Wolverine beating up on Ninja. (Wolverine #2)
Other things that never get old: Our favorite lady, Yukio! (Wolverine #2)
Okay, look, like 2/3 of this gallery is just going to be us drooling over these amazing Frank Miller fight scenes. Deal with it. (Wolverine #2)
Mariko is less impressed with Miller’s stylish portrayal of gruesome violence. (Wolverine #2)
MORE NINJA! (Wolverine #3)
Yukio, ladies and gentlemen. (Wolverine #3)
Taking a break from drooling over stylish fight scenes to drool over a stylish chase scene. (Wolverine #3)
If you’re not hearing the narration in Steve Blum’s voice, you’re doing Wolverine wrong. (Wolverine #4)
LOOK AT THAT NARRATIVE SYMMETRY. (Wolverine #4)
We were going to choose one or two panels from this fight scene, but, nope, it’s perfect. Deal. (Wolverine #4)
HOLY BALLS FRANK MILLER (Wolverine #4)
The X-Men show up to congratulate Wolverine on the completion of his first solo miniseries. (Uncanny X-Men #172)
Look at that adorable Ninja meet-cute! Also: Pretty sure Smith is taking a cue from Miller with the sudden influx of vertical panels and silhouetted buildings. (Uncanny X-Men #172)
Yeah, look, remember how we said this was gonna all be Miller fight scenes? There will also be a lot of Storm and Yukio, because, Storm and Yukio. (Uncanny X-Men #172)
In which Kitty Pryde realizes that Wolverine has been moonlighting in a significantly less code-sensitive series. (Uncanny X-Men #172)
There is literally nothing that you can tell us that will convince us that these two ladies are not Totally Doin’ It. (Uncanny X-Men #172)
Meanwhile, Rogue and Wolverine bond over casual violence. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
Seriously. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
Totally Doin’ It. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
They should really just hand out little warning pamphlets about Mastermind. What a dick. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
Remember when Madelyne Pryor was AWESOME? Sigh. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
Ooh, burn. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
THAT SINGLE TEAR. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
John Byrne’s original concept for what Wolverine would look like under the mask. He ended up using this design for Sabretooth instead.
Next Week: The New Mutants meet Team America!

Further Reading:

25 – The Best at What He Does

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Art by David Wynne, after Katsushika Hokusai.
Art by David Wynne, after Katsushika Hokusai.

In which Wolverine gets his first miniseries, Yukio is still (and forever) the best, we categorically reject the classification “manic pixie dreamgirl,” everything is noir as hell, Wolverine gets an Iron Giant moment, Storm is too cool for your dress code, and we finally made “Probably a Summers Brother” t-shirts.

X-Plained:

  • X-23
  • The 1982 Wolverine miniseries
  • Uncanny X-Men #172-173
  • Rachel’s Wolverine feelings
  • An auspicious road trip
  • Early Frank Miller
  • A really epic team-up
  • Plug’n’play storytelling
  • How to tell a good Wolverine story
  • Mariko Yashida
  • Honor
  • Shingen Yashida
  • Yukio
  • The Inverse Law of Ninjas
  • The Forty-Seven Ronin
  • Silver Samurai
  • Viper
  • A Ninja meet-cute
  • The Cyclops / Wolverine double standard
  • The secret origins of Wolverine’s mask and hair

Next Week: The New Mutants meet Team America!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 22 – Through Death and Through Life

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Listen to the episode here!

At some point, someone pointed out that this is technically Anniversary X, and it was a pretty slippery slope from there.
We are aware that our favorite romance has its share of detractors. We don’t care. (Art by David Wynne.)
Actual photograph of Rachel and Miles at their 8th-grade graduation dance. (X-Men #32)
This is literally as explicit a conversation they have about it for… pretty much the entire Silver Age. (X-Men #32)
Proposal #1. Unfortunately, Jean is a) actually the Phoenix Force, and b) about to die on the moon. (Uncanny X-Men #136)
Not directly pertinent, but it’s one of our favorite moments. (Uncanny X-Men #137)
Scott saying goodbye to Jean immediately before marrying Madelyne Pryor. That really, really didn’t work out, but we like the sentiment–that “true love” doesn’t always have to mean “one true love.” (Uncanny X-Men #175)
Scott doesn’t actually work out that Madelyne and Jean are identical until X-Factor #14. Headcanon: Hella prosopagnosia.
Scott and Jean are reunited in a panel that appears to have fled from Apartment 3-G to X-Factor #1.
Jean gets Madelyne and Phoenix’s memories–and her own telepathy–back. (X-Factor #38)
Proposal #2. (X-Factor #53)
Jean’s response. (X-Factor #53)
“Fatal Attractions” was a rough time for everyone, but probably worst for Wolverine. (X-Men vol. 2 #75)
Proposal #3, guest-starring John Romita, Jr.’s profoundly alarming faces. (Uncanny X-Men #308)
Fate can go fuck itself. Damn, we love these two. (Uncanny X-Men #308)
There is probably no other panel from the entire 50 years of X-Men that we’ve sent back and forth more than this one. (Uncanny X-Men #308)
He’s actually fighting some dude who broke into the X-mansion and bonding with his time-displaced kid, but the basic principle of failing-at-bachelor-party still stands. (Uncanny X-Men #310)
And now, the main event. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Andy Kubert x body language. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Charles Xavier of X-Men vol. 2 #30 is the best Charles Xavier.
He also has the best timing. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Look at all those X-Men. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Can we have a moment of silent appreciation for the fact that Storm managed to find a dress that perfectly encapsulates the 1990s? (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Best vows? Best vows. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Scott, Jean, we’re gonna let you finish… (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
…but Rogue and Gambit’s kiss in X-Men vol. 2 #41 is the best kiss in X-Men.
September 4, 2014.

Links:

NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Miles are going on vacation. Read a book. WEEK AFTER NEXT: The New Mutants!

22 – Through Death and Through Life

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scottandjeanv3_cropped
Art by David Wynne

In which Rachel and Miles celebrate an anniversary with a retrospective of one of the great romances of the Marvel universe; the Summers/Grey family tree is more of a transdimensional strawberry patch; the X-Men play some football; Professor Xavier is not a jerk; and Scott Summers and Jean Grey are the power couple of existentialism.

X-Plained

  • Summers kids
  • Scott and Jean
  • Feelings
  • X-Men #32
  • The worst date ever
  • Madelyne Pryor
  • Plot-relevant prosopagnosia
  • Three proposals
  • X-Factor #53
  • Uncanny X-Men #308
  • “Fatal Attractions”
  • That one panel that gets us every time
  • X-Men vol. 2 #30
  • Some really excellent wedding vows
  • The best kiss in X-Men
  • Cats Laughing
  • Why “One” is actually a pretty decent first dance
  • Existential ramifications of fictional romance

Next week: Rachel and Miles take a much-needed vacation.

Week after next: The New Mutants!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 20 – The Brood They Carried

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WELL, THEN. (X-Men #161)
SPACE FASHION! (X-Men #161)
Stun bombs are to comics as knockout spray is to cartoons. (X-Men #161)
We really only included this to point out the smoke coming from Wolverine’s underwear. (X-Men #162)
And that’s how you do a cold open. (X-Men #162)
Remember this space whale. It’ll be important later. (X-Men #162)
So, that’s a little creepy, and… (X-Men #162)
…AUGH WAIT WHAT THE HELL?! (X-Men #162)
Fang just cannot catch a break. (X-Men #162)
This is one of very, very few times when Wolverine’s healing factor has been written as at all under his control. (X-Men #162)
How cool would it have been if he’d kept this look? Hint: So cool. (X-Men #162)
Fair warning: This visual companion is basically an excuse to post a lot of really awesome Carol Danvers moments. (X-Men #163)
Cyclops successfully completes TWO whole hugs during the Brood Saga! Also: space fashion. (X-Men #163)
So, THAT’S CREEPY. (X-Men #163)
Remember that thing about how this visual companion is mostly an excuse to post pictures of Carol Danvers being awesome? That. (X-Men #164)
ROCKET SHARKS. (X-Men #164)
Including this just for the dozen people who have written us to ask if Storm’s powers work in space (also covered in the Phoenix Saga, incidentally). (X-Men #164)
In which Claremont and/or Cockrum seem to forget that Kitty’s powers fry electrical systems. (X-Men #164)
BINARY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. (X-Men #164)
Imagine how much of Inferno could have been avoided if the Professor had decided to press this point. (X-Men #164)
AUGH GOD BINARY IS SO AWESOME. (X-Men #164)
Not that Cockrum’s not great, but can we have a moment of silence for how amazingly Neal Adams would’ve drawn this specific panel? (X-Men #164)
If you like the Brood Saga, you should be reading the current Captain Marvel series (and vice versa). This is very much the Carol Danvers of both. (X-Men #164)
That moment when the Brood Saga could’ve become a really heavy-handed reproductive-rights allegory, and we’re all really grateful that it didn’t. (X-Men #164)
Well, fuck. (X-Men #164)
Binary: Too awesome for your stupid airlock. (X-Men #164)
That time Moira MacTaggert manipulated Charles Xavier into starting a second ongoing X-book. (X-Men #165)
Welcome to X-Men, Paul Smith! Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men #165)
Faced with certain and inevitable death, the X-Men decide to go kill some Brood. (X-Men #165)
Rad bromance. (X-Men #165)
CORRECT CHOICE, COLOSSUS. (X-Men #165)
Remember that time Storm became a space whale and quoted Phoenix? (X-Men #165)
Seriously, though: Binary. (X-Men #166)
WELL, THEN. (X-Men #166)
Mostly in here to point out that Kitty’s impending death has not cooled her affection for the Shi’ar fashion machines. (X-Men #166)
Storm X-plains the Acanti, part one. (X-Men #166)
Storm X-plains the Acanti, part two. (X-Men #166)
Our episode outline addresses this panel as follows:
  • KITTY YOU ARE THE BEST NERD
  • DOES CYCLOPS WATCH STAR TREK? DISCUSS. SHOW YOUR WORK.
(X-Men #166)
(X-Men: Evolution Cyclops definitely watches Star Trek, for the record.)
In addition to the shocking reveal, this moment leads to one of stupidest and most avoidable minor continuity errors of the issue. (X-Men #166)
Best Brood moment? Best Brood moment. (X-Men #166)
LOCKHEED! (X-Men #166)
And they all lived happily ever after. (X-Men #166)
OH, WAIT. (X-Men #166)
Just in case you haven’t caught on to the fact that this is an extended thematic and structural riff on the Dark Phoenix Saga. (X-Men #167)
Can we talk about the New Mutants’ adorable collective crush on Magnum, P.I.? (X-Men #167)
THAT SUBTITLE. (X-Men #167)
Kitty’s got a new outfit. Take a drink. (X-Men #167)
Okay. This looks bad. (X-Men #167)
Speaking of the Dark Phoenix Saga… (X-Men #167)
Cyclops has a good day (and completes an unprecedented SECOND successful hug in the same story!), but this plot thread is going to lead straight to Madelyne Pryor, so, that’s probably a net loss. (X-Men #167)
That time Empress Lilandra projected into Reed and Sue Storm’s bedroom to scold them in the middle of the night. (X-Men #167)
Professor Xavier returns to life, and Kitty gets yet ANOTHER new outfit. Two drinks. (X-Men #167)
In which Kitty learns what the reader has known all along. (X-Men #167)
Next Week: Back to the Silver Age (and a very important retcon) with Kurt Busiek!

Further reading:

The Things They Carried, by Tim O’Brien.

20 – The Brood They Carried

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In which Claremont levels up; the Brood are legitimately scary; Colossus is an ethical dude; Nightcrawler and Wolverine share beers in the face of certain death; Storm turns into a space whale; we are Carol Corps for life; New Mutants are really into Magnum, P.I.; Kitty meets a dragon; and Xavier dies (again).

X-Plained:

  • Broo
  • The Brood Saga (X-Men #161-167)
  • Paul Smith
  • Space fashion
  • A really terrible awards ceremony
  • Tim O’Brien’s X-Men
  • The Brood
  • How to tell a good Wolverine story
  • Rocket sharks
  • The single most badass magical-girl transformation sequence of all time
  • Binary
  • The X-Men’s Kobayashi Maru
  • Friendship (more) (again)
  • The Acanti
  • Whether Cyclops watches Star Trek
  • The New Mutants
  • Cloning
  • Our secret cold-open formula
  • Cosmic crossovers

Next Week: Kurt Busiek! We would have words with thee!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned on Episode 19 – Acorns and Swords

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Listen to the episode here!

(Hand not to scale.) (X-Men #160)
She knows how to dodge radioactive mutants and spinning saw blades, but no one has given Illyana the talk about not taking bloodstone amulets from strangers. (X-Men #160)
If there were a drinking game, “Storm spontaneously takes a shower indoors” would be on the list. (X-Men #160)
Oops. (X-Men #160)
Kitty, you adorable nerd. (X-Men #160)
Aw. Man. Why are all the evil alternate Nightcrawlers super creepy and rapey? (X-Men #160)
This asshole. (X-Men #160)
Remember this dude. You will be seeing more of him. (X-Men #160)
EMERGO! (X-Men #160)
Whoa. (X-Men #160)
BUT WHERE COULD SHE HAVE BEEN? If only there were a miniseries that answered that very question! (X-Men #160)
Belasco, man. (X-Men #160)
Oh, hey, those guys. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
For obvious reasons, Magik includes a lot of very direct callbacks to X-Men #160. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
“Body and soul.” Take a drink. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
CAT WHAT ARE YOU WEARING WHY WOULD YOU WEAR THAT (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
So, here’s a thing: There’s a lot of creepily suggestive language about Belasco’s plans for Illyana, but none of it is reflected in the actual story. Make of that what you will, but it seems worth mentioning, for both parts. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
Aw, Cat. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
This is going to be important later. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
S’ym is a pretty pitch-perfect kid’s nightmare: a friendly, slightly silly-looking monster who’s actually one of the most sadistic, dangerous guys in the building. He’s gonna be around for a long time, too, and he only gets scarier. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #2)
MONTAGE! (Storm and Illyana: Magik #2)
Belasco is a jerk. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #2)
Aw, Cat. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #2)
Two down, three to go. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #2)
Spoiler: This is not a particularly fun or happy miniseries. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
No, there will be no elves. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
Aw, Cat. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
First try. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
Mutant powers! And a New Mutants cameo! (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
Storm’s outfit is pretty ridiculous, but her hair is on point. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
Aw, Cat. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
Well. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
SO THAT HAPPENED (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
Remember the part about this not being a happy series? This is not a happy series. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
Second try. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
Third, and last, try. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
The Soulsword, ladies and gentlemen. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
Meanwhile, in another comic altogether… (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
Human Belasco is pretty silly looking. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
And we’re back to where we left off at the end of X-Men #160. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
FACT: Illyana is freakin’ awesome. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
Next week: The Brood Saga!

19 – Acorns and Swords

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In which we continue our delve into the eldritch end of the X-Universe, Illyana Rasputin has a rough childhood even by X-Men standards, Kitty Pryde is a Niven fan, Limbo is way metal, Vincent Price is our Belasco, and Rachel and Miles have feelings about female friendships in Claremont’s X-Men.

X-Plained:

  • Mikhail Rasputin
  • Hell dimensions, including but not limited to
    • The Void
    • The Dark Zone
    • The Hill
    • Limbo
    • The other Limbo
    • Yet a third Limbo
  • Reincarnation
  • Illyana Rasputin
  • Magic vs. Magik
  • Uncanny X-Men #160
  • Octopusheim
  • Stepping Disks
  • Otherplace
  • Belasco
  • Emergo
  • S’ym
  • Storm and Illyana: Magik #1-4
  • Bloodstones
  • Yet another set of alternate X-Men
  • Friendship
  • The Soulsword
  • Podcasting

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

 

Next week: In space, no one can hear you snikt.