wolverine – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 383 – A Dude and His Ninjas

August 28, 2022 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

You definitely fight this dude in a Street Fighter game. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

Is Warren Kenneth Worthington III a worse boyfriend than Matt Murdock? Show your work. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

Kuragari may be kind of pointless, but damn does he know from thrones. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

This is literally why Jay doesn’t live in SoHo. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

Betsy, buddy, why did you program your dead friend into your murdering-to-blow-off-steam program? (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

I recognize we’re not dealing with reality persay, but I’m still pretty sure this shouldn’t work. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #2)

Do you ever want to force fictional characters into therapy? (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #2)

Spirit Halloween, all the way down. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #2)

There are worse ways to store skeletons, I’m just saying. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #3)

Oh, no. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #3)

Hi, Force Ghost Tar. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #4)

It’s so convenient that souls come in the form of little figurines, so you know whose they are. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #4)

NEXT EPISODE: It’s probably pronounced like “risk.”

LINKS & FURTHER DIMENSIONS

We first discussed Psylocke’s body swap in Episode 222 – A Tale of Two Betsys.
Gomurr, Tar, and the Crimson Dawn made their debut in Episode 330 – Suddenly, Ninjas, and yelled at Juggernaut in Episode 353 – Scientists and Superheroes.
Excalibur fought the Dragons of the Crimson Dawn in Episode 382 – Seven Swords.

383 – A Dude and His Ninjas

August 28, 2022 Jay 11 comments

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In which the Crimson Dawn is secretly a bad Daredevil arc; shadow-based transportation requires careful lighting; Dark Phoenix Saga references will not always do you favors; and Earth is big.

X-PLAINED:

Atlan the Dolphin
Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1-4
What the Crimson Dawn arc should actually be
Archangel (more) (again)
Psylocke (more) (again)
The Crimson Dawn (to what extent it can be explained)
Tar, Proctor of the Crimson Dawn (again)
Kuragari
Aesthetics of the Crimson Dawn
Undercloaks
How not to deliver a present
The worst thing about living in NYC
Sooooo much Orientalism
One way to put out a fire, I guess
“Infiltration”
Skeleton storage
The Overdrawn at the Memory Bank problem
Energy shuriken
Soul economics
Ninja Turtles on X-teams
Which X-Man would win a Pinewood Derby race

NEXT EPISODE: Risque!

NOTE: Jay’s Gollum voice is unfiltered. He can just do that at will, and it’s kind of upsetting.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 369 – Carly Askani

April 17, 2022 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

“This ought to give you” *POW* “a new perspective” *BIFF* “on things, Alex!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)

Head trauma for Lucas BIshop! (Uncanny X-Men #339)

I mean, she’s not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men #339)

“You think I just fell off the turnip truck, McCoy? No one pulls a fast one on J. Jonah Jameson!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)

“I’m Ororo Munroe, and I’m here to x-plain the X-Men… because it’s about time someone did.” (Uncanny X-Men #339)

Never trust a Summers when he tells you he’s fine. (Uncanny X-Men #339)

Well, if they can print it, I guess we can post it. (X-Men #59)

Head trauma for Lucas Bishop! Again! (X-Men #59)

Hell of a Wolverine you’ve got there, Mr. Kubert. (X-Men #59)

JOSEPH I AM CALLING THE POLICE (X-Men #59)

Not quite as good as the Rogue/Gambit kiss from #41, but still… whoa. (X-Men #59)

I’M HUGE (X-Men #59)

“For instance, I can see through this utterly massive chin.” (Wolverine Annual 1996)

Josef Stalin..? (Wolverine Annual 1996)

Up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)

…and up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)

…and up. (Wolverine Annual 1996)

“General Grievious, sir, it’s the Jedi!” (Wolverine Annual 1996)

You know, I think this might be Sunfire’s best non-Age of Apocalypse look! (Wolverine Annual 1996)

*Pacific Rim music plays* (and now it’s in your head too) (Wolverine Annual 1996)

Logan, that… that was there before. Maybe you need to adjust your bandana. (Wolverine Annual 1996)

NEXT TIME: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

369 – Carly Askani

April 17, 2022 Miles 23 comments

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In which Storm & Joseph X-Plain the X-Men, Alex Summers is not brainwashed this time, he promises, Scott Lobdell writes better moments than stories, Ed McGuinness draws very large chins, and it’s Denver the Last Dinosaur, not Denver the Lost Dinosaur

X-PLAINED:

Uncanny X-Men #339
Spider-Man disambiguation
A. Kubert disambiguation
J. Jonah Jameson (again) (hooray!)
Sneaking songs
The history of smoking regulation on airlines
Creed disambiguation
Havok’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
Bonding while falling out of planes
X-Men #59
The copyright status of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Well-drawn Wolverines
Hercules vs The Tick
Wolverine Annual 1996
The tragic death of Mariko Yashida
Silver Samurai (Kuniuchio Harada)
Sunfire (Shiro Yoshida) and what he’s been up to since Fatal Attractions
Josef Stalin, apparently?
Red Ronin and its nemesis, a time-lost dinosaur who we assure you is not Godzilla
Jedi and/or samurai vs. doors
Our logo fonts
James Howlett, guidance counselor
Onslaught but not evil
Whether Magneto could wield Mjolnir

NEXT EPISODE: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 357 – The Semiotics of Regret

December 26, 2021 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This cover accomplishes what it sets out to do so beautifully… (Uncanny X-Men #337)

…as does its credits page. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

Nothing is entirely okay here. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

Hank, no. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

And wistfulness for dessert. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

Ah, that cover. Again. (X-Men #57)

Versions of this have been used roughly a zillion times; but it always works. (X-Men #57)

The 616, where televisions always flip through the most scene-appropriate clips. (X-Men #57)

Clean up your damn flechettes, Warren Kenneth Worthington III. (X-Men #57)

(He’s not covered in water; it’s the anti-psy field and the evocation of Days of Future Past.) (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Not… the Rainbow Bears?! (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Hi, kiddo. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Psychology is… different, here. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Sure, why not? (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL, feat. Jonathan Hickman!

As Mentioned in Episode 356 – The Michael Bay-eux Tapestry

December 19, 2021 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

The 90s-est Rogue in the 90s-est crossover. (X-Men #56)

“Who but I could pose so impressively?” (X-Men #56)

“SENTINEL TZ-031 REPORTING TO HELP YOU MAKE YOUR POINT, SIR” (X-Men #56)

This Onslaught-form may mostly be a retcon to justify past artistic inconsistency – but damn it looks awesome. (X-Men #56)

“And not even one of them told me the actually-important parts of AoA’s whole deal.” (X-Men #56)

Kubert gets so much credit for making a quiet conversation this visually riveting. (X-Men #56)

“You may be a hybrid monstrosity composed of the worst parts of both myself and my greatest frenemy, but at least you seem to have excellent dental hygiene.” (X-Men #56)

This cover kinda sums it up. And that’s not a bad thing. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

Well shit. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

Scott Summers, master tactician. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

Goosebumps. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

The world’s greatest heroes versus a bright orange glow to the right of the two-page spread. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

Hope, thy name is Moppet. Despair, thy name is x-treme teen. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

“And on that day, the heroes channeled their collective courage and dedication into a single blast of punching and yelling.” (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

BTOOM (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

I’m not crying you’re crying (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

*heavy metal horns* (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

Thor, that’s not how it… oh, I guess it is. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

Man, these two (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

Nothing I can say will add to these panels. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

This shouldn’t work, but damn, it does. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

“In the meantime, I guess you could grab that universe-in-a-ball and learn contact juggling?” (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

NEXT TIME: Onslaught ends, for real.

356 – The Michael Bay-eux Tapestry

December 19, 2021 Miles 7 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which it’s hard to be Joseph; we do our best to explain the inexplicable; Miles is full of feelings; Hulk smashes; and Onslaught finally (mostly) ends.

X-PLAINED:

Heroes Reborn Return
Wild times with the Dreaming Celestial
Onslaught so far
X-Men #56
Onslaught: Marvel Universe
Jay’s definitive Bond
Joseph (more)
The physical evolution of Onslaught
Sense of scale
Hawkeye (TV series)
Onslaught’s goals, to what extent they exist
The three genders
A really big fight
A miracle of magnetism
The (nominal) end of the Age of Heroes
Beast’s scientific career
Chamber’s voice

NEXT EPISODE: Several epilogues

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 354 – The Touch of Magneto

December 5, 2021 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Elektra is… complicated. (Wolverine #104)

Where babies come from. (Wolverine #104)

This is actually how most Wolverine stories start. (Wolverine #105)

AWWWWWW. (Wolverine #105)

Ewwwwww. (Wolverine #105)

Stick in a nutshell. (Wolverine #105)

Chris Bachalo, man. Chris Bachalo. (Generation X #19)

They’re not Artie and Leech; but they’re kinda Artie and Leech. (Generation X #19)

SURE WHY NOT (Generation X #19)

Oh, buddy. You tried. (Generation X #19)

You also tried. (Generation X #19)

NEXT WEEK: HAWK TALK!
NEXT EPISODE: Tie-ins!

354 – The Touch of Magneto

November 28, 2021 Jay 14 comments

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In which Onslaught is a party that goes on way too long; we are grateful that the Hand is mostly someone else’s problem; there’s always time to get hosed down by firemen; and Emma Frost should never, under any circumstances, cook.

X-PLAINED:

The Golden Archer
Wolverine #104-105
Generation X #18-19
Portions of Elektra’s deal
Stick
Wolverine’s nose
Gateway and Onslaught
Several flashbacks
The Onslaught goblin
Retcons and character accountability
A wet open
A somewhat atypical plane flight
Toad by way of Chris Bachalo
The mysterious DL
Emma’s Montreal mansion and its staff
Cooking with Emma Frost
Quasi-benevolent mind control
Surgeon
A bonus Shadowcat power
Digital invisibility

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught tie-ins!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!