Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

385 – Super Whiny Adults Simulator 64

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we make an omission; X-Factor’s concept of “underground” is somewhat unconventional; Trevor Chase turns uncanny moppet; and Strong Guy and Lila Cheney have some very silly space adventures.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Factor #134-135
  • Strong Guy Reborn #1
  • The “deaths” of X-Factor (again)
  • Lady Cop
  • A contextually inappropriate pun
  • The Adversary (more) (again)
  • Why you use an air-gapped system
  • How not to fake your own death
  • Trevor Chase and his mysterious mutant powers
  • Rusty Trail
  • X-Factor X-Ploits
  • A lot of wasted potential
  • The Jorken-Kront war
  • Space stuff
  • Lila Cheney (more) (again)
  • Kreetor
  • Spiff’s Saucers
  • Calvin & Hobbes licensing in the Marvel Universe
  • The Chalker Brothers (briefly) (again)
  • The most useful and fun mutant powers
  • Musicals with Mister Sinister

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Maggott!


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6 comments

  1. You are both horrible people. There I was on my daily constitutional, enjoying the countryside and basking in the clammy warmth, listening happily to this episode when you had to start discussing musicals.

    Before I’d gone another hundred yards, half of this had already formed in my brain.

    A knock at the door – A disturbingly lifelike creature that looks a LOT like Scooter appears.

    “15 minutes to curtain Mr Sinister, sir”

    “Thank you Skooter” (Whew, dodged a copyright infringement there)

    “Ummm… Some of the cast are wondering about the costumes Mr Sinister”

    “What costumes?”

    “The one’s you said you’d make for tonight’s finale, the Starlight Express routine”

    “I did, did they not see the modified epi-pens on their dressing tables?”

    “They can’t wear THOSE sir.”

    “Not WEAR them, you dolt. Those contain the carefully modified techorganic virus that will turn each of them into a living train engine.”

    “I think I need to get Kermit in on this one.”

    “You do that, and then I’ll show you why I designed you to be pain sensitive.”

    Enter Kermit the Forg (Yes, Forg. The Mouse has lawyers EVERYWHERE.. If you have to ask what a forg looks like, then try to imagine what something call a forg would look like… Yeah, it’s EXACTLY like that) looking exasperated.

    “Sinister! When we hired you you said you’d worked on costumes for musicals before.”

    “I did, and I have”

    “You said you did the designs for a production of Cats that no on ever forgot.”

    “I did, and I assure you they never will”

    “Wait… did you mean the MOVIE??”

    “Of course? You thought that was all CGI? I’m almost insulted. Each of those abominations was a hand-crafted blasphemy against Nature.”

    “Were the effects permanent?”

    “Professionally? Oh yes, possibly terminally. Physically? Not really. . I mean, Judi Dench will need to be sheared twice a week for another year or so, but I believe she’s stuffing cushions with them”

    What the hell happens when I get as far as Little Shop pastiches (And I think at least two are bubbling away in my consciousness as we speak) I don’t know yet, but it’s going to be all your fault!

  2. As for the episode itself Trevor does seem to be some sort of equal but opposite to Franklin Richards: A moppet with reality warping abilities who channels his powers through playing (There used to be a recurring thread in Franklin’s FF appearances where the actions figures he was playing with in the background would mirror the actual plot… at least I think there was), so Trevor and he should probably get together and have a really cosmic game of Magic, the Gathering, or possibly Uno.

    I don’t think I’d realised you were so close to the end of X-Factor, but I wasn’t following it, so had no clue when it ended. This does seem to be a mercy cancellation given the plot as outlined.

  3. No, Warren’s secondary mutation is getting punched in the face.

    Pfff, Cyclops punch dimension. Not canon if it was only in an encyclopedia or a Guide-To. That doesn’t exist in my canon.

    Haha Iceman’s ramps make no structural/physics sense.
    Yes, in reality, all of his ice powers would cause so serious damage to buildings, etc.

    Strong guyyyy! https://drive.google.com/file/d/13MnvsZgBPmfbtr9ThKPZlE03L-P-M0Zd/view?usp=sharing

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