Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Lila Cheney

As Mentioned in Episode 385 – Super Whiny Adults Simulator 64

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Forge, what the everloving hell? (X-Factor #134)
BY YOU. THEY WERE EXAGGERATED BY YOU. ON PURPOSE. (X-Factor #134)
I don’t know what’s going on with Forge’s face here; and frankly, I don’t want to know. (X-Factor #134)
Wow, Trevor. Wow. (X-Factor #134)
Trevor has gone full creepy moppet. This is not a drill. (X-Factor #135)
This game sucks. (X-Factor #135)
WHAT THE HELL, KID (X-Factor #135)
Aw, Guido, we missed you, too. (X-Factor #135)
And now, time for the fun stuff! (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
Comic-book space is a happenin’ place. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
Either the sand figures are a metaphor, or Guido is a font of weird hidden talents. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
Ha! (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
Aw, it’s Kreetor! Hi, buddy!
Each saucer comes with a tiny image of Calvin peeing on a trademark symbol. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
Biff! Bam! Pow! (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
*Rimshot* (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
The comic is good, but getta loada the activity pages! (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
I want to know if anyone actually cut these out and used them. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
I hope so. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
Spoiler: I’m pretty sure it’s an ice cream truck. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Maggott!

385 – Super Whiny Adults Simulator 64

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we make an omission; X-Factor’s concept of “underground” is somewhat unconventional; Trevor Chase turns uncanny moppet; and Strong Guy and Lila Cheney have some very silly space adventures.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Factor #134-135
  • Strong Guy Reborn #1
  • The “deaths” of X-Factor (again)
  • Lady Cop
  • A contextually inappropriate pun
  • The Adversary (more) (again)
  • Why you use an air-gapped system
  • How not to fake your own death
  • Trevor Chase and his mysterious mutant powers
  • Rusty Trail
  • X-Factor X-Ploits
  • A lot of wasted potential
  • The Jorken-Kront war
  • Space stuff
  • Lila Cheney (more) (again)
  • Kreetor
  • Spiff’s Saucers
  • Calvin & Hobbes licensing in the Marvel Universe
  • The Chalker Brothers (briefly) (again)
  • The most useful and fun mutant powers
  • Musicals with Mister Sinister

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Maggott!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 295 – The Nuclear Naked

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Hey, ‘dere. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)
This, but with a hawk. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)
Seriously, why the visor? (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)
He pulls this look off alarmingly well. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)
SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU IS HERE TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)
“Just a sec, I gotta go find the Power Glove.” (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)
This torso is unacceptable. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #1)
In an homage, obviously. Dang, Jubes. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #2)
BUT, WAIT! THERE’S MORE! (Gambit and the X-Ternals #2)
“Just us, and a bunch of chickens. It got weird fast.” (Gambit and the X-Ternals #2)
Y E S (Gambit and the X-Ternals #2)
I maintain that everything is better if his name is pronounced “Jeff.” (Gambit and the X-Ternals #3)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (Gambit and the X-Ternals #3)
Jeff has no patience for events. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #3)
Oh, c’mon. I bet he’s got a ton of cool stolen stuff, too. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #3)
Welcome to the Hall of Tautology. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #4)
It’s okay, but it’s no X-Men #41… (Gambit and the X-Ternals #4)
Well, fuck. (Gambit and the X-Ternals #4)
The Nuclear Naked (reconstruction).
NEXT EPISODE: “Amazing” may be a bit of a stretch.

LINKS & FURTHER INVENTIONS:

 

295 – The Nuclear Naked

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which this episode may or may not be a temporal aberration; Gambit is bad at marketing; Jubilee’s sixth birthday was probably worse than yours; Earth-295’s chronology doesn’t make that much more sense than 616’s; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau wears this timeline well; Rictor makes a terrible Javert; Jubilee has no time for your makeouts; superheroes are basically preschoolers; there is only one Jahf; babies are bad at stealing; and Apocalypse is not a tactician.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Magneto got his own country
  • A numerical convergence
  • Earth-295
  • Gambit and the X-Ternals #1-4
  • X-Ternals
  • The human resistance
  • The Temple of Human Redress
  • A terrible way to celebrate your birthday
  • Lila Cheney of Earth-295
  • The Nuclear Naked
  • Super Doctor Astronaut (mermaid) Peter Corbeau of Earth-295
  • Julio Richter (Earth-295)
  • Mudir
  • Homage
  • Cross-timeline vocabulary
  • Cosmic peril
  • The state of the Shi’ar Empire in Earth-295
  • The Starjammers of Earth-295
  • Varyingly versatile energy absorption
  • Jahf
  • An exchange
  • Some fancy sewers
  • Guido Carosella’s devil’s bargains
  • Earth-295… IN SPACE
  • The nominal justification for Apocalypse’s society
  • Which Apocalypse is currently running around Earth-616

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk!

NEXT EPISODE: “Amazing” might be pushing it.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 283 – Legion Quest Quest

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
So, that’s happening.
This cover has me thinking again about where she gets the skulls for her belt. (X-Factor #108)
No man has ever looked more like an action figure than Nick Fury does in this panel. (X-Factor #108)
The best Looney Toons reference in a superhero comic remains Animal Man #5, but this’ll do for now. (X-Factor #108)
Val X-Plains Legion. (X-Factor #108)
Hey, Forge? Fuck you. (X-Factor #108)
I mean, kinda. (X-Factor #109)
And yet, somehow, I’m not reassured. (X-Factor #109)
Dang, this would be a useful skill. (X-Factor #109)
And now for something completely different! (X-Factor #110)
IS it a mustache? Or does his nose just end in some kind of fibrous feelers or baleen? (X-Factor #110)
LILA 4-EVER (X-Factor #110)
I love that she just has a massive freaking treasure vault full of loose doubloons. WHO DOES THAT? (X-Factor #110)
They’re jerks, but they’re well-dressed jerks. (X-Factor #111)
Live your dreams, happy sloth man from space. (X-Factor #111)
He’ll be fine! (X-Factor #111)
…wait, no, belay that. (X-Factor #111)
But it’s okay, because the universe is ending! (X-Factor #111)
NEXT EPISODE: Chip Zdarsky!

LINKS & FURTHER SPIN-OFFS

  • WHOA DANG JAY IS WRITING A CYCLOPS ONE-SHOT! It is called X-Men Marvels Snapshot #1, or possibly Marvel Snapshots: X-Men #1; but either way, you can read more about it here and find preorder information here.
  • Speaking of things Jay writes, if you didn’t get enough Lila Cheney in this week’s episode, she’s stealing hearts and valuables all over Episode 8 of Thor: Metal Gods!
  • We talked a lot about Legion and the ways his powers intersect with mental illness in Episode 44 – Assembling Legion, feat. Si Spurrier.
  • Here is some context for Jay’s joke about Autism Speaks. (If you’re looking for an organization to support that actually helps and amplifies the voices of Autistic folks, we like the Autistic Self Advocacy Network.)

283 – Legion Quest Quest

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay is writing a Cyclops one-shot; It is honestly truly almost Legion Quest; Mystique plays the long game; sometimes filler is a good thing; Havok is a geophysicist, not a geographer; Lila definitely stole it; and more stories should be set in space junkyards.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Betsy Braddock got her original body back
  • Marvel Snapshots: X-Men
  • The lead-up to Legion Quest
  • X-Factor #108-111
  • Mystique’s skill set
  • Legion (David Haller) (more) (again)
  • Freedom Force
  • The most powerful of devices
  • A dream about a dream
  • An intersection of unreliable narrators
  • The narrative justification for Legion Quest
  • A rock monster
  • Jornick
  • Lila Cheney (more) (again)
  • A Kurt Vonnegut reference
  • The K’Lanti
  • A space junkyard
  • The end of X-Factor’s second iconic era
  • Our favorite male/female X-friendships
  • Pros and cons of line cohesiveness

NEXT EPISODE: Chip Zdarsky!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 221 – Better Than LEGO

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Bella, as seen on FaceTime between rounds of headbutting the phone.
The late, great, immensely fluffy Buzz Lightyear.
What, you thought this whole thing was just gonna be photos of cats? (Sorry) (X-Force #20)
Whoops. (X-Force #20)
That hair, though! Why, Shatterstar? WHY? (X-Force #20)
Those spacesuits look incredibly cumbersome. (X-Force #20)
You never forget your favorite ship. (X-Force #20)
That is a GREAT use of a spread. (X-Force #20)
X-Force really only has the one setting. (X-Force #21)
Aw. AW. (X-Force #21)
AWWWWWWWWW (X-Force #21)
“THE TEETH COMMAND IT!” (X-Force #21)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (X-Force #21)
“The guns were inside you all along!” (X-Force #22)
Well, then. (X-Force #22)
But he looks so happy about it! (X-Force #22)
I was gonna make a callback to that one tangent about how Cable probably carries a bunch of tampons because they are useful and he seems like the kind of dude who has a good attitude about menstruation, but it seemed too forced. (X-Force #22)
This is both excessive and silly, Gideon. (X-Force #22)
“Am I forever damned to eat crackers sideways?!” (X-Force #23)
Look at him! He’s just propped up in the corner! (X-Force #23)
OH, SNAP! (X-Force #23)
I’m still kind of peeved that this isn’t spelled out in Sam’s accent. It just feels wrong like this. (X-Force #23)
NEXT EPISODE: Psylocke vs. Revanche!

LINKS & FURTHER MONSTROSITIES:

221 – Better Than LEGO

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles stops worrying and learns to love X-Force; you should absolutely not google the phrase “face jam”; the kids take a field trip to Graymalkin; Jay reverse-engineers Shatterstar’s hair; Donald Pierce gets a new job; Sam Guthrie is the most trustworthy man in the Marvel Universe; Cable is your guns grandma; Professor earns its name; X-Force really only has one setting; and not every Sluggo is lit.

X-PLAINED:

  • A bunch of stuff Quicksilver did
  • Several cats
  • X-Force #20-23
  • The Externals (more) (again)
  • A deeply unlikely hairstyle
  • Graymalkin / Ship / Professor
  • A somewhat one-sided reunion
  • Yahoos
  • Inaccurate arithmetic
  • Why Feral sounds like that
  • Neither Tom, Dick, nor Harry
  • War Machine (James Rhodes)
  • Salvage
  • Sam Guthrie’s long trail of dead father figures
  • Shatterstar
  • How to fight an External
  • The seventh plague
  • What Domino’s been up to
  • Hammer’s mom
  • Tigerstryke (more) (again)
  • Sluggo (but not that Sluggo)
  • Learning to appreciate the ’90s

NEXT EPISODE: Psylocke Vs. Revanche!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 212 – Drumbeats of Despair

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
(Actually, it’s part of a triptych! Here are all three, together at last!)
Damnit, Stryfe. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Ew. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Including this entirely for Archangel’s epic grumpy face. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Alas, the podcast JY & Miles X-Plain the X-Men won’t exist for another 23 years. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Say what you will about Scott and Jean, but they’re aware of their own cliches. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Of course. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
The number of unsettling ways in which X-artists can mess up drawing babies never ceases to impress. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
“Also, sorry ’bout your table.” (Uncanny X-Men #296)
“Remember,” said the editor, “Every comic is somebody’s first!” (X-Factor #86)
Seriously, though, that could not get more Patrick Nagel if Patrick Nagel had drawn it. (X-Factor #86)
“AND I’LL BE THE HEAD!” (X-Factor #86)
THIS. PAGE. (X-Factor #86)
No, not particularly. (X-Factor #86)
Seriously: Ew. (X-Factor #86)
“Eh, I got nowhere else to be.” (X-Factor #86)
They’re so enormous and heavily armed! (X-Men #16)
Aw, man, this is a really good heroic moment. (X-Men #16)
WHOOPS. (X-Men #16)
Well, that’s portentous. (X-Men #16)
Stryfe’s tirades remain an impressive mix of incredibly specific and frustratingly vague. (X-Force #18)
Possibly the most Stryfe line of the entire event. (X-Force #18)
Dang, Cable. (X-Force #18)
“Like, organs and stuff.” (X-Force #18)
I’d like to think that Stryfe is angriest about the pun. (X-Force #18)
SPOILER: He’ll be okay, at least by Cable standards. (X-Force #18)
Maybe it’s a universal remote! SERIOUSLY, CYCLOPS, I KNOW YOU WERE RECENTLY DEPRIVED OF OXYGEN, BUT IT’S VERY CLEARLY A DETONATOR. (X-Force #18)
Ouch. (X-Force #18)
NEXT EPISODE: Live from FlameCon, featuring Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams!

LINKS & FURTHER MISHAPS:

212 – Drumbeats of Despair: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 3 or 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which nobody but Stryfe’s diary understands him; Apocalypse is the best at what he does (and what he does is remarkably versatile); Scott and Jean weaponize their clichés; Jae Lee does his best Patrick Nagel; Apocalypse is poisonous; Cable goes full T-800; nothing good ever happens to Cyclops on the moon; Stryfe dies as passive-aggressively as he lived; and X-Cutioner’s Song finally concludes.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Cable dies
  • The Story So Far
  • Still more trading-card taxonomy
  • Uncanny X-Men #296
  • X-Factor #86
  • X-Men #16
  • X-Force #18
  • An AU we’d like to read
  • The not-Stüssy S
  • How to effectively reference X-Men #137
  • A decoy baby
  • An abortive escape
  • Moon gravity
  • Revelatory vandalism
  • A trip to the moon
  • A probably excessive number of hawk facts
  • Various daring rescues
  • How to kill time in space
  • Cathexes
  • A very fancy moon base
  • The cavalry, kind of
  • Stryfe vs. Cable
  • An X-Cellent epilogue
  • Several Silent Hill 2 references
  • Stryfe’s Legacy
  • Pawnee, Indiana vs. Marvel
  • Sexy high-security prisons of the future

NEXT EPISODE: Live from FlameCon, featuring Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams!

Special thanks to Matt for the subject of this episode’s cold open; and to the Protomen for use of their cover of “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)