Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

387 – You’ve Got Vid-Mail

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Colossus is good at friendship; nobody notices when Amanda Sefton disappears; evil peaked in the disco era; and Pete Wisdom had hot claws before it was cool.


  • Fun times on Mount Wundagore
  • Excalibur #111-113
  • Rob Stotz
  • Brooding
  • Friendship
  • Rory Campbell (again)
  • The return of Sebastian Shaw
  • MIS departments
  • Two versions of the same conversation
  • A palette-swapped wardrobe
  • Invincible Head Technique
  • A polite murderer
  • Ogun, again
  • A brief possession
  • Mount Wundagore
  • Bova
  • Sir Ram
  • Ursula
  • Lord Gator
  • The Knights of Wundagore
  • Ace Duck
  • The High Evolutionary
  • Artistic turnover
  • A kiss
  • Were-girlfriends
  • A sin-filled and disreputable club
  • “Je Suis Rick Springfield”
  • Storylines we’d like to see from bystanders’ perspectives
  • Professor X’s crush on Marvel Girl


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  1. I haven’t listened to the episode yet so I’ll probably post again later but I just wanted to point out that “hot knives” were never cool. I’m sure you cover it but, if anything, Wolverine just showed how stupid they really were. Though I will give Wisdom props for going there first.

  2. Once again I find that I must defend my honor against you preening podcasters!

    Obviously I am not around, I am too busy getting all the sex! Why, I can’t keep myself from getting it. So, I do indeed know all about the sex and how it is accomplished and I…

    I’m sorry? Could you repeat that? Did I put my what into her WHAT?!?

    Oh, I see, you’re trying to trick me into revealing that I do not know how to do the sex. Even I know that that’s not how you do it. How does one even go about putting a rooster into her cat? What possible pleasure could be found from that? I’ve come to learn that most partners are not okay with animal cruelty.

    Where was I? Ah, yes, I will be out for a while longer while I search for the meaning of se.. er, life. Yes, life.

  3. I think that I’ve stated before that I stopped reading Excalibur and X-Factor shortly after Onslaught. Mostly because they just didn’t feel vital to the line and I had to cut back. The fact that neither title participated in Operation: Zero Tolerance certainly didn’t help to change that perception.

    But these actually sound interesting and Ilike the ongoing narrative style versus the modular story arcs so I may need to check these out.

    I’m wondering how they decided to use Excalibur to launch three other projects? If memory serves, this was the lowest selling X-Titles at the time.

    I think it would be neat to see more Marvels Snapshots aimed at some of the big X-Men stories. It would be great if they could get Ann Nocenti to write one for Onslaught. Her Daredevil Fall of the Mutants tie-in remains a great example of street level views during these massive events.

  4. This was another fun episode. I will have to seek these issues out because I LOVE that Quicksilver series and had no idea that it had gotten a prelude here. (I keep hoping that some Krakoa story would deal with the fact that Exodus was re-connect into having resurrection powers there, because the writers were told not to make new Acolytes and given a list with dead people on it)

  5. I think the fact that Rory’s swanky new outfit seems to be in the same colours and style as Ahab’s outfit in his various appearances is foreshadowing that he’s taken another step down the bad timeline, which given it was dealing with Sebastian Shaw, was pretty much a given.

    I do love the absurdity of the Knights of Wundagore, so I was disappointed that they were wiped out by the High Evolutionary a few years back in one of the more recent New Warriors series. I hope they return through… well, actually I don’t care HOW.

    Might the “From a basic POV” also include Kurt Busiek’s classic “Marvels” series, which is a “normal” human photographer dealing with the cosmic weirdness of the MU?

  6. I entirely skipped your Crimson Dawn stuff, agreed on it being boring. Happy to be back!

    Moira is human at this point at a meta level so she’s human in this story as far as I see it, I think the big thing to remember about comics is how flexible history and realty are and how (for better or worse) what was objectively true at this point in time won’t be true later. Now watch me say this and yell later about retcons I hate 8)

    I feel like Donald Pierce and Rory need to have it out over who gets to hate mutants over losing their limbs.

    “At least he’ll never pull an Oedipus” I should not have laughed as much as I did at that.

    Shaw is my FAVE villain, but I also adore Shinobi too! AND OH MY GOD I LOVE UR THEORY ABOUT WHERE HE IS

    I LOVE BOVA SO MUCH I LOVE HER SHES SO SWEET AND DARLING love the Knights of Wundagore in general, my faves are Ursula, Lady Vermin, and Churchill!

    SDFAJSJ THEY JUST GET TELEPORTED TO PARiS THAT’S HiLARiOUS and yes love the Quicksilver series too!

    OMG THE RETURN OF THE PROLETARIAT?? You know what—he needs to fight Shaw. Communist vs Capitalist!

    Really good point about art making books feel consistent as much as writing!

    Jay, I wanna hear more about your story idea!! Also, Miles, was ready to hate yours, ended up loving it.

    Yeah the Xavier and Jean thing one of things I’m just like “didn’t happen, ignorng it, never come back to it”

  7. Key ORIGIN pages, of Scarlet Witch & Quicksilver: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1vkeFo6kb00e-kP_PcrIwXQQD7LleiYiT?usp=sharing

    What the flying-fuck is cunnilingus? Use normal words.

    B O V A! We need a Bova Solo movie.

    In all fairness….Megan IS a little minx.

    You just KNOW the High Evolutionary is doing weird sex-stuff with all those animal people, @ night in that castle, too. Just-to-be-assumed, goes-without-saying, type of thing.

    Maybe if people don’t want their diaries read, people should stop writing out their life and thoughts in a book and leaving it out for people to find!

    There is an X-Pod crossover event going on here. On the latest episode (Quicksilver) of Cerebro, they’re talking aboot the same type of X-Stuff.

  8. On the subject of were-girlfriends, while the prefix wer or were has come to take on the meaning of “person who shifts into something” what it actually means “male” so a werewolf is a manwolf, which the transformation being implied. Thus a were-girlfriend is a male girlfriend.
    On a related note, in that same linguistic era, wif meant “female/ a lady” and “man” was gender neutral meaning the species as a whole, and it and the great vowel shift are where we get the modern word woman from.

    Regarding Rathskellers, there probably are a bunch of clubs with that name, since the name literally means “council cellar” and a ton of pubs and restaurants use the name. An edgy club using it ironically would not surprise me in the slightest

    1. The Discworld has the “Rats Chamber” in Ankh Morpork, a council chamber where the decorater didn’t quite understand the translation of Rathskellers, or possibly understood it VERY well, and as a result, he has a unique fresco of dancing rats on the ceiling, rat wall paper, rat carpet, and so on. The general effect is that after ten minutes in there, you feel the need to shower as your skin is crawling reflexively

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