Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Category: Uncategorized

HAWK TALK – Wizards

18 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Google Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | RSS

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about wizards.

Topics, roughly:

  • Fantasy wizards
  • Space wizards
  • Beards and wizards and gender
  • Vancian spellcasting
  • Wizard taxonomy
  • The Baal Shem
  • Book learnin’
  • Towers and Discworld wizards
  • Dragonlance wizards
  • Tolkien wizards
  • Iceman with a wizard beard
  • Which animals make the best wizards
  • Magic: the Gathering
  • Our wizardy D&D characters

HAWK TALK – Doctor Internet

17 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Google Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | RSS

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about the Internet.

Topics, roughly:

  • Blazing fast 28.8 Kbps dial-up
  • AOL CDs
  • Final Fantasy, MIDI-style
  • Angelfire vs. Carrd
  • The Gaming Intelligence Agency
  • The Brunching Shuttlecocks
  • The finest memes of the early 2000s
  • Chaos
  • Social media, as explained by Jay
  • Social media, as baffles Miles
  • Podcasts vs. the Internet

As Mentioned in Episode 297 – Blood Is Compulsory

Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
We were not nearly that ripped when we were 17. Or that telekinetic, I guess. (X-Man #1)
We were not nearly that ripped when we were 17. Or that telekinetic, I guess. (X-Man #1)
As entertaining as it is to imagine him with Schwarzenegger's accent, I guess Cyclops is more John Connor than he is the T-800. (X-Man #1)
As entertaining as it is to imagine him with Schwarzenegger’s accent, I guess Cyclops is more John Connor than he is the T-800. (X-Man #1)
What I wouldn't give for these guys to have their own ongoing comic... (X-Man #1)
What I wouldn’t give for these guys to have their own ongoing comic… (X-Man #1)
I mean, seriously! How great would it be? Half revolutionary, half thespian, all delightful! (X-Man #1)
I mean, seriously! How great would it be? Half revolutionary, half thespian, all delightful! (X-Man #1)
Black Tom Cassidy's hair went white the day he lost his shillelagh. (X-Man #1)
Black Tom Cassidy’s hair went white the day he lost his shillelagh. (X-Man #1)
Characters who need their own book, figure 3. (X-Man #1)
Characters who need their own book, figure 3. (X-Man #1)
IS YOUR NAME OMEGA BLUE, ARKADY? NO IT IS NOT! (X-Man #2)
IS YOUR NAME OMEGA BLUE, ARKADY? NO IT IS NOT! (X-Man #2)
This is the Earth-295 equivalent of playing catch. (X-Man #2)
This is the Earth-295 equivalent of playing catch. (X-Man #2)
Sunspot would be proud. (And god damn, Steve Skroce is good at drawing telekinesis.) (X-Man #2)
Sunspot would be proud. (And god damn, Steve Skroce is good at drawing telekinesis.) (X-Man #2)
Come on, Forge... How could you not trust a guy with a smile that big and a forehead diamond that he assures you is merely a fashion statement? (X-Man #2)
Come on, Forge… How could you not trust a guy with a smile that big and a forehead diamond that he assures you is merely a fashion statement? (X-Man #2)
Nightmare factory? Heavy metal album cover? Why not both? (X-Man #2)
Nightmare factory? Heavy metal album cover? Why not both? (X-Man #2)
Butter Rum of Earth-295 does not approve. (X-Man #2)
Butter Rum of Earth-295 does not approve. (X-Man #2)
The best-dressed D&D party of the Age of Apocalypse. (X-Man #3)
The best-dressed D&D party of the Age of Apocalypse. (X-Man #3)
Whoa, Jason - maybe dial it back a little? (X-Man #3)
Whoa, Jason – maybe dial it back a little? (X-Man #3)
Schlonk? (X-Man #3)
Schlonk? (X-Man #3)
Steve Skroce, making psychic powers look amazing since 1993. (Anyone remember Ectokid?) (X-Man #3)
Steve Skroce, making psychic powers look amazing since 1993. (Anyone remember Ectokid?) (X-Man #3)
I'm so glad they get to have this before everything goes to hell. (X-Man #3)
I’m so glad they get to have this before everything goes to hell. (X-Man #3)
I'm not psychically crying you're psychically crying (X-Man #3)
I’m not psychically crying you’re psychically crying (X-Man #3)
Jeph Loeb gets Sinister. (X-Man #4)
Jeph Loeb gets Sinister. (X-Man #4)
Does Mister Sinister practice his smug smiles in the mirror for moments like these? I mean, obviously he does, but like, for how long? (X-Man #4)
Does Mister Sinister practice his smug smiles in the mirror for moments like these? I mean, obviously he does, but like, for how long? (X-Man #4)
pterodactylwithapulserifle.tumblr.com (X-Man #4)
pterodactylwithapulserifle.tumblr.com (X-Man #4)
"To die will be an awfully big adventure." (X-Man #4)
“To die will be an awfully big adventure.” (X-Man #4)
"Their eyes locked through the hole they'd smashed through the wall, and though they'd never truly met, they knew what they were: family." (X-Man #4)
“Their eyes locked through the hole they’d smashed through the wall, and though they’d never truly met, they knew what they were: family.” (X-Man #4)
OBSCENE MONUMENT. (X-Man #4)
OBSCENE MONUMENT. (X-Man #4)
Hey, it's Nate's early, even more Dune-like design! (X-Men Collector's Preview #1)
Hey, it’s Nate’s early, even more Dune-like design! (X-Men Collector’s Preview #1)
NEXT TIME: Being Human.
NEXT TIME: Being Human.

As Mentioned in Episode 195 – Johnny Got His Robot Arm

Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
LOOK AT ALL THOSE POUCHES. (X-Force #8)
LOOK AT ALL THOSE POUCHES. (X-Force #8)
And now for something completely different. (X-Force #8)
And now for something completely different. (X-Force #8)
Fun fact: You can drop this dialogue into almost any panel involving Cable and at least one other character, and it'll still work. (X-Force #8)
Fun fact: You can drop this dialogue into almost any panel involving Cable and at least one other character, and it’ll still work. (X-Force #8)
On one hand: Mignola is great. On the other hand: I have some questions about the decision to just straight-up draw Garrison Kane as Marlon Brando. (X-Force #8)
On one hand: Mignola is great. On the other hand: I have some questions about the decision to just straight-up draw Garrison Kane as Marlon Brando. (X-Force #8)
Aw, A.I.M., you wacky kids. (X-Force #8)
Aw, A.I.M., you wacky kids. (X-Force #8)
Cable's sense of drama is ON POINT. (X-Force #8)
Cable’s sense of drama is ON POINT. (X-Force #8)
Domino is pretty genre-aware. (X-Force #9)
Domino is pretty genre-aware. (X-Force #9)
Not gonna lie: I dig Liefeld's take on Blob. (X-Force #9)
Not gonna lie: I dig Liefeld’s take on Blob. (X-Force #9)
If you weren't imagining Feral's line in the voice of a 10-year-old Danny Tamberelli, congratulations: you are now. (X-Force #9)
If you weren’t imagining Feral’s line in the voice of a 10-year-old Danny Tamberelli, congratulations: you are now. (X-Force #9)
'Kay. (X-Force #9)
‘Kay. (X-Force #9)
And that, kids, is why balloon placements matter. (I mean, there are a lot of other reasons, too. But this is one of them.) (X-Force #9)
And that, kids, is why balloon placements matter. (I mean, there are a lot of other reasons, too. But this is one of them.) (X-Force #9)
Stryfe's armor doesn't just have nipples. Stryfe's armor has FOUR nipples. (X-Force #10)
Stryfe’s armor doesn’t just have nipples. Stryfe’s armor has FOUR nipples. (X-Force #10)
Nothing is okay about this picture. (X-Force #10)
Nothing is okay about this picture. (X-Force #10)
Speaking of likenesses, remember the time Cannonball was David Bowie? (X-Force #10)
Speaking of likenesses, remember the time Cannonball was David Bowie? (X-Force #10)
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. the Anti-Phoenix!
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. the Anti-Phoenix!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

As Mentioned in Episode 189 – How Do You Solve a Problem Like Nate Summers?

2 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

A day in the life of a never-nude pterosaur. (X-Force #5)
A day in the life of a never-nude pterosaur. (X-Force #5)
That's a lot of teeth, Toad. (X-Force #5)
That’s a lot of teeth, Toad. (X-Force #5)
Somewhere, Bruce Banner has just felt a great disturbance in the force. (X-Force #5)
Somewhere, Bruce Banner has just felt a great disturbance in the force. (X-Force #5)
I keep changing my mind about my favorite part of this page. Right now, it's Zero mugging facelessly at the reader. (X-Force #6)
I keep changing my mind about my favorite part of this page. Right now, it’s Zero mugging facelessly at the reader. (X-Force #6)
Seriously, why does the Brotherhood have so many teeth? Are they EVIL TEETH? (X-Force #6)
Seriously, why does the Brotherhood have so many teeth? Are they EVIL TEETH? (X-Force #6)
Genuinely unsure whether Toad is supposed to have two or three rows of teeth in this one. (X-Force #6)
Genuinely unsure whether Toad is supposed to have two or three rows of teeth in this one. (X-Force #6)
That's a lot of bathtub. (X-Force #6)
That’s a lot of bathtub. (X-Force #6)
My bad--on second look, they are not actually making PB&Js. (X-Force #6)
My bad–on second look, they are not actually making PB&Js. (X-Force #6)
If I have to keep seeing these teeth, so do you. (X-Force #7)
If I have to keep seeing these teeth, so do you. (X-Force #7)
t e e e e e e e e e e e e t h (X-Force #7)
t e e e e e e e e e e e e t h (X-Force #7)
Feral vs. Thornn. (X-Force #7)
Feral vs. Thornn. (X-Force #7)
It's okay. He'll be back. And possibly immortal? It's complicated. (X-Force #7)
It’s okay. He’ll be back. And possibly immortal? It’s complicated. (X-Force #7)
NEXT EPISODE: BLOODLUST!
NEXT EPISODE: BLOODLUST!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

Site maintenance!

One comment

242722-159098-lockheed

Hello, all!

We’ll be switching to a new hosting provider tomorrow (11/30/16) evening to help our site and podcast feed better survive the onslaught of new-episode downloads each week.

The upside: new episodes will download more quickly and reliably!

The downside: because DNS changes can take some time to go through, our site and feed will be down for a while. Hopefully it’ll just be a few hours, but it could theoretically be up to two days.

So: if you plan on listening to episodes between Wednesday and Friday nights, now’s the time to download them!

-Miles

As Mentioned in Episode 122 – Boom Boom von Doom and the Ontology of Monsters

3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
"Hey, let's play Final Fantasy! You bring the drama and I'll bring the fetch quest!" (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
“Hey, let’s play Final Fantasy! You bring the drama and I’ll bring the fetch quest!” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
Imagine a world where Boomslang showed up in Giant-Size X-Men #1 instead of Wolverine. IMAGINE IT. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
Imagine a world where Boomslang showed up in Giant-Size X-Men #1 instead of Wolverine. IMAGINE IT. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
"Brightly-colored pureed veggies - my only weakness!" (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
“Brightly-colored pureed veggies – my only weakness!” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
This is the happiest Longshot will ever be. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
This is the happiest Longshot will ever be. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
Namorita's pretty awesome, but... why would you wear that underwater? (New Mutants Annual #5)
Namorita’s pretty awesome, but… why would you wear that underwater? (New Mutants Annual #5)
Please note Undertow's tastefully covered nipples. He's a gentleman. (New Mutants Annual #5)
Please note Undertow’s tastefully covered nipples. He’s a gentleman. (New Mutants Annual #5)
I believe the sound effect you're looking for is TOOT, Ghaur. Are you even trying? (New Mutants Annual #5)
I believe the sound effect you’re looking for is TOOT, Ghaur. Are you even trying? (New Mutants Annual #5)
I'll give you this, Rob: you draw a pretty awesome weird-Fizzgig-monster-thing. (New Mutants Annual #5)
I’ll give you this, Rob: you draw a pretty awesome weird-Fizzgig-monster-thing. (New Mutants Annual #5)
In which John Byrne's writing and art are two great tastes that taste great together. (X-Factor Annual #4)
In which John Byrne’s writing and art are two great tastes that taste great together. (X-Factor Annual #4)
Come on, Attuma - didn't you read Avengers #263 and Fantastic Four #286? (X-Factor Annual #4)
Come on, Attuma – didn’t you read Avengers #263 and Fantastic Four #286? (X-Factor Annual #4)
"No time to process your deep-seated trauma at watching half your friends die - time to punch my dad!" (X-Factor Annual #4)
“No time to process your deep-seated trauma at watching half your friends die – time to punch my dad!” (X-Factor Annual #4)
FUCK YEAH JEAN GREY (X-Factor Annual #4)
FUCK YEAH JEAN GREY (X-Factor Annual #4)
I mean, there's really no subtlety here. It's just straight-up the Blues Brothers. (X-Factor Annual #4)
I mean, there’s really no subtlety here. It’s just straight-up the Blues Brothers. (X-Factor Annual #4)
Hey, it's that guy! (X-Factor Annual #4)
Hey, it’s that guy! (X-Factor Annual #4)
I mean, this panel is fine, but it mainly makes me miss Marc Silvestri. (X-Factor Annual #4)
I mean, this panel is fine, but it mainly makes me miss Marc Silvestri. (X-Factor Annual #4)
Watch out for Magneto's brain-hat! (X-Factor Annual #4)
Watch out for Magneto’s brain-hat! (X-Factor Annual #4)
And also watch out for Doom's brain-face! (X-Factor Annual #4)
And also watch out for Doom’s brain-face! (X-Factor Annual #4)
Magneto's backstory: more tragedy than any three Lifetime movies. (Seriously, though - poor guy.) (X-Factor Annual #4)
Magneto’s backstory: more tragedy than any three Lifetime movies. (Seriously, though – poor guy.) (X-Factor Annual #4)
Everything about Boom Boom and Rictor's body language is perfect. Jon Bogdanove, please draw both of them forever. (New Mutants Annual #5)
Everything about Boom Boom and Rictor’s body language is perfect. Jon Bogdanove, please draw both of them forever. (New Mutants Annual #5)
Tabitha Smith, living cartoon. (New Mutants Annual #5)
Tabitha Smith, living cartoon. (New Mutants Annual #5)
No caption can add to the perfection that is this sequence. (New Mutants Annual #5)
No caption can add to the perfection that is this sequence. (New Mutants Annual #5)
Do you know how many coats it takes to get adamantium to hold color? (New Mutants Annual #5)
Do you know how many coats it takes to get adamantium to hold color? (New Mutants Annual #5)
This narration? Yeah, the entire story's like this. And it is PERFECT. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
This narration? Yeah, the entire story’s like this. And it is PERFECT. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
Amid all the motormouth bluster, Jubilee basically just wants friends. Aww, kid. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
Amid all the motormouth bluster, Jubilee basically just wants friends. Aww, kid. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
The origin of both the best costume parts Jubilee didn't keep and the best part she did. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
The origin of both the best costume parts Jubilee didn’t keep and the best part she did. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
Next time: the X-Babies! (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
Next time: the X-Babies! (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

As Mentioned in Episode 119 – Red Night of the Soul (Feat. Elisabeth Allie)

One comment

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
"So you're saying she's definitely not my actual, literal grandmother, right? Cool; glad we made that absolutely, incontrovertibly clear." (New Mutants #53)
“So you’re saying she’s definitely not my actual, literal grandmother, right? Cool; glad we made that absolutely, incontrovertibly clear.” (New Mutants #53)
Previously, on New Mutants... (New Mutants Forever #1)
Previously, on New Mutants… (New Mutants Forever #1)
"I mean, I know things are urgent what with the gunfight we're trying to stop, but those old outfits were so 1987." (New Mutants Forever #1)
“I mean, I know things are urgent what with the gunfight we’re trying to stop, but those old outfits were so 1987.” (New Mutants Forever #1)
Hela's presence makes any scene in which she appears at least 20% more epic than it would otherwise have been. I mean, damn - that hat, right? (New Mutants Forever #1)
Hela’s presence makes any scene in which she appears at least 20% more epic than it would otherwise have been. I mean, damn – that hat, right? (New Mutants Forever #1)
Remember when Magneto and the New Mutants were actually capable of completing a conversation without Sunspot throwing something? (New Mutants Forever #1)
Remember when Magneto and the New Mutants were actually capable of completing a conversation without Sunspot throwing something? (New Mutants Forever #1)
Absorbing that wretch's life-force also gave her a gift certificate to Frederick's of Hollywood. (New Mutants Forever #1)
Absorbing that wretch’s life-force also gave her a gift certificate to Frederick’s of Hollywood. (New Mutants Forever #1)
I personally think Warlock is hotter as a Sienkiewicz-style asymmetrical scribble-monster, but tastes vary. (New Mutants Forever #2)
I personally think Warlock is hotter as a Sienkiewicz-style asymmetrical scribble-monster, but tastes vary. (New Mutants Forever #2)
Roberto's pretty perfect, but what's up with Warlock's generic robot form? You're better than this, Warlock. (New Mutants Forever #2)
Roberto’s pretty perfect, but what’s up with Warlock’s generic robot form? You’re better than this, Warlock. (New Mutants Forever #2)
Nice visual continuity work, Al Rio. Seriously. (New Mutants Forever #2)
Nice visual continuity work, Al Rio. Seriously. (New Mutants Forever #2)
Okay, that's legitimately horrifying. It's a good thing nothing bad ever happened to Doug Ramsey in mainstream continuity. (New Mutants Forever #2)
Okay, that’s legitimately horrifying. It’s a good thing nothing bad ever happened to Doug Ramsey in mainstream continuity. (New Mutants Forever #2)
"Selene... What the hell are they wearing?" "I... I have no idea, kids." (New Mutants Forever #3)
“Selene… What the hell are they wearing?” “I… I have no idea, kids.” (New Mutants Forever #3)
This would be disturbing regardless, but Rio's rendition of Warlock as more purely mechanical makes his injuries that much more viscerally cringe-inducing. (New Mutants Forever #3)
This would be disturbing regardless, but Rio’s rendition of Warlock as more purely mechanical makes his injuries that much more viscerally cringe-inducing. (New Mutants Forever #3)
The art / dialogue disconnect here makes me giggle every time. (New Mutants Forever #3)
The art / dialogue disconnect here makes me giggle every time. (New Mutants Forever #3)
Limbo as we've never seen it. (New Mutants Forever #3)
Limbo as we’ve never seen it. (New Mutants Forever #3)
Red Skull, you are officially a terrible person. Ew. (New Mutants Forever #4)
Red Skull, you are officially a terrible person. Ew. (New Mutants Forever #4)
Okay, that's actually pretty awesome. A little silly, sure, but still pretty awesome. (New Mutants Forever #4)
Okay, that’s actually pretty awesome. A little silly, sure, but still pretty awesome. (New Mutants Forever #4)
I AM SO UNCOMFORTABLE RIGHT NOW (New Mutants Forever #4)
I AM SO UNCOMFORTABLE RIGHT NOW (New Mutants Forever #4)
Cool, Warlock got Muscular Augments and Grooved Spines! (New Mutants Forever #4)
Cool, Warlock got Muscular Augments and Grooved Spines! (New Mutants Forever #4)
Pathos, thy name is skullified-Doug-in-tighty-whities. (New Mutants Forever #4)
Pathos, thy name is skullified-Doug-in-tighty-whities. (New Mutants Forever #4)
Hey, Amara's not wearing her weird Nazi fetish outfit anymore! ...Oh, she's still mind-controlled. Damn. (New Mutants Forever #4)
Hey, Amara’s not wearing her weird Nazi fetish outfit anymore! …Oh, she’s still mind-controlled. Damn. (New Mutants Forever #4)
This battle sequence is rad, but I wish we could swap out a couple of those Nova Romans for Dani and Rahne. (New Mutants Forever #5)
This battle sequence is rad, but I wish we could swap out a couple of those Nova Romans for Dani and Rahne. (New Mutants Forever #5)
Eh, it's only a bullet to the head. She'll be fine by the next page. (New Mutants Forever #5)
Eh, it’s only a bullet to the head. She’ll be fine by the next page. (New Mutants Forever #5)
"I'll beat you with my fists and my knowledge of first century Roman political history!" (New Mutants Forever #5)
“I’ll beat you with my fists and my knowledge of first century Roman political history!” (New Mutants Forever #5)
Weirdly, the most perfectly on-model characters in New Mutants Forever aren't actually the New Mutants. (New Mutants Forever #5)
Weirdly, the most perfectly on-model characters in New Mutants Forever aren’t actually the New Mutants. (New Mutants Forever #5)
This was a really weird episode of House, MD. (New Mutants Forever #5)
This was a really weird episode of House, MD. (New Mutants Forever #5)
Next time: even more Nazis. (Excalibur #9)
Next time: even more Nazis. (Excalibur #9)

LINKS:

  • Check out guest host Elisabeth Allie’s blog!
  • And: check out the band she represents, the Doubleclicks: a nationally touring, Billboard charting pop band with a cello, a meowing cat keyboard, and songs about Dungeons and Dragons!