Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 403 – Sneaky-Peeky Stuff

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Not a single pouch! Being an intern sucks. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
How did they not hear that coming a mile away? (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
ASAB (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
A transom is a crossbar at the top of a doorframe that separates it from an above-door window. I had to look that up! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
Kitty Pryde is banned from half the department stores in the UK. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
Face ID was still working out the kinks in 1997. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
You can tell Rigby’s the love interest – look at that hair! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
This is pretty much what Miles’s day job looks like. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
“Type ‘cookie’, you idiot!” (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
AWOOOOOGA! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
I mean, Kitty’s had worse looks. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
Medication, lip gloss, spare underwear, dragon… Kitty just packed the basics. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)
Welp, I guess Logan’s new name on the podcast is Wooferino. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)
New Yorkers, amirite? (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)
“I feel like I’m going meshugge!” (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)
It’s a silly comic, but damn if the pacing isn’t genuinely effective. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)
“God, Dad! Knock before you come in! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)
Logan x-plains Kitty Pryde & Wolverine. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)
That’s handy work! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)
I kinda wish it was a Hello name is sticker instead. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)
Still less embarrassing than dating Pete Wisdom. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)
Well done, Ogun. You kept up the deception for almost five full seconds. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)
Did the Astral Plane used to be this cramped? (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)
Lockheed’s helping! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)
I… I mean… sure, fine. Let’s just go with it. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)
Every IT department has to deal with that user. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)
Spoiler: Ogun does not try. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)
NEXT TIME: Death’s Head II!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

  • We talked about Kitty and Ogun’s first meeting way back in Episode 28!

HAWK TALK – Sitcoms

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Tina Carleton of Welcome to Television talked about sitcoms!

HAWK TALK – Wizards

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about wizards.

Topics, roughly:

  • Fantasy wizards
  • Space wizards
  • Beards and wizards and gender
  • Vancian spellcasting
  • Wizard taxonomy
  • The Baal Shem
  • Book learnin’
  • Towers and Discworld wizards
  • Dragonlance wizards
  • Tolkien wizards
  • Iceman with a wizard beard
  • Which animals make the best wizards
  • Magic: the Gathering
  • Our wizardy D&D characters

HAWK TALK – Doctor Internet

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about the Internet.

Topics, roughly:

  • Blazing fast 28.8 Kbps dial-up
  • AOL CDs
  • Final Fantasy, MIDI-style
  • Angelfire vs. Carrd
  • The Gaming Intelligence Agency
  • The Brunching Shuttlecocks
  • The finest memes of the early 2000s
  • Chaos
  • Social media, as explained by Jay
  • Social media, as baffles Miles
  • Podcasts vs. the Internet

As Mentioned in Episode 297 – Blood Is Compulsory

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
We were not nearly that ripped when we were 17. Or that telekinetic, I guess. (X-Man #1)
As entertaining as it is to imagine him with Schwarzenegger’s accent, I guess Cyclops is more John Connor than he is the T-800. (X-Man #1)
What I wouldn’t give for these guys to have their own ongoing comic… (X-Man #1)
I mean, seriously! How great would it be? Half revolutionary, half thespian, all delightful! (X-Man #1)
Black Tom Cassidy’s hair went white the day he lost his shillelagh. (X-Man #1)
Characters who need their own book, figure 3. (X-Man #1)
IS YOUR NAME OMEGA BLUE, ARKADY? NO IT IS NOT! (X-Man #2)
This is the Earth-295 equivalent of playing catch. (X-Man #2)
Sunspot would be proud. (And god damn, Steve Skroce is good at drawing telekinesis.) (X-Man #2)
Come on, Forge… How could you not trust a guy with a smile that big and a forehead diamond that he assures you is merely a fashion statement? (X-Man #2)
Nightmare factory? Heavy metal album cover? Why not both? (X-Man #2)
Butter Rum of Earth-295 does not approve. (X-Man #2)
The best-dressed D&D party of the Age of Apocalypse. (X-Man #3)
Whoa, Jason – maybe dial it back a little? (X-Man #3)
Schlonk? (X-Man #3)
Steve Skroce, making psychic powers look amazing since 1993. (Anyone remember Ectokid?) (X-Man #3)
I’m so glad they get to have this before everything goes to hell. (X-Man #3)
I’m not psychically crying you’re psychically crying (X-Man #3)
Jeph Loeb gets Sinister. (X-Man #4)
Does Mister Sinister practice his smug smiles in the mirror for moments like these? I mean, obviously he does, but like, for how long? (X-Man #4)
pterodactylwithapulserifle.tumblr.com (X-Man #4)
“To die will be an awfully big adventure.” (X-Man #4)
“Their eyes locked through the hole they’d smashed through the wall, and though they’d never truly met, they knew what they were: family.” (X-Man #4)
OBSCENE MONUMENT. (X-Man #4)
Hey, it’s Nate’s early, even more Dune-like design! (X-Men Collector’s Preview #1)
NEXT TIME: Being Human.

As Mentioned in Episode 195 – Johnny Got His Robot Arm

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
LOOK AT ALL THOSE POUCHES. (X-Force #8)
And now for something completely different. (X-Force #8)
Fun fact: You can drop this dialogue into almost any panel involving Cable and at least one other character, and it’ll still work. (X-Force #8)
On one hand: Mignola is great. On the other hand: I have some questions about the decision to just straight-up draw Garrison Kane as Marlon Brando. (X-Force #8)
Aw, A.I.M., you wacky kids. (X-Force #8)
Cable’s sense of drama is ON POINT. (X-Force #8)
Domino is pretty genre-aware. (X-Force #9)
Not gonna lie: I dig Liefeld’s take on Blob. (X-Force #9)
If you weren’t imagining Feral’s line in the voice of a 10-year-old Danny Tamberelli, congratulations: you are now. (X-Force #9)
‘Kay. (X-Force #9)
And that, kids, is why balloon placements matter. (I mean, there are a lot of other reasons, too. But this is one of them.) (X-Force #9)
Stryfe’s armor doesn’t just have nipples. Stryfe’s armor has FOUR nipples. (X-Force #10)
Nothing is okay about this picture. (X-Force #10)
Speaking of likenesses, remember the time Cannonball was David Bowie? (X-Force #10)
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. the Anti-Phoenix!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

As Mentioned in Episode 189 – How Do You Solve a Problem Like Nate Summers?

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A day in the life of a never-nude pterosaur. (X-Force #5)
That’s a lot of teeth, Toad. (X-Force #5)
Somewhere, Bruce Banner has just felt a great disturbance in the force. (X-Force #5)
I keep changing my mind about my favorite part of this page. Right now, it’s Zero mugging facelessly at the reader. (X-Force #6)
Seriously, why does the Brotherhood have so many teeth? Are they EVIL TEETH? (X-Force #6)
Genuinely unsure whether Toad is supposed to have two or three rows of teeth in this one. (X-Force #6)
That’s a lot of bathtub. (X-Force #6)
My bad–on second look, they are not actually making PB&Js. (X-Force #6)
If I have to keep seeing these teeth, so do you. (X-Force #7)
t e e e e e e e e e e e e t h (X-Force #7)
Feral vs. Thornn. (X-Force #7)
It’s okay. He’ll be back. And possibly immortal? It’s complicated. (X-Force #7)
NEXT EPISODE: BLOODLUST!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

Site maintenance!

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242722-159098-lockheed

Hello, all!

We’ll be switching to a new hosting provider tomorrow (11/30/16) evening to help our site and podcast feed better survive the onslaught of new-episode downloads each week.

The upside: new episodes will download more quickly and reliably!

The downside: because DNS changes can take some time to go through, our site and feed will be down for a while. Hopefully it’ll just be a few hours, but it could theoretically be up to two days.

So: if you plan on listening to episodes between Wednesday and Friday nights, now’s the time to download them!

-Miles