Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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199 – Space, Geeks, and Gaveedra Seven

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Shattershot is definitely better than the Cold War; Beast X-plains the X-teams; Cyclops is a tired babysitter; sustenance is not frivolous; Jim Henson is the hero that Mojoworld needs; Shatterstar is not a great head of state; it’s hard to be Val Cooper; and Cable has definitely figured out how to take you (yes, YOU) out.

X-PLAINED:

  • Astra
  • Content-to-story ratio
  • The Mojoverse (more) (again)
  • Longshot
  • Shatterstar (Gaveedra Seven)
  • Spiral (Ricochet Rita)
  • Arize
  • X-Men Annual #1
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #16
  • X-Factor Annual #10
  • X-Force Annual #1
  • A pivotal battle
  • Mujahideen
  • A callback
  • Several denizens of Mojoworld
  • X-Team disambiguation
  • The Death Sponsors
  • A dubious solution to the Kobayashi Maru scenario
  • Whether Arize is a mutant
  • Telepathic favoritism
  • Spiral’s origin story
  • A new regime
  • Earth-84309
  • Powerpax (Frankie Power)
  • Darkchild
  • Cyberlock
  • A metasingularity
  • A large number of back-up features
  • The X-Men’s top ten enemies
  • Amalgam (but not that one)
  • Darick Robertson’s juvenilia
  • The return of Taki
  • The Cable Protocols
  • Brazilian Marvel characters
  • Our feelings about Laura Kinney’s backstory

NEXT EPISODE: Louise Simonson

CORRECTION: BonziBuddy was not released until 1999. We regret the error.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 199 – Space, Geeks, and Gaveedra Seven

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It’s weird, but it could be SO MUCH WEIRDER. (X-Men Annual #1)
These two really have their battle banter down to a science. (X-Men Annual #1)
Well, this is awkward in retrospect. (X-Men Annual #1)
Hi, Retrieval Team. (X-Men Annual #1)
Again: I want these characters to be SO MUCH WEIRDER. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)
Stop trying to make “bohunk” happen. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)
GOOD LORD JOE QUESADA DRAWS A TERRIFYING MOJO (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)
This comic does not include a countdown of enemies, but if it did, #1 would definitely be condiments. (X-Factor Annual #7)
This actually explains a depressing lot about Mojoworld. (X-Factor Annual #7)
SPIRAL IS SO COOL. (X-Factor Annual #7)
Spiral X-Plains Spiral, Part 1. (X-Factor Annual #7)
Spiral X-Plains Spiral, Part 2. (X-Factor Annual #7)
Okay, getting marginally weirder, but still not quite there. (X-Force Annual #1)
You can tell he’s a big deal now because he wears his hair down. (X-Force Annual #1)
I just realized that the good Spineless Ones are named after Borscht Belt comedians. (X-Force Annual #1)
Behind every Facebook meme about positivity is this panel. (X-Force Annual #1)
Powerpax! (X-Force Annual #1)
Darkchild! (X-Force Annual #1)
Banshee! (X-Force Annual #1)
Cyberlock! (X-Force Annual #1)
Sunspot, but with a mullet! (X-Force Annual #1)
You’d think a guy who grew up on a media-saturated world would know better than to trust an administrator in a fancy hat. (X-Force Annual #1)
Kill your television. (X-Force Annual #1)
I feel really good about the fact that Longshot aged into Estelle Getty. (X-Force Annual #1)
Ignore these blueprints; they will never be followed consistently. (X-Men Annual #1)
SELF-FRIEND (X-Men Annual #1)
Remember the good ol’ days, when comics NEVER dabbled in politics or even direct allegory? *snort* (X-Men Annual #1)
“I can also cross over with DC properties, but that’s not really gonna be on the table for a while.” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)
Val Cooper’s subconscious is an appropriately frightening place. (X-Factor Annual #7)
NOPE. (X-Factor Annual #7)
Taki! We missed you! (X-Force Annual #1)
We’re only posting one of the many pin-ups; but DANG, it’s a good one. (X-Force Annual #1)
NEXT EPISODE: Louise Simonson!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

145 – Remy and ‘Ro

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Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at RedBubble, or contact David to purchase the original!

In which Val Cooper remains the club queen of U.S. Intelligence; the Shadow King is a huge jerk; Storm is a badass at any age; Gambit gets off to a surprisingly good start; “flesh and spirit” is the new “body and soul”; and we are guardedly optimistic about an upcoming release.

X-PLAINED:
  • Unconventional evidence of nefarious influence
  • Uncanny X-Men #265-267
  • Storm’s early origins
  • The Shadow King
  • Deb Levin
  • A kind of pointless revenge plot
  • Trouble in space
  • A great deal of larceny
  • Counterintuitive costuming
  • The debut of Gambit
  • An unnecessarily complicated plan
  • Charm, and charm
  • Regrets
  • Our thoughts on the upcoming Legion series

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur meanders, with guest X-Pert Elisabeth Allie!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 165 – Pop Rocks

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Triple gatefold? That’s a lot of gatefold! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Oh, man, the Starjammers are so cool, even when they’re evil alien duplicates. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
And that was the end of Wolverine, forever. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Not gonna lie: there are a LOT of splash pages and spreads in this visual companion. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
So many reasons, Banshee. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
I mean, technically Wolverine just won back her throne, but, whatever. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Look at all those fancy X-Men! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Wolverine parties like a Robert E. Howard protagonist. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
I know this is supposed to be sinister, but it’s also kind of hilarious. (You gotta imagine the YOINK SFX in the second panel.) (Uncanny X-Men #275)
PROFESSOR XAVIER IS A JERK! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Another two-page spread? DON’T MIND IF I DO! (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Pop rocks! (Uncanny X-Men #276)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
I want to watch this movie. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
No, but seriously: Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Well, that got weird. Weirder. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Star Trek reference! Take a drink! Wait, no, that’s not a podcast game, that’s just Jay’s reading game. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Yep, it’s another two-page spread. Don’t blame us–blame Jim Lee! (Uncanny X-Men #277)
…well, that explains some things. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Oh, snap! (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Ooh, callback! Very clever, Gambit. Kinda creepy, but, y’know, clever. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Even when he’s a skrull, it’s pretty satisfying to watch Charles Xavier get punched. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
VAMP! (Uncanny X-Men #277)
NEXT EPISODE: Stealth at all times.

As Mentioned in Episode 178 – Giant-Size Special #6

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
The All-New, All-Yelling X-Men! (X-Men #1)
Say what you want about Jim Lee’s art, but his Magneto is GREAT. (X-Men #1)
You’d think S.H.I.E.L.D. would pay Nick Fury enough to buy a suit that fits. (X-Men #1)
Fun fact: almost every spot illustration of an X-Man that you’ve ever seen comes from this or the following issue. (X-Men #1)
We are worried about Psylocke. (X-Men #1)
CORRECTION: Gambit did not kiss Jean. He kissed a robot replica of Jean, which then exploded. We regret the error, but Gambit probably regrets it more. (X-Men #1)
LOOK AT THIS FASHION GOD. (X-Men #1)
“Also, one of them has an underscore in his Twitter handle.” (X-Men #1)
Magneto, master of text. (X-Men #1)
Another image from early in Lee’s tenure that shows up a lot in other publications. (X-Men #2)
Okay, NOW we get it: Nick Fury spent his entire suit budget on pouches. (X-Men #2)
Never not hilarious. (X-Men #2)
We’re just gonna let this page speak for itself. (X-Men #3)
Raise a glass. (X-Men #3)
NEXT EPISODE: Havok gets a job.

OUR PRODUCER MATT HUNTER IS A SUPER RAD DUDE! HERE IS WHERE YOU CAN FIND HIM ON THE INTERNET:


THE 2017 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE AT X-CELLENCE:

  • Best Writer: Charles Soule, for Astonishing X-Men
  • Best Artist: Alessandro Vitti, for Iceman
  • Best Colorist: Felipe Sobreiro, for Generation X
  • Best Ongoing Solo Series: Iceman
  • Best Ongoing Team Series: Generation X
  • Irene Adler Memorial Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Series: Storm, by Ta Nehisi Coates and Jen Bartel
  • How-Was-This-So-Good? Award for a Premise That Shouldn’t Have Worked But Did: “Weapons of Mutant Destruction” by Greg Pak
  • Cyclops Has A Good Day: Champions #12, for good friends being good friends.
  • So That Happened: Last page of Jean Grey #10
  • Nate Grey Award for Best Cross-Dimensional Import: Bloodstorm in X-Men: Blue
  • Coming Back Strong: Hope Summers in Jean Grey
  • Norman Osborne Award for Gratuitous Resurrection: Logan
  • Light of Our Life: Honey Badger
  • These Deep Cuts Form a Picture: Gifted
  • Best Non-X Marvel Title: Runaways by Rainbow Rowell and Kris Anka

Classic Corbeaus

  • Buried Treasure: “Weapon X,” as published in Marvel Comics Presents
  • You Tried: Chris Claremont, circa 1991
  • Why Havok Didn’t Finish His Dissertation This Year: He was busy being Magistrate on Genosha
  • Object Permanence Is Overrated Award for Inconsistent Corporeality: Amanda Sefton
  • Murder Rainbow Award for Most Entertainingly and Chromatically Redesigned Costumes: Late-run New Mutants
  • Lurking in the Wings Award: Guido Carosella
  • Sauron’s Jorts Award for Draculas Who Are Not Draculas but Try Real Hard: Crimson and the Blackbirds
  • Let Us Never Speak of This Again: Charles Xavier’s swimsuit area as distressingly rendered by Whilce Portacio
  • Major Christopher Summers Award for Most Awkward Family Reunion: Rachel Summers and Jean Grey in “Days of Future Present”
  • Kitty Pryde Sartorial Exception of Excellence: The Rocketeer ensemble from X-Men: True Friends
  • On-the-Nose Award for Effective Use of Heavy-Handed Metaphor: Genosha
  • Best Jacket Ever Award: Cyclops in X-Factor Forever
  • Erik the Red Award for Justifying the Existence of This Podcast: Jen Askani
  • Future Past Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Series Coverage: X-Factor

AND FINALLY:

  • Best Listeners of Any Podcast, Ever: YOU. Extra hard, this year.

178 – Giant-Size Special #6

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we enter a new era of X-Men; Magneto reluctantly returns to villainy; Jay tries to like X-Men volume 2; when in doubt, you should open your story with a space fight; Nick Fury has so many pouches; experimenting on babies unsurprisingly backfires; psychic powers are pink; Claremont deserved better; Producer Matt makes his on-air debut; and you (yes, you!) are once again the recipients of a Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Award for Excellence in X-Cellence.

X-PLAINED:

  • Loa
  • The 1991 relaunch of X-Men
  • X-Men vol. 2 #1-3
  • Chris Claremont’s departure from Marvel
  • X-Men vs. Uncanny X-Men
  • Blue Team
  • Gold Team
  • Why Magneto is emblematic of Claremont’s vision for the X-Men
  • Why there are so many copies of X-Men #1
  • How comics sales are counted
  • Our very different perspectives on X-Men #1
  • A space fight
  • Revision vs. reversion
  • What may or may not be in Nick Fury’s pouches
  • Daring loungewear worn well
  • Fabian Cortez
  • Flatscans
  • Disproportionate escalation
  • The Acolytes
  • Delgado, kind of, maybe
  • Several notable absences
  • The Magneto Protocols
  • That one time Magneto got turned into a baby
  • Some dubious science
  • A semi-invisible plane
  • Code Silver
  • Further miracles of magnetism
  • Producer Matt Hunter
  • Chiptunes
  • Podcasting about video games
  • The Fourth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
  • Best X-Toon holiday episodes

NEXT EPISODE: Havok gets a job!

Special thanks to Cordelia for her help on the episode opening!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 145 – Remy & ‘Ro

6 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at RedBubble, or contact David to purchase the original!
This will be important later. Much later. (Uncanny X-Men #265)
“If only there were some sort of… dangerous… room in which to train! (Uncanny X-Men #265)
Man, dig that body language. Lots of folks forget that the Orphan-Maker is a kid – not Bill Jaaska. (Uncanny X-Men #265)
The Shadow King is the worst, but his Jacob Reisz incarnation is extra-the-worst. (Uncanny X-Men #265)
“Dad, you grew a beard! Mom, you grew a OH DEAR GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT” (Uncanny X-Men #265)
When life gives you amnesia-lemons, make thievery-lemonade! (Uncanny X-Men #265)
Seriously: Extra The Worst. (Uncanny X-Men #265)
Storm commands the lightning and the storm and the wet towel right in your face! (Uncanny X-Men #266)
It’s kind of arbitrary that the Shadow King and Storm are nemeses, but damn if it doesn’t completely work. (Uncanny X-Men #266)
Hey, it’s Gambit’s first full panel! “Who is that mysterious and surprisingly colorful man?” (Uncanny X-Men #266)
Gambit’s powers used to work a little differently. Well, for one issue, anyway – the whole eyes-and-spikes thing will be mostly gone by next time. (Uncanny X-Men #266)
This, for the record, is the speech that Evil Lian Shen sees as being full of innuendo. (Uncanny X-Men #266)
I knew you’d been together for a long time, Mystique and Destiny, but I didn’t know that you were SUPER HOT. (Uncanny X-Men #266)
Any scene involving Mystique: exactly as it seems, of course. (Uncanny X-Men #266)
Suddenly, Jim Lee! (Uncanny X-Men #267)
Gambit’s too good for panel borders. (Uncanny X-Men #267)
Okay, that’s legitimately charming. (Uncanny X-Men #267)
I would read an entire series about what happens on this page. (Uncanny X-Men #267)
Ororo Munroe: badass at any age. (Uncanny X-Men #267)
Robot-suit fight! (Uncanny X-Men #267)
*triumphant wailing guitars* (Uncanny X-Men #267)
Next time: Excalibur meanders.

172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you are probably more familiar with this show than Jay and Miles are; Paul Smith makes good art; the Shadow King is so extra that his narration has its own narration; Evil Sexy Moira is a fashion queen; there are absolutely no circumstances in which it is appropriate to use the phrase “fist-o-rama”; Legion gets possessed; and we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Universes where people are other people
  • What Miles thought of Thor: Ragnorok (spoiler-free)
  • The Muir Island Saga (Part 1)
  • Uncanny X-Men #278-279
  • X-Factor #69
  • Teflon continuity
  • Our (lack of) favorite episodes of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men wiki
  • An alternate timeline
  • Corpse telepathy
  • A diabolical plan, sort of
  • Topicality
  • Theft
  • Sci-Fi Warlord Moira MacTaggert
  • Improbable aerodynamics
  • The greatest thing
  • The death of Peter Nicholas
  • The uncanny genital valley
  • Interesting ways to expand Cyclops’s powers
  • X-Pokémon

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga concludes!

ART CHALLENGE: Send us your horrifying X-Pokémon! (Note: We were not kidding when we said that we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon, which means that we will probably believe anything you tell us about canon. Have fun!)

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
But what if his dialogue also had its OWN tiny captions? (Uncanny X-Men #278)
“And that one dude from Final Fight will help me!” (Uncanny X-Men #278)
But whom could this mysterious stranger be? (Uncanny X-Men #278)
LOOK AT THIS EVIL FASHION QUEEN (Uncanny X-Men #278)
There is nothing okay happening here. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Here, on the other hand, everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
That’s not… I mean… you know what? Never mind. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Honestly, there are so many answers to that question. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
His other power is flashbacks. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
And with that, Chris Claremont flew off into space, to explore new horizons. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Say what you want about her morals; Evil Rogue has a pretty rad costume. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
OH, HELL, YEAH! (Uncanny X-Men #279)
X-Factor’s New Wave era was brief but distinctive. (X-Factor #69)
It really never gets any more okay, does it? (No.) (X-Factor #69)
Why does Reisz suddenly have red hair? WHO KNOWS? IT’S A MYSTERY! (X-Factor #69)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (X-Factor #69)
The Art of War involves some remarkably specific ruminations on spandex. (X-Factor #69)
Wait for it… (X-Factor #69)
YES! (X-Factor #69)
Also 2017 in a nutshell. (X-Factor #69)
WELL, THAT CAN’T BE GOOD. (X-Factor #69)
NEXT EPISODE: Don’t smoke, kids. (Also, the Muir Island Saga concludes.)

LINKS & FURTHER READING

 

177 – The Less You Know

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we discuss several Very Special Issues; the real cautionary tale is not to trust Hank McCoy; horses are vehicles of lies and heartbreak; the X-Men shill for a state fair; whatever you’re doing, Cyclops is here to stop you; smoking is a gateway to some really weird vices; and we want YOU to design the latest X-Men PSA!

X-PLAINED:

  • The alternate-timeline terrible choices of Hank McCoy
  • Our wholly unfounded theories about Spongebob Squarepants
  • Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men
  • VHS tapes
  • Blockbuster KidPrint
  • Mariano Nicieza
  • Some Fundamental Problems With Superhero PSAs
  • A man who may or may not be D-Man
  • Terrence
  • Why Cable should deliver more PSAs
  • Why D.A.R.E. doesn’t work
  • Varying coherent cautionary tales
  • The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas
  • A tragic lack of carnies
  • Danny the centaur and his very intense feelings about horses
  • Several exciting attractions at the State Fair of Texas
  • Big Tex
  • Activities
  • Smokescreen
  • Bret Jackson
  • Some of the lesser-known danger of smoking
  • Whether Danny Rand can turn into a centaur
  • Hanging out and other gateways to delinquency
  • The South Side Social Club
  • Jake
  • Etiquette of following teenagers around
  • A villainous plan so ineffective that it’s actually kind of sad
  • X-Men you should hire for your PSAs
  • Our thoughts on the Disney/Fox merger
  • Where to find Bloodstorm
  • Baby Jumping

NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special!

LISTENER CHALLENGE: Send your X-Men PSAs to [email protected] with the subject PSA by December 27!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)