Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 379 – Stardate: Today

July 24, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

FAO Schwarz, allegedly. (Uncanny X-Men #341)

Gladiator is not great at diplomacy. (Uncanny X-Men #341)

I AM SO WORRIED ABOUT THIS POOR MAN AND HIS HORSE (Uncanny X-Men #341)

New Outfits: Trish (Uncanny X-Men #342)

New Outfits: Bishop and Rogue (Uncanny X-Men #342)

New Outfits: Gambit, Joseph, and Beast (Uncanny X-Men #342)

Well, that’s a new look for the Phalanx. (Uncanny X-Men #343)

One for your reaction files. (Uncanny X-Men #343)

Word balloons on the cover are an underrated gimmick. (Uncanny X-Men #344)

Where babies come from! (Uncanny X-Men #344)

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X vs. Black Tom Cassidy!

379 – Stardate: Today

July 17, 2022 Jay 7 comments

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In which what happens in space stays in space; a horse is imperiled; Joseph does some dubious science; Gladiator’s name is absolutely not Gary; everybody gets new costumes; and we learn where babies come from.

X-PLAINED:

Shi’ar taxonomy, sort of
The Shi’ar (again)
The Phalanx (again)
Uncanny X-Men #341-344
A whole bunch of callbacks to X-Men #98
A carriage ride
The Z’noxx chamber (again)
One way to have safer sex
FAO Schwarz
The Shi’ar Imerial Guard (again)
Diplomacy, kind of
Space outfits
Trademarks
Pure Phalanx
Dinosaur Kingdom 2
Where Shi’ar babies come from
Flirting
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl vs. Isca the Unbeaten
Characters we would happily voice if invited to do so

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X vs. Black Tom Cassidy!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 378 – The Unstoppable Huggernaut

July 10, 2022 Miles 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

That is a lot of Cain Marko. (Juggernaut #1)

WE’VE GOT SMEK SIGN! WE’VE GOT SMEK SIGN! (Juggernaut #1)

I do not want to be in Juggernaut’s fraternity, please. (Juggernaut #1)

I honestly do not know whether D’Spayre or his chompy demons look cooler. (Juggernaut #1)

They’ve been busy. (Juggernaut #1)

Presenting Black Tom Cassidy’s forked beard and his forked… boots? (Juggernaut #1)

Same outfit as last time, but Spite looks rad as hell in this story. (Juggernaut #1)

Aww shit D’Spayre looks even cooler here (Juggernaut #1)

Even Juggernaut’s skeleton is beefy. (Juggernaut #1)

Jay disapproves of this butt. (Generation X Annual 1997)

“You can’t be Catseye! Your hair is wrong and you’re not talking like Yoda! Aaaaaaand also you’re dead!” (Generation X Annual 1997)

“Thanks for saying my logo right, Jubes.” (Generation X Annual 1997)

Aww, kids. (Generation X Annual 1997)

March 2020 – present (Generation X Annual 1997)

Nothing brings out backstory like a Fear Lord! (Generation X Annual 1997)

Did the power pairings of the current New Mutants run get their start here? Prrrrrobably not. (Generation X Annual 1997)

That’s one biiiiig leprechaun in that executioner’s hood. (Generation X Annual 1997)

When Chamber’s mutant powers first manifested, they destroyed not only his lower jaw and upper chest, but also his swole-ness. (Generation X Annual 1997)

NEXT TIME: Space fashion!

378 – The Unstoppable Huggernaut

July 10, 2022 Jay 12 comments

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In which our favorite(?) fear lord returns; Sirocco Sprawl is an extremely unpleasant fictional town; the Juggernaut is not a subtle man; we really need to get our hands on the Generation X novels; Tarot gets a logo font; and Banshee is menaced by spectral leprechauns.

X-PLAINED

Several Juggernauts
Soap Operas
D’Spayre (again)
D’Spayre vs. Nightmare
Juggernaut #1
Generation X Annual 1997
Magical pants
Juggernaut (Cain Marko) and what he’s been up to lately
Incidental reptiles
Sirocco Sprawl, NM
Marvin T. Rocksalt
A spree of cartoonish destruction
Spite (again)
Black Tom Cassidy (again)
A really cool skeleton
Generation X novels
Several episodes we should probably do someday
A very poorly-drawn butt
The Hellions (more) (again)
One way to put out a fire
Garden Plots with Skeletor
Several nightmare scenarios
Alex Summers’s adoptive family
What would happen if Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau met Cameron Hodge

NEXT EPISODE: Space!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 377 – Sam Hill

July 10, 2022 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Milo is better at dominoes than Miles. (Domino #1)

Oh ay oh ay indeed! (Domino #1)

“Miss you? Dude, I barely remember who you are!” (Domino #1)

“And my boots are still full of ninja stars!” (Domino #1)

Is that… a Nike beret? Puck makes it work, though. (Domino #1)

Solid Snake she ain’t. (Domino #1)

Ah, the classic narrative conflict of (wo)man versus man(droid). (Domino #1)

Not exactly the red carpet Domino was hoping for. (Domino #1)

Domino gets strangled, part one. (Domino #2)

…did that explosion just say “Kablooey”? (Domino #2)

Man, that flashback must have been a long time ago. Look how much more hair she has! (Domino #2)

Between this place and the Witness’s cell in Bishop’s future… Are prisons just extra sexy in the Marvel Universe? (Domino #2)

“Ah, we do have fun.” (Domino #2)

Jay disapproves of robot tits. (Domino #2)

Domino gets strangled, part two. (Domino #2)

Domino gets strangled, part three. (Domino #3)

Pay no attention to the mysterious silhouette behind the curtain. (Domino #3)

Somehow, Milo Thurman’s studies of history never included learning just how very common faking one’s own death tends to be in X-books. (Domino #3)

I feel like Domino’s powers have a sense of humor. (Domino #3)

Domino may be an member of X-Force, but she learned how to enter rooms from X-Factor. (Domino #3)

I… but… what? (Domino #3)

Oof. (Domino #3)

PUCK WHY WOULD YOU DRESS LIKE THAT (Domino #3)

NEXT TIME: D’Spayre.

377 – Sam Hill

July 3, 2022 Jay 12 comments

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In which Domino’s miniseries earns a grade of “present”; Miles gets to know Sam Hill; Domino trades pouches for boots; and we would prefer that you not sexualize Lady Deathstrike.

X-PLAINED:

Halloween Jack
Domino (Neena Thurman)
Domino #1-3
Milo Thurman
The idiomatic Sam Hill
Lady Deathstrike (again)
The Reavers (again)
Pico
Boot pouches
Puck (Eugene Judd)
Dante’s Beatrice
Several Skullbusters
Robot tits
The E.T. Atari game
One way to get out of saying “I love you”
Our unpopular favorites

NEXT EPISODE: Giving in to D’Spayre!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

HAWK TALK – The Voyage of the Mimi

June 26, 2022 Miles 13 comments

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This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week’s topic was chosen by Chuck Reynolds.

As Mentioned in Episode 376 – Moore of This

June 19, 2022 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

You’ve come a long way from tick-tick-boom, Tabitha. (X-Force #63)

Dammit, X-Force! You were already living in the same house as the X-Men, and now you have their color scheme too? (X-Force #63)

When continuity is character. (X-Force #63)

Oh, great, it’s that dream again. (X-Force #63)

Yep, Lila Cheney is just that good. (X-Force #63)

“Alright, Agents! Just like we practiced: POSE!” (X-Force #63)

Ah, come on, Bobby – you’ve been to space and multiple other dimensions. Get over yourself. (X-Force #64)

Meanwhile in Spookytown (X-Force #64)

GAVEEDRA BENJAMIN SEVEN YOU PUT THOSE SWORDS DOWN RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR (X-Force #64)

But… but ambush is the exact thing you just did! (X-Force #64)

We immediately love John Francis Moore’s Meltdown. (X-Force #64)

We’ve missed you, Julio. (X-Force #64)

Michael McCain, AKA Forearm, AKA a guy in a shirt best described as “normal”. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

You put that down! Bad dog! Drop it! DROP IT! (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Meltdown auditions for Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Like the Rainbow Bridge but somehow more cosmic! Or at least differently cosmic. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Presenting Malekith the Accursed. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Is Caliban huge or is Shatterstar tiny? The world will never know! (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Our high school English teacher always told us we needed to learn the rules of writing so we could more effectively break them. This page does that with its panel borders. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Mutants and dwarves and giants, oh my! (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Hela: goddess of death and high fashion. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

NEXT TIME: Do not mess with Domino.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

Previously on Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men:
- Miles and guest x-pert Elisabeth Allie talked about the X-Men and Alpha Flight’s visit to the Viking citadel in Episode 47: The Price of Power!
- To learn about the New Mutants’ first visit to Asgard (and Mirage becoming a Valkyrie), check out Episode 48: Guitar Solos of the Gods!
- We discussed the New Mutants second visit to Asgard (and Mirage’s corruption by Hela) in Episode 127: Disaster City and Episode 132: Nornheim Lemonade!
Miles and Elisabeth Allie covered Walter Simonson’s entire epic Thor run in their limited-series podcast THOR: The Lightning and the Storm!

376 – Moore of This

June 19, 2022 Jay 6 comments

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In which we begin John Francis Moore’s run on X-Force; Latveria is less fun without Doctor Doom; there may still be a tiny clone of Meltdown running around; Forearm is a good pal; Marvel Asgard is a realm of crossover fan fiction; and you should totally watch both Our Flag Means Death and Doom Patrol.

X-PLAINED:

Blackbeard, somewhat
X-Force #63-64
X-Force & Cable Annual 1997
Life after Onslaught
Dimitri Fortunov
Dr. Doom’s time podium
New costumes
Liddleville
Latveria, 1941
Sturmfanger
Valkyrie (Brunhilde)
Aragorn (but not that one)
The Mutant Liberation Front (again) (briefly)
A large dog who may or may not have eaten a horse
Valkyries (more) (again)
What all the former New Mutants are up to
Yggdrasil and the Nine Realms (again)
Malekith the Accursed
Kindra the Dwarf (again)
Skadi the Frost Giant
Hela (again) (briefly)
Doctor Who analogs
What we miss about the Silver Age

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Domino goes solo!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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