Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 503 – Dream’s Anticlimax

October 19, 2025 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

No, seriously. (Uncanny X-Men #388)

Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #388)

A nonspecific explosion. (Uncanny X-Men #388)

So large. (Cable #87)

no but seriously how (Cable #87)

Bye, Post. (Cable #87)

One of his teammates has to draw the tattoo on every morning with a sharpie. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)

Every time they watch a movie, Wolverine carefully explains to his teammates that it’s not real. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)

Mother of the year. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)

Now kiss! (X-Men #108)

This is not subtext, although it may be an anagram of subtext. (X-Men #108)

NEXT EPISODE: SKA!

503 – Dream’s Anticlimax

October 19, 2025 Jay 2 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which history repeats itself; Senator Kelly prevaricates (and then dies); Magneto keeps the cape on; Mystique does evil science; Post remains irrelevant (and then dies); Pyro saves the day (and then dies); Cable is a large man; Moira MacTaggert does the astral nasty (and then dies); and we really, really, really want to go to Froggy World.

X-PLAINED:

Moira MacTaggert’s mutation
A dubious plan
Evidence that we are in the wrong universe
Other crossovers named “Dream’s End”
A significant disclaimer
Uncanny X-Men #388
Cable #87
Bishop: The Last X-Men #16
X-Men #108
A surprise presidential platform
Sir Gordon Phillips and his guests
The new Brotherhood of Mutants
Cable’s hair
A lot of movie allusions
An ambiguous explosion
A deeply pointless retcon
An illusion
Cable’s psimitar
Pyro’s last stand
Dickalogue
Astral sex
The (apparent) death of Moira MacTaggert
A weird bonding moment in a cemetery
How to identify a time traveler
The (actual) death of Senator Robert Kelly
Mutant-free parts of the Marvel Universe
Froggy World

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 502 – Milkshakes of Despair

October 19, 2025 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Alternately, maybe don’t date Ego the Living Planet. (Gambit #23)

Ma’am you are wearing all neon (Gambit #23)

“…the Terran name that has been given to my uniform: Carl!” (Gambit #23)

Lip massage. (X-Men #107)

Rogue knows how to turn a bad day into a good day. (X-Men #107)

TBH, same, Rogue. (X-Men #107)

It’s cool; he’s into it. (X-Men #107)

Welcome back, Bishop! (X-Men #107)

There’s something going on with Colossus’s arms that I don’t entirely understand. (X-Men Unlimited #29)

okay but by this token HALF THE EARTH HAS BEEN ENTIRELY DESTROYED and i am pretty sure this is not addressed post-event (X-Men Unlimited #29)

I know this is a really serious moment; but also, oh, my. (X-Men Unlimited #29)

I find this panel very funny. That’s all. (X-Men Unlimited #29)

NEXT EPISODE: Dream’s rather anticlimactic end!

502 – Milkshakes of Despair (Maximum Security, Part 2 of 2)

October 12, 2025 Jay 2 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which t’ieves and assassins dress to impress; Bishop returns; Rogue and Carol Danvers have a moment; and the revolution will be stored on compact disc.

X-PLAINED:

The New Son
The First Half of Maximum Security
Gambit #23
X-Men #107
X-Men Unlimited #29
Maximum Security #3 (briefly)
Several of Gambit’s buddies
How to dress for… stealth? I guess?
Heth’sa of the planet Culth
Where Carl the X-Cutioner got his silly outfit
A heist
How to restore your lost honor without messing up the timeline
12-18 milkshakes
What Colossus is into these days
Vampire clowns (maybe)
Z’Cann
The Blood Brothers
Vibes memories
A big fight
A touching moment of touching
Mechamage, briefly
Quasar, superficially
Cadre K
The Skrull cows
Writing for the trade vs. podcast pacing
Limits of power-cancelling accessories

NEXT EPISODE: Dream’s Rather Anticlimactic End!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 501 – A Bag of Cloacae (Maximum Security, Part 1 of 2)

October 12, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Now that we look at them again, the D’Bari were really more Asparagus People than Broccoli People. (Uncanny X-Men #387)

What’s wrong with this picture? (Uncanny X-Men #387)

…I mean, Corsair does make some good points. (Uncanny X-Men #387)

In honor of Cerise: lip massage time! (Uncanny X-Men #387)

“C’mon, mess with us – make our day!!” (Uncanny X-Men #387)

Hey, it’s a Darkmantle! And also yet another instance of a character getting swallowed and slimed! (Uncanny X-Men #387)

That panel reference, though. (Uncanny X-Men #387)

In which Max Power discovers raves. (Iron Man #35)

In which Max Power improves raves. (Iron Man #35)

It’s magic dirt. (Iron Man #35)

What I love is that this scene implies that the spore of Ego the Living Planet has a detailed understanding of retro-idyllic middle America. (Iron Man #35)

PORCH GUY MOUTH (Iron Man #35)

Ego, the Living Town. (Iron Man #35)

Babies always look cuter to their parents than to anyone else. (Iron Man #35)

Welcome back, Bishop! (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

He’s about to say “Micro Machines.” He’s missed them in his time away. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

I don’t know how to say this, man, but I don’t think your girlfriend is good for you. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

“If you’d like to know more, son, just listen to Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men episodes 387 through 500.” (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

“And your nose.” (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

Man, I missed this guy. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

I feel like Deathbird played the “I’m not touching you” game a lot as a kid. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

Aww, these two. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

NEXT TIME: Maximum Security concludes!

501 – A Bag of Cloacae (Maximum Security, Part 1 of 2)

October 5, 2025 Jay 7 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which an event begins; Earth is problematic; the Phoenix Force is an unreliable narrator; Max Power just wants to make safer party drugs; and we miss Opal Tanaka.

X-PLAINED:

The fate of the D’Bari
Maximum Security: Dangerous Planet
Maximum Security #1
Uncanny X-Men #387
Iron Man #35
Bishop the Last X-Man #15
Voting in space
A bad plan
U.S. Agent (John Walker)
A peculiar marketplace
A dangerous hat
Starhammer
Space romance problems
Breaking into Earth
Max Power
Magic dirt
Littletown, Nebraska
An extremely upsetting baby
A very impressive crash landing
What Bishop’s been up to
Human X-characters we’d like to see more of
Some kid named Michael
Trading cards we’d like

NEXT EPISODE: Maximum Security concludes!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

500 – People Who Stick Together

September 21, 2025 Jay 16 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we sure did that.

X-PLAINED:

Miracles of magnetism
Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Maximum Security!

Special thanks to:

Producer, fellow musketeer, and all-around mensch Matt Hunter
Episode 500 guests David Maybury and Josephine Riesman
- David’s blog and upcoming Vegas trivia tournament
- Josie’s website and Morrison run-focused podcast
Illustrator David Wynne
Producers Emeritus Bobby Roberts, Kyle Yount, and Kurt Lloyd
Parental-leave pinch hitters Al Kennedy and Dylan Higgins
Everyone who’s made the X-comics what they are
Our families, friends, and enablers
Our kickass patrons, who make this podcast possible
All of our listeners, who make this podcast worthwhile

Please consider this to be the visual companion to episode 500.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 499 – Light Me, Boy!

September 14, 2025 Miles One comment

Listen to the episode here.

We just want them to be happy! (X-Force #110)

That Jorge Lucas sure can draw. (X-Force #110)

GUN ARMS GUN ARMS (X-Force #110)

“The dishes… are done.” (X-Force #110)

“I mean, I’m going to space to get married and have a kid eventually, but not, like, yet.” (X-Force #110)

Next up is the PowerPoint presentation. (X-Force #110)

That shirt is held together by the sheer power of the Comics Code Authority. (X-Force #111)

X-FOOOOORRRRRCCCEEE (X-Force #111)

I guess they take after their dad? Kind of? (X-Force #111)

Deep (cerebral) tissue massage. (X-Force #111)

Listen, Valentina, the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb! And I guess the green liquid in those lady-tubes is maybe somewhere in between! (X-Force #111)

In which the link between SHIELD and OSI from The Venture Bros is even more obvious than usual. I think it’s the inking. (X-Force #112)

Timely… (X-Force #112)

Racal x-plains his extremely belated remorse. (X-Force #112)

I guess those lava lamp babies actually had it kind of good. (X-Force #112)

X-Force has always been a subtle book. (X-Force #113)

Yep. Subtle. (X-Force #113)

Half a world away, Cable smiles and doesn’t know why. (X-Force #113)

Awesome x4 (X-Force #113)

Striptease speedrun! (X-Force #113)

NEXT TIME: Somehow we’ve made 500 of these?!

Jay’s X-Major Arcana

0 Fool – Wolverine (Logan)
1 Magician – Forge
2 High Priestess – Storm
3 Empress – Emma Frost
4 Emperor – Cyclops
5 Hierophant – Charles Xavier
6 Lovers – Gambit and Rogue
7 Chariot – Magneto
8 Justice – Bishop
9 Hermit – Mystique
10 Wheel of Fortune – Destiny
11 Strength – Mirage with Wolfsbane
12 Hanged Man – Havok (alt. Iceman)
13 Death – Archangel
14 Temperance – Nightcrawler
15 Devil – Sebastian Shaw
16 Tower – Quentin Quire
17 Star – Hope
18 Moon – Magik
19 Sun – Shadowcat
20 Judgement – Phoenix
21 World – Krakoa

499 – Light Me, Boy!

September 14, 2025 Jay 7 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we meet some delightful monsters; Cannonball is a man who knows how to wear overalls; Domino is the Leslie Knope of X-Force; red liquid babies deserve love, too; and not all British authors know each other.

X-PLAINED:

A murder
X-Force #110-113
Peak butts
Domestic bliss
Misplaced guilt
Several monsters
Comics Codium
Warborgs and/or Rawborgs
Poison problems
Additional monsters
SHIELD business
Large guns
Still more monsters
How monsters interact with the Bechdel Test
Cuckoo
Prescribed narcotics
Life Model Decoys (more) (again)
X-major arcana

NEXT EPISODE: Apparently we’ve made 500 of these?

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 498 – Home Depot Ossuary

September 14, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

The Twisted Sisters: “Never heard of ’em.” (X-Men #105)

Torque. Pretty sure that’s not the Invisible Woman in there. (X-Men #105)

Dun dun dun dun dun, Inspector Coil (X-Men #105)

More Logan backstory! MORE! (X-Men #105)

Does Nightcrawler teleport out of his clothes at the end of the day? (X-Men #105)

Psylocke should have worn her unstable cocktail dress. (X-Men #105)

A building sealed with the impenetrable perfection of boards. (X-Men #106)

I submit that if the Neo losing their powers for a few weeks could do this, there maaaaaay have been some flaws with their civilization. (X-Men #106)