Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 313 – Iguanafall

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Not even close, but go on. (Storm #1)
Spoiler: no. (Storm #1)
That is some weird-ass product placement. (Storm #1)
This is the worst panel. I hate it and everything it stands for. (Storm #1)
SERIOUSLY LOOK AT THOSE TEETH THIS IS NOT OKAY (Storm #1)
You’d think that context might salvage it. You would be wrong. (Storm #1)
The best character in this miniseries. (Storm #2)
Coooool. (Storm #2)
Misdirection or mistake? YOU BE THE JUDGE! (Storm #1)
I guess this counts as a malicious pose, but I feel like its main victims are her spine and ribcage. (Storm #2)
Hi, Callisto! Bye, Callisto! (Storm #2)
I refuse to accept this as “Daddy.” (Storm #2)
ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew (Storm #3)
Yeah, I don’t quite get it, either. (Storm #3)
“And I TRIPLE-DARE YOU!” (Storm #4)
Somewhere in the multiverse, there’s a timeline where Aidan Quinn was cast as Cable, and I want to go there. (Storm #4)
THIS IS NOT A GOOD WAY TO DISPOSE OF A BOMB WHOSE CONTENTS YOU DO NOT KNOW. (Storm #4)
Damn, Storm. Harsh. (Storm #4)
SURE WHY NOT LET’S JUST GO WITH THAT (Storm #4)
Really? You’re going to end your miniseries HERE? (Storm #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Jay has a lot of feelings about this issue of X-Factor

LINKS & FURTHER REPTILES:

313 – Iguanafall

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which sky pirates are the best pirates; Wolverine eats chicken in the woods; Xavier’s area loses its status as our least favorite panel; Cable is suspiciously credulous; we search in vain for a consistent metaphor; Storm has a thing or two to learn about restorative justice; and this entire miniseries should probably just have been an annual.

X-PLAINED:

  • Storm’s pirate adventures
  • Storm #1-4
  • Mark Trail
  • The Morlocks (more) (again)
  • Unacceptable gradients
  • Butt murder
  • Fashion
  • Several memes of yesteryear
  • Product placement
  • The new Worst Panel
  • Several variations on the Ceremony of Light
  • How not to identify a body
  • The Hill (Limbo)
  • “Daddy”
  • The inconsistent portrayals of Mikhail Rasputin
  • Still more members of Gene Nation
  • A new costume
  • The most obscure stories we’ve covered
  • That time Wolverine at his own arm

NEXT EPISODE: Jay’s favorite issue of X-Factor (and some others)!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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312 – Something Amazing Had to Be Done, feat. Bob Proehl

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In which author Bob Proehl joins Jay to discuss the Resonant Duology and what it means to write original work rooted visibly in the X-universe!

More Bob:

No visual companion this week, because we’re talking about word books!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 311 – Love Makes a Super Team

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This friendship really never gets old. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Freakin’ Genesis, man. (X-Men Annual 1995)
The Nasty Boys, they are not. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Nathaniel Essex: The Hollywood Dracula Years. (X-Men Annual 1995)
The ladies love the cape. (X-Men Annual 1995)
In all fairness, I’m not sure I’d want to be naked in Teen Hank and Bobby’s makeouts cabin without cleaning first, either. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Meanwhile in the UK, a dramatic man and his dramatic ponytail! (X-Men Annual 1995)
I still think the photos were a bit much. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Anniversary or no, this image does not justify a double gatefold. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Jean Grey: thirsty on main. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Me, too, Monet. Me, too/ (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Damn, Piotr. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
“Non, mon ami, I do not have Prince Albert in a can.” (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Marrow may be bloodthirsty, but she’s also inclusive! (Uncanny X-Men #325)
What. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Ew. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
This is why we can’t have nice things and/or organs. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
NEXT EPISODE: The Nobody People, with author Bob Proehl!

311 – Love Makes a Super-Team

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we decide to stop recognizing the nominal difference between X-Men and Uncanny X-Men; time travel may or may not wait for you; Mister Sinister has probably appeared in at least one Ed Wood film; we are a pro-Tingle podcast; X-Men is about family; the Braddock twins catch up; Sailor Moon > Shinobi Shaw; Generation X is inducted into the baseball tradition; and Storm does what she does with Morlocks in sewers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Franklin Richards’ impressive lineage
  • 311
  • Yet another structure for annuals
  • X-Men Annual 1995
  • Uncanny X-Men #325
  • Serious academic discussions
  • Faye Livingstone
  • Mister Sinister’s Hollywood adventures
  • Tyler Dayspring / Tolliver / Genesis (again)
  • Teenage optimism
  • An absolutely nonsensical villainous plot
  • A Hank McCoy that might have been
  • Friendship
  • Fraternal correspondence
  • Romance
  • Morlocks
  • The first time Storm stabbed a Morlock leader in the heart
  • Gene Nation
  • A really excessive cover
  • An intergenerational baseball game
  • Another fairly nonsensical villainous plot
  • The second time Storm stabbed a Morlock leader in the heart
  • X-horror
  • Other media X-fans may enjoy reading, playing, or watching

NEXT EPISODE: Bob Proehl X-Plains the Resonant Duology!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 310 – Attack and Dethrone God

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I would fairly definitely pick up this series just based on the first couple covers. (Starjammers #1)
Ugh, THIS guy. (Starjammers #1)
Halak is a delight. (Starjammers #1)
Remember the Uncreated? (Starjammers #1)
Another excellent cover. (Starjammers #2)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (Starjammers #2)
Hi, Cerise! (Starjammers #2)
I’m kind of obsessed with that possum-looking creature in the lower left. Is it a pet? Is there more than one? Do they have population control issues? (Starjammers #3)
Ch’od X-Plains the Uncreated. (Starjammers #3)
Chris really just needs to learn to do crime for the fun of it. (Starjammers #4)
Hardison would have so much fun on a spaceship! (Starjammers #4)
Cool controls; still murder. (Starjammers #4)
A surprisingly easy resolution, all things considered. (Starjammers #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Sewer Knife Fight: The Sequel!

LINKS & FURTHER SPACE PIRATES:

310 – Attack and Dethrone God

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we take a substantial detour; Minipax is no Raul Julia; Corsair tries (and fails) to retire; everything is cooler in space; vengeance is more of a vocation than a career; the Starjammers win an intergalactic war with a slide show; and we pitch some television.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mister Sinister’s X-Gene
  • A detour
  • Space Cabbie
  • Starjammers #1-4
  • The Starjammers (more) (again)
  • Magneto vs. Magento
  • Several major galactic powers
  • Shi’ar religion
  • Sharra and K’ythri
  • The Uncreated (again)
  • Cephied variables
  • Standing Still
  • T’Cahr/Minipax
  • Ship names
  • Mustache fights
  • Collapsars
  • Corsair’s garden
  • Chaff mirror throwers
  • Several character developments which later will be ignored
  • A frustratingly pat resolution
  • Longshot vs. Domino
  • X-books and teams we’d like to see adapted for television

NEXT EPISODE: Sewer Knife Fight: The Sequel

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

HAWK TALK – Hawktober

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about our current, and Jay’s favorite, season.

Topics, roughly:

  • Beatni(c)ks
  • Spoopiness vs. Spookiness
  • Fat bears
  • Seasons (and hemispheres)
  • Symbolism and secular ritual
  • Jay’s very specific Halloween costumes
  • Disappointing bats
  • Asymmetrically recognizable couples’ costumes
  • Inaccurate TMNT journalism
  • Over the Garden Wall
  • Costume Quest
  • MediEvil
  • Silent Hill playthroughs
  • The Adventures of Pete and Pete
  • Corn and/or mud mazes
  • Knitting
  • Ginger Snaps (and elaborate homages)
  • Curious chickens
  • Vincent Price
  • Internal hairdo buttresses
  • Flannel and layers and warm drinks

As Mentioned in Episode 309 – Excellent Turtle

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Really, who wouldn’t fall for him? (Excalibur #87)
Okay, then. (Excalibur #87)
Sugar Man doesn’t really add anything to the Genosha storyline. (Excalibur #87)
Cover > comic. (Excalibur #88)
Seriously, WHAT DID HE WRITE WITH? (Excalibur #88)
WE HAVE FUN. (Excalibur #88)
Okay, fair. (Excalibur #89)
This is some old-school mystery comic staging, and I AM HERE FOR IT. (Excalibur #89)
Sure, why not? (Excalibur #90)
Damnit, Black Air! (Excalibur #90)
I bet they’re great at parties. (Excalibur #90)
…Okay, then. (Excalibur #90)
Ha, ha, Pete Wisdom’s life is worse than yours. (Excalibur #90)
I’m not gonna say this is the MOST ominous narration ever superimposed over a hookup, but it’s up there. (Excalibur #90)
Rory Campbell is anti-mutant, but he’s also just a raging asshole. (Excalibur #89)
DRAMATIC PARALLELS! (Excalibur #90)
NEXT EPISODE: Swingers in space.

309 – Excellent Turtle

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which ballistics get weird; Black Air is no W.H.O.; we have surprisingly mixed feelings about Pete Wisdom and Kitty Pryde as a couple; there is an actual creepy clown bar in Portland; blood eagles are excessively ostentatious; the Uncreated just want to be cool; and Rory Campbell continues his descent into supervillainy.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Forever Man
  • Turner D. Century
  • Excalibur #87-90
  • Excalibur (more) (again)
  • Genosha (more) (again)
  • Some extremely confusing bullets
  • Philip Moreau
  • Jenny Ransome
  • Black Air
  • Dream Nails
  • Spy bars
  • Foundations of Kitty Pryde and Pete Wisdom’s relationship
  • Captions
  • Work/life separation
  • A creepy clown bar
  • Easy Tiger
  • Blood eagles
  • Shrine
  • A virus and/or bacteria
  • The Uncreated
  • Gor the God-Butcher
  • Data security
  • Rory Campbell vs. Spoor
  • How the X-Men got their name
  • Terrigen toxicity

NEXT EPISODE: Starjammers!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!