Alison Blaire – Page 5 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

74 – This Dumb Rumpus

September 14, 2015 Jay 37 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/20/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Franklin Richards is definitely a normal human meat child; Thing’s code-name is delightfully ambiguous; your kids are probably robot sailors; it’s always a Doombot; Rachel accidentally identifies with Reed Richards; all dramatic roads lead to Latveria; and superheroes are terrible at conflict resolution.

X-PLAINED:

Franklin Richards
Rachel & Miles at Rose City Comic Con
Rachel & Miles X-Plain the X-Men LIVE
Fantastic Four Versus the X-Men #1-4
The best hugs in the biz
The Fantastic Four
Mr. Fantastic (Reed Richards)
Invisible Woman (Susan Richards)
Human Torch (Johnny Storm)
Thing (Ben Grimm)
The Fantasticast
Special dreams (but not that kind)
Alicia Masters (sort of)
Dubiously informative cover art
The doomed frenemyship of Reed Richards and Victor von Doom
Varyingly competent parenting
An awful lot of incidental nudity
Ethics of super-science
Robot sailors
Latveriandroids
Agency
Dubious conflict-resolution skills
Human Torch costume logistics
Dr. Doom’s history with Magneto
Relative roles and themes of Marvel teams

NEXT WEEK: X-Factor still hasn’t really gotten the hang of doors.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 72 – Thrown Under the Plot Bus

August 30, 2015 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

Mutant X Cyclops is the best Cyclops.

Surprise Walter Simons cover! YAYBO! (Uncanny X-Men #217)

The Opening Gimmick Who Cried Wolf. (Uncanny X-Men #217)

Banshee is good at adulting. (Uncanny X-Men #217)

“Seriously, guys, it’s like the whole theme of the book. I mean, aside from fighting to protect a world that hates and fears us.” (Uncanny X-Men #217)

Whether Douglas the Gentle Freak is the Doonesbury-universe version of Cypher remains a mystery. (We’d like to think so, though.)

Damn, Callisto. That’s cold. (Uncanny X-Men #217)

You do you, Alison. (Uncanny X-Men #217)

2/3 of Juggernaut fights begin with some variation of this scene (kilt negotiable). (Uncanny X-Men #217)

Um. (Uncanny X-Men #217)

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Uncanny X-Men #217)

I don’t know if there’s a word for what’s going on with Rogue’s hair, but it is AMAZING. (Uncanny X-Men #218)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Uncanny X-Men #218)

“Y’all enjoy your group hug. I’m just gonna FLING THIS FUCKING ROCK INTO SPACE.” (Uncanny X-Men #218)

Aw, Longshot. (Uncanny X-Men #218)

I know this story is all about teamwork, but Rogue definitely wins MVP of Uncanny X-Men #218.

‘Kay. (Uncanny X-Men #218)

The really great thing about this reference is that there’s also a Brigadier Lethbridge Stuart running around UK-616. I bet they get each other’s mail all the time. (Uncanny X-Men #218)

Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, Havok! (Uncanny X-Men #218)

Car Wreck Sex: The Alex Summers Story. (Uncanny X-Men #218)

This plotline will continue to dangle for like a year and a half. (Uncanny X-Men #218)

Take a drink. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

Damn, kid. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

Please let us know if you can work out the timeline here, because we’ve basically stopped sleeping, and it’s not pretty. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

I always figured Magneto would have way nicer penmanship than this. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

Lorna, you can FUCK WITH MAGNETIC FIELDS WITH YOUR MIND, AND ONE TIME YOU THREW AN ISLAND INTO SPACE. Are you really that surprised at a freak earthquake? (Uncanny X-Men #219)

If the X-line were a sitcom, they’d totally have cut from here to Scott arguing with hallucinations over in X-Factor. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

It’s okay. Everyone will be too distracted by your hat to notice the tights. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

Our heroes and yours! (Uncanny X-Men #219)

THAT. HAIR. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

NEXT WEEK: Origins of X-Men: Evolution, with Robert N. Skir!

FURTHER LISTENING:

Special thanks to the wonderful Adam Warrock for letting us sample his song “Teamwork” in this episode! You can listen to the full track here, and find more of Adam’s work at adamwarrock.com!

72 – Thrown Under the Plot Bus

August 30, 2015 Jay 52 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/6/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Dazzler is not a team player; Longshot is the Zonker Harris of the X-Men; Juggernaut is That Guy; Rachel and Miles channel Statler and Waldorf; and Alex Summers is seriously never, ever going to finish grad school.

X-PLAINED:

Mutant X
The only well-adjusted Scott Summers in the Multiverse
The Goblin Entity
Uncanny X-Men #217-219
The evolution of the X-Men’s lineup
Standards for a good twist
Doonesbury
Several Dungeons & Dragons analogies
A dubious literary allusion
Flying jeeps
CrimeBros
The fundamental tragedy of Longshot
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart and several homages thereto
Geordie and Rupert
Havok (more) (again)
Car-wreck sex
An unfortunate end to a camping trip
The Plot Bus
Several ways to stat Rogue up as a D&D character
Narrative-friendly power sets

Special thanks to:

The wonderful Adam Warrock, for letting us sample his song “Teamwork” in this episode! You can listen to the full track here, and find more of Adam’s work at adamwarrock.com.
Harrison Barber for his X-Pert D&D advice (not to mention nearly fifteen years of tolerating our nonsense at the gaming table)!

NEXT WEEK: X-Men: Evolution with Robert N. Skir!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 68 – The Most Dangerous Game

August 3, 2015 Jay 10 comments

The visual companion to Episode 68 will be up a little late, because we’ve been moving all weekend. Meanwhile, please enjoy a sneak peek at our new home, which can double as a rousing game of Spot the Anna!

Spot the Anna! — LOOK AT ALL THOSE BOXES

68 – The Most Dangerous Game

August 3, 2015 Jay 26 comments

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most dangerous game v5 — Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/9/2015 , or contact David for the original.

In which we catch our breath after the Mutant Massacre; Miles’s taste is both epic and adorable; Dazzler’s Achilles heel is fame; Madelyne Pryor; it’s hard to be a teenage ghost; Crimson Commando is not actually Frank Borman (but we wish he were); Wolverine may or may not make truck noises; Heroes for Hope is profoundly baffling; and Sunspot would definitely be way into Leslie Knope.

X-PLAINED:

Several untimely deaths
Uncanny X-Men #214-216
Heroes for Hope
The post-Mutant Massacre X-Men
Malice
Another set of Phoenix callbacks
The Murder Grandpas
Crimson Commando
Super Sabre
Stonewall
Actual superhero Marsha P. Johnson
Priscilla the jerk
Wolverine SFX
Some fairly spectacular misunderstandings
One hell of a jam comic
X-costumes
A Thomas Magnum for 21^st-century X-kids

NEXT WEEK: Elle Collins and Graeme McMillan X-Plain Beast’s solo adventures!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 65 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 1

July 13, 2015 Jay 10 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

And so it begins. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Dazzler vs. Dazzler. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

We’d make a joke about taking a drink for every X-Men/X-Factor near miss, but you’d die of alcohol poisoning before the end of the crossover. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Aw, Colossus. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Not sure why Alanis Morisette didn’t bring this up in “Ironic.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Good job Kitty. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Well, damn. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

There’s something really unsettlingly cheery and Silver-Age about this page. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

No idea who the purple individual is, which is a shame, because they seem awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

STORM, NO! DON’T SPLIT THE PARTY! (Uncanny X-Men #211)

Whoa. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

This is the closest they’ll come to an actual conversation until Inferno. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

Whoops. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

So, THAT happened. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

SO, THAT HAPPENED. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

Dani Moonstar’s powers are METAL AS FUCK. (New Mutants #46)

“My powers are limited to the counterculture.” (New Mutants #46)

Powerlessness and the sense of being able to accomplish too little too late are pervasive themes in the Mutant Massacre. (New Mutants #46)

Everything’s sadder when teenagers are reacting to it. (New Mutants #46)

Well, shit. (New Mutants #46)

How have they not learned to listen to Doug by now? He is ALWAYS RIGHT. (New Mutants #46)

Cold, Wolverine. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

In her defense, everything is in fact well and truly fucked. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

And again. See what I meant about the alcohol-poisoning thing? (Uncanny X-Men #212)

You can, however, take a drink when Storm takes off her clothes for no clear reason. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

First mention of the man with the plan! (Uncanny X-Men #212)

Well done, Wolverine! (Uncanny X-Men #212)

I don’t care who you are: Callisto is better at leadership than you. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

It’s cool. It’s just Thor; we’ll be covering that stuff next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

Psylocke’s psychic projection is adorable and also super creepy. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Uncanny X-Men #213)

Betsy Braddock is hardcore. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

Two classic Claremontisms… (Uncanny X-Men #213)

…on a single page. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

Damn, Psylocke. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

How much do we love Psylocke’s totally femme-princess superhero costume? SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

Next Week: The Mutant Massacre, Part 2!

If you want to follow along with the crossover, you can find a guide to the reading order–and how we’re dividing it between episodes–here.

65 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 1

July 13, 2015 Jay 47 comments

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In which we hit the first big X-centric crossover; a lot of Morlocks die; X-Factor is a dark farce; Kitty Pryde talks down a mob without using racial slurs; when Doug Ramsey tells you there’s a problem, you listen; and Callisto should be one of the iconic leaders of the Marvel Universe.

X-PLAINED:

Death by intellectual-property dispute
The Mutant Massacre
Mutant Massacres that might have been
Uncanny X-Men #210-213
New Mutants #46
The Marauders
The best way to guarantee the New Mutants’ involvement in a storyline
Limbo fashion
The responsibility of leadership
Wolverine vs. Sabretooth
Psylocke vs. Sabretooth
The evolution of crossovers
Characters we’d like to see more of post-Secret Wars

NEXT WEEK: The Mutant Massacre, Part 2!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 61 – Even Horses

June 15, 2015 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/21/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

So much love for this cover. (New Mutants #41)

Danielle Moonstar on cultural identity. (New Mutants #41)

I guess when you’ve spent ten years trapped in a demon bear, it’s easier to take things like flying horses in stride. (New Mutants #41)

“Ill wind.” Who even says that? (New Mutants #41)

SPOILER: This does not end well. (New Mutants #41)

Yeah, I can see how that might put a crimp into a friendship. (New Mutants #41)

Oof. (New Mutants #41)

How badass is Dani? BADASS ENOUGH TO SHOUT DOWN DEATH. (New Mutants #41)

On the list of iconic showdowns of New Mutants, this one will always be near the top. (New Mutants #41)

A very different brush with death. (New Mutants #41)

There’s a lot going on here, but the best part is that Lila is wearing a Lila t-shirt. (New Mutants #42)

AW, SAM. (New Mutants #42)

Headcanon: Sam never has any idea what his mom’s going to look like when he gets home. (New Mutants #42)

In Joshua’s defense, his fears will turn out to have been ENTIRELY JUSTIFIED. (New Mutants #42)

Damnit, Sam. (New Mutants #42)

Later, he’ll sprout wings, but we try not to talk about that story. (New Mutants #42)

Lila goes and changes, but seriously, how great is this look? SO GREAT, RIGHT? (New Mutants #42)

This does not seem like safe behavior around an aircraft in flight. (New Mutants #43)

In which Sunspot does his best Miles. (New Mutants #43)

Aw, they’re so happy. About revenge. (New Mutants #43)

In the New Mutants’ defense, Empath is in fact the literal worst. (New Mutants #43)

Have I mentioned recently how goddamn underrated Doug Ramsey is? Doug Ramsey is so goddamn underrated. (New Mutants #43)

Moment of silence for Dani’s super awesome Kyle Baker-inked hair. (New Mutants #44)

Illyana’s door signs are pretty priceless. (New Mutants #44)

Friendship! (New Mutants #44)

Kinda love the team reaction shot going on here. (New Mutants #44)

If Reverend Craig were an ice cream flavor, he’d be Presbyterianism and dick. (New Mutants #44)

Changing in a parking lot on the way to a school dance is about as New Mutants as it gets. (New Mutants #45)

Our first introduction to Larry Bodine. (New Mutants #45)

They’re talking about two entirely different things, but only one of them realizes it. (New Mutants #45)

THESE jerks. (New Mutants #45)

X-Factor keeps popping up as the off-screen bogeyman in other titles. (New Mutants #45)

Oh, Larry, no. (New Mutants #45)

(New Mutants #45)

Warlock trying to understand death is pretty much always the saddest thing. (New Mutants #45)

Aw, Kitty. (New Mutants #45)

Aw, everyone. (New Mutants #45)

Trivia: This scene has been referenced in a number of flashbacks, but it’s almost always misidentified as Doug Ramsey’s funeral. (New Mutants #45)

It’s really remarkable how consistent the evolution of Kitty’s feelings about identity politics has been, from here, through Mekanix, and into All-New X-Men. (New Mutants #45)

Next Week: GIANT-SIZE SUMMER SPECIAL SUPER TABLETOP TEAM-UP!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

National Suicide Prevention Line (U.S.): 1-800-273-TALK (8255) www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
A fairly comprehensive list of suicide prevention hotlines outside of the U.S.: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
Advice for intervention if you suspect that someone you know may be suicidal: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-prevention-helping-someone-who-is-suicidal.htm
The Guthrie Family Tree, from UncannyXMen.net
From Shaman to Equinox: The Challenges and Failures of Indigenous Representation in Superhero Comics, by James Leask
For more discussion of Legion in particular and mental illness in comics in general, listen to Episode 44 – Assembling Legion, with Si Spurrier.

61 – Even Horses

June 15, 2015 Jay 37 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which the band gets back together; Dani faces down Death; Sam takes Lila home to meet his mom; revenge is a dish best left unserved; there is nothing sadder than Warlock confused by the concept of death; Kitty Pryde has a some opinions about identity politics; and X-Men has not been great with textual representations of neurodiversity.

NOTE: Given some of the material covered in this episode, we wanted to link a few resources below, for anyone who might need them:

National Suicide Prevention Line (U.S.): 1-800-273-TALK (8255) www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
A fairly comprehensive list of suicide prevention hotlines outside of the U.S.: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
Advice for intervention if you suspect that someone you know may be suicidal: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-prevention-helping-someone-who-is-suicidal.htm
Autistic Self Advocacy Network: http://autisticadvocacy.org/

X-PLAINED:

The rotating members of the Guthrie family
New Mutants #41-45
One way to end a friendship
A respectable number of dubious decisions enacted over several issues
An epic showdown with an anthropomorphic personification
Additional Guthries
The Xavier Institute PTA
The worst Hellion (more) (again)
Legion (more) (again)
The second-saddest issue of New Mutants
The life and death of Larry Bodine
A somewhat bleak recurring continuity error
Depression and mental illness in X-canon
Care and storage of comic books
Autism in X-canon

NEXT WEEK: GIANT-SIZE SUMMER SPECIAL SUPER TABLETOP TEAM-UP!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 60 – Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

June 8, 2015 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

The last thing you see before you die. (Uncanny X-Men #206)

Do you ‘ship Storm and Bree Morrell now? You probably should. (Uncanny X-Men #206)

The outfits in this arc are just 100% amazing. (Uncanny X-Men #206)

Damnit, Rachel. This is why we can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #206)

“Teamwork! Our only weakness!” (Uncanny X-Men #206)

“It’s Madelyne! They’ve shot her! And dyed her hair! And given her fairly extensive cosmetic surgery!” (Uncanny X-Men #206)

Wolverine hates Arizona. (Uncanny X-Men #207)

We were going to make up a drinking game based around how many times Wolverine really or metaphorically kills Rachel in this story, but you would die of alcohol poisoning by the end of the first issue. (Uncanny X-Men #207)