Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Callisto

As Mentioned in Episode 392 – The Mullet of Leadership

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Venice Beach. (Generation X #29)
Sunglasses shopping with Husk and M. (Generation X #29)
Disguises! (Generation X #29)
The Sugar Bombs have to be a Calvin and Hobbes nod, right? (Generation X #29)
This kid, man. (Generation X #29)
Does anyone know who these three are supposed to be? (Generation X #29)
Still cool, but not as cool as when they were bugs. (Generation X #29)
Emma, no! (Generation X #30)
Bachalo’s Prime Sentinels are pretty fun. (Generation X #31)
This kid was like sixteen two issues ago. (Generation X #31)
Wheeee! (Generation X #31)
FINALLY! (Generation X #31)
He kind of deserves it, though. (Uncanny X-Men #346)
You tell ‘im, JJJ! (Uncanny X-Men #346)
NEXT EPISODE: Camping trip!

392 – The Mullet of Leadership

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Chris Bachalo changes things up; we theorize about Prime Sentinel hierarchy; the headmasters go undercover; fictional characters spend a lot of time in sewers; M’s secret comes to light; J. Jonah Jameson is at his best in X-books; Jay pitches a video game; Marrow gets a makeover; and part of journalistic integrity is choosing what not to cover.

X-PLAINED:

  • Banshee, recently
  • Generation X #29-31
  • Uncanny X-Men #346
  • Bastion
  • Daria
  • Leave It to Chance
  • Miguela Torres
  • Venice Beach
  • Skin’s cousin Gil
  • Inconsistencies that may or may not be deliberate
  • Jolt Cola™
  • Yet another take on Prime Sentinels
  • The Mullet of Leadership
  • A cool kid
  • Cat drama
  • DOA (again)
  • Cars
  • A kiss
  • Several attempted murders
  • Marrow’s appearance
  • Boyd and Mathers
  • X-fighting games
  • Mutant leadership philosophies

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men cleverly disguised as Wolverine

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As Mentioned in Episode 313 – Iguanafall

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Not even close, but go on. (Storm #1)
Spoiler: no. (Storm #1)
That is some weird-ass product placement. (Storm #1)
This is the worst panel. I hate it and everything it stands for. (Storm #1)
SERIOUSLY LOOK AT THOSE TEETH THIS IS NOT OKAY (Storm #1)
You’d think that context might salvage it. You would be wrong. (Storm #1)
The best character in this miniseries. (Storm #2)
Coooool. (Storm #2)
Misdirection or mistake? YOU BE THE JUDGE! (Storm #1)
I guess this counts as a malicious pose, but I feel like its main victims are her spine and ribcage. (Storm #2)
Hi, Callisto! Bye, Callisto! (Storm #2)
I refuse to accept this as “Daddy.” (Storm #2)
ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew (Storm #3)
Yeah, I don’t quite get it, either. (Storm #3)
“And I TRIPLE-DARE YOU!” (Storm #4)
Somewhere in the multiverse, there’s a timeline where Aidan Quinn was cast as Cable, and I want to go there. (Storm #4)
THIS IS NOT A GOOD WAY TO DISPOSE OF A BOMB WHOSE CONTENTS YOU DO NOT KNOW. (Storm #4)
Damn, Storm. Harsh. (Storm #4)
SURE WHY NOT LET’S JUST GO WITH THAT (Storm #4)
Really? You’re going to end your miniseries HERE? (Storm #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Jay has a lot of feelings about this issue of X-Factor

LINKS & FURTHER REPTILES:

313 – Iguanafall

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which sky pirates are the best pirates; Wolverine eats chicken in the woods; Xavier’s area loses its status as our least favorite panel; Cable is suspiciously credulous; we search in vain for a consistent metaphor; Storm has a thing or two to learn about restorative justice; and this entire miniseries should probably just have been an annual.

X-PLAINED:

  • Storm’s pirate adventures
  • Storm #1-4
  • Mark Trail
  • The Morlocks (more) (again)
  • Unacceptable gradients
  • Butt murder
  • Fashion
  • Several memes of yesteryear
  • Product placement
  • The new Worst Panel
  • Several variations on the Ceremony of Light
  • How not to identify a body
  • The Hill (Limbo)
  • “Daddy”
  • The inconsistent portrayals of Mikhail Rasputin
  • Still more members of Gene Nation
  • A new costume
  • The most obscure stories we’ve covered
  • That time Wolverine at his own arm

NEXT EPISODE: Jay’s favorite issue of X-Factor (and some others)!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 311 – Love Makes a Super Team

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This friendship really never gets old. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Freakin’ Genesis, man. (X-Men Annual 1995)
The Nasty Boys, they are not. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Nathaniel Essex: The Hollywood Dracula Years. (X-Men Annual 1995)
The ladies love the cape. (X-Men Annual 1995)
In all fairness, I’m not sure I’d want to be naked in Teen Hank and Bobby’s makeouts cabin without cleaning first, either. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Meanwhile in the UK, a dramatic man and his dramatic ponytail! (X-Men Annual 1995)
I still think the photos were a bit much. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Anniversary or no, this image does not justify a double gatefold. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Jean Grey: thirsty on main. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Me, too, Monet. Me, too/ (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Damn, Piotr. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
“Non, mon ami, I do not have Prince Albert in a can.” (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Marrow may be bloodthirsty, but she’s also inclusive! (Uncanny X-Men #325)
What. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Ew. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
This is why we can’t have nice things and/or organs. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
NEXT EPISODE: The Nobody People, with author Bob Proehl!

311 – Love Makes a Super-Team

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we decide to stop recognizing the nominal difference between X-Men and Uncanny X-Men; time travel may or may not wait for you; Mister Sinister has probably appeared in at least one Ed Wood film; we are a pro-Tingle podcast; X-Men is about family; the Braddock twins catch up; Sailor Moon > Shinobi Shaw; Generation X is inducted into the baseball tradition; and Storm does what she does with Morlocks in sewers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Franklin Richards’ impressive lineage
  • 311
  • Yet another structure for annuals
  • X-Men Annual 1995
  • Uncanny X-Men #325
  • Serious academic discussions
  • Faye Livingstone
  • Mister Sinister’s Hollywood adventures
  • Tyler Dayspring / Tolliver / Genesis (again)
  • Teenage optimism
  • An absolutely nonsensical villainous plot
  • A Hank McCoy that might have been
  • Friendship
  • Fraternal correspondence
  • Romance
  • Morlocks
  • The first time Storm stabbed a Morlock leader in the heart
  • Gene Nation
  • A really excessive cover
  • An intergenerational baseball game
  • Another fairly nonsensical villainous plot
  • The second time Storm stabbed a Morlock leader in the heart
  • X-horror
  • Other media X-fans may enjoy reading, playing, or watching

NEXT EPISODE: Bob Proehl X-Plains the Resonant Duology!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 294 – The Infernal Gallop

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Man, I love this cover. (X-Calibre #1)
Cain Marko, man of peace. (X-Calibre #1)
Welcome to Avalon. (X-Calibre #1)
That is an EXCELLENT point. (X-Calibre #1)
I don’t remember Thunderbird having that many muscles or, y’know, being white. (X-Calibre #1)
“Sure thing! That’s BLAMM with two Ms?” (X-Calibre #2)
Aw, buddy. (X-Calibre #2)
But shouldn’t that be Rusty Collins’s icon? (X-Calibre #2)
…well, shit. (X-Calibre #2)
Almost our Kurt, and very much not our Kurt. (X-Calibre #2)
OH HELL YEAH (X-Calibre #3)
TFW Magneto forces you to visit your One Big Ex’s intentional community. (X-Calibre #3)
They have fun. (That is a lie. They do not have fun.) (X-Calibre #3)
Oh, come on. (X-Calibre #3)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (X-Calibre #4)
Not AGAIN. (X-Calibre #4)
Welcome to the Age of Apocalypse!
NEXT EPISODE: these goofs, in space

LINKS & FURTHER ALLUSIONS

294 – The Infernal Gallop

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which a whole lot of things burn; Nightcrawler gets gritty; it’s hard to be Dead Man Wade; Apocalypse’s IT department has some explaining to do; Mystique is the most mom of all moms; Doug Ramsey dies (again); and Jay will fight anyone who says comics can’t be “real” literature.

X-PLAINED:

  • Damask
  • X-Calibre #1-4
  • Switchback
  • Cain Marko of Earth-295
  • Avalon
  • Destiny of Earth-295
  • Nightcrawler of Earth-295
  • Ghost Dance (actual)
  • Ghost Dance (fictional)
  • John Proudstar of Earth-295
  • The Infernal Gallop vs. the Infernal Galop
  • Moonstar of Earth-295
  • Dead Man Wade
  • The Pale Riders
  • Videoconferencing software of Earth-295
  • The Excalibur
  • Walter Newell
  • Callisto of Earth-295
  • A lot of murders
  • A really dark historical precedent
  • Parenthood
  • Death by existential crisis
  • The worst plan
  • Variations on the death of Doug Ramsey
  • Geography of the Age of Apocalypse
  • The rest of the Marvel books during the Age of Apocalypse
  • Jay vs. Western canon

NEXT EPISODE: Gambit and the X-Ternals

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 203 – The X-Man’s Burden

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Hmm. Well. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
Impressive pajamas! Ever-present shotguns! Sexy (not-quite-) dead girls! Extra-spiky Archangel Wings! Banter! This one’s got it all. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
I know you were in the Void Dimension for a while, Mikhail, but… did you forget how shirts work? (Uncanny X-Men #291)
I don’t know what it is about the astral plane being colored with highlighters that works for me, but man, does it ever. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
I go back and forth on Tom Raney’s art, but he draws a hell of a Callisto. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
This is a cool group shot and all, but PLEASE NOTE THE MORLOCK WHO IS VERY EXCITED TO EAT A ROCK. Or bash his buddy with it, I guess. But I’m pretty sure he’s eating it. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
But… the Morlocks were never trapped! Well, I guess now they’re extra not trapped. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
One of my very favorite 90s covers of all time, only improved by the confusing colorful party lights above the logo. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
In the next panel, Colossus and Bishop passionately kiss. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
I’ll give Mikhail one thing: he’s legitimately scary. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
Warren, you’ve been through a lot, but… you do know that this is the other place you were nailed to a wall in the Morlock tunnels, right? Right? (Uncanny X-Men #292)
Miles had so many nightmares about this guy 26 years ago. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
To be fair, Callisto keeps all of her clothing in pots. Storm, having played Zelda>, does not. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
Sure, Professor Xavier can be a jerk – but every once in a while, we remember why he runs the school. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
We’ve all got that family member. (Uncanny X-Men #293)
The advantage of being drawn in a 90s superhero comic is that you can do this. (Uncanny X-Men #293)
Everything about that last panel is solid gold. (Uncanny X-Men #293)
I know we say that Cannonball is the best kid or that Warlock is the best kid, but Colossus is kind of also the best kid. (Not that his judgment is necessarily all that great…) (Uncanny X-Men #293)
God, right in the heart. (Uncanny X-Men #293)
NEXT TIME: Miles and Hub talk travel back to the Bronze Age!

The rad lawyer we mentioned in the episode is Katie Lane – check out her website for all kinds of good stuff!

203 – The X-Man’s Burden

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Morlocks used to have more agency, we have a surprising amount to say about the Rat King from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Archangel receives some exceptionally disturbing news, and 90s comics are all about finding the parts you love.

X-PLAINED:

  • Marrow’s internal organs
  • The post-Image Exodus era
  • Judging books by their covers
  • Uncanny X-Men #291-293
  • Sexy dead girls (again)
  • The Morlock leadership vacuum
  • A significant Callisto personality retcon
  • Failures of leadership due to own-death-faking
  • The magical life and magical death of the Morlock Sewer Wizard
  • Science Made Stupid
  • Storm’s claustrophobia (again)
  • MeMe, scourge of Miles’s childhood
  • 90s Jean Grey: cartoon vs comic
  • The Br’er Rabbit Technique
  • Some unfortunate and significant continuity errors
  • Professor Xavier’s impressive upper body strength
  • Mikhail Rasputin’s genuinely terrifying mutant powers
  • Bobby Drake’s potential
  • Morlock organizational techniques
  • Mikhail Rasputin’s very bad plan
  • Jean Grey’s real talk
  • The Home for Infinite Losers
  • Piotr Rasputin, tragedy collector
  • Copyright law and Fair Use
  • Queer headcanon
  • X-beards

NEXT EPISODE: Hub from Titan Up the Defense joins Miles to talk Bronze Age X-weirdness!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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