Charlotte Jones – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 498 – Home Depot Ossuary

September 14, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

The Twisted Sisters: “Never heard of ’em.” (X-Men #105)

Torque. Pretty sure that’s not the Invisible Woman in there. (X-Men #105)

Dun dun dun dun dun, Inspector Coil (X-Men #105)

More Logan backstory! MORE! (X-Men #105)

Does Nightcrawler teleport out of his clothes at the end of the day? (X-Men #105)

Psylocke should have worn her unstable cocktail dress. (X-Men #105)

A building sealed with the impenetrable perfection of boards. (X-Men #106)

I submit that if the Neo losing their powers for a few weeks could do this, there maaaaaay have been some flaws with their civilization. (X-Men #106)

Rogue PTUIs for us all. (X-Men #106)

Comics! (X-Men #106)

Just like DARE told us! (X-Men #106)

Hi, new Super Sabre and Crimson Commando! Bye, new Super Saber and Crimson Commando! (X-Men #106)

Behold, the effects of X-Men Forever! (X-Men #106)

Rogue, super spy. (X-Men #106)

Problem solved! (X-Men #106)

Hey, it’s that one scene from the X-Men Evolution intro that’s also that one scene from Buffy the Vampire Slayer! (Uncanny X-Men #386)

“I’ve kissed the lips that kissed you!” (Uncanny X-Men #386)

Thanks for breaking the tension, Paolo. (Uncanny X-Men #386)

WHEEEEE (Uncanny X-Men #386)

See? Not so judgey of Lee Forrester now, are we? (Uncanny X-Men #386)

NEXT TIME: X-Force versus monsters! Again!

498 – Home Depot Ossuary

September 7, 2025 Jay 2 comments

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In which the Twisted Sisters are vanquished by water; there is no way to make Stryfe cool; and the X-Men fight a hurricane.

X-PLAINED:

Ego the Living Planet and his dysfunctional family
X-Men #105-106
Uncanny X-Men #386
The Neo (more) (again)
The state of Psylocke and Archangel’s relationship
The Twisted Sisters
- Helix
- Coil
- Gyre
- Ringlet
- Torque
Pelicans
Bad decisions of past Jay and Miles
A mysterious stranger
Unrealized plans
Mystique and Wolverine’s forgotten friendship
Neo infrastructure
Big Casino’s name
An unlikely hybrid
A surprisingly large femur
The new Brotherhood
Lee Forrester (again)
Weather
Fan history

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force vs. Warborgs

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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490 – Chekhov’s Angel Dust

June 15, 2025 Jay 13 comments

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In which Chris Claremont tries to make the Neo happen; Cecilia Reyes continues to have no time for this bullshit; Rogue gets some action; Shadowcat flees the comic; and Tessa returns.

X-PLAINED:

The Evolutionaries
X-Men #100-102
The current X-Men rosters
Thunderbird (Neal Shaara)
Claremont vs. continuity
Dove crimes
The Neo
- Domina
- Jaeger
- Rax
Fancy space suits
What to do with someone else’s bone claws
Some guy named Seth
The High Evolutionary’s love nest
A Phoenix-saga callback
Rave
Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s weird fantasies
Whether unstable molecules are self-cleaning
Seventeen deaths of Mister Sinister
Salvo the Living Gun
How to keep track of X-Men
Time travel problems
X-Men LEGO sets we’d like to see

NEXT EPISODE: Live from Washington, D.C.!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 394 – We All Have to Go Sometime

December 11, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

It’s the OZT broadcast that keeps on giving! (X-Men #66)

Cecilia Reyes, reluctant hero. (X-Men #66)

I really thought this was a callback to a bit of Iceman’s Silver Age origin story, but it is not. (X-Men #66)

Here for the meme. (X-Men #66)

Sabra, puncher of cars, owner of the world’s most durable bra. (X-Men #67)

Speaking of callbacks. (X-Men #68)

I know that Marrow is not actually supposed to be kicking herself in the face here, but I can’t see it any other way. (X-Men #68)

Can you imagine a more awkward person to get stuck in a bathroom conversation with than Henry Peter Gyrich? (X-Men #68)

Again, here for your Internet use. (X-Men #68)

Sabra’s costume is fairly cool. (X-Men #68)

HOW DOES SHE SAY THAT MUCH WHILE JUMPING OUT OF THE WATER DOLPHIN-STYLE? (X-Men #69)

And that’s that, sort of. (X-Men #69)

NEXT EPISODE: Bastion and his fleshy appendages!

LINKS & FURTHER LIFE LESSONS:

Nearly 40 years after Secret Wars II, Spider-Man is still teaching people to poop.

394 – We All Have to Go Sometime

December 4, 2022 Jay 15 comments

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In which there’s always room for another X-cast; Cecilia Reyes wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Sabra has indestructible underwear; prime sentinels are probably even worse pets than quail; Marrow probably swears more than superhero comics allow for; and Operation Zero Tolerance comes to an end.

X-PLAINED:

The original proposed ending of Operation Zero Tolerance
The actual ending of Operation Zero Tolerance
X-Men #66-69
Operation Zero Tolerance (so far)
Prime Sentinels (again)
Bastion (more) (again)
Spidey and His Amazing Friends
Cecilia Reyes
The most reluctant X-Men
Nanomachines
Trust
Miles’s least favorite X-Men story
Sabra
Superheroes who wear white
Wizard dogs
Indestructible undergarments
Angie Quail
Candy Southern (again)
Actual quail
Bones
Metal Gear Solid
Officers Aguinal and Cleaveland
The sound of a soul losing its shape
One of many problems with the carceral system
What men do in bathrooms
A showdown
Operation Zero Tolerance in retrospect
Silly superhero names
Non-mutant characters who pair well with X-Men

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Bastion’s secret origin!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 212 – Drumbeats of Despair

September 2, 2018 Jay 5 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

(Actually, it’s part of a triptych! Here are all three, together at last!)

Damnit, Stryfe. (Uncanny X-Men #296)

Ew. (Uncanny X-Men #296)

Including this entirely for Archangel’s epic grumpy face. (Uncanny X-Men #296)

Alas, the podcast JY & Miles X-Plain the X-Men won’t exist for another 23 years. (Uncanny X-Men #296)

Say what you will about Scott and Jean, but they’re aware of their own cliches. (Uncanny X-Men #296)

Of course. (Uncanny X-Men #296)

The number of unsettling ways in which X-artists can mess up drawing babies never ceases to impress. (Uncanny X-Men #296)

“Also, sorry ’bout your table.” (Uncanny X-Men #296)

“Remember,” said the editor, “Every comic is somebody’s first!” (X-Factor #86)

Seriously, though, that could not get more Patrick Nagel if Patrick Nagel had drawn it. (X-Factor #86)

“AND I’LL BE THE HEAD!” (X-Factor #86)

THIS. PAGE. (X-Factor #86)

No, not particularly. (X-Factor #86)

Seriously: Ew. (X-Factor #86)

“Eh, I got nowhere else to be.” (X-Factor #86)

They’re so enormous and heavily armed! (X-Men #16)

Aw, man, this is a really good heroic moment. (X-Men #16)

WHOOPS. (X-Men #16)

Well, that’s portentous. (X-Men #16)

Stryfe’s tirades remain an impressive mix of incredibly specific and frustratingly vague. (X-Force #18)

Possibly the most Stryfe line of the entire event. (X-Force #18)

Dang, Cable. (X-Force #18)

“Like, organs and stuff.” (X-Force #18)

I’d like to think that Stryfe is angriest about the pun. (X-Force #18)

SPOILER: He’ll be okay, at least by Cable standards. (X-Force #18)

Maybe it’s a universal remote! SERIOUSLY, CYCLOPS, I KNOW YOU WERE RECENTLY DEPRIVED OF OXYGEN, BUT IT’S VERY CLEARLY A DETONATOR. (X-Force #18)

Ouch. (X-Force #18)

NEXT EPISODE: Live from FlameCon, featuring Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams!

LINKS & FURTHER MISHAPS:

I know this Waiting for the Trade strip is years old, but the joke really never stops being funny.
For all your old-school hacking needs.
According to Wikipedia, the not-Stüssy S is in fact called the “Cool S,” which is a fairly bold claim.
Ferruginous hawks are ridiculous, but they’re still not as ridiculous as Warren Kenneth Worthington III.

212 – Drumbeats of Despair: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 3 or 3)

September 2, 2018 Jay 14 comments

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In which nobody but Stryfe’s diary understands him; Apocalypse is the best at what he does (and what he does is remarkably versatile); Scott and Jean weaponize their clichés; Jae Lee does his best Patrick Nagel; Apocalypse is poisonous; Cable goes full T-800; nothing good ever happens to Cyclops on the moon; Stryfe dies as passive-aggressively as he lived; and X-Cutioner’s Song finally concludes.

X-PLAINED:

How Cable dies
The Story So Far
Still more trading-card taxonomy
Uncanny X-Men #296
X-Factor #86
X-Men #16
X-Force #18
An AU we’d like to read
The not-Stüssy S
How to effectively reference X-Men #137
A decoy baby
An abortive escape
Moon gravity
Revelatory vandalism
A trip to the moon
A probably excessive number of hawk facts
Various daring rescues
How to kill time in space
Cathexes
A very fancy moon base
The cavalry, kind of
Stryfe vs. Cable
An X-Cellent epilogue
Several Silent Hill 2 references
Stryfe’s Legacy
Pawnee, Indiana vs. Marvel
Sexy high-security prisons of the future

NEXT EPISODE: Live from FlameCon, featuring Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams!

Special thanks to Matt for the subject of this episode’s cold open; and to the Protomen for use of their cover of “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 211 – A Cornucopia of Mayhem

August 26, 2018 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Really, though, it was all just a hilarious misunderstanding. (Uncanny X-Men #295)

I’m just gonna let Jubilee caption this one… (Uncanny X-Men #295)

…Yep. (Uncanny X-Men #295)

PSYLOCKE, MURDER IS OCCASIONALLY NOT THE ANSWER. (Uncanny X-Men #295)

This is not actually a lot like child-rearing. (Uncanny X-Men #295)

It is very, very 1992 in here. (Uncanny X-Men #295)

Aw, Sam. You’re a good kid. (Uncanny X-Men #295)

NEXT ISSUE: Three men without inside voices. (Uncanny X-Men #295)

Sure, why not? (X-Factor #85)

Even Apocalypse is horrified by the ramifications of this mess. (X-Factor #85)

Compromise is the heart of teamwork! (X-Factor #85)

I really love both the art in this issue and Dragoness’s design as drawn by Jae Lee. (X-Factor #85)

It’s a metaphor! With robots! Probably! (X-Factor #85)

Awk-ward. (X-Factor #85)

You see what I mean about the DragonQuest thing? (X-Men #15)

Why is Psylocke standing like this mid-fight? Or at all, honestly? A MYSTERY FOR THE AGES. (X-Men #15)

I’m glad that Colossus’s Angst Landscaping has persevered. (X-Men #15)

No, Stryfe. And I think you know that. (X-Men #15)

new body who dis (X-Men #15)

NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, STRYFE. (X-Force #17)

Oh, that’ll end well. (X-Force #17)

Logan ABSOLUTELY deserved that. (X-Force #17)

Ouch. (X-Force #17)

Objectively, I know that X-Men #137 callbacks are calculated manipulation, BUT THEY ALWAYS WORK ANYWAY. (X-Force #17)

NEXT EPISODE: Man, this is a long event.

LINKS & FURTHER EXPERIMENTS:

Listen to Part 1 of our X-Cutioner’s Song coverage here.
Wire Mothers: Harry Harlow and the Science of Love is a really cool book made by some people we like very much.

211 – A Cornucopia of Mayhem: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 2 of 3)

August 26, 2018 Jay 16 comments

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In which Jubilee is underwhelmed by X-Force; Havok and Gambit make weirdly good buddy cops; Department K is a hot vacation destination; Cable is secretly a Coen Brothers protagonist; you can cancel Community but you can never take away Jay’s gratuitous Community references; Rusty goes full cultist; nobody is Stryfe’s real dad; smoking on a space station is a REALLY bad idea; Apocalypse is here to help; and Miles lies at length about music.

X-PLAINED:

Kuurth
Various Juggernauts
The Story So Far
More trading-card taxonomy
Uncanny X-Men #295
X-Factor #85
X-Men #15
X-Force #17
Varyingly hilarious misunderstandings
Wire Mothers: Harry Harlow and the Science of Love
What happened
Good Cop / Sleazy Cop
A deal
A tragic absence of Draculas
The Coen Brothers’ X-Cutioner’s Song
Thanksgiving with Cable
Miles’s summer camp hijinks
Murderbots in space (again)
A dubious strategy
MLF Redshirts
The second time someone force-fed superheroes baby food in space
A dropped plot thread
Things you shouldn’t do on space stations
Additional awkward reunions
Whether Stryfe is a Summers
The X-Cutioner’s signature karaoke song

NEXT EPISODE: Dang, this event is long.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)