colossus – Page 7 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

293 – The Monster Under the World

May 3, 2020 Jay 11 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which not all Mondos are created equal; the kids are only rarely all right; the Age of Apocalypse is not Magneto’s fault; Sugar Man is the stuff of universal nightmares; “cartoonish” is not necessarily a plus; and the Age of Apocalypse is not particularly sustainable.

X-PLAINED:

Generation Next #1-4
The tradition of YA horror in X-books
Bachalo unchained
Whose fault the Age of Apocalypse is
Adaptive technology vs. Apocalypse
Chamber of Earth-295
Husk of Earth-295
Skin of Earth-295
Mondo of Earth-295
Vincente Cimetta
Know-It-All (Claudia)
An abysmal training exercise
Colossus of Earth-295
Shadowcat of Earth-295
Gardner Monroe (Flashback)
Quietus
Sugar Man
The Portland and/or Seattle Core
Illyana Rasputin
Ace
Human collaborators
A gratuitous Monty Python reference
The difference between mass and volume
Number Six
The fall of Generation Next
Growing up in the Age of Apocalypse
Illyana 2.0
Subtext vs. queerbaiting

NEXT EPISODE: X-Calibre!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 288 – Cape Citadel Remix

March 15, 2020 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

The brightness of this cover is so distinctive among the generally dark aesthetic of AoA. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

Scenic Wundagore Mountain. Don’t get too attached. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

It’s weird how functional their relationship is in this timeline. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

Dig those primary colors! (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

Ugh, THAT guy. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

“Also, we’re gonna divide you all up into guilds.” (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

Aw, kiddo. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

Ah, yes, the traditional horsemen of Death, War, Gideon, Candra, and Sabretooth. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

This guy is going to get immolated and then change his name to Holocaust, because he makes universally poor choices. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

Meanwhile on ao3… (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

I like how retro Apocalypse is at the beginning of Earth-295 his rise. (X-Men: Chronicles #1)

So, yeah, that’s Wolverine. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)

I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND THE SHOULDERS (X-Men: Chronicles #2)

“Who has the least healthy boundaries?” (X-Men: Chronicles #2)

The X-Men’s presence is about 50/50 concern/ogling. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)

Nope. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)

How not to ask your crush out, starring Remy LeBeau, Disaster Bisexual. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)

Any time they have sex. every credit card in the mansion ends up demagnetized. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)

TFW canon sticks an OTP in your OT3. (X-Men: Chronicles #2)

Seriously, HOW? (X-Men: Chronicles #2)

NEXT EPISODE: Somehow, Summers family reunions get even worse.

288 – Cape Citadel Remix

March 15, 2020 Jay 20 comments

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In which Magneto is a drama llama in any universe (but a remarkably decent parent in at least one); the soap opera hits the Age of Apocalypse; Weapon X is a man made of red flags; Gambit has an OT3; the better man wins; some blanks are better left unfilled; and we would probably not fare too well on Earth-295.

X-PLAINED:

The other Magnus
Synchronicity
Earth-295 (more) (again)
X-Men Chronicles #1-2
Selective backstory
Magneto’s hair
Wundagore Mountain
Aesthetics of the Age of Apocalypse
The X-Men of Earth-295
Magneto’s pedagogy
More miscellaneous horsemen
Weapon X (Logan)
Cape Citadel, revisited
The death of the Scarlet Witch
Disaster Bisexual Gambit
Wolverine (but not that one)
Punks who may or may not also be scrimshanders
Emotionally well-adjusted Quicksilver
Further miracles of magnetism
The narrative power of evocation
Age of Somebody Else
Jay and Miles of Earth-295

NEXT EPISODE: Summers Family Reunions somehow get even worse.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 287 – Welcome to the Age of Apocalypse

March 8, 2020 Jay 6 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Peter Nguyen updated the show cover art for the glammest timeline!

Not your mama’s X-Men (unless she’s from Earth-295). (X-Men: Alpha)

Clearly in Earth-295 they didn’t reschedule this year’s ECCC. (X-Men: Alpha)

All-New, All-Glam! (X-Men: Alpha)

Ouch. (X-Men: Alpha)

Magneto’s edging awfully close to moppethood here. (X-Men: Alpha)

It’s been a rough timeline for Bishop. (X-Men: Alpha)

Meet the New Beast, somewhat different from the Old Beast. (X-Men: Alpha)

Still ABD, though. (X-Men: Alpha)

The hair is definitely better than the outfit. (X-Men: Alpha)

You absolutely have not. (X-Men: Alpha)

The Weimar Republic of Apocalypse. (X-Men: Alpha)

That’s not… y’know, never mind. (X-Men: Alpha)

WE HAVE QUESTIONS. (X-Men: Alpha)

Heh. “Truant officer of the damned.” (X-Men: Alpha)

His forearms are really weird, right? Or is that just me? (X-Men: Alpha)

The Human Council! (X-Men: Alpha)

Her hair is so good! (X-Men: Alpha)

I really want to edit this with all the most potentially embarrassing moments of Magneto’s 616 life. (X-Men: Alpha)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (X-Men: Alpha)

NEXT EPISODE: Previously on Earth-295…

LINKS & FURTHER UNIVERSES:

Guest X-Pert Logan Bonner DM’d our tabletop X-games in Giant-Size Special #2 and Giant-Size Special #4!

287 – Welcome to the Age of Apocalypse

March 8, 2020 Jay 29 comments

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In which we enter the Age of Apocalypse!

X-PLAINED:

One way to solve a problem
The story so far
Earth-295
X-Men: Alpha
Age of Apocalypse Collector’s Preview
What makes Age of Apocalypse a surprisingly good jumping-on point to the X-Men
The story so far
AoA vs. the Clone Saga
An Age of Apocalypse that might have been
AoA vs. Earth Askani
The X-Men of Earth-295
Fashion motifs
A dubious hairstyle
Facial tattoos
Wild Child
Blink (but a different Blink)
Morph
Character designs as storytelling
Baby Charles
Magic of magnetism
Dark Beast
The Prelates Summers
The Horsemen of Earth-295
The Bobby Newport of the Age of Apocalypse
Heaven
The Human Council
What’s coming
Characters we’d like to retroactively import to AoA
Tabletop X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Previously on Earth-295…

Special thanks to Logan Bonner for the X-Men roleplaying assist!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 267 – The Saddest Joyride

October 7, 2019 Jay Leave a comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

One of those images that has really, really stuck with us over the years. (Uncanny X-Men #314)

It took a lot of self restraint not to post every single drawing of Emma in Bobby’s body from this issue. (Uncanny X-Men #314)

Those Sienkiewicz inks! (Uncanny X-Men #314)

DAMN, Emma. (Uncanny X-Men #314)

You can almost see Generation X forming between the panels. (Uncanny X-Men #314)

Programming a hologram of his dead sister to harangue him in the Danger Room may be the most Bishop move yet. (Uncanny X-Men #314)

He sewed that cape out of SO MANY cheap vinyl Catwoman costumes. (X-Men Annual #18)

Never take teenagers hostage; they’ll just judge you ’til you let them go out of sheer insecurity. (X-Men Annual #18)

[Insert Jude the Obscure joke here.] (X-Men Annual #18)

Don’t fuck with Jean Grey. (X-Men Annual #18)

WHY IS THERE A GIANT SQUID HERE (X-Men Annual #18)

Aw, Bishop. (X-Men Annual #18)

For more of this beautiful friendship, we’d recommend giving canon a miss and going straight to fellow X-Podling Adam Reck’s delightful Bish & Jubes–and, while you’re at it, supporting the collected edition on Kickstarter!

On Fridays, we wear fuchsia. (Uncanny X-Men #315)

That is one sweet coma beard. (Uncanny X-Men #315)

Yes, this is a good speech; but also, I just realized that given that the whole trial happens in space, it definitely falls under maritime law, AND I FORGOT TO MAKE ANY JOKES ABOUT IT IN THE EPISODE. (Uncanny X-Men #315)

NEXT EPISODE: We’re so close to nearly reaching what’s almost the Phalanx Covenant!

LINKS & FURTHER ACTION POINTS

Here’s where to send your strongly worded letter about why Marvel should give us Earth-441:
- Marvel Entertainment, LLC
  135 W. 50th Street
  New York, NY 10020
- You can also tweet at them with the hashtag #EarthXPlain!
- Or e-mail the X-office directly at [email protected]!
For more in-depth discussion of Emma Frost, check out Episode 219 – Brutal Hearts: An Appreciation of Emma Frost (feat. Seanan McGuire, Leah Williams, Tea Fougner, Kel McDonald, and Diana Fox)!
Yes, SoftPaws are a real thing.

267 – The Saddest Joyride

October 7, 2019 Jay 5 comments

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In which Emma Frost is a better Iceman than Bobby Drake; Generation X is aggressively foreshadowed; Malcolm and Randall are the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to Bishop’s Hamlet; and we launch a campaign for our own Multiversal designation.

X-PLAINED:

The first time the X-Men met Emma Frost
Uncanny X-Men 314-315
X-Men Annual #18
A game show nobody should ever under any circumstances actually make
Emma Frost’s recruitment tactics
Previously unexplored ice powers
The direct prelude to Generation X
Caliban (more) (again)
SoftPaws(TM)
The giant squids of New York
The neophyte
A trial, kind of
X-Men power fantasies
Earth-X-Plain

NEXT EPISODE: We’re so close to nearly reaching what’s almost the Phalanx Covenant!

Game show music by MusicManiac301; used with permission.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 235 – Fatal Extractions

February 17, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

If there’s anything I look for in an event anniversary issue, it’s an interrupted funeral. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

Nobody likes Fabian Cortez. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

“Always alone… and always dramatic.” (Uncanny X-Men #304)

Speaking of dramatic… (Uncanny X-Men #304)

One of the best of many callbacks. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

I’m curious about a lot of the inclusions and exclusions in this crowd. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

BEHOLD! (Uncanny X-Men #304)

“We live in space.” (Uncanny X-Men #304)

I wonder how many issues have had variations on this title. (X-Men #25)

HE’S VERY CLEARLY FACING AWAY. (X-Men #25)

Dang, Magneto. (X-Men #25)

“Professor, this plan is terrible.” (X-Men #25)

This implies that Xavier’s decision to wipe Magneto’s mind was the plan from the start… (X-Men #25)

Dr. Spock would like a word with you, Magneto. (X-Men #25)

“Damnit, that was my favorite shirt!” (X-Men #25)

That’s gotta smart. (X-Men #25)

…Well, damn. (X-Men #25)

Please note that even bereft of his mind, Magneto’s cape is DRAMATIC AS HELL. (X-Men #25)

NEXT EPISODE: Reality bites.

235 – Fatal Extractions (Fatal Attractions, Part 2)

February 17, 2019 Jay 34 comments

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In which Magneto may or may not own a Namor body pillow; Cyclops probably doesn’t color-code his files; Colossus is Not Okay; bats are nature’s flashers; there are a lot of reasons to be mad at Fatal Attractions; Charles Xavier is surprisingly durable; the X-Men know their Aeschylus; Jean Grey goes in through the face; and bringing Wolverine to fight the guy who controls metal was probably not a great idea.

X-PLAINED:

Mutant Alpha
Uncanny X-Men #304
X-Men #25
False foreshadowing
Costume storage and display
Relative moral event horizons
The character dehabilitation of Magneto
The Magneto Protocols
How Cyclops organizes his files
An excellent eulogy
The complicated legacy of Illyana Rasputin
Several noteworthy absences
A memorable funeral
The ‘behold’ thing
A protective mesh of electromagnetic fire
A well-played callback
A strategically dubious plan
Several Prometheus Bound quotations
An uncharitable assumption
The blood-brain barrier
A severe costume injury
The definitive scene of Fatal Attractions
The root of Onslaught
Which X-Men would podcast
Our preferred comics formats

NEXT EPISODE: Colossus still can’t catch a break

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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